生活大爆炸 第六季:第16集:情人節(jié)(上)
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You'll never believe what happened to me at work today.
你絕對想不到我今天工作時遇上了什么事
This old guy was choking on his food, and I saved his life.
一個老頭子吃東西噎到了， 我救了他一命
You're kidding. Did you Heimlich him?
真的嗎， 你對他用了海姆立克急救法嗎
No. I said, "Oh, my God, I think that old guy's choking,"
沒有， 我說， 天啊， 我覺得他噎著了
and then one of the busboys Heimlich'ed him.
然后一個勤雜工對他用了海姆立克急救法
You're a hero. Yeah, that was the point of the story.
你真是英雄。我就是這意思
Oh, yeah, speaking of work, do you know if you have Thursday night off?
說到工作， 你周四晚上是不是不用上班
Um, I think so. Why?
好像是， 怎么了
What do you mean, why? It's Valentine's Day.
什么叫"怎么了" 那天是情人節(jié)啊
Oh, right. Yeah, we can do something.
對哦。我們可以約個會
You could be a little more into it.
你可以表現(xiàn)得更熱情一點
No, I'm into it, I'm into it.
我很熱情， 我很熱情
Just, there's so much pressure to make the night special, and it never works out.
只是要想度過一個特別之夜壓力好大，而且結(jié)果總不盡如人意
Okay, well, this time it's going to be different.
今年的情人節(jié)會有所不同的
Because I am like a romance ninja.
因為我就像一個浪漫忍者
You don't see it coming, and then bam!
出乎你意料， 突然一下
Romance, watch out, hearts, kisses, love, oohya!
浪漫， 注意， 心形， 親親， 愛情
You know, sometimes I think I've made you so much cooler than you used to be, and then you go and do that.
有時我以為我把你改造得比以前酷多了然后你就會鬧騰兩下證明我錯了
So, in conclusion, I believe the painful sensation felt after passing a meal of spicy chilies is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.
總而言之我認為吃完辣椒后排泄時感受到的痛苦證明了直腸的確有味覺
I concur, but you changed the subject.
我同意， 但你改變了話題
What are we doing for Valentine's Day?
我們情人節(jié)有什么安排
Oh, you caught that, did you?
被你發(fā)現(xiàn)了？
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay! Okay. Everything okay?
好，行，可以，沒問題，好的啦好，一切都還"好"嗎
Bernie's a little cranky since she's been working, like, 17 hours a day.
妮妮有些暴躁因為她一天工作17個小時
And I've got a lot on my plate, too, because I've been busting my tail playing Assassin's Creed.
我也沒閑著， 因為我一直，都在忙著玩《刺客信條》
Hey, Stuart, you got anything going on for Valentine's Day? Not really.
斯圖爾特，你情人節(jié)有什么安排嗎？沒有
Other than hiding all the sharp objects around here and whiteknuckling it till morning.
只是把這里所有尖銳的東西都藏起來然后緊張兮兮到天明
What do you got going on?
你打算干什么
Oh, well, I was going to spend the night with my special little lady, but, uh, she got worms, and then I had to take her to the vet.
我本打算和我的小寶貝共度今晚， 但是它長了寄生蟲， 所以我得送它去看獸醫(yī)
There must be something we can do.
肯定能找到事情打發(fā)時間的
Well, uh, how about you keep the store open late, and we throw a party for all the people who don't have dates?
不如你晚點關(guān)門我們舉辦一個派對邀請所有沒約會的人
That actually sounds kind of nice.
聽起來真是個好主意
Yeah, the theme will be that the greatest love a man can have is the love he has with himself. That's good.
派對主題是， 一個男人所擁有的最偉大的愛就是對自己的愛。挺好
Or maybe something a little less "Hand in the pants."
或者換個聽著不那么像打飛機的主題
Oh, Alex, excellent.
艾利克斯， 太好了
I have a research problem that I believe you can help with.
我有個研究問題我相信你能助我一臂之力
Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank you.
庫珀博士， 謝謝
I've been waiting for an opportunity to contribute to your scientific work.
我一直在等待一個機會為你的科研做出貢獻
Oh, no, no. That's not going to happen, no.
不不， 沒那可能， 絕對沒
What I need you to do is find a Valentine's gift for my girlfriend.
我是要你為我的女朋友挑情人節(jié)禮物
You realize I passed up an opportunity to work at Fermilab to take this job with you.
你知道我推掉了費米實驗室的工作， 而選擇與你合作吧（美國最重要的物理學研究中心之一）
Well, I guess those chaps will have to have someone else buy their girlfriends presents.
看來那些小伙子們得找別人來給他們的女友買禮物了
Now, here is... Let's see. This is... This is about $2,000.
這里有，瞧瞧，這里，這里大概是兩千塊
Um, I think she likes monkeys and the color gray.
我覺得她喜歡猴子和灰色
Contribute to my work. Ah, kids say the darnedest things.
為我的科研做出貢獻，小孩子真是會胡扯
Hey, you coming to lunch?
去吃中飯嗎
Yeah, one second.Come here. I want to show you something.
稍等片刻過來， 給你看個東西
What you looking at?Well, I was trying to come up with something really romantic to give Bernadette for Valentine's Day since she's been such a pain in the ass.
你在看什么呢我想送個非常浪漫的情人節(jié)禮物給伯納黛特因為她最近真的很討厭
You can't find a card that says that? Check it out.
找不到上面寫著"你很討厭"的賀卡嗎？來看看
I used the atomic force microscope in the material science lab and wrote our initials in a heart 1/1,000 the size of a grain of sand.
我動用了材料科學實驗室的原子力顯微鏡， 在沙粒千分之一大小的心形上刻上了我倆姓名首字母
Oh, that's cool. A microvalentine for a microbiologist.
太帥了，給微生物學家準備的"微小"情人節(jié)禮物
From her microhusband. That is amazing.
她"微小"的丈夫送的。太棒了
How long did this take you?
你花了多長時間
Mmm, about 12 hours. I pulled an allnighter.
大概12個小時。我忙活了整個通宵
Yeah, I know, it really took a bite out of my video game time.
我知道， 我的游戲時間慘遭侵占
What are you and Penny doing?
你和佩妮打算干什么
Oh, I'm going to take her to a nice restaurant for dinner.
我打算帶她去高級餐廳共進晚餐
Oh, that's not bad, but as far as romance goes, I think my gift hits it right out of...
還不錯， 但從浪漫的角度來說我覺得我的禮物完全勝過了...
Want to come to dinner with us? Yes, please. Okay.
想和我們共進晚餐嗎， 帶上我吧。好
Amy will be here shortly, expecting the perfect Valentine's gift, so... you're up kid.
艾米馬上就會到她在期待超贊的情人節(jié)禮物， 所以該你了丫頭
Dazzle me. Go. Okay, I think I have some really great choices.
盡請支招吧。我確實有幾個妙招
I went on Amy's Facebook page and read up on her interests.
我到艾米的Facebook主頁上了解了一下她的喜好
Now, see, I never would have thought to do that.
瞧吧， 我就絕對想不到這樣做
Clearly, I made a good choice farming this out to you
很明顯， 把此事交給你來辦真是太英明了
But I am telling you,Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot..
你得知道，艾米找到我做男朋友可真是中了頭獎
Anyway, my socks are on.
總之， 我腳上有襪子
Let's knock them off.
快快把它們嚇掉吧（knock socks off給人驚喜）
Well, um, I know she loves playing the harp, so I found this beautiful music box that plays one of her favorite songs.
我知道她喜歡彈豎琴所以我找到了這個精致的音樂盒彈奏的是她最喜歡的曲子
Now, Amy already has a real harp.
可是艾米已經(jīng)有真正的豎琴了
And it can play any song.
那玩意可以彈任何曲子
What are you trying to pull here?
這一招的高明之處在哪
No, I just thought it would be... Next. Okay.
不， 我只是覺得這個， 下一個。好吧
Um, I know she's a fan of The Canterbury Tales, so I found... this cool map that illustrates the characters' journey through England.
我知道她很喜歡《坎特伯雷故事集》（英國詩人喬叟的著名詩體短篇小說集）所以我找到了這張很酷的地圖，上面標明了書中人物在英國的旅行路線
I thought we could put it in a really nice frame.
我們可以選個漂亮的框子裱起來
But she's got Google Maps on her phone.
但她的手機里裝了谷歌地圖
I don't know how to respond to that.
我詞窮了
Well, I hope it's with a third good option, because these first two... blah. Okay.
我希望還有第三個不錯的選擇這前兩個也太遜了。好吧
Well, uh, luckily, I saved the best for last.
幸運的是， 我把最好的留在最后了
Since Amy's a neuroscientist, I did some research and found out that Santiago Ramony Cajal, the father of modern neuroscience, did lots of hand drawings of brain cells.
艾米是個神經(jīng)學家，我做了點調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn)圣地亞哥?拉蒙尼?卡哈爾現(xiàn)代神經(jīng)科學之父曾繪制過許多腦細胞的手繪圖
And I managed to find this signed print.
而我想辦法拿到了這幅有其簽名的版本
Oh, this is truly remarkable. Thank you.
這個可真了不起。謝謝
I think I'll keep it for myself.
我自己收下了
What about your girlfriend?
那你的女朋友呢
It's too late. I call dibs. This place is really beautiful. Wah... romance ninja. Sorry we're late.
太晚了， 我說了這個歸我了。這家餐廳真是不錯。浪漫忍者。抱歉遲到了
No problem. We just sat down.
沒關(guān)系， 我們剛坐下
Mmm, would you like some wine? Yeah, fill her up.
想來點紅酒嗎？好，給我倒上
I'll tell you when to stop.
叫你停再停
Is everything okay? Terrific. Couldn't be better. Oh, bite me.
一切都還好嗎？好極了， 沒法再好了。你奈我何
Look, we can still have a nice night.
我們今晚還是可以開開心心的
Just tell me where it is.
告訴我在哪就行了
Maybe if you did what you said you were going to do, I'd tell you.
你要是能說到做到， 我就會告訴你了
Uh, where what is?
什么東西在哪
She hid my XBOX like I'm a child.
她像對付小孩一樣， 把我的游戲機藏起來了
Yeah, and my mom got me that for my birthday, so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.
那可是我媽媽給我的生日禮物你要是不還給我， 我就告狀去
I've been working late every night.
我每天都工作到很晚
All I asked was that he clean the apartment and do one load of laundry.
我只不過是要求他，把家里收拾干凈， 洗一次衣服
But did he do it? No.
但他做了嗎， 沒有
He just kept on playing that stupid game.
他就那么心安理得地玩那蠢游戲
You like pushing buttons so much, try pushing them on the washing machine.
你這么喜歡按按鈕，干嘛不按按洗衣機的按鈕
I said I'm sorry. Sorry doesn't clean my underpants, buddy.
我道過歉了。道歉可洗不了我的內(nèi)褲， 哥們
I told you, turn them inside out.
我跟你說過了， 翻過來穿就行了
And I told you to bite me.
然后我說我不愿意你奈我何
Trying to have a magical night here, guys.
我們還想度過美好時光呢
Oh, son of a bitch. What?
見鬼， 怎么了
Nothing. Nothing. No, tell me.
沒什么。說嘛
It's just this guy I used to date.
那是我的前男友
Until he cheated on me with my friend Gretchen, who's here with him now.
后來他背著我和我的朋友格雷琴偷腥也就是和他在一起那女的
You're kidding. And it looks like she lost a lot of weight, damn it.
不是吧。她好像瘦了不少， 可惡
I know it's not ideal, but don't let them ruin our night.
我知道他們的出現(xiàn)讓你不開心，但沒必要讓他們毀了我們的夜晚
No, you're totally right.
對， 你說得對
She could be skinny 'cause she's dying. That's the spirit.
她可能是因為快死了所以這么瘦。這么想就對了
You know what, screw them.
管他們的呢
Our night is going to be way more special than theirs. Yeah. What?
我們的夜晚會比他們的難忘許多，對，怎么了
Oh, you got to be kidding me. Oh, my God, yes.
逗姐玩呢是吧。天啊， 我愿意
Of course I'll marry you. Two can play this game. Penny... Get up. All right.
我愿意嫁給你，誰說我們不行了。佩妮， 給我起來。好
It's nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine's Day can come here tonight and be together.
所有在情人節(jié)沒有伴侶的單身人士能來這里聚聚真好
Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.
是啊， 我很期待
In fact, there's no place I would rather be than here.
事實上， 我就想待在這里， 哪也不想去
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