But my neighbor had a dead tooth, so... that wasn't going to happen.
Yes. Oh, for example, three years ago when I discovered Penny was eating all my PopTarts, instead of getting angry or vindictive, you know, I got a floor safe.
I knew I could smell 'em.
Oh, certainly. Uh, when I was eight years old, Billy Sparks cornered me in the playground.
I asked myself, "What would Spock do?" Then I grabbed Billy on his shoulder and performed my first Vulcan nerve pinch.
Did it work? Oh, no he broke my collarbone. I can still hear it click.
That must have been very upsetting for you.
Oh, not at all. As I said, the entire point of emulating Spock was to rise above human emotion, which I've spent a lifetime mastering.
Excuse me? I'm sorry. I'm not here.
No. You went . What does mean? You did go.
All right, fine. Well, Sheldon, I'm no expert, but aren't you completely missing the point of Spock?
I mean, he liked to act like he had no emotions, but he was still half human. Just like you.
I'm just saying, you pretend you don't, but you have feelings just like everybody else.
Not true. No, look at me. I had an engagement ring to give a girl, and instead, she rejected me.
And am I emotional about that? No. No, I am sitting here on a couch, talking about my favorite TV character like nothing happened.
我有對此情緒激動嗎,沒有,相反我坐在沙發(fā)上若無其事般地談?wù)撐易類鄣碾娨暯巧?/div>
'Cause I am just like him: all logical, all the time.
因為我跟他一模一樣,由始至終保持理智
Sweetie, you're yelling.
親愛的,你已經(jīng)開始嚷嚷了
Because when I speak at a regular volume, no one seems to believe me that I've put this Amy nonsense behind me!
因為當(dāng)我用正常音量講話時都沒人相信,我已經(jīng)把艾米的這破事拋諸腦后了
This documentary is gonna be awesome.
這部紀(jì)錄片的精彩度絕對爆表
You gonna be okay down here? Yeah. Yeah,
你在下面沒事吧,沒事
I feel like an archaeologist. Indiana Jones and the SingleFamily Dwelling.
我覺得自己好像考古學(xué)家,印第安納·瓊斯之單戶家庭房歷險
Hey. Look! Found a seashell.
看,我找到一個貝殼
Yeah, that's a rat skull. Relax.
那是死老鼠的頭蓋骨,別緊張
There's enough droppings down here without you making more.
這里動物屎尿夠多了,你別再給我們增加
Sorry. Do you have a... sense of where we are?
抱歉,你知道我們現(xiàn)在大概到哪里了嗎
Yeah. I think that's the den.
知道,我想那里應(yīng)該是小室吧
Okay, so we must be under the dining room.
好,我們應(yīng)該是在餐廳下面了
Yep. You know, I know you don't want to hear this, but it wouldn't take that much work to turn that den into a nursery.
沒錯,我知道你不想聽到這個,但如果把那個小室改造成嬰兒室花不了什么功夫
Why wouldn't I want to hear it?
我為什么不想聽到這個呀
'Cause Bernie said you didn't want kids.
因為妮妮說你不想要孩子
That's not true at all. I-I wish she'd get pregnant, believe me. I'm climbing on top of her every chance I get. In a... loving and respectful manner.
完全不是,我非常希望她懷孕,相信我,我一有機會就往她身上爬,當(dāng)然是以一種充滿愛與恭敬的方式
The point is, I really do want kids. I don't know why she's lying to you. She's the one who doesn't want kids.
重點是我真的很想要孩子,我不知道她為什么要騙你,她才是不想要孩子的那個
In fact, every time I bring up the subject...
事實上,每次我提到這事
Earthquake! Oh, my God, we're gonna die! Aftershock...!
地震來了,我的天,我們死定了,余震來了
I can't believe Sheldon was gonna ask Amy to marry him. I know.
我不敢相信謝爾頓本來打算向艾米求婚,我知道
I also can't believe he watched what we did on that couch and still sits on it. Yeah.
我更不敢相信他目睹了我們在沙發(fā)上"做"的事還敢坐在上面,是呀
Hello. Hey, buddy. How you doing? Better.
你們好,老兄,你還好嗎?好多了
Did Wil and Adam leave? Yeah.
威爾和亞當(dāng)走了嗎,走了
Do you think they're going to put my outburst in the documentary? Definitely. Oh, yeah.
你覺得他們會在片里留下我暴怒的片段嗎,肯定了,絕對的
Well, there's no point in dwelling on it. As the Vulcans say, "Kupfuntor ha'kiv na'ish du stau."
我也不需要糾結(jié)這事,借用一句瓦肯人的俗語 "人已殺,你無力還命"(瓦肯語)
Do you know what that means? No. Are you telling the truth? Nirsh.
你懂他的意思嗎,不懂,你說的是實話嗎,非也(瓦肯語)
Well, this is ridiculous.
這一切都太荒唐了
Being upset about Amy all the time isn't accomplishing anything.
總是為艾米的事傷心不能解決任何問題
If I want to resolve this situation, then I need to take action.
如果我想解決這件事,我就要行動起來
What are you gonna do?
你要干什么
I'm going to find her and ask her to marry me. And if she says yes, we can put this behind us and resume our relationship.
我要去找她,向她求婚,如果她答應(yīng)了,我們就把這事徹底忘掉,重新開始我們的關(guān)系
And if she says no... well, then she can just ponfo miran.
如果她不肯答應(yīng),那她就可以去自盡了(瓦肯語)
He didn't meant that. So I should probably explain why I kind of fibbed.
他不是真心的,也許我該解釋下我為什么撒了個小謊
That would be nice. I told my dad that you were the one who didn't want kids because I didn't want to disappoint him.
那想必是極好的,我告訴我爸你不想要孩子,是因為我不想讓他失望
But you were okay throwing me under the bus?
讓我當(dāng)替死鬼,你就忍心嗎
Turns out yeah, I didn't think twice about it.
事實證明,我對此毫不猶豫
Bernie, you don't need to worry about me. But I don't want to see you miss out.
妮妮,你不用擔(dān)心我,但是我不想看你錯過這一切
Raising children was the most rewarding experience of my life.
養(yǎng)育孩子是我人生中最獲益匪淺的體驗
Oh, please. Mom did everything.
得了吧,啥都是我媽干的
All you did was come home from work, sit on the couch and drink beer. How is that raising kids?
你只不過是每天下班回家坐在沙發(fā)上喝啤酒,這算哪門子養(yǎng)育孩子
This is really a conversation for husband and wife. I'm gonna go clean up, hit the road.
這話題看來只適合夫妻倆談,我這個外人還是洗洗回家吧
If your mother asks, I was here till 10:00.
如果你媽問起,我晚上10點才離開這里
It's interesting your father didn't help around the house and Howard doesn't help, either,
真有趣,你爸爸不太做家務(wù),霍華德也不愛做家務(wù)
so... in a way, Howard's not only like your father, but he's also like the child that you're afraid to have.
所以從某種程度來說,霍華德不光是像你爸爸,他還像是你不敢生的孩子一樣
Why are you still here?
你怎么還不滾啊
Fine, I'll leave. But it sounds like somebody needs a fresh diaper.
好吧,我走了,不過某人好像需要換尿布啦
All right... I admit... that I don't help out a lot. And I need to work on that.
好吧,我承認(rèn),我的確不怎么幫忙干家務(wù),我需要改進這一點
But...if we had a kid, it would be different.
但是如果我們有了孩子,一切都會不一樣
Why? Because...when my dad left, I promised myself that...if I ever had a chance to be a father...I'd always be there.
為什么,因為當(dāng)我爸離開時,我對自己保證說,如果我有機會做爸,我一定陪在孩子身邊
Okay, I'll think about it.
好吧,我會考慮的
And this an actual "I'll think about it," not like the "Can we get a motorcycle with a sidecar I'll think about it"?
你這是認(rèn)真考慮,而不是像"我們能買輛帶跨斗的摩托車嗎"那樣的"考慮一下"吧
It's an actual "I'll think about it."
我是真的會認(rèn)真考慮的
I really believe I'd be a great dad. I know you would.
我相信我會成為一位好爸爸,我也相信你會
Speaking of...making babies, what do you say I wash up and poke around your crawlspace?
既然說到生寶寶,不如我馬上洗漱一下,然后戳戳你的小通道好不好啊
Dr. Dana feels he isn't that dangerous.
達(dá)娜醫(yī)生覺得他沒有那么危險
What makes you right and a trained psychiatrist wrong?
我憑什么相信你而不相信一位醫(yī)生的話
Because she feels. I don't. All I know is logic.
因為她有情感,而我沒有,我只按邏輯做事
Yeah, right. You can just shut your feelings off.
切,鬼才相信,你能就這樣把情感大門關(guān)上
There goes television, lying to us again.
電視又一次欺騙了我們
We let you raise our children, and this is the thanks we get.
我們讓你養(yǎng)育我們的孩子,結(jié)果你就這樣報答我們
Leonard, how could I have been so foolish to try and follow in the footsteps of a madeup alien race with no emotions?
萊納德,我怎么能這么蠢,試圖去追隨一個虛構(gòu)的沒有情感的外星人種族的腳步
Well...now instead of idolizing fictional characters, you can focus on the real people who are already in your life.
除了崇拜科幻人物,你還可以把注意力放在身邊的真實人物上啊
Those are very wise words. Thank you.
好一句至理名言,謝謝
They'd just be so much more comforting if they came out of a television.