第九季:第23集 謝爾頓花錢買服務(wù)引發(fā)的風(fēng)波(上)
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Helium. Yes. Taylor Swift. Yes. π. Yes. Kardashian. More specific. Khloe? Yes!
氦，沒錯，泰勒·斯威夫特，沒錯，Pi，對，卡戴珊，哪一個，科勒（社交名媛金·卡戴珊的妹妹），對了
See, I remembered because if it looks like Kim it's Kim, if it looks kind of like Kim it's Kourtney, and if it looks nothing like Kim it's Khloe.
我能記得是因為，長得像金就是金·卡戴珊，如果長得有點像金，那就是葛妮，如果長得完全不像金，那就是科勒
Oh, that's a Venn Diagram, and I remember because I thought to myself, "Venn is he gonna stop talking about this diagram?
這是維恩圖解，我能記得是因為我當(dāng)時想，"這叫維恩的家伙，什么時候能不說這圖了"
What are you guys doing?
你們倆在干嘛
Oh, well, we decided to use our breakfast time to expand our respective knowledge bases.
我們決定用我們早餐時間來擴(kuò)大我們各自的知識儲備
Oh, let me try. Hmm, atom of hydrogen, Adam of Maroon 5, mic drop.
讓我試試，氫原子與魔力紅的主唱亞當(dāng)（兩者音似）扔麥霸氣退場
I'm sorry, who is Mike Drop?
抱歉，誰是扔麥霸氣退場
Oh, hey, Penny, do you want to go to the airport with me later to pick up my mother?
佩妮，你晚點想跟我一起，去機(jī)場接我媽嗎
Sure. Thanks. No problem. Hey, Penny, um, since you're already gonna be at the airport, do I need to go?
好啊，謝謝，小事，佩妮，既然你都要去機(jī)場了，我還有去的必要嗎
Why don't you want to get your mother from the airport?
你為什么不想去機(jī)場接你媽媽
Well, I can do without the 40minute car ride where she criticizes every aspect of my life.
因為我的人生不需要增加一段對我人生長達(dá)40分鐘的全方位嘲諷
She can cover it in a car ride? I could do 40 minutes on your posture alone.
她一趟車程就能全說完了嗎，光是你的姿勢我就能說40分鐘呢
You really want me to pick up your mother all by myself?
你真的想要我一個人去接你媽嗎
Hmm, I just feel like it would be a good chance for you to bond.
我只是覺得這是你們倆增進(jìn)感情的好機(jī)會
Or a way for you to avoid her?
或是你避開她的好機(jī)會嗎
I don't know what he's putting on those cards, but you are smarter than ever.
我不知道他的卡上都寫了什么，但你機(jī)智程度破了你人生記錄啊
Fine, if you really want me to, I will pick your mom up. Seriously?
如果真想我去，那我就去接你媽媽吧，真的嗎
Yeah, you know what, she is my mother-in-law, and I'd like for us to have a good relationship.
對啊，畢竟她也是我婆婆，我也想我們能好好相處
That is very mature of you, so I'm gonna go ahead and say, "Suckah."
你這行為好成熟，所以我決定告訴你，"傻逼"
All right, back to learning. Okay. Oh, easy, Bill Nye the Science Guy. Or as I know him..."Creepy old dude from Dancing with the Stars."
繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)，好的，簡單，《比爾教科學(xué)》的主持人比爾，我印象中的他是..."《與星共舞》里的怪老頭"
Did you guys see there's an Avengers screening?
你們知道最近有場《復(fù)仇者聯(lián)盟》的放映嗎
Joss Whedon's gonna show some deleted scenes and do a question and answer session.
這戲的導(dǎo)演會放出刪減的片段，還會有一個問與答的環(huán)節(jié)
Oh, well, I have a few questions for him about the last Avengers movie...and a whole lot of answers.
我對于上一部《復(fù)仇者聯(lián)盟》電影有幾個問題想問他，還有一大堆吐槽答案
When's the screening? Uh, it's tonight, but it's firstcome, firstserved, so we should probably get there early and wait in line.
活動是什么時候，今晚，但是誰先來誰有座，所以我們應(yīng)該提早去排隊
Let's do it. Penny's busy with my mother, so I'm in.
咱們?nèi)グ?，佩妮得忙著陪我媽媽，我也?/div>
Oh, bad news. Amy's making me go shopping with her later, so looks like none of us can go.
有個壞消息，艾米叫我晚點陪她去逛街所以大家都別想去了
You do realize we're allowed to have fun without you? In fact, that's usually the trick to it.
你知道你不在場時我們也有權(quán)享樂的吧，通常就是因為你不在才能享樂
What time do we need to get there? Uh, I'd say by 3:00.
我們幾點得到，我覺得3點吧
You're really going without me?
你們真的要拋下我去玩嗎
It's not a big deal. Go shopping with Amy, and we'll save a spot in line for you.
不是什么大事，去跟艾米逛街吧，到時候我們幫你占一個位置
You don't have the authority to save places in the line. If I do that, I'll be cutting.
你沒有權(quán)利在隊伍中幫人占位置，如果我這么做，那就是插隊了
People do it all the time.
大家都這樣啊
You know the golden rule of line etiquette:"No cuts, no buts, no coconuts."
你知道排隊的黃金條例，"插隊死全家"
If you really care that much, there are apps now that'll let you hire people to do stuff like errands and wait in lines.
如果你真這么在意，現(xiàn)在也有很多軟件可以讓你花錢請人代跑腿或者代排隊啊
People are actually waiting in lines as a job? Boy, makes me feel better about my life.
真有人的工作是排隊嗎，突然對自己的人生產(chǎn)生滿足感
Some of these guys make over $20 an hour.
他們其中有些人時薪超過20塊呢
And now I feel worse again.
現(xiàn)在我又悲傷感爆棚了
I'm not surprised Leonard chose to avoid picking me up. He's battled intimacy issues his whole life. Does he have difficulty maintaining erections?
我一點都不驚訝萊納德選擇逃避接機(jī)，他這輩子都在克服親密關(guān)系問題，他對于保持勃起狀態(tài)會有困難嗎
Didn't even make it out of the parking lot.
都還沒開出停車場呢
Uh, you know what, enough about Leonard. Let's talk about you.
萊納德的事說夠多了，來說說你的事吧
What would you like to do while you're here?
你這次來這里，有想做什么嗎
Dear, I'm a psychiatrist. You don't have to avoid having intimate conversations with me.
親愛的，我是個心理醫(yī)生，你不用逃避跟我談?wù)撍矫艿脑掝}
Well, I'd actually like for us to be close, but maybe we start with our favorite books and work our way up to my husband's sex organs.
其實我也想跟你變得親近，或許我們可以聊聊我們最喜歡的書，然后再慢慢聊到我丈夫的性器官
Very well. What's the last book you read?
沒問題，你最近讀的一本書是什么
Um, does Pottery Barn, Spring count?
家具店春季目錄算嗎
Penny, it's only natural to want your motherinlaw to like you, and I acknowledge I can be an intimidating person. So what can I do to make this process easier for you?
佩妮，想要自己的婆婆喜歡自己很正常，我承認(rèn)我有時過于強(qiáng)勢嚇人，我該怎么做才能讓你自在點呢
Uh, for starters, maybe you can not psychoanalyze everything I say?
比如說，你能不能不要跟我玩精神分析這一套
And how does it make you feel when I psychoanalyze everything you say? Uncomfortable.
那當(dāng)我精神分析你時，你有什么感覺呢，很不舒服
That was a joke, dear.
親愛的，我剛才在開玩笑
Oh. Sorry. Didn't know you made those.
抱歉，不知道你還會開玩笑
Hey, listen, what if we have a little mother-in-law-daughter-in-law dinner tonight?
不如我們今晚來個婆媳小聚餐吧
So just the two of us? Or I invite a few girlfriends, 'cause hearing you say "The two of us" just sent a chill right down my spine.
所以就咱倆嗎，或許我再叫上倆閨蜜，因為聽到你說"就咱倆"時，我的后脊一陣發(fā)涼
What are you doing here? You're not Sheldon.
你上車干嘛，你又不是謝爾頓
I thought that might come up. Sheldon hired me to go shopping with you.
我早料到你可能會這么說，謝爾頓花錢雇我，讓我跟你去逛街
Hold on. He paid you to get out of spending time with me?
慢著，他給你錢，好不用跟我一起待著是嗎
No, it's not like that. There's a long line he'd rather stand in.
不，不是那樣的，是他寧可去排一條長長的隊
So what are we doing? Old Navy, Build A Bear?
我們要做什么，你想買衣服還是做玩具熊
I get paid either way.
反正做啥我都有錢拿
We're not going shopping together.
我才不會跟你去逛街
You sure? I'm happy to hold your bag. And Sheldon gave me money for a hotdog on a stick.
你確定嗎，我可是很樂意幫你拿包包哦，謝爾頓還給了我買熱狗棒的錢
Can you understand why I might be annoyed right now?
你能理解為什么我現(xiàn)在很火大嗎
Look, lady, I just work here.
女士，我今天才第一天上班
We've waited in a lot of lines together, haven't we?
我們一起排過很多次隊，對吧
Remember when we camped out for the Doctor Who panel at ComicCon?
還記得我們?yōu)榱寺埂渡衩夭┦俊返膭〗M在外露營了嗎
Yeah, sleeping under the stars with other fans who love the show as much as we do.
記得，露宿在星空下，跟一群像我們一樣熱愛這部劇的粉絲們
Waking up, wondering which one of those fans stole our wallets.
醒來后尋思，到底是哪個粉絲偷了我們的錢包
Stuart, what are you doing here?
斯?fàn)枅D特，你來這里干嘛
Sheldon, you are the most inconsiderate person I have ever met in my entire life!
謝爾頓，你是我這輩子見過最不顧及別人感受的人
Where do you get off sending me to shop with your girlfriend?!
你哪兒來的膽子，居然讓我去陪你女朋友逛街
I don't understand. You were happy to do this when I hired you. Whywhy are you upset with me now?
我糊涂了，之前給你錢時，你不是很樂意這么做嗎，為什么現(xiàn)在對我這么不爽
Oh, I'm not upset with you, but Amy's pretty bent out of shape, so she hired me to let you have it.
不是我對你不爽，但艾米現(xiàn)在超級不爽你，所以她花錢請我來罵你
Well, I suppose turnabout is fair play.
天道好輪回，蒼天饒過誰
You're darn right it's fair play, you selfish jerk!
你他媽說對了，你個自私的混蛋
You know, just when I think we're making progress in our relationship, we revert to our old patterns where thoughts and feelings go unexpressed.
正當(dāng)我覺得我們的關(guān)系取得進(jìn)展時，我們又恢復(fù)原狀，他有什么想法和情緒都不告訴我
I mean, if he didn't want to go shopping with me, why didn't he just say so?
我是說，如果他不想跟我去逛街，那他干嘛不直接說
Maybe he couldn't get a word in edgewise.
或許是因為他插不上嘴
I'm sorry, I've been going on and on.
抱歉，我一直喋喋不休
Oh, it's all right, dear. Sheldon has a brilliant and complicated mind. It's understandable that being in a relationship with him could be trying.
沒關(guān)系，親愛的，謝爾頓的大腦睿智又復(fù)雜，我可以理解跟他談戀愛會比較費勁
I called him "babe" once. He asked me to get a drug test.
我有次叫了他"寶貝"，他懷疑我嗑藥，要我藥檢
Well, I do admire your resolve. You're an extraordinary woman. Thank you.
我真的很佩服你的決心，你是一名非凡的女性，謝謝
You know, she's my motherinlaw. Why can't I bond with her like that?
她是我婆婆，為什么我不能跟她像這樣熱絡(luò)呢
Amy's with Sheldon who she loves like a son. You're with her son...who she doesn't.
艾米跟她視如己出的謝爾頓在一起，而你跟她...視如外人的兒子在一起
Do you realize it took me five years to get a massage from him?
你知道我們談了五年，他才愿意給我做按摩嗎
Oh, well, that still could be a big step for Sheldon.
那對謝爾頓來說，也算是很大的進(jìn)步了
Three minutes. And he used a kitchen timer. I felt like a softboiled egg.
三分鐘，他用了一個廚房計時器計時，我覺得自己就像一顆溏心蛋
You know, being in a relationship with Leonard also comes with its challenges. Yes. Well, what can you do?
跟萊納德一起相處也是挑戰(zhàn)滿滿哦，是啊，但你又能怎么樣呢
Maybe it's Sheldon, here to say he's sorry. Sheldon says he's sorry.
或許是謝爾頓來道歉了，謝爾頓說對不起
Bernadette, I'll give you five dollars to slam the door.
伯納黛特，我給你五塊錢，使勁摔門
I would have done it for three.
我收三塊就行
Boy, all this standing's making me tired. Good thing I brought my collapsible stick chair.
天啊，站這么久我好累啊，還好我?guī)Я宋业氖终日郫B椅
Not the stick chair. You look like an idiot on that thing.
我討厭那椅子，你坐在那玩意上像個傻子
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chairs on sticks are comfy.
棍杖和石頭或許會弄斷我的骨頭，但在棍杖上的椅子，超舒服哦
Is everything smoothed out with Amy?
艾米的事擺平了嗎
Uh, no, she's still pretty mad. Did you make the apology as sincere as I would have? I said, "Sheldon says he's sorry."
沒有，她還是很生氣，你道歉的時候，有像我那樣真誠嗎，我說"謝爾頓說對不起"
Oh, well, that's laying it on a little thick. You think it's time you apologize to her yourself?
那有點過分真誠了，你該親自去跟她道歉了吧
I suppose so. But if I get out of the line, I'll lose my spot.
我想也是，但如果我走出隊伍，我的位置就沒了
I'm happy to hold your place till you get back.
我很樂意幫你保留位置等你回來
You would do that? Consider it my way of getting more of your money.
你會這么做嗎，就當(dāng)這是我坑你錢的方式吧
You're a good man.
你真是一個好人
So, Beverly, did you know Penny is the number three sales rep at our pharmaceutical company?
貝弗莉，你知道佩妮是我們制藥公司業(yè)績第三名的銷售代表嗎
Oh, I didn't realize you two work together.
我都不知道你們倆一起工作
Well, we don't exactly. I'm a microbiologist for the research team.
其實不算是，我是研發(fā)團(tuán)隊的微生物學(xué)家
Oh, what are you currently developing?
你們最近在研發(fā)什么
Some exciting new antianxiety drugs.
一種抗焦慮的新藥
That's interesting. I just attended a lecture on pediatric anxiety.
真是巧了，我剛參加了一個關(guān)于兒童焦慮癥的講座
Oh, was it, uh, Dr. Jenofski?
是不是杰諾夫斯基博士的講座
I just saw his TED Talk! It was.
我才看了他的TED演講，正是他的
Let's get back to Penny.
我們還是聊回佩妮吧
Hey, weren't you telling me something great about your company car? It has seat warmers.
對了，你之前不是提起過公司給你的那輛車有多棒嗎，車上有座椅加熱器
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