CHANGE U.
當(dāng)我們經(jīng)歷轉(zhuǎn)變時(shí),有時(shí)不一定會(huì)意識(shí)到它對(duì)我們的沖擊。被迫離開(kāi)自己的舒適區(qū),通常會(huì)產(chǎn)生壓力、疑慮,甚至憂郁,無(wú)論那個(gè)轉(zhuǎn)變有多輕松、容易。你或許了解你人生的目的,深懷盼望,信心堅(jiān)定,而且具備強(qiáng)烈的自我價(jià)值感,有正面的態(tài)度和面對(duì)恐懼的勇氣,以及從失敗中東山再起的能耐,但如果遇到生命中不可避免的變化,你就崩潰了,那你的人生永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法前進(jìn)。
Sometimes when we go through transitions, we aren't aware of the impact they have on us. Stress, doubt, and even depression commonly result from being moved or thrown out of your comfort zone, however easy the transition is. You may have a strong sense of purpose, high hopes, strong faith, a powerful sense of self-worth, a positive attitude, the courage to face your fears, and the ability to bounce back from failures. But if you fall apart when faced with the inevitable changes that life brings, you will never move forward.
人常??咕芨淖儯贿^(guò)說(shuō)真的,誰(shuí)會(huì)想要過(guò)一個(gè)沒(méi)有變化的人生?某些最棒的體驗(yàn)、成長(zhǎng)與收獲,往往來(lái)自改變——搬到另一個(gè)城市、換工作、上不同的課程,或者進(jìn)入一段比較美好的關(guān)系等等。
We often resist change, but really, who would want a life without it? Some of our greatest experiences, growth, and rewards come to us as the result of moving to a new place, switching jobs, following a different course of study, or moving into a better relationship.
人生是一段從兒童期進(jìn)入青春期、成年期,再進(jìn)入老年期的發(fā)展過(guò)程,不改變根本不可能,而且那樣也太乏味了吧。有時(shí)必須有耐心,因?yàn)槲覀儫o(wú)法一直控制、影響改變,甚至想要的變化也可能不會(huì)在我們期待的時(shí)刻出現(xiàn)。
Our lives are a progression from childhood through adolescence and adulthood into our senior years. To not change would be impossible and deadly dull. Sometimes we have to be patient. We can't always control or even influence change, and the changes that we want may not happen when we want them to.
有兩種主要類型的改變可能成為我們生命中的挑戰(zhàn),甚至讓日常生活陷于混亂。第一種是外來(lái)的,第二種是內(nèi)在的。我們無(wú)法控制第一種改變,但我們可以,也應(yīng)該掌控第二種。
There are two major types of change that tend to challenge us and disrupt our day-to-day lives. The first happens to us. The second happens within us. We can't control the first, but we can and should control the second.
對(duì)爸爸、媽媽決定搬到美國(guó)的事,就跟我天生沒(méi)手沒(méi)腳的狀況一樣,我都沒(méi)什么發(fā)言權(quán),這些不是我能決定的。然而我有能力決定如何面對(duì)遷居美國(guó)這個(gè)變動(dòng),就好像我面對(duì)自己的身體障礙一樣。我接受了這件事,并決定竭盡全力。
I had no say in my parents' decision to move to the United States, any more than I did about being born without arms or legs. They were beyond my influence. But just as with my disability, I had the power to determine how I would deal with the move to the United States. I came to accept it and to dedicate myself to making the best of it.
你也有同樣的能力去處理那些你不想要或沒(méi)有預(yù)期到的改變??焖偾覠o(wú)法預(yù)料的變化,例如失業(yè)、生病、發(fā)生意外或摯愛(ài)的人過(guò)世,常常讓我們措手不及,所以你一開(kāi)始或許沒(méi)有意識(shí)到改變生命的重大事件正在進(jìn)行。在掌控你不想要或突然發(fā)生的變化時(shí),第一步就是保持警覺(jué),迅速認(rèn)知到你即將進(jìn)入一個(gè)新階段——無(wú)論是好是壞。光是覺(jué)察到變化就可以減輕壓力。然后,心里頭要想著:“好,這是全新的狀況,可能有些奇怪,但我必須保持冷靜,不要驚慌,要有耐心,我知道最后一切都會(huì)很好。”
You have that same ability to deal with unwanted or unexpected changes in your life. Often you can be blindsided by rapid and unexpected shifts in your circumstances—a loved one dies, a job is lost, an illness strikes, an accident occurs—so that you may not recognize at first that a major life-changing event is under way. Your first step in mastering an unwanted or sudden alteration is to be alert to them and quick to recognize that you are about to enter a new phase, for better or worse. Just being aware of that reduces the stress. Keep in mind thoughts like Okay, this is all new. It will seem a bit strange. I will need to stay calm, not panic, and be patient. I know it will all work out for the best.
當(dāng)我們移居美國(guó)時(shí),我有一大堆時(shí)間去思索生活有哪些方面正在發(fā)生變化,然而某些時(shí)刻,我還是會(huì)覺(jué)得承受不住,思想混亂無(wú)序。有時(shí),我真想大叫:“我要回去過(guò)真正的生活!”
When we moved to the United States, I had plenty of time to think about all the ways our lives were changing, yet at some moments I felt overwhelmed and disoriented. Sometimes I felt like screaming, "I just want to go back home to my real life!"
你可能也會(huì)有這樣的時(shí)刻?,F(xiàn)在回頭看,我發(fā)現(xiàn)還真有趣,因?yàn)槟菚r(shí)我很想回澳大利亞,但現(xiàn)在的我卻非常喜歡住在加州。希望有一天你也能像我一樣笑看人生種種。要知道,經(jīng)歷生命中的重大轉(zhuǎn)變時(shí),覺(jué)得挫折和憤怒是很自然的,所以給自己一些時(shí)間調(diào)整吧,讓自己對(duì)一些意料之外的顛簸變動(dòng)作好準(zhǔn)備,是很有幫助的。就像搬到一個(gè)新城市,你總得給自己時(shí)間去找到生活之道,學(xué)習(xí)適應(yīng)當(dāng)?shù)氐娘L(fēng)土人情,讓自己融入。
Sorry to say, mate, but you will probably have those moments too. I look back on mine now and see the humor in them, especially since now I love living in California. Hopefully you'll be able to laugh at yourself one day just as I did. You should understand that frustrations and anger are natural emotions when going through a major transition. Give yourself some slack and time to adjust. It helps to prepare yourself for unexpected jolts now and then. It's like moving to a new city: you have to give yourself time to find your way, get acclimated, and discover where you fit in.
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