“Ah Pangloss!Pangloss!Ah Martin!Ah my dear Miss Cunegund!What sort of a world is this?”Thus exclaimed Candide as soon as he got on board the Dutch ship.
“Why something very foolish, and very abominable,”said Martin.
“You are acquainted with England,”said Candide;“are they as great fools in that country as in France?”
“Yes, but in a different manner,”answered Martin.“You know that these two nations are at war about a few acres of barren land in the neighborhood of Canada, and that they have expended much greater sums in the contest than all Canada is worth. To say exactly whether there are a greater number ft to be inhabitants of a madhouse in the one country than the other, exceeds the limits of my imperfect capacity;I know in general that the people we are going to visit are of a very dark and gloomy disposition.”
As they were chatting thus together they arrived at Portsmouth. The shore on each side the harbor was lined with a multitude of people, whose eyes were steadfastly fixed on a lusty man who was kneeling down on the deck of one of the men-of-war, with something tied before his eyes.Opposite to this personage stood four soldiers, each of whom shot three bullets into his skull, with all the composure imaginable;and when it was done, the whole company went away perfectly well satisfed.
“What the devil is all this for?”said Candide,“and what demon, or foe of mankind, lords it thus tyrannically over the world?”
He then asked who was that lusty man who had been sent out of the world with so much ceremony. When he received for answer, that it was an admiral.
“And pray why do you put your admiral to death?”
“Because he did not put a suffcient number of his fellow creatures to death. You must know, he had an engagement with a French admiral, and it has been proved against him that he was not near enough to his antagonist.”
“But,”replied Candide,“the French admiral must have been as far from him.”
“There is no doubt of that;but in this country it is found requisite, now and then, to put an admiral to death, in order to encourage the others to fght.”
Candide was so shocked at what he saw and heard, that he would not set foot on shore, but made a bargain with the Dutch skipper(were he even to rob him like the captain of Surinam)to carry him directly to Venice.
The skipper was ready in two days. They sailed along the coast of France, and passed within sight of Lisbon, at which Candide trembled.From thence they proceeded to the Straits, entered the Mediterranean, and at length arrived at Venice.
“God be praised,”said Candide, embracing Martin,“this is the place where I am to behold my beloved Cunegund once again. I can confide in Cacambo, like another self.All is well, all is very well, all is well as possible.”
“啊,邦葛羅斯!邦葛羅斯!啊,瑪??!瑪??!啊,親愛的居內(nèi)貢!這是什么世界呀?”老實人在荷蘭船上這么叫著。
瑪丁答道:“都是些瘋狂丑惡的事兒?!?/p>
“你到過英國,那邊的人是不是跟法國人一樣瘋狂的?”
瑪丁道:“那是另外一種瘋狂。英法兩國正為了靠近加拿大的幾百畝雪地打仗,為此英勇地戰(zhàn)爭,所花的錢已經(jīng)大大超過了全加拿大的價值。該送瘋?cè)嗽旱娜司烤鼓囊粐?,恕我資質(zhì)愚鈍,無法奉告。我只知道我們要遇到的人性情憂郁,肝火很旺。”
說話之間,他們進了樸次茅斯港;港內(nèi)泊著艦隊;岸上人山人海,睜著眼睛望著一個胖子;他跪在一條兵船的甲板上,四個兵面對著他,每人若無其事地朝他腦袋放了三槍;岸上的看客便心滿意足地回去了。
老實人道:“怎么回事呀?哪個魔鬼這樣到處發(fā)威的?”他向人打聽,那個在隆重的儀式中被槍斃的胖子是誰。
“是個海軍提督[50]。”有人回答。
“為什么要殺他呢?”
“因為他殺人殺得不夠,他和一個法國海軍提督作戰(zhàn),離開敵人太遠了?!?/p>
老實人道:“可是法國提督離開英國提督不是一樣遠嗎?”
旁邊的人回答:“不錯;可是這個國家,每隔多少時候總得殺掉個把海軍提督,鼓勵一下別的海軍提督。”
老實人對于所見所聞,又驚駭,又厭惡,簡直不愿意上岸;當下跟荷蘭船主講妥價錢,把船直放佛尼市;哪怕這船主會像蘇利南的那個一樣地拐騙他,也顧不得了。
兩天以后,船主準備停當,把船沿著法國海岸駛?cè)ィ贿h遠望見里斯本的時候,老實人嚇得直打哆嗦。接著進了海峽,駛?cè)氲刂泻#唤K于到了佛尼市。
老實人摟著瑪丁叫道:“哎啊!謝謝上帝!這兒我可以和美人居內(nèi)貢相會了。我相信加剛菩跟相信我自己一樣??啾M甘來,否極泰來,不是樣樣都十全十美了嗎?”