雙語·摸彩：雪莉·杰克遜短篇小說選 珍妮絲
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- 中文
Janice
First, to me on the phone, in a half-amused melancholy:“Guess I'm not going back to school...”
“Why not, Jan?”
“Oh, my mother. She says we can't afford it.” How can I reproduce the uncaring inflections of Janice's voice, saying conversationally that what she wanted she could not have? “So I guess I'm not going back.”
“I'm so sorry, Jan.”
But then, struck by another thought: “Y'know what?”
“What?”
“Darn near killed myself this afternoon.”
“Jan! How?”
Almost whimsical, indifferent: “Locked myself in the garage and turned on the car motor.”
“But why?”
“I dunno. 'Cause I couldn't go back, I suppose.”
“What happened?”
“Oh, the fellow that was cutting our lawn heard the motor and came and got me. I was pretty near out.”
“But that's terrible, Jan. What ever possessed—”
“Oh, well. Say—” changing again, “—going to Sally's tonight?”
And, later, that night at Sally's where Janice was not the center of the group, but sat talking to me and to Bob: “Nearly killed myself this afternoon, Bob.”
“What!”
Lightly: “Nearly killed myself. Locked myself in the garage with the car motor running.”
“But why, Jan?”
“I guess because they wouldn't let me go back to school.”
“Oh, I'm sorry about that, Jan. But what about this afternoon? What did you do?”
“Man cutting the grass got me out.”
Sally coming over: “What's this, Jan?”
“Oh, I'm not going back to school.”
Myself, cutting in: “How did it feel to be dying, Jan?”
Laughing “Gee, funny. All black.” Then, to Sally's incredulous stare: “Nearly killed myself this afternoon, Sally...”
珍妮絲
第一次，她是在電話中，用一種半開玩笑半憂傷的口吻對我說：“我覺得再也上不了學(xué)了……”
“為什么呀，珍？”
“呃，是因為我媽媽，她說我們家負(fù)擔(dān)不起了?！蔽液喼睙o法描述說這話時珍妮絲聲音中那種滿不在乎的腔調(diào)。實際上她是在用一種很平淡的語氣說著一個可望而不可即的東西?！八晕矣X得我不會再上學(xué)了?！?/p>
“我真的很遺憾，珍?！?/p>
但是過了一會兒，她好像又突然想起了什么?！澳阒绬幔俊?/p>
“什么？”
“今天下午我差點兒要了自己的命?！?/p>
“珍！怎么回事？”
她用古怪、冷漠的口吻說道：“我把自己鎖在車庫里，然后發(fā)動了汽車?！?/p>
“可是為什么呀？”
“我不知道。可能是因為我不能回去上學(xué)的原因吧，我想。”
“后來呢？”
“呃，有個家伙正在修剪我們的草坪，他聽見了馬達聲，跑過來發(fā)現(xiàn)了我，那個時候我都快要一命歸西了?！?/p>
“真是太可怕了，珍。你究竟被什么迷住了心竅……”
“呃，好了，還是……”她改變了話題，“今晚還去薩利家嗎？”
后來，在薩利家的那天晚上，大家都沒怎么注意珍妮絲，但是她坐在那兒，一會兒對著我，一會兒又對著鮑勃說：“今天下午我差點兒自殺了，鮑勃?！?/p>
“什么！”
她輕聲地說：“我差點兒殺了自己。我把自己反鎖在車庫里，讓汽車的馬達一直轉(zhuǎn)著?！?/p>
“到底為什么呀，珍？”
“我想是因為他們不想讓我上學(xué)了。”
“哦，我很遺憾聽你這么說，珍。但是今天下午是怎么回事？瞧你都干了些什么？”
“正在割草的工人救了我。”
薩利走了過來，問：“怎么啦，珍？”
“呃，我上不了學(xué)了?！?/p>
我這時忍不住插了話：“快死的時候是什么感覺，珍？”
她哈哈大笑起來，“哇，好玩，四周一片漆黑?！比缓?，她對著瞠目結(jié)舌而又半信半疑的薩利說道：“今天下午，我差點兒自殺，薩利……”
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