《柯南脫口秀》第15期:跟喜歡的人約會(huì)
I'm trying to understand how life works and I've learned this 我想搞明白生活是怎么回事 我學(xué)到了這個(gè)
you have to date people that you really like. 你得跟你喜歡的人約會(huì)
You can't just be physical because if it is,it's . 不能只是為了性 因?yàn)槿绻悄菢拥脑?那就完蛋了
because men are bipolar when it comes to sex. 因?yàn)樯婕暗叫詯?ài)時(shí) 男人是雙極的
Pre and post sex we are two different people. 性愛(ài)前和性愛(ài)后 我們是兩個(gè)不同的人
Pre sex,very enthusiastic.Yes,I agree with that.Ha,ha,ha,that's so funny. 性愛(ài)前 很感興趣 對(duì) 我同意 哈哈哈 太搞笑了
Just the lie,the . 謊言 欺騙
I hear myself talking to women.I'm like shut up! 我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)我自己跟女人談話 我都想說(shuō) 閉嘴吧
And it's all for what?Just to get laid. 這都是為了啥啊 就為了滾床單
But the second that you climax,you're like what have I done? 但是 你高潮的那一秒 你想著 我做了什么啊
It's like a murder.There's a naked body here.How do I get rid of it? 那就跟謀殺一樣 這里有一具裸體 我該怎么處理掉它
I have left my own apartment after sex.Do you kown how uncomfortable that is? 做完愛(ài)后我離開(kāi)過(guò)自己的公寓 你知道那有多么不舒服嗎
They're looking at you going where are you going? 她們看著你說(shuō) 你要去哪里啊
I just,I can't.Just do whatever you need. 我只是 我做不到 你想做什么都行
Something happens to men during orgasm.Something leaves our bodies. 高潮時(shí)男人會(huì)有變化 有東西離開(kāi)了我們的身體
I think it's interest, and you can't get that back for roughly an hour. 我覺(jué)得是興趣 大概一小時(shí)內(nèi) 你都找不回興趣
And yet women are so comfortable afterwards.They're like what do you want to do now? 但女人在性愛(ài)后好舒服 他們說(shuō) 你現(xiàn)在想做什么啊
Anything.Not with you.I'll do anything you like but you can't be there. 什么都行 只要不跟你一起做 我愿意做你喜歡的任何事 但你不能在場(chǎng)
And I really hate that happens to us as men because I adore women. 我真的討厭 那種事發(fā)生在男人身上 因?yàn)槲蚁矚g女人
I think they're incredible.Just the fact that they agree to .They're just like yeah,sure. 我覺(jué)得她們很了不起 她們居然會(huì)同意懷孕 她們說(shuō) 好吧 沒(méi)問(wèn)題
I'll let someone live inside me for nine months.Nine months! 我會(huì)讓一個(gè)人在我體內(nèi)住九個(gè)月 九個(gè)月啊
People say to me,can you hold this?I say no.I'm James Smith.Thank you very much. 人們對(duì)我說(shuō) 你能拿著這個(gè)嗎 我說(shuō)不行 我是詹姆斯·史密斯 非常感謝
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