人生不設(shè)限·我不必變得“正?！?，只要做“我自己”

我承認(rèn)，有好長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間，我根本不相信我有能耐左右自己故事的結(jié)果。我努力想知道自己能為這個(gè)世界帶來(lái)什么改變，或者自己該走上哪一條路。在成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中，我確信這副畸短身量占不到什么便宜。沒(méi)錯(cuò)，我是不會(huì)因?yàn)檫€沒(méi)洗手就不準(zhǔn)上餐桌，也永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)因?yàn)樘叩侥_趾頭而痛得半死，但這少數(shù)幾種好處似乎無(wú)法給我太多安慰。

I'll concede that for a long time I did not believe that I had any power over how my own story would turn out. I struggled to understand what difference I could make in the world or what path I should take. I was convinced while growing up that there was nothing good about my abbreviated body. Sure, I never had to get up from the dinner table because I hadn't washed my hands, and yes, I'd never known the pain of a stubbed toe, but these few benefits didn't seem like much consolation.

我弟弟和妹妹及那些瘋狂的堂兄弟姐妹永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)讓我陷入自憐狀態(tài)。他們不會(huì)寵我，而是照我本來(lái)的樣子接納我，但也會(huì)耍我、整我，讓我變得堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，這樣我才能在自己的境況中保持幽默感，而不是沉溺于苦澀。

My brother and sister and my crazy cousins never let me feel sorry for myself. They never coddled me. They accept me for who I am, yet they also toughened me up with their teasing and pranks so that I could find humor instead of bitterness in my circumstances.

我的堂兄弟姐妹會(huì)在大賣場(chǎng)指著我大叫：“看看那個(gè)坐在輪椅上的小孩，他是個(gè)外星人耶!”然后我們會(huì)看著陌生人莫名所以的反應(yīng)，一起笑得歇斯底里。這些路人不知道這個(gè)肢障孩子跟那些對(duì)著他指指點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的小孩，根本是同一國(guó)的。

"Look at that kid in the wheelchair! He's an alien," my cousins would scream across the shopping mall, pointing at me. We all laughed hysterically at the reactions from strangers who had no idea that the kids picking on the disabled boy were really his strongest allies.

年紀(jì)愈大我愈了解到，可以被這樣愛著，是個(gè)多么棒的禮物。或許有時(shí)你會(huì)覺(jué)得孤單，但你要知道，你也是被愛著的，而且上帝創(chuàng)造你就是出于愛，所以你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)是孤單一人。當(dāng)你感到孤獨(dú)、沮喪時(shí)，請(qǐng)?zhí)嵝炎约海系蹖?duì)你的愛是無(wú)條件的，他永遠(yuǎn)都愛你。要記住，那些感覺(jué)就只是感覺(jué)，它們不是真的，但上帝的愛是真實(shí)的，他創(chuàng)造了你，就是為了證明他的愛。

The older I become, the more I realize what a powerful gift it is to be loved like that. Even if at times you feel alone, you should know that you are loved too and recognize that God created you out of love. Therefore you are never alone. His love for you is unconditional. He doesn't love you if . . . He loves you always. Remind yourself of that when feelings of loneliness and despair come over you. Remember, those are just feelings. They are not real, but God's love is so real that He created you to prove it.

在內(nèi)心深處持有上帝的愛是非常重要的，因?yàn)槟阌袝r(shí)會(huì)很脆弱。我的大家庭不可能永遠(yuǎn)保護(hù)我，一旦去上學(xué)，我與眾不同的樣子就無(wú)所遁形了。雖然爸爸向我保證，上帝在創(chuàng)造時(shí)從不失手，但有時(shí)我也難免會(huì)想，我該不會(huì)就是那個(gè)例外吧?

It is important to hold His love in your heart because there will be times when you feel vulnerable. My big family couldn't always be there to protect me. Once I went off to school, there was no hiding that I was so very different from everyone else. My dad assured me that God didn't make mistakes, but at times I couldn't shake the feeling that I was the exception to that rule.

我問(wèn)上帝：“為什么你不能給我一只手?想想看，有了一只手，我能做多少事啊!”我相信你也曾經(jīng)禱告或祈求生命出現(xiàn)某種戲劇性的轉(zhuǎn)變。如果此刻你所期望的奇跡還沒(méi)出現(xiàn)，或者愿望尚未實(shí)現(xiàn)，你無(wú)須焦慮——請(qǐng)記?。禾熘灾摺Ｒ灰^續(xù)發(fā)揮所長(zhǎng)，努力追求人生的最高目的和夢(mèng)想，完全取決于你。

Why couldn't You give me just one arm?" I'd ask God. "Think what I could do with one arm!" I'm sure you've had similar moments when you've prayed or simply wished for a dramatic change in your life. There is no reason to panic if your miracle doesn't arrive, or if your wish doesn't come true right this minute. Remember, God helps those who help themselves. It's still up to you to keep striving to serve the highest purpose for your talents and your dreams in the world around you.

長(zhǎng)久以來(lái)我一直在想，假如我的身體可以“正常”一點(diǎn)，那人生可就輕松多了。但我不了解的是，我不必變得“正常”，我只要做“我自己”，做我爸爸的小孩，實(shí)現(xiàn)上帝的計(jì)劃就可以了。剛開始，我不愿正視這個(gè)事實(shí)：錯(cuò)的并不是我的身體，而是我對(duì)自己的人生設(shè)限，因而限制了我的視野，看不到生命的種種可能。

For the longest time I thought that if my body were more "normal," my life would be a breeze. What I didn't realize was that I didn't have to be normal—I just had to be me, my father's child, carrying out God's plan. At first I was not willing to confront that what was really wrong with me wasn't my body, it was the limits I put on myself and my limited vision of the possibilities for my life.

如果你還沒(méi)走到你想要的境界，或是還沒(méi)實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的希望，主要原因很可能出在你身上，而不是你的周遭。負(fù)起責(zé)任、采取行動(dòng)吧。然而，首先，你必須相信自己，相信自己的價(jià)值，不能躲起來(lái)干等別人發(fā)現(xiàn)你，也不能坐等奇跡或“時(shí)來(lái)運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)”。請(qǐng)想象世界是一鍋熱湯，而你是一支棍棒——攪動(dòng)起來(lái)吧!

If you aren't where you want to be or you haven't achieved all you hope to achieve, the reason most likely resides not around you but within you. Take responsibility and then take action. First, though, you must believe in yourself and your value. You can't wait for others to discover your hiding place. You can't wait for that miracle or "just the right opportunity." You should consider yourself the stick and the world your pot of stew. Stir it up.

當(dāng)我還是個(gè)小男孩時(shí)，我的睡前禱告常常是祈求有四肢。我會(huì)哭著上床，然后期待第二天一早起來(lái)身上就奇跡似的出現(xiàn)手和腳——當(dāng)然，這種奇跡永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)發(fā)生。而因?yàn)闊o(wú)法接受自己，第二天去上學(xué)時(shí)我就發(fā)現(xiàn)，要讓別人接納我，也很困難。

As a boy, I spent many nights praying for limbs. I'd go to sleep crying and dream that I'd wake up to find they had miraculously appeared. It never happened, of course. Because I did not accept myself, I went off to school the next day and as a result found that acceptance from others was hard to come by.

就像大部分的孩子一樣，十二三歲以前的我比較容易受到傷害，這個(gè)年紀(jì)的小孩總是在煩惱自己是誰(shuí)、未來(lái)在哪里、如何融入周遭生活。那些傷害我的孩子不是存心使壞，只是個(gè)性大大咧咧罷了。

Like most kids, I was more vulnerable in my pre-teen years, that time when everyone is trying to figure out where they fit in, who they are, and what the future holds. Often those who hurt me didn't set out to be cruel; they were just being typically blunt kids.

“你為什么沒(méi)手沒(méi)腳啊?”他們會(huì)這么問(wèn)。

"Why don't you have arms and legs?" they'd ask.

我像其他同學(xué)一樣渴望融入人群。心情愉快時(shí)，我用機(jī)智、風(fēng)趣讓大家服氣，開自己玩笑、在操場(chǎng)上把身體甩來(lái)甩去;難受時(shí)，我會(huì)躲在樹叢后面或空蕩蕩的教室里，免得被人傷害或嘲弄。問(wèn)題有一部分出在我和成年人及堂哥堂姐相處的時(shí)間比和同齡小孩多，所以觀點(diǎn)較成熟，而我那些比較嚴(yán)肅的念頭，有時(shí)會(huì)讓我變得悲觀、陰郁。

My desire to fit in was the same as for any of my classmates. On my good days I won them over with my wit, my willingness to poke fun at myself, and by throwing my body around on the playground. On my worst days I hid behind the shrubbery or in empty classrooms to avoid being hurt or mocked. Part of the problem was that I'd spent more time with adults and older cousins than with kids my own age. I had a more mature outlook, and my more serious thoughts sometimes took me into dark places.

永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)有女孩愛上我，我甚至無(wú)法牽女朋友的手。如果我有小孩，我也永遠(yuǎn)沒(méi)辦法抱他們。我能做什么工作?誰(shuí)會(huì)雇用我?對(duì)大部分的工作來(lái)說(shuō)，雇用我等于還得雇用第二個(gè)人來(lái)協(xié)助我做我該做的事——誰(shuí)會(huì)用兩份薪水請(qǐng)人來(lái)做一人份的工作?

I'll never get a girl to love me. I don't even have arms to hold a girlfriend. If I have children, I'll never be able to hold them either. What sort of job could I ever have? Who would hire me? For most jobs, they'd have to hire a second person just to help me do what I was supposed to do. Who would ever hire one for the price of two?

我面對(duì)的挑戰(zhàn)主要是生理上的，但很顯然，這也影響了我的情緒。我小時(shí)候經(jīng)歷過(guò)一段可怕的沮喪期，接著，當(dāng)我進(jìn)入青春期，我逐漸被接受——首先是我自己接受自己，然后是他人的接納。對(duì)此，我總是感到驚訝與感謝。

My challenges were mostly physical, but clearly they affected me emotionally as well. I went through a very scary period of depression at a young age. Then, to my everlasting shock and gratitude, as I moved into my teen years, I gradually won acceptance, first from myself and then from others.

每個(gè)人都有過(guò)被排斥、孤立、得不到愛的經(jīng)歷，這時(shí)都會(huì)心有不安。大多數(shù)孩子擔(dān)心自己因?yàn)楸亲犹蠡蝾^發(fā)太卷而被人嘲笑，大人則擔(dān)心無(wú)法支付賬單，或者不能達(dá)到期望。

Everyone goes through times when they feel excluded, alienated, or unloved. We all have our insecurities. Most kids fear they'll be mocked because their noses are too big or their hair is too curly. Adults fear that they won't be able to pay the bills or that they will fail to live up to expectations.

你會(huì)有懷疑、害怕的時(shí)刻，我們都有。情緒低落是很自然的，是人就會(huì)這樣，但如果你讓這類負(fù)面感受逡巡不去，而不是不動(dòng)于心，那就危險(xiǎn)了。

You will face moments of doubt and fear. We all do. Feeling down is natural; it is part of being perfectly human. Such feelings pose a danger only if you allow negative thoughts to stick around instead of just letting them wash over you.

當(dāng)你相信自己擁有可以與人分享的恩賜——你的天賦、知識(shí)和愛時(shí)，就會(huì)展開自我接納的旅程，即使你的才能還不是那么明顯。一旦你開始以這樣的姿態(tài)行走人生，其他人會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)你，并且與你同行。

When you trust that you have blessings—talents, knowledge, love—to share with others, you will begin the journey to self acceptance even if your gifts are not yet apparent. Once you begin that walk, others will find you and walk with you.