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生活大爆炸第五季:第12集伯妮抱怨生娃毀媽(下)

所屬教程:生活大爆炸第五季

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2018年04月18日

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And now, all the rings are magically linked together.

現(xiàn)在所有環(huán)都神奇地連起來了

My fiance's wearing a magic ring, too.It made all my money disappear.

我未婚妻也戴著一個神奇的環(huán) 把我的錢都變沒了

Oh, ah, right.

哦對

And now, the great Howdini's next miraculous illusion.

現(xiàn)在請看奇妙霍迪尼的下一個神奇幻術 (昵稱來自大魔術師胡迪尼)

When are we gonna have cake?

我們什么時候能吃蛋糕

After you've been thoroughly amazed.

等你們完全被驚嘆之后

But we want cake now.

我們現(xiàn)在就想吃

Well, you're not getting cake right now, capisce?

現(xiàn)在不給你們吃懂了沒

Okay. Okay.

好了好了

Now, my lovely assistant is going to bring me an ordinary pitcher of milk.

現(xiàn)在我可愛的助手將遞給我一大罐普通的牛奶

I know how you do that trick.

我知道這個魔術是怎么變的

Do you know how to pipe down?

那你知道怎么把嘴閉上嗎

Okay, we're going to roll up this newspaper.

好了現(xiàn)在我要把這張報紙卷起來

It's a fake pitcher.

那個牛奶罐是假的

You got wax in your ears?The man said it's an ordinary pitcher.

你耳朵被耳屎堵上了是嗎這男人都說了這是個普通的罐子

Howdini.

霍迪尼

Okay, we're going to stick this in here.And then I'm going to pour in the milk.I hope this works,because I didn't bring a change of pants.

好的現(xiàn)在我要把報紙塞進這里然后把牛奶倒進去但愿這個魔術會成功我可沒帶多余的褲子來換

Look, I Googled it.It's a fake pitcher.

你看我谷歌過了那就是個假罐子

That's it.No cake for you.Anyone else want to join the No Cake Club?

夠了你今天沒蛋糕吃了還有誰也不想吃蛋糕的

She's just kidding, boys and girls.Everyone gets cake.

她只是開玩笑而已的孩子們每個人都有蛋糕吃

Not him.

他不許

Just give me the pitcher.

把罐子給我

Behold!

看好啦

Wrong pitcher.

帶錯罐子了

I told you I'm not good with kids.

我就說我跟小孩處不好嘛

Yes, you did.

的確

Oh, I think my crotch is starting to curdle.

我的褲襠好像開始結(jié)乳塊了

The thing is, my mother worked fulltime.I had to take care of my brothers and sisters.

是這樣的小時候我媽工作忙弟弟妹妹們都是由我照顧

Yeah, so?

所以呢

Ugh, it was horrible!With their snotty noses and their poopy diapers and their little shrieky voices, always complaining.

那簡直糟透了又得給他們擦鼻涕又得換尿布整天聽著他們扯著嗓子抱怨

I don't want to get dressed.Joey keeps spitting in my mouth.This isn't the way Mom makes waffles.Well, okay, put your hand in here.Let's see how you like this waffle!

我不想穿衣服喬伊老是往我嘴里吐口水媽媽不是這樣做華夫餅的好吧那你就把手放進烤餅機里看你喜不喜歡這焦手餅

All right, settle down.Red light.Red light, red light!Okay, we're fine.

好了冷靜點紅燈紅燈紅燈沒事兒沒撞

I'm sorry.I know it makes me sound like a bad person,but I just don't like children.

對不起我知道這話會讓我聽起來像是個惡人但我真的不喜歡小孩

Yeah, no, we all got that.

不這點我們都心知肚明

But don't you think it'll be different when the child is ours?

但是你不覺得如果是親生的孩子情況就會不一樣了嗎

Right, when it's our kid that's ruined my body and kept me up all night and I've got no career and no future and nothing to be happy about for the next 20 years,sure, that'll be completely different.

是啊等咱們的孩子毀了我的體型吵著我睡不了覺害得我沒工作沒前途而且在未來的二十年里毫無幸福可言情況當然是不一樣了

Well, yeah.

是啊

I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier we were just looking at at Sears.

這間珠寶店里的任何一件珠寶都不可能比剛才看的那臺增濕器更讓艾米滿心歡喜了

Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff.

天啊我算是知道我說傻話時你的感受了

Ooh, a pocket watch.

懷表

Okay, I don't think Amy wants a pocket watch.

好吧我不認為艾米會喜歡懷表

No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.

也許不會但也許她會喜歡戴懷表的男人

Still saying stupid stuff.

還在說傻話

Does she like bracelets?

她喜歡手鐲嗎

Well, she's very fond of her silver one that says "Allergic to penicillin."

她很喜歡她那個刻著青霉素過敏的銀手鐲

Maybe they have a dressier version of that?

沒準他們這有差不多但是更講究點的

Well, how are we doing this afternoon?Are we looking for anything special? Perhaps a ring for the lady?

下午好呀你們有什么特別的需要嗎沒準給這位美女買個戒指

Trust me, we are not a couple.

拜托我們才不是情侶

Excuse me. I don't see why you get to snort derisively and point that out.You'd be lucky to land a fella like me.

不好意思該嗤之以鼻的是我吧哪輪得到你你要是泡到我這樣的男人得謝天謝地了

Fine, go ahead.

好吧你說

Trust me, we are not a couple.

拜托我們才不是情侶

My apologies. How can I help you today?

抱歉有什么可以幫到二位的嗎

He's in trouble with his girlfriend and needs to buy her a present.

他跟他女朋友吵架了所以想給她買個禮物

Great, trouble with girlfriends is what's putting my daughter through USC.

好的就是靠著男人買道歉禮物我才供得起我女兒讀大學的

Ooh, are these real diamonds?

這是真的鉆石嗎

Yes. Channel set baguettes, 20 points total weight.

是的槽鑲長鉆總重二十分(一克拉等于一百分)

Remarkable.Diamonds, crystallized carbon. Every day, people go to the grocery store and come home with sacks full of carbon in the form of charcoal briquettes that they toss in their barbeques and set on fire.

真神奇鉆石不過就是結(jié)晶狀的碳而已人們每天去雜貨店買回家的也是碳只不過是被人丟進烤爐當火源的炭塊

But just because you've got some carbon with the atoms stacked neatly,you expect me to plunk down thousands of dollars.

可你這只不過有幾塊分子排列整齊的碳你就指望我扔下幾千美金來買

Actually, that's only 750.Everything's on sale.

實際上售價只有七百五十美金而已所有商品都打折

Really. Talk to me about that pocket watch.

真的嗎給我介紹一下那塊懷表吧

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it.I always thought I'd be a dad someday.

我還在琢磨那件事呢我一直覺得我某天會當上爸爸的

Oh, me, too.You're so caring.I've often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood.

我也這么覺得你好有愛我腦海常浮現(xiàn)你把男孩撫育成男人的畫面

There you go, Howard.Sounds like Raj'll have your babies; problem solved.

太好了霍華德看來拉杰會替你生孩子的問題解決了

Hey, just because a man shows caring for another man doesn't mean he's displaying the love that dare not speak its name.

一個男人對另一個男人表示關心并不意味著是在向他表達那種禁忌之愛

Did she definitely say she didn't want kids?

她明確說了不想要孩子嗎

Yeah, she doesn't like them.

是啊她十分不喜歡孩子

And from what I saw, the feeling was mutual.

據(jù)我看來孩子們也不喜歡她

What are you gonna do?

你打算怎么辦

I don't know.I can't see a life where I don't have kids.

我不知道我無法想象沒有孩子的人生

I mean, people have kids.I mean, even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong Jr.

誰都有孩子啊就連大金剛都有個娃小大金剛

So he could teach someone how to kidnap princesses and throw barrels at Italian plumbers.

有個孩子能讓他教導如何綁架公主(皆為經(jīng)典任天堂游戲角色) 和怎么朝那意大利籍水管工丟木桶 (皆為大金剛經(jīng)典游戲內(nèi)容綁架公主與朝水管工馬里奧丟木桶)

You know, there's no guarantee even if you have kids that you're going to like them.

但即使你有了孩子也無法保證你就一定會喜歡他們啊

Wow, that's rough. Where'd you get that?

太可怕了你從哪得來這感觸的

It's right off the dust jacket of my mom's last book.

我媽最新著作封面上就寫了這句話

Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other.

或許我和伯納黛特不合適

Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea,but I watched you dangle your hook in the water for years. Do not throw her back.

霍華德雖說海大何患無魚可我看著你晃著魚鉤釣了這么多年千萬別放魚歸海啊

I don't want to, but this is kind of a deal breaker.

我也不想啊可這事太破壞感情

What's your mom going to say if you call off the wedding?

要是你媽知道你想取消婚禮會如何

Oh, it'll kill her.On the other hand, if I don't give her grandchildren, that'll kill her, too.So, either way, on the Mom front, I'm golden.

她會氣死的但反過來說她要知道以后沒孫子抱也會氣死的不管怎么說我媽會被氣死這事我很有信心

What time did you tell Amy to be here?

你跟艾米說讓她幾點來

8:00

八點

Sheldon, that pocket watch is ridiculous.

謝爾頓你那掛表太可笑了

Nonsense.I look like a train conductor.

胡說我戴著就像列車長

Under what pretext did you lure her here?

你用什么借口引誘她過來的

I said, "Hey, want to come over and hang out?"

我說想過來坐坐聊聊嗎

Good, good, if you had said something clever,she might've gotten suspicious.

很好你要說了什么有深度的理由她可能就起疑心了的

What's he doing here?

他在這干嘛

Okay, he wants to talk to you.

他想跟你談談

Well, I don't want to talk to him.

可我不想跟他談

And I'm pretty disappointed in you, too.

現(xiàn)在我對你也很失望了

Although we both know that won't last.

雖然我也氣不了你多久

Sheldon, you're up.

謝爾頓該你了

Thank you.

謝謝

Amy, I'd like to apologize.

艾米我想跟你道歉

Your accomplishment was impressive.

你的成就非常驚人

And I'm proud of you.

我以你為榮

We both know that's your koala face.I told you.

你用考拉臉想糊弄誰啊你看吧

Okay, look, he bought you this.

他給你買了禮物

Jewelry?Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow,selfcentered person I have ever met.Do you really think another transparently manipul...

送我珠寶真的假的謝爾頓你是我見過最膚淺最自我中心的人你真的以為你想操縱...

Oh, it's a tiara! A tiara! I have a tiara!

是個皇冠皇冠我有了個皇冠

You look beautiful.

給我戴上快給我戴上給我戴上給我戴上戴上戴上戴著真漂亮

Of course I do, I'm a princess, and this is my tiara!

當然漂亮我是公主這是我的皇冠

You were right, the tiara was too much.

你說得對送皇冠太過了

Howard! Bernadette's...

霍華德伯納黛特到...

Oh, she slipped right by me.

她從我身邊溜過去了

Here's your vest back.

我來還你的背心

You should keep it.You could wear it again sometime.

你留著吧以后說不定還有機會穿呢

Where?

去哪穿啊

I don't know, hunting?

不知道去打獵的時候吧

Don't forget to talk to her about this mishegas where I don't get grandkids!

別忘了跟她談談那件瘋狂的事就是我抱不上孫兒的事

Don't worry, Ma.I will, as soon as I can figure out a way to bring up such a sensitive issue!

別擔心老媽我會的只要我想出怎么跟她提出這個敏感問題

I guess you talked to your mom, huh?

看來你告訴你媽媽了

I was upset. My mom can be a pretty good shoulder to cry on,if the smell of Bengay doesn't burn your eyes.

我當時很傷心嘛我媽強壯的臂彎還是挺適合靠著哭泣的忽略她灼傷人眼的鎮(zhèn)痛劑味道就行了

Look, it's obvious having kids is really important to you,and I think I came up with a solution.

顯然要孩子這事對你很重要我想出了一個辦法

Really? That's great. What?

真的嗎太好了是什么

Well, seeing as how I make way more money than you anyway, what if I work and you stay home with the kids?

既然我賺的錢比你多得多讓我工作而你在家照顧孩子怎樣

Me?

我

Yeah.You know, you'll watch Barneyand pull Cheerios out of their noses and go on play dates,and I'll work and have conversations with people my own age and enjoy my life.

對啊陪孩子看兒童節(jié)目《小恐龍巴尼》幫他們把卡鼻子里的麥片摳出來然后帶他們?nèi)ジ渌⒆油嫠?而我出去工作跟我們的同齡人一起聊天享受我的人生

Yeah...

好啊

Yay, so we're good.

太好了問題解決了

Yeah, we're good.

對沒問題了

You know, I don't know if this counted as a fight,but how about some makeup sex?

我不知道這次算不算吵架不過想要來個吵后滾床單嗎

I would love that.

我喜歡

But what is that behind your ear? Oh, look, it's a condom.