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Actually, all I did was invite you.
其實, 我只是邀請了你而已
Well, put your mind at ease.
好了, 你就放寬心吧
I'm here to make sure your dinner party kicks Howard's dinner party's ass.
有我相助, 霍華德的晚宴一定會被你的晚宴打得落花流水
Now, the first thing we need is a theme.
現(xiàn)在我們首先需要確定一個主題
I'm thinking... ah, turnofthecentury Moulin Rouge.
我在想19到20世紀(jì)之交時期的紅磨坊
I'm thinking you need a testosterone patch.
我覺得你需要貼睪酮貼片增加雄性激素了
Penny and I just want to do something lowkey.
我和佩妮是想以低調(diào)為主
You know, cocktails,light jazz music, hors d'oeuvres.
就像雞尾酒輕柔的爵士樂, 開胃小吃
So your theme is "I saw a rerun of Mad Men and bought some crab puffs from Trader Joe's"?
所以你的主題是"我看了一集《廣告狂人》的重播然后從連鎖超市買來蟹肉酥"
Hate to miss that.Hey, where have you been? Oh, Leonard.
我可不想錯過。你去哪里了?萊納德
If I was prone to sarcasm,I'd say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets.
如果我要譏諷你的話我會說我剛在洗衣籃博物館里干了一票大劫案
One, two, three, four, five,six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
一, 二, 三, 四, 五六, 七, 八, 九, 十(憤怒控制)
I meant, "Golly, Sheldon, you've been gone a long time."
我是說, "天啊, 謝爾頓你剛?cè)チ擞袎蚓玫?quot;
Oh. Yeah, well, I was waylaid by Penny, Bernadette and Amy.
因為我被佩妮和伯納黛特還有艾米攔住問話了
They made me reveal confidential information about Howard's father.
她們讓我泄露霍華德父親的機(jī)密信息
What information? I can't tell you that.
什么信息?我不能告訴你們
I am bound by closet organizer/ organizee confidentiality.
我必須遵守衣櫥主人和整理者之間的保密協(xié)議
Well, come on, we won't tell anyone.
拜托啦, 我們不會告訴任何人的
Sorry, badgering me won't work.
抱歉, 糾纏我也沒用
What you should have said is, "It's pointless to keep this a secret because Penny will tell us."
你應(yīng)該這么說,"沒必要保守這個秘密因為佩妮會告訴我們的"
Fine, then that. All right, I'll tell you.
那我問佩妮, 好吧, 我告訴你們
My goodness, everyone's on their game today.This is really fun.
天啊, 今天每個人都很會找理由嘛。這真的很好玩
Yeah, it's nice to get dressed up once in a while.
是啊, 偶爾穿正裝也不錯
Yeah, and hors d'oeuvres are delightful.
對啊, 開胃小吃令人愉悅
As is the company.
就像我的女伴
My shirt is itchy and I wish I were dead.
我的衣服癢死了, 真希望死了算了
Hey, uh, listen, everybody.
大家, 聽著
Before Howard gets here, let's all just agree to not bring up the letter from his father.
在霍華德來之前, 我們統(tǒng)一口徑不要提起他父親的信
Of course. Sure. Absolutely.
好,知道。當(dāng)然不會。
If I say yes, can we turn off that Latin orgy music?
如果我也同意,能不能關(guān)掉那拉丁的放蕩音樂
Ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these flights of stairs.
我們還得走這么多層樓梯真是太荒謬了
Yeah, try doing it in heels.I am. Wait.
對啊, 尤其是穿著高跟鞋。我就穿著呢。慢著
There's something I have to tell you.What?
我有話要對你說。什么?
I know what was in your dad's letter.
我知道那封信的內(nèi)容了
Sheldon, I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you! I made him tell us.What? "Us"?
謝爾頓, 我發(fā)誓我一定要殺了你!是我逼他告訴我們的。"我們"
Who else knows? I know. Me, too.Same here.
誰還知道?我, 我也是。還有我
Shame on all of you. You know, too.
真為你們感到羞恥。你不也知道了嗎
Couldn't leave him with one friend, could you?
非得全軍覆沒, 就不能給他留一個朋友嗎
So everybody knows what's in that letter except for me?
所以除了我大家都知道那封信的內(nèi)容
Yes, it's six against one. Stand down, sir.
對, 現(xiàn)在是六對一。別輕舉妄動, 先生
How could you do this? I'm sorry.
你怎么能這樣呢?對不起。
If you want, we could tell you.
如果你想知道, 我們可以告訴你
No, I don't want to know!
不, 我不想知道
I mean,I do, but...I got to go. Used me as a human shield?
我是說我是想知道, 但...我要走了用我來當(dāng)人肉盾牌
I panicked. He looked taller than usual.
人家慌了嘛。他比平時看起來高大
Howard? In here.I'm sorry.
霍華德, 這里。對不起
I should have left it alone.It's okay.
我不應(yīng)該多事的。沒關(guān)系
Sorry I ran off like that.
抱歉我就這么走了
What are you looking at?
你在看什么
Uh, pictures of my dad and me when I was a kid.
我小時候跟爸爸的合照
That's nice. I got to tell you,
那很好啊, 不得不說
as angry as I am at Sheldon for blabbing,
雖然謝爾頓泄密讓我很生氣
he did a hell of a job organizing this closet.Look at this.
但他的確把這個衣櫥整理得很好。瞧瞧這個
"Photos of Wolowitz family before father left forever."
"父親永別前, 沃羅威茨一家照片"
Check out nineyearold Howie with cornrows.
瞧九歲時滿頭小辮子的華仔
Neither race was happy to see me with those.
無論黑人猶太人, 看了都會不爽
Think you could take a break? Why?
你想不想休息一下, 為什么
Got a little surprise for you.Come on.Oh, honey...
我有個驚喜要給你。來吧,親愛的
I am in no mood to have sex tonight.
我今晚沒心情做愛
I'll lay there if you absolutely have to have it, but...
如果你一定要做那我就勉強(qiáng)躺在下面好了
What are you guys doing here?
你們來這里干嘛
When you left, you weren't sure whether or not
你走時并沒有很明確表明
you wanted to know what was in your dad's letter,
自己是否想知道信上的內(nèi)容
so we came up with kind of a cool solution.
所以我們想出了一個很酷的解決辦法
Oh, yeah, what's that? It's simple, really.
是嗎, 是什么?很簡單
It occurred to me that knowing and not knowing
我突然意識到, 知道和不知道
can be achieved by creating a macroscopic example of quantum superposition.
可以通過創(chuàng)造量子力學(xué)疊加狀態(tài)的宏觀例子來完成
Thethe principle that a physical system exists partially in all its possible states at once.
原理是物理系統(tǒng)部分存在于所有可能狀態(tài)
We were all thinking it, really.
我們都是這樣想的, 真的
It was kind of the elephant in the room, so...
這就像房里的大象一樣(顯而易見)
Anyway, um, I realize if we each present you with an account of what your father wrote to you,
總之, 我意識到如果我們每人對你父親信件的內(nèi)容作出一番陳述
only one of which is true, and then we don't tell you which one it is,
但只有一個是真的我們不告訴你哪個是真的
you will forever be in a state of epistemic ambivalence.Yeah.
你會永遠(yuǎn)處于認(rèn)知的矛盾狀態(tài)中。對
And I said if it wasn't epistemic, we might as well not do it.
我說如果不是認(rèn)知的咱們就干脆別忙活了
Sit down, honey. Raj, you're up.Okay, um...
坐下, 親愛的。拉杰, 你先來。好的
It was a card for your 18th birthday.
那是一張慶祝你18歲的生日卡
Inside it said,"Happy birthday, Howard. I love you. Dad."
上面寫著"生日快樂, 霍華德。我愛你, 老爸"
Oh, and it was a Far Side card,the one where the frog has its tongue stuck to the underside of an airplane.
而且還是一張搞笑賀卡一只青蛙的舌頭粘在了飛機(jī)的下面
Thinks it's a fly.Silly frog. So funny. Sheldon.
它以為飛機(jī)是蒼蠅。白癡青蛙, 太搞笑了謝爾頓
It was a map leading to the lost treasure of famous pirate OneEyed Willy.Nice try.
那是一張藏寶圖, 可以找到著名海盜獨眼韋利傳說中的寶藏虧你想的到
That's the plot for Goonies. Told you. Don't.Amy.
這是《七寶奇謀》的情節(jié)早說了, 閉嘴,艾米
You didn't know it,but your father was in the auditorium at your high school graduation.
你并不知道,但你高中畢業(yè)時你父親在觀眾席上
And he cried because he was so proud of you.Really?
他哭了, 因為他為你驕傲。真的嗎?
Or that's complete poppycock which Amy made up.It still could be the map.Penny.
也有可能完全是艾米瞎編的廢話,藏寶圖才是真的。佩妮
It was a letter explaining that your dad wasn't who he said he was.
那封信是解釋你父親的真實身份
Eventually, his other life caught up to him,
當(dāng)時他另一個身份的麻煩找上了他
and the only way to keep you and your mom safe was to leave.
唯一保護(hù)你們母子安全的辦法就是他離開
I would like to change mine.
我想改變我的故事
The pirate's name was PegLeg Antoine.
海盜的名字其實叫假腿安托萬
Now it's completely different from Goonies.
現(xiàn)在和《七寶奇謀》就完全不同了
No, it's not. Don't.Okay, my turn.
沒什么區(qū)別, 閉嘴。到我了
Your dad wrote about how family is the most important thing,
你爸寫的是, 家庭是世界上最重要的
and that you should never throw it away like he did. Bernadette.
希望你不要像他那樣不懂珍惜。伯納黛特
Inside the envelope was a picture of your dad holding you the day you were born.
信封里有張照片拍的是你出生時你爸抱著你
On the back he wrote,"Howard, my son, my greatest gift."
照片背后他寫著"霍華德, 兒子, 你是我最好的禮物"
You okay? Yeah. I'm terrific.So...? Which one do you think it is...matey?
你還好嗎?沒事。好得不得了。那么你覺得哪一個是真的好兄弟(海盜用語)
Actually, I don't want to know. I...want all of them to be true.
事實上, 我不想知道我希望這些全是真的
Well, one of them is. That's pretty cool. Thank you, guys.Hey, it's still early.
有一個是真的,那非常好!謝謝各位。時間還早
Why don't we go back and have that party? Yeah, cool.
不如回去繼續(xù)開派對吧?好的
You know, surprisingly,uh, the letter from your father wasn't the most interesting thing I read in the closet.
出人意料的是你父親的信并不是我在衣櫥里看到的最有意思的東西
Bernadette's diary has some saucy passages.
伯納黛特日記的內(nèi)容相當(dāng)有料啊
Sheldon, don't you dare!
謝爾頓, 你敢
ThThere's nothing to worry about.
不用擔(dān)心
Your secret's safe with me.
我不會泄露你的秘密
That's more like it.
這還差不多
Although copyright law would allow me to quote snippets in the context of a review.
不過版權(quán)法允許我在回憶時引用其中的片段
Glad you're feeling better. Me, too.
我很開心你心情好些了。我也是
If I'd known we were gonna be dancing, would have worn my flats.
如果我知道我們要跳舞就穿平底鞋來了
This turned out pretty well, huh? Yeah, I think so. I agree.
派對真不錯?。课乙策@樣想。我同意
That is, if you've never been to or heard of a party before.
前提是從未參加或聽說過派對
If you'd let me pierce your brain with a hot needle in the right place, you'd be happy all the time.
如果你讓我在你腦袋上正確的位置用根滾燙的針刺一下, 你就會永遠(yuǎn)開心了
Uh, Penny, II have a couple of questions about your closet.
佩妮,關(guān)于你的衣櫥, 我有幾個問題
Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish?
你保留這只死魚是有原因的嗎
Damn, I forgot to feed him.And that I had him.
見鬼, 我忘記喂食了也忘記我養(yǎng)了魚
Well, now, did you also have a dog?
你還養(yǎng)了狗嗎
Because I found what appears to be a batteryoperated chew toy.Party's over! Party's over!
我找到了一個電池驅(qū)動的咬咬玩具。派對結(jié)束, 派對結(jié)束