生活大爆炸 第五季:第22集 單身派對帶來的麻煩(下)
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Okay, I'll go.
好，我來
Howard, when I think about you and Bernadette starting this wonderful life together,
霍華德，想到你跟伯納黛特，攜手開始美好的人生旅程
I can't help but get a little choked up. I mean... look at you. You have everything.
我不禁有點哽咽，我是說，瞧瞧你啊，你擁有一切
Look at me. I'm 37.
瞧瞧我，都37了
I sleep in the back of a comic book store, and I have the bone density of an 80-year-old man.
還睡在漫畫店后面，骨密度相當于80歲老頭
To Howard. Yeah, to Howard. Yes... Um, uh, who's next? I'll go.
敬霍華德。嗯，敬霍華德。對了...誰還要說?我來
Howard, I'm gonna say something to you that everybody's thinking but no one has the courage to say out loud.
霍華德，我想說件事，大家心里都嘀咕呢，只是沒膽說
When you invite a man to a bachelor party, the implication is, there will be strippers.
你邀請哥們來單身派對，其中含義就是，會有脫衣舞娘
Maybe not completely nude, but at least pasties and G-strings. That's not unreasonable.
也不用全裸的啦，但起碼要有，貼胸貼，穿丁字褲的吧，你這太坑爹了
Hear, hear. Hear, hear...
干杯，干杯。干杯，干杯...
Okay, uh, anybody else? Huh? No?
還有人嗎?沒啦
Okay, it all comes down to me, the best man.
那就該我這伴郎了
This grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper.
這蚱蜢酒還真讓我腦仁亂跳呢
Okay, okay, when I first came to this country, I-I didn't know how to behave or how to dress, or what was cool... I was pretty lonely.
好，我剛來這國家時，不知道該如何交流，如何穿著，還有怎么扮酷，我當時挺寂寞的
But then I met Howard, and suddenly, my life changed, because we could be lonely together.
但然后我就遇到了霍華德，突然我的人生就變了，因為，我們可以一起寂寞
This man became my whole world.
這男人成了我的全世界
Yeah, nice speech, Francine.
說得好，妹子
I'm not done, but thank you.
我沒說完呢，但謝啦
I think back... to all the good times we had,
我回憶起...我們一起經(jīng)歷的美好時光
like, uh, when we went camping and spent that night telling each other all our secrets. I told him
比如我們?nèi)ヂ稜I那晚，我倆互相傾訴彼此的秘密，我說
I'm addicted to pedicures and he told me he lost his virginity to his cousin.
我是戀腳癖，他說他的初夜給了他表姐
She was my second cousin.
是遠房的啦
And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually. Ba-da-bazinga!
也是你第一位，讓她性趣全失的女人。逗了個逗你玩
Oh... oh, yeah, and then there was the time when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas
還有次，萊納德和我，帶霍華德去拉斯維加斯
and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish and that she wanted his little kosher pickle.
我倆請了個妓女，讓她假裝是猶太人，還想吃他的小黃瓜
Of all the "Howard humping hookers" stories, that one's my favorite!
在所有"霍華德上妓女"的故事中，這是我的最愛
Okay, buddy, that's it. Sit down. Oh, oh, what about that tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic-con?
好了，哥們，夠了。坐吧，動漫展那個穿美少女戰(zhàn)士裝的胖妞，是怎么回事來著?
Don't remember. Please sit down. The only threesome I've ever had in my life, and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here.
不記得了，快坐下吧。我人生唯一一次3P，我很驕傲，因為是跟這哥們一起的
Oh, please shut up. Oh, oh, don't get me wrong, nothing happened with me and Howard.
快閉嘴吧。別誤會了，我跟霍華德沒怎么著
There was about 200 pounds of Sailor Moon between us.
我倆之間隔著個90公斤重的，美少女戰(zhàn)士呢
Oh, Internet, this is so going all over you.
互聯(lián)網(wǎng)啊，這視頻肯定火了
Jeepers, I'm drunk.
哇塞，我醉了
Thank you for picking us up.
謝謝你接我們
There's a warning, right there, on the scotch bottle. You cannot be operatin' heavy machinery after you had a snootful of this, laddie!
威士忌酒瓶上有條警告，喝多了以后不準操作重機械，小伙子
Funny. You boys have a nice time?
有意思。你們玩得開心嗎?
Yeah, it was great.
嗯，挺不錯的
Low-key, like I promised. No hanky-panky, no strippers. Just the guys telling jokes. That's nice.
如我保證的那樣，很低調，沒惡作劇，沒請脫衣舞娘，就是一群爺們瞎扯淡。不錯
How about you? Did you have a fun night?
你呢? 你今晚開心嗎?
Yeah, we, uh, made gift bags, had wine, and then went online and saw this.
嗯，我們準備禮品袋，喝了酒，然后上網(wǎng)看到了這個
Of all the "Howard humping hookers" stories, that one's my favorite.
在所有"霍華德上妓女"的故事中，這是我的最愛
You know, we're not that far from my apartment. If you stop the car, I can walk from here.
這里離我家也不遠，你停車的話，我走著回去就行
You ain't goin' anywhere, Threeway.
你哪里也別想去，3P男
Bernadette, listen... You lied to me.
伯納黛特，聽好，你騙了我
You said you told me about all the girls you've been with, but you never mentioned your cousin, the prostitute or Raj!
你說你交往過的女孩，你都交代全了，可你沒提過你表姐，妓女和拉杰
Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car. Anything under ten miles an hour and I can combat-roll into the street.
其實你也不用停車啦，只要時速在十英里下，我就能滾到街上去
Okay, just to set the record straight, I didn't hire the prostitute, she was a gift from him.
澄清一下，那妓女不是我招的，是他們送我的禮物
Shame on you, Raj. That is not how we treat women in this country.
真無恥，拉杰，在這國家，可不能那么對女人
Don't you try and blame this on him. Thank you, Bernadette. Zip it, pervert!
別想怪他身上。謝謝，伯納黛特。閉嘴，變態(tài)
I don't know what I'm going to do.
我不知道該怎么辦了
I'm supposed to marry Howard in a couple weeks and I'm not sure I even know who the man is anymore.
我?guī)字芎缶鸵藿o霍華德，但現(xiàn)在都不確定我是否了解他了
I'm curious what's bothering you most: the borderline incest,
我想問下哪一條最困擾你，不倫亂交...
the prostitute or group sex with the girl dressed as the children's cartoon?
妓女，還是，跟幼兒卡通打扮的妹子群交?
Amy, remember when we went over things that would be helpful and things that wouldn't? Right.
艾米，記得咱討論過，怎樣才有幫助，怎樣沒有嗎?好
And that was... Not.
所以是...別問了
When I first met Howard, he seemed so innocent to me, just a sweet little guy who lives with his mother.
我第一次見霍華德時，覺得他好傻好天真，就是個跟媽媽住一起的小男孩
Well, if that's what you like, I'll take you to the comic book store-the place is full of 'em.
如果你喜歡，我?guī)闳ヂ嫷?，里面全是這樣的
Wait a minute. You set me up with Howard.
等一下。我倆是你撮合的
Did you know about all the creepy stuff he was into?
你知道他做過這么多猥瑣事嗎?
Well, a little.You hear stuff...
多多少少聽到過一點
Why didn't you tell me. Well, I was gonna, but I didn't think it would go past the first date.
怎么不給我說呢。我想說的，但我以為，你倆第一次約會后就沒戲了
Then, when it did, I thought for sure it wouldn't go past you meeting his mother.
你們繼續(xù)后，我認為，你見她媽后，就肯定沒戲了
Definitely not past the two of you sleeping together. I mean, the warning signs were there-this is really on you.
更沒想到你倆會上床，"警告標志"那么明顯，這其實該怪你。
My God! I thought you were my friend.
天哪！我還把你當朋友呢
I don't think that was helpful.
這樣沒啥幫助吧
Hi, Bernie, it's me again. Please call me back.
妮妮，還是我，求你回我電話吧
Dude, I am so sorry.
哥們，太對不起了
It's not your fault, it's mine.
不是你的錯，該怪我
I did all that stuff, not you.
這都是我自作自受
Actually, you did do one of them together.
其實有件事是你倆一起做的
Here. What is this?
給。這是什么?
You're upset. The convention is to bring an upset person a hot beverage. No, but what is it?
你很傷心，按規(guī)矩，要給傷心之人杯熱飲，我是問這是什么?
Chicken broth.
雞湯
It seemed culturally appropriate.
這在文化層面上也合適
Also, there was a single cube of chicken bouillon in the cupboard when I moved in and it's been bothering me for the last eight years...
而且，茶幾上一直有個雞湯塊，我搬進來就有，這八年來我一直很困擾
So, as they say, two birds.
俗話說，一箭雙雕
I don't know what my next move is.
我不知道接下來該怎么辦
Well, Howard, I don't know much about women... Yeah?
霍華德，我不是多了解女人...嗯?
No, uh, that, that's it.I don't know much about women.
沒了，我不是多了解女人
Raj, you got anything?
拉杰，你有想法嗎?
I've got the phone number of the tubby girl from Comic-Con.
我有動漫展那胖妞的電話
I'm not calling the girl from Comic-con.
我可不要打給她
All right. More Sailor Moon for me.
好吧。美少女戰(zhàn)士就歸我了
I just threw up the bachelor party.
我剛把派對上吃的都吐了
Please come out, Bernadette.Let's talk through this.
快出來吧，伯納黛特，咱好好談談
No, leave me alone.
不，別管我
Perhaps you should give him a taste of his own medicine. Do you have a cousin who you find attractive?
也許你該以牙還牙，你有喜歡你的表兄弟不?
Amy. Hey, you introduced him to the sleazebag. I'm just trying to clean up your mess.
艾米，那爛貨是你介紹給她的，我在努力收視爛攤子呢
Oh, hi! Hi! I need to talk to Bernadette.
哦，嗨！嗨！我得跟伯納黛特談談
Well, I don't think she wants to talk to anyone right now.
她現(xiàn)在應該不想跟任何人談
All right, well, could you at least give her a message? Yeah, sure, I guess.
好，你能幫我?guī)€話嗎?好
Tell her I'm really sorry.
給她說，我很抱歉
And if she doesn't want to marry me, I get it.
如果她不想嫁給我，我也理解
But what I really want her to know is the guy that she's disgusted by, is the guy that I'm disgusted by, too. But that guy doesn't exist anymore; he's gone.
但我想讓她知道，她討厭的那人，也正是我討厭的人，但那人已經(jīng)不存在了，不在了
And the reason is because of her.
原因正是因為她
So, if this relationship is over, let her know that she made me a better man, and tell her thank you.
如果我們結束了，請告訴她，是她讓我變得更好，幫我說謝謝
Oh, my God, Howard. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
天哪，霍華德，這是我聽過最美的話
And it came out of you.
還是從你嘴里說出來的
Howie? Penny has a message for you.
華仔?佩妮有話要給你說
I heard. Your voice, not unlike your mother's, travels through walls.
我聽到了，你的聲音跟你媽一樣，能穿墻透壁
Do you want me to go? No. Come here.
要我走嗎?不，過來吧
I'm still really mad at you.
我還是生你的氣
I get that. Is there anything else about your past I should know?
我知道。關于你的過去，還有什么我該知道的嗎?
Couple things, but, you know, most of them happened overseas. I'll tell you later.
還有些吧，但大部分都發(fā)生在國外。我晚點再交代
Okay. So, is the wedding still on?
好。那婚禮沒取消吧
Yeah, the wedding's still on.
嗯，沒取消
Oh, thank God. I'm still a maid of honor!
謝天謝地。我還是首席伴娘
Oh, what the hell.
管它呢
This is kind of hot.
略爽
Hello. What's with the robe?
你好，你咋穿個睡袍
I'm gonna have sex with you right here, right now, on that washing machine.
我要跟你在這里來一發(fā)，就在洗衣機上
No, you're not. Come on, please.
不行。拜托，求你啦
If you want to do something, you can help me fold this sheet.
你想找點事做，就幫我疊床單吧
Folding a sheet in my underwear, still pretty crazy.
穿著內(nèi)褲疊床單，也挺瘋的
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