(雙語(yǔ))月亮和六便士第21章(3)

所屬教程:月亮和六便士

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2021年05月19日

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Meanwhile he had never ceased to work at his art; but, soon tiring of the studios, entirely by himself. He had never been so poor that he could not buy canvas and paint, and really he needed nothing else. So far as I could make out, he painted with great difficulty, and in his unwillingness to accept help from anyone lost much time in finding out for himself the solution of technical problems which preceding generations had already worked out one by one. He was aiming at something, I knew not what, and perhaps he hardly knew himself; and I got again more strongly the impression of a man possessed. He did not seem quite sane. It seemed to me that he would not show his pictures because he was really not interested in them. He lived in a dream, and the reality meant nothing to him. I had the feeling that he worked on a canvas with all the force of his violent personality, oblivious of everything in his effort to get what he saw with the mind's eye; and then, having finished, not the picture perhaps, for I had an idea that he seldom brought anything to completion, but the passion that fired him, he lost all care for it. He was never satisfied with what he had done; it seemed to him of no consequence compared with the vision that obsessed his mind.

在所有這些日子里，他的藝術(shù)活動(dòng)一直沒(méi)有停止過(guò)。但是不久他就沒(méi)有興致到畫(huà)室去了；他只關(guān)在屋子里一個(gè)人埋頭苦干。因?yàn)橐晃牟幻?，有時(shí)他連畫(huà)布和顏料都買不起，而這兩樣?xùn)|西恰好是他最需要的。從他的談話里我了解到，他在繪畫(huà)上遇到的困難很大，因?yàn)樗辉敢饨邮軇e人指點(diǎn)，不得不浪費(fèi)許多時(shí)間摸索一些技巧上的問(wèn)題，其實(shí)這些問(wèn)題過(guò)去的畫(huà)家早已逐一解決了。他在追求一種我不太清楚的東西，或許連他自己也知道得并不清楚。過(guò)去我有過(guò)的那種印象這一次變得更加強(qiáng)烈了：他象是一個(gè)被什么迷住了的人，他的心智好象不很正常。他不肯把自己的畫(huà)拿給別人看，我覺(jué)得這是因?yàn)樗麑?duì)這些畫(huà)實(shí)在不感興趣。他生活在幻夢(mèng)里，現(xiàn)實(shí)對(duì)他一點(diǎn)兒意義也沒(méi)有。我有一種感覺(jué)，他好象把自己的強(qiáng)烈個(gè)性全部?jī)A注在一張畫(huà)布上，在奮力創(chuàng)造自己心靈所見(jiàn)到的景象時(shí)，他把周圍的一切事物全都忘記了。而一旦繪畫(huà)的過(guò)程結(jié)束——或許并不是畫(huà)幅本身，因?yàn)閾?jù)我猜想，他是很少把一張畫(huà)畫(huà)完的，我是說(shuō)他把一陣燃燒著他心靈的激情發(fā)泄完畢以后，他對(duì)自己畫(huà)出來(lái)的東西就再也不關(guān)心了。他對(duì)自己的畫(huà)兒從來(lái)也不滿意；同纏住他心靈的幻景相比，他覺(jué)得這些畫(huà)實(shí)在太沒(méi)有意義了。

Why don't you ever send your work to exhibitions? I asked. "I should have thought you'd like to know what people thought about it."

“為什么你不把自己的畫(huà)送到展覽會(huì)上去呢？”我問(wèn)他說(shuō)，“我想你會(huì)愿意聽(tīng)聽(tīng)別人的意見(jiàn)的?！?/p>

Would you?

“你愿意聽(tīng)嗎？”

I cannot describe the unmeasurable contempt he put into the two words.

他說(shuō)這句話時(shí)那種鄙夷不屑勁兒我簡(jiǎn)直無(wú)法形容。

Don't you want fame? It's something that most artists haven't been indifferent to.

“你不想成名嗎？大多數(shù)畫(huà)家對(duì)這一點(diǎn)還是不能無(wú)動(dòng)于衷的。”

Children. How can you care for the opinion of the crowd, when you don't care twopence for the opinion of the individual?

“真幼稚。如果你不在乎某一個(gè)人對(duì)你的看法，一群人對(duì)你有什么意見(jiàn)又有什么關(guān)系？”

We're not all reasonable beings, I laughed.

“我們并不是人人都是理性動(dòng)物??！”我笑著說(shuō)。