雙語·《西爾維婭·普拉斯詩集》 郁金香

Tulips
郁金香

The tulips are too excitable, it is winter here.
時(shí)逢冬天，郁金香卻太艷麗。

Look how white everything is, how quiet, how snowed-in.
瞧，一切被雪覆蓋，雪白，多安靜。

I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
我正在適應(yīng)這寧靜，獨(dú)自安靜地躺著

As the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands.
光線散落在白色墻上，床上和雙手上。

I am nobody;I have nothing to do with explosions.
我是小人物；我與突然冒出的艷麗無關(guān)。

I have given my name and my day-clothes up to the nurses
我已把我的名字、白天穿的衣服交給了護(hù)士

And my history to the anesthetist and my body to surgeons.
我的歷史給了麻醉師，我的身體給了外科醫(yī)生。

They have propped my head between the pillow and the sheet-cuff
他們將我的頭支撐好，在枕頭與床單之間

Like an eye between two white lids that will not shut.
仿佛一只眼，嵌在兩層白色眼皮間。

Stupid pupil, it has to take everything in.
愚蠢的眼球，必須將這一切收入眼中。

The nurses pass and pass, they are no trouble,
護(hù)士們來來去去，她們并不找我麻煩。

They pass the way gulls pass inland in their white caps,
她們帶著白色帽子，與海鷗經(jīng)過海島一樣，

Doing things with their hands, one just the same as another,
雙手忙碌著，一個(gè)與另一個(gè)相同，

So it is impossible to tell how many there are.
因此不可能知道她們有幾個(gè)。

My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
我的身體如鵝卵石，她們處理它

Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
仿佛水輕柔地、沖刷滑過鵝卵石。

They bring me numbness in their bright needles, they bring me sleep.
她們用錚亮的針給我麻醉，帶我入睡。

Now I have lost myself I am sick of baggage——
我已迷失自己，我厭倦這個(gè)行李——

My patent leather overnight case like a black pillbox,
我的漆皮手提箱像黑色的藥片盒，

My husband and child smiling out of the family photo;
家庭照片中丈夫和孩子沖我微笑；

Their smiles catch onto my skin, little smiling hooks.
他們的微笑抓住我的皮膚，微笑的小鉤子。

I have let things slip, a thirty-year-old cargo boat
我已讓它們溜走，三十年的老貨船

Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
頑固地掛著我的名字和地址。

They have swabbed me clear of my loving associations.
它們已清除了我充滿愛意的聯(lián)想。

Scared and bare on the green plastic-pillowed trolley
赤裸躺在鋪有綠色塑料墊子的推車上，我害怕

I watched my teaset, my bureaus of linen, my books
我看著我的茶具、鋪著亞麻布的書桌，我的書

Sink out of sight, and the water went over my head.
退出視線，而那水從我的頭流過。

I am a nun now, I have never been so pure.
現(xiàn)在我是修女，我從未如此純潔。

I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted
我并不要什么花，我只想

To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
躺著毫無牽掛，雙手朝上放好。

How free it is, you have no idea how free——
多么自由，你真想不到多么自由——

The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
如此的寧靜讓你恍惚不安，

And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.
而它不求什么，不求姓名牌，或小飾品。

It is what the dead close on,finally;I imagine them
最終，死者在逼近；我想象它們

Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.
正閉上它們的嘴，像一個(gè)圣餐薄餅。

The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me.
郁金香從一開始就太紅艷，它們傷害我。

Even through the gift paper I could hear them breathe
即使透過禮品包裝紙，我仍聽見它們輕柔的

Lightly, through their white swaddlings, like an awful baby.
呼吸，像難受的嬰兒，透過白色的襁褓紙。

Their redness talks to my wound, it corresponds.
紅色對著我的傷口說話，傷口附和著。

They are subtle:they seem to float, though they weigh me down,
它們很巧妙：它們似在漂浮，卻使我沉重，

Upsetting me with their sudden tongues and their color,
它們突然闖入，舌狀花瓣和顏色使我不安，

A dozen red lead sinkers round my neck.
仿佛一打紅色鉛錨繞著我的脖子下沉。

Nobody watched me before, now I am watched.
從未有人注意過我，而現(xiàn)在，有人看護(hù)我。

The tulips turn to me, and the window behind me
郁金香轉(zhuǎn)向我，而我身后的窗戶

Where once a day the light slowly widens and slowly thins,
每天一次光線緩慢變寬又緩慢變細(xì)，

And I see myself,flat, ridiculous, a cut-paper shadow
我發(fā)覺自己，扁平、可笑，剪紙的影子

Between the eye of the sun and the eyes of the tulips,
在太陽之眼和郁金香的眼睛之間，

And I have no face, I have wanted to efface myself.
但我沒有臉，我已經(jīng)將自己抹去。

The vivid tulips eat my oxygen.
鮮活的郁金香吞食我的氧氣。

Before they came the air was calm enough,
郁金香送來之前空氣很安靜，

Coming and going, breath by breath, without any fuss.
流動(dòng)著，我一口接一口地呼吸，沒有忙亂。

Then the tulips filled it up like a loud noise.
后來郁金香像大聲的噪音填滿了空氣。

Now the air snags and eddies round them the way a river
現(xiàn)在空氣纏住它們并圍繞著它們旋轉(zhuǎn)

Snags and eddies round a sunken rust-red engine.
如同河水纏住圍繞下沉的銹紅色引擎。

They concentrate my attention, that was happy
它們吸引我的注意力，那樣快樂地

Playing and resting without committing itself.
玩耍、休息，并沒有承擔(dān)任何義務(wù)。

The walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
那些墻，似乎，也在溫暖它們自己。

The tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
郁金香應(yīng)該關(guān)在籠子里，危險(xiǎn)的動(dòng)物；

They are opening like the mouth of some great African cat,
它們卻盛開仿佛某只非洲巨貓張開的嘴，

And I am aware of my heart:it opens and closes
而我意識(shí)到我的心臟：張開又關(guān)閉

Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
紅色的心房涌出我純粹的愛。

The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
我嘗到的水溫暖帶咸味，仿佛大海，

And comes from a country far away as health.
從陌生的國度涌來，遙遠(yuǎn)如我的健康。

(1961/03/18. pp.160—162. No. 142)
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