《柯南脫口秀》第88期:大戰(zhàn)松鼠

The guy told me this would happen,a squirrel could get in there.If it does,just let it go. 那家伙跟我說(shuō)過(guò)會(huì)發(fā)生這種事 松鼠會(huì)落入陷阱 如果抓到松鼠 就直接放生

I went to go take the squirrel out.something was wrong with the squirrel. 我過(guò)去想把松鼠放出來(lái) 那松鼠有點(diǎn)不對(duì)勁

I don't know what was going on,foamint at the mouth. 我不知道是怎么回事 它在口吐白沫

I'm not letting this out.My luck,I let it out,this thing is all over me. 我可不要放他出來(lái) 就憑我這運(yùn)氣 如果放它出來(lái) 它會(huì)在我身上亂竄

I'm not fighting a squirrel on a Tuesday morning at 7:30.So I give my wife a 20. 我可不要在周二早上七點(diǎn)半大戰(zhàn)松鼠 于是我給了老婆20塊錢(qián)

I tell her to go across the street.There is a Mexican gardener across the street. 我讓她到街對(duì)面去 街對(duì)面有個(gè)墨西哥園丁

Mexicans they're not scared with anything. 墨西哥人啥都不怕

They'll come over with their bare hands,get it out and throw it down the sidewalk. 他們會(huì)赤手空拳跑過(guò)來(lái) 把松鼠弄出來(lái) 扔到人行道上

So 10 minutes goes by and she calls me from the driveway. 十分鐘過(guò)去了 她從車(chē)道上喊我

She has three Mexican gardeners with her.Come here,come here,come here. 她帶來(lái)了三個(gè)墨西哥園丁 過(guò)來(lái) 過(guò)來(lái) 過(guò)來(lái)

The whole reason for you to go do this was to act like you were home alone and you didn't want to let the squirrel out. 我讓你這么做的原因 就是想讓你裝作獨(dú)自在家 你不想自己動(dòng)手把松鼠放出來(lái)

Now I got to look three grown men in the eye,the squirrel is here. 而現(xiàn)在我要看著三個(gè)成年人的眼睛說(shuō) 松鼠在這里

We're trying to it,it's at the mouth,can you do it? 我們?cè)趪樆Ｋ?它口吐白沫了 你們能把它弄出來(lái)嗎

You guys have been great,happy holidays! 你們非常配合 圣誕快樂(lè)