《柯南脫口秀》第35期:沒有合適的車

Did you ever have any nonacting job for you had success? 你有沒有過成功的非演戲工作

I did.I have had many nonacting jobs.and one of my favorites was delivering bananas for a fair trade company in New Zealand. 有過 我有過很多非演戲工作 我最喜歡的是為新西蘭的一家貿(mào)易公司送香蕉

And I told them that I wanted this job.I had everything it took. 我跟他們說我想要這份工作 我有需要的一切條件

And they told me I needed a vehicle.and I said got that,sort of.I didn't.I had a scooter. 他們說我需要一輛車 我說我有 搞定了 我沒有 我只有摩托車

And so I rode around Wellington,which is one of the windiest cities in the country. 我在惠靈頓市里騎著車 這是新西蘭上最多風的城市之一

On a scooter with of bananas on the back.And I got blown off twice,unfortunately. 騎著摩托車 后座有很多箱香蕉 不幸的是我被吹下來兩次

And so I had to go back to the boss and say look,I'm sorry,I kind of lied and I don't really have an appropriate vehicle. 我得去找老板說 抱歉 我撒了謊 我沒有合適的車

So they said no problem.we also run an environmentally friendly business.And we have hearses available. 他們說 沒問題 我們也運營環(huán)保的殯儀業(yè)務 我們有退役的靈車

So I ended up delivering bananas all around Wellington in a retired hearse. 所以我最后 開著退役的靈車滿惠靈頓跑送香蕉

That is,who wants to have a banana you just pulled out of a hearse? 誰想要你 剛從靈車里拿出來的香蕉啊

Turns out it wasn't part of my opening big when I to the supermarket people. 我跟超市的人說話時 并沒有開張大吉

You know what I love when you're on the scooter and they're flying off,you picked the most easily fruit that there is. 我喜歡的是 你騎著摩托車 香蕉飛了 你選擇了最容易碰傷的水果

You can't sell a bruised banana.and it takes a year for a banana to grow. 你賣不掉碰傷的香蕉 香蕉要一年才能成熟

Did you know that?No,I never knew that. 你知道嗎 我不知道

A year? see,that's the only piece of information that's valuable that's come out of this show in over five years. 一年嗎 這是五年來這個節(jié)目里唯一有用的信息

Thank you,thank you.thank you. 謝謝你 謝謝你 謝謝你