《柯南脫口秀》第91期:給觀眾比較好的禮物

Ellen aslo gave everyone a gold medal from the 1932 Olympics. 艾倫還給了一塊1932年的奧運(yùn)會(huì)金牌

Sounds impossible,but anyway I should explain, that woman was in our audience last night, 聽上去不太可能 我得解釋下 這女人昨天就來了

she showed us all the gifts she got at the Ellen Show.Take a look. 她向大家展示了她昨天在《艾倫秀》上得到的各種禮物 看看吧

Why do you have a cappuccino machine? 你為什么有一臺(tái)咖啡機(jī)啊

I came here straight from "Ellen".She is doing her 12 days of giveaways. 我從艾倫那兒直接過來的 她在做12日送禮

Ellen also gave me an iphone nine.Ellen gave me a pair of Jon Hamm's youth's basketball shorts. 艾倫還給了我一部iPhone 9 艾倫給了我一條喬恩·漢姆穿過的籃球短褲

Ellen also got each of us this amazing terra cotta statue of a .My brand-new M.R.I machine that Ellen gave me. 艾倫還給我們每個(gè)人送了一尊兵馬俑 艾倫給了我臺(tái)新核磁共振機(jī)

Ellen also gave each of us our own personal Fabio to operate it. 艾倫給我們每個(gè)人配備了私人操作師模特法比奧

Look,those gifts are wonderful.Ellen is .I just can't do that.It's a lot of work. 這些禮物很棒 艾倫是個(gè)大好人 但我做不到 這太費(fèi)事

Come on,if Ellen can give away a silver toilet filled with Asian Rubies,why can't you? 得了 艾倫都能送出放滿亞洲紅寶石的銀質(zhì)馬桶 你怎么就不能

That's nice,but I happen to believe the greatest gift I can give my audience is the gift of . 這很好 但我認(rèn)為我能帶給觀眾最好的禮物就是歡笑

I've been here two nights in a row and I haven't laughed once. 我都連續(xù)來兩晚了 一次都沒笑過

Look,Ma'am,I'm really sorry.I'm not handing out gifts.It's not going to happen. 女士 很抱歉 我不會(huì)發(fā)禮物的 別想了

What kind of monster are you?Hello?Can you believe this cream?No gifts!I don't know what to say about that,I... 你是什么樣的禽獸啊 喂 你相信這混蛋嗎 不送禮物 我不知道該說什么