生活大爆炸第七季:第2集:萊納德與謝耳朵友情面臨危機(上)
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And here's another interesting weather fact. Another? Great!
再告訴你一個關(guān)于天氣的趣聞，還有啊?真開心！
Changes in jet streams can affect the speed at which the Earth rotates on its axis, so bad weather can actually make the day longer.
大氣層中急流的變化可以影響到地球自轉(zhuǎn)的速度，因此惡劣天氣其實會延長一天的時間
Well, there must be a hell of a storm somewhere.
那外面某處一定正在狂風(fēng)暴雨，今天顯得好長
Joke if you must, but you're going to miss these moments.
隨你吐槽吧，但是你會想念這些日子的
With Leonard home in a few days, this was your last time driving me to the grocery store.
萊納德過幾天就回家了，今天會是你最后一次載我去雜貨店了
You know, I will miss this.
你知道嗎，我一定會想念的
I'll tell you what, if my apples are mealy, we'll hit the produce section for one last crazy blowout.
這樣吧，如果我買的蘋果口感太粉，我們還可以再去最后瘋狂購物一次
Heck, you can even push the cart.
而且，這次可以讓你推購物車
Please don't take my looking forward to Leonard's return, as criticism of the job you've been doing in his absence.
別誤會，我固然期待萊納德的凱旋，但是這并不是批評，你近來替他載我的表現(xiàn)
I won't. That criticism will come later in your report card.
不會的，對你的批評，會在之后的評估報告里
Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention, I'm not gonna read the report card.
課后罰我留堂我都溜了，我才不讀你的評估報告
Hello. Leonard! Shh, shh. Hi! Keep your voice down. Oh, my God.
嗨，萊納德!噓噓噓，嗨，小點聲，我滴天的
You weren't supposed to be here till Sunday! We finished the experiment early, so I thought I'd come home and surprise you.
你不是禮拜天才回么!我們提前完成了實驗，然后我決定提前回家來給你個驚喜
Oh, my gosh, why are we whispering?
我的天啊，我們干嘛這么小聲?
I didn't tell Sheldon, so we could have a few days alone.
我沒告訴謝爾頓我回來了，這樣我可以單獨跟你相處幾天
Oh, that is so romantic.
真浪漫
Uh, sure, that's why I did it.
額，沒錯，哥就是很浪漫!
Oh... I just cannot believe you're here.
哦，我真不敢相信你回來了
Penny, it's your lucky day!
佩妮你賺到了!
Three of the eggs are clearly not jumbo.
有三個蛋顯然不是大號的
Grab your keys.
拿你車鑰匙我們走!
Uh, Stuart, I was wondering Stuart if you could help me find something.
斯圖爾特，我在想，你能不能幫我推薦點東西
Happy to, unless it's hope or a reason to live.
行，只要不是希望或者活著的理由就行
Oh, you make me laugh, sad clown.
噢，你真逗，可憐的娃
Anyhoo... Leonard will be back in a couple days and I need a welcome-home gift for him.
說正經(jīng)的，萊納德過幾天就回來了，我準(zhǔn)備給他準(zhǔn)備一個歡迎禮物
As he's been at sea, perhaps something with a nautical theme might be appropriate.
他出海去了，所以我覺得與海洋相關(guān)的東西不錯
Okay, well, I don't know how much you want to spend, but I do have this pretty cool Aquaman statue.
好的，不知道你準(zhǔn)備花多少錢，不過我有一個很不錯的潛水俠的雕像
Aquaman? Oh, this isn't a gag gift, Stuart.
潛水俠? 哦，斯圖爾特，我不是準(zhǔn)備送個惡作劇禮物。
Yeah, just as well. It's a pretty rare piece. I'd rather just sell it to a real collector.
好吧，無妨，這個是珍藏版，我應(yīng)該把他賣給一個真正的收藏者
I'm a real collector.
我就是個真正的收藏者
How rare is it?
這玩意兒有多稀罕?
Oh, I shouldn't even have mentioned it.
哎喲，我壓根不該把這個拿出來
How about a Batman squirt gun?
你看這個蝙蝠俠水槍怎么樣?
Don't try and trick me into buying something I don't want.
別想哄騙我，買我不想買的東西
Now let's talk about Aquaman.
還是回來說潛水俠
What were they thinking, putting Doctor Octopus's mind in Spider-Man's body?
怎么想的，居然把章魚博士的思想放到蜘蛛俠的身體里?
Well, I've been quite enjoying that.
我可喜歡這段了
It combines all the superhero fun of Spider-Man with all the body-switching shenanigans of Freaky Friday.
這把《蜘蛛俠》的英雄趣味，《辣媽辣妹》互換身體的惡趣味有機的結(jié)合在一起
Both versions: original and Lohan.
《辣媽辣妹》的76年原版和羅翰出演的版本
"Both versions: original and Lohan." You're an idiot.
76年原版和羅翰出演的版本。你個蠢貨
Hey, what's your problem?
嘿，你腫么了?
I'm sorry, I've been kind of snippy lately.
對不起，我最近有些暴躁
It's probably this stupid diet I'm on.
應(yīng)該是我在節(jié)食引起的
Why are you on a diet?
你干嘛要節(jié)食?
I've put on a couple pounds.
我長胖了
Had to buy these pants in the men's section.
我得去買成年男士的褲子來穿了
Well, we've all seen your mom.
哎喲，我們都見過你娘
That Butterball turkey was bound to come home to roost.
基因遺傳，你注定最終也會...
$1,200! That's my final offer!
一千二!不能再高了!
All right, Sheldon, you win.
好吧謝爾頓，算你走運
I'm sure Leonard is gonna love this.
萊納德一定會很喜歡的
Oh, right, a present for Leonard.
哦對了，還要給萊納德買個禮物
You better throw in that squirt gun.
那你把那把水槍附送給我吧
Yeah, I don't know.
這個嘛，不行呢
This squirt gun, it's, uh, it's pretty rare. Ooh.
這把水槍也很罕見的。噢!
And this is me doing the Titanic pose on the boat. Ah. And... oh.
這是我在船上做泰坦尼克的的動作。哦。還有，噢
That's me getting rescued after I fell in.
這是我做完動作掉水里后，被救起來
Oh. Oh, that's the pizza. Yep.
哦，噢，應(yīng)該是比薩來了。哦也
Here's some money. Thank you.
錢給你，謝啦
And I'm gonna hit the head.
我要去方個便
That's what us salty sea dogs say when we have to go pee-pee.
我們這些老水手要尿尿就這么說
Hey. $22.50. Okay, here's, uh, $25. Keep the change. Seriously?
嘿，二十二塊五。這是二十五塊，甭找了。就這么點?
I just walked up, like, four flights of stairs.
我可是辛辛苦苦爬四樓上來的
Oh. Okay. Well, here's, um...
這樣啊，好吧，那再給你
30-something cents and a promise I won't call your boss and tell him you reek of marijuana.
3毛火星幣外加我保證不打電話告訴你老板，你渾身一股大麻味道
Oh, Penny, I see you've ordered pizza.
喲，佩妮，看你買了比薩
I have Chinese food. That's nice.
我買了中餐。挺好呀
Oh, that's a rather earthy cologne.
哇，這個古龍水聞起來很粗獷啊
My uncle used to wear that.
我叔叔原來也是用那個味道
Perhaps we can enjoy one last meal together before Leonard returns.
萊納德回來前，一起吃個最后的晚餐吧
Yeah, thanks, but I kind of feel like eating alone tonight, so... Are you sure?
這個，承蒙好意，但是我今天想自個兒吃。你確定?
With your Italian pizza and my Chinese noodles, we could play Marco Polo.
你的意式比薩和我的中式面條，我們可以扮演馬可·波羅
I mean, of course, a reenactment of a meal in the life of Marco Polo the Venetian explorer, not Marco Polo the terrifying water sport.
我說的是一頓飯局，重演那位威尼斯探險家在中國的經(jīng)歷，而不是說那種駭人的水球運動
Uh, yeah, it sounds fun, but no thanks.
聽上去是挺有趣的，不過還是算了吧
Have a good night!
晚安
What, now... do you have company? No. No, no, no.
誒?你有客人嗎?沒沒沒
You know what? Th-The toilet's been doing that.
你知道嗎?那個馬桶老自己沖
I called the building manager, so... Oh, I can take a look at it. Well... I'm quite familiar with plumbing.
我給物業(yè)打了電話的，這樣啊，我來幫你看一看，我可是疏通管道的專家
Not to brag, but I spent most of fifth grade with my head in a toilet.
這可不是吹的，我五年級長期被人把頭塞在馬桶里。
Yeah, no, no, no. You know what, Sheldon, it's okay.
別別別，謝爾頓，沒關(guān)系的
You don't have to go into the bathroom.
你不用去廁所
That's curious.
奇了怪了
If there's no one here, why are there two glasses of wine on the table?
要是沒客人，你怎么桌上放倆杯子呢?
Oh. Well, you know, I-I've got two hands and a bit of a drinking problems.
哦，因為，因為，我有兩只手啊，而且你也知道我有點嗜酒，
Of course. Asked a silly question. Oh.
當(dāng)然了，問題真蠢。額
That's odd. Um, what?
奇了怪了，神馬?
There are takeout containers in the trash can.
你這垃圾筒里，有外賣飯盒
So? That's my dinner from last night.
怎么了，我昨天晚上吃的
What's odd is they're in the trash can.
奇怪的是，你還會把垃圾丟桶里?
Okay. I promise there's no one's here. I've had a long day. I just want to have a quiet dinner by myself.
好吧，我保證沒人在這兒，我今天比較煩，我就想自己安靜的吃個晚飯
Oh, very well. I'm no stranger to enjoying the pleasures of solitude.
那好吧。我也很喜歡自己一人
Oh! What? Have you gotten Leonard a welcome-home gift yet? No.
對了!又咋了?你給萊納德買了歡迎禮物嗎?沒，
Oh, great. Do you want to go halfsies on a $200 squirt gun?
太好了，你想不想跟我平攤 一個200塊的水槍?
Hi, honey. Hey. I made some brownies. You want one?
嗨，寶貝兒，好呀，我做了些布朗尼蛋糕，來一塊?
You're kidding, right?
你在開玩笑，對吧?
I mean, you know I'm trying to lose weight.
你知道我最近在減肥
God, I thought we were partners in this marriage.
我以為我們是一條心呢
We are. Stop it. And for the last time, you're not fat.
我們是呀，別鬧了，我最后說一次，你一點都不胖啊
Really? Tell that to the bathroom scale, 'cause one of you is lying.
真的?你去看看我體重秤的數(shù)字，要不你錯，要不秤錯
Fine, forget I asked.
算了，當(dāng)我沒問
How was dinner at your mom's? Awful.
和你媽媽飯吃得怎么樣?爛透了
I had to rub her ointment all over her again.
我又得給她全身擦藥膏
Why can't she do it?
為什么她自己不能擦?
'Cause we've got a deeply unhealthy relationship.
因為我和我媽有著很不健康的關(guān)系
Which reminds me, do you think you can get any samples of this from work?
這倒提醒我了，你能從實驗室?guī)c這些樣品來不?
This was supposed to last her a month, but they didn't take into account the square footage of her back.
本來能撐一個月的，當(dāng)他們顯然沒考慮到她的虎背熊腰
Let me see. How long have you been putting this on her?
我看看，你給她涂多久的藥膏了?
I don't know. Few weeks. Why?
不記得了，幾周吧，怎么了?
This is really strong estrogen cream.
這是很強效的雌激素藥膏
Please tell me you've been wearing gloves.
別告訴我，你沒戴手套
Like these swollen sausages could fit in gloves.
我的香腸肥手指，還能塞進手套嗎
Howie, the estrogen's getting absorbed by your skin.
豪伊，雌激素會通過皮膚被吸收的
That's why you've been all bloated and moody and a giant pain in the ass.
這是為什么你最近有點發(fā)胖，有點不開心，而且非常惹人厭
You're full of estrogen and you don't act like that.
你全是雌性激素，你并不這樣呀
That's 'cause I'm a woman.
因為我是女人
I've had years of practice riding the dragon.
我有好多年來練習(xí)征服雌激素啊。
Fine. I'll wear gloves next time.
好吧。下次我戴手套
It's still gonna take a few weeks for the hormones to leave your system.
還是需要幾周，雌激素才會降下來
I feel so stupid. And fat.
我真是太蠢了，還這么肥
It's okay. You still look great to me.
沒事，你在我眼里還是很帥
In fact, why don't we go in the bedroom and I'll prove it to you?
不如我們進臥室，我親自證明給你看?
Sex? Really? I mean, that's just your solution to everything!
做愛?你真這么想?什么問題你都用做愛來解決!
Oh, and here's a fun thing.
跟你說個好玩的
I worked it out so that there are two different words for spoon:
我發(fā)明了兩個詞可以表示"匙子"
"planko" and "janko".
"陽匙"和"陰匙"
"Planko" is a spoon with food,
"陽匙"指盛了食物的匙子
"Janko" is a spoon without food.
"陰匙"是沒有食物的匙子
"Janko" is spelled with a silent "ptang".
同時"陰匙"里面暗藏了陰道的"陰"字
Sheldon, you're not even listening to the rules of my made-up language. Yes, I am.
謝爾頓你都沒在聽我自創(chuàng)語言的規(guī)則，我在聽呀
Then what does "tweepadock" mean? Uh... elephant? Lucky guess.
那"tweepadock"什么意思?這個嘛...大象?算你走運，
I'm sorry. I'm just distracted by something that happened over at Penny's.
對不起啦，我因為佩妮的事有點分心
What happened?
什么事?
I fear Penny is being unfaithful to Leonard. What?
我擔(dān)心佩妮會給萊納德戴綠帽。你說什么?
She claimed to be alone when there was obviously someone else in her apartment.
她聲稱自己一個人，但她屋里顯然還藏著個人
I have no choice but to assume the worst, given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage and her famously ravenous nether regions.
我只能往最壞了猜，畢竟萊納德長期遠(yuǎn)航，而她又是出了名的饑渴
I don't think Penny would cheat on Leonard.
我不覺得佩妮會劈腿
Oh, really? She and I once had a staring contest.
真的嗎?我們有次玩了個瞪眼比賽
She clapped really loud and made me blink.
她大聲拍手害我眨眼
It's a small leap from there to sexual infidelity.
這離感情的背信棄義就差一小步了
You're being ridiculous.
這太荒唐了
Amy, there were Chinese food containers... in the trash can. Poor Leonard.
艾米，我看到中餐飯盒竟然在她垃圾桶里。可憐的萊納德
Do you hear anything?
聽到什么聲音不?
I hear a woman's voice.
女人的聲音
Is it Penny?
佩妮的聲音?
No, it's you.
你的聲音
All right, I hear whispering and giggling.
好了，我聽到竊竊私語和偷笑了
Now I think I hear kissing.
這下我聽到接吻了
Yeah, like you know what kissing sounds like.
就跟你知道接吻是什么聲音似的
There's kissing in Star Trek, smarty-pants.
《星際迷航》里有接吻好么，自作聰明
Let me listen.
讓我聽聽
Sounds like Leonard. Please.
好像是萊納德的聲音。拜托
Why would Leonard come home early and waste his time kissing Penny
萊納德怎么會提前回來，在這浪費時間親佩妮
when he could be hanging out with his best buddy?
而不和他最好的兄弟一起玩呢?
Yeah, that's it.
就這么著
I'm catching her in the act.
我要捉奸在床
No, Sheldon, don't.
別別，謝爾頓別
Aha! What the hell?! Leonard?
啊哈!什么情況?!萊納德是你?
Sheldon, you cannot just barge in here like that! Right.
謝爾頓，你不能就這么闖進來啊!你說得對
Penny! Penny! Penny! Are you going to answer the door or should I open it and say "aha" again?
佩小花!佩小花!佩小花!你是來開門呢,還是我自己進來再喊一次"啊哈"?
