雙語(yǔ)·《刀鋒》 第四章 九

CHAPTER FOUR 9
第四章 九

A week or so after I had so unexpectedly run into Larry, Suzanne and I one night, having dined together and gone to a movie, were sitting in the Sélect on the Boulevard du Montparnasse, having a glass of beer, when he strolled in.She gave a gasp and to my surprise called out to him.He came up to the table, kissed her, and shook hands with me.I could see that she could hardly believe her eyes.
大概一個(gè)多星期后，我竟然和拉里出人意料地相遇了。一天晚上，我和蘇姍娜看了電影，下了館子，然后到蒙巴納斯林蔭道上的精英酒館喝啤酒。就在這時(shí)，拉里慢慢悠悠走了進(jìn)來(lái)。蘇姍娜吃了一驚。令我感到意外的是，她喊住了他。拉里聞聲走過(guò)來(lái)，吻吻她，和我握了握手。我看得出，蘇姍娜驚訝極了，簡(jiǎn)直不敢相信自己的眼睛。

“May I sit down?”he said.“I haven't had any dinner and I'm going to have something to eat.”
“我可以坐下嗎？”他說(shuō)，“我還沒(méi)有吃晚飯，得要點(diǎn)東西填填肚子?！?/p>

“Oh, but it's good to see you, mon petit，”she said, her eyes sparkling.“Where have you sprung from?And why have you given no sign of life all these years?My God, how thin you are！For all I knew you might have been dead.”
“啊，見(jiàn)到你真高興，我的寶貝?！碧K姍娜說(shuō)道，眼睛里閃著亮光，“你這是從哪里蹦出來(lái)的？怎么這么多年連個(gè)人影都不見(jiàn)？天呀，看你瘦得跟個(gè)鬼一樣！我還以為你死了呢?！?/p>

“Well, I wasn't，”he answered, his eyes twinkling.“How is Odette?”
“哦，我沒(méi)有死?！崩镎０土藥紫卵劬φf(shuō)，“奧德特近來(lái)可好？”

That was the name of Suzanne's daughter.
奧德特是蘇姍娜女兒的芳名。

“Oh, she's growing a big girl. And pretty.She still remembers you.”
“好著呢。她現(xiàn)在長(zhǎng)成個(gè)大姑娘了，很漂亮。她還記著你呢?！?/p>

“You never told me you knew Larry，”I said to her.
“你從沒(méi)說(shuō)過(guò)你認(rèn)識(shí)拉里。”我埋怨蘇姍娜說(shuō)。

“Why should I?I never knew you knew him. We're old friends.”
“我怎么能說(shuō)呢？我又不知道你認(rèn)識(shí)他。我們是老朋友了。”

Larry ordered himself eggs and bacon. Suzanne told him all about her daughter and then about herself.He listened in his smiling, charming way while she chattered.She told him that she had settled down and was painting.She turned to me.
拉里給自己要了份雞蛋和火腿。蘇姍娜把女兒的情況以及她自己的情況細(xì)細(xì)給拉里講了講。她講起來(lái)滔滔不絕，拉里則耐心聽(tīng)著，臉上掛著微笑。她告訴拉里，說(shuō)她有了安定的生活，目前正在作畫(huà)。她還把臉轉(zhuǎn)向我說(shuō)：

“I'm improving, don't you think?I don't pretend I'm a genius, but I have as much talent as many of the painters I've known.”
“我有了長(zhǎng)進(jìn)，你看是不是？我不敢說(shuō)自己是個(gè)天才，但是論才氣，與許多我認(rèn)識(shí)的畫(huà)家相比，我還是巾幗不讓須眉的?！?/p>

“D'you sell any pictures?”asked Larry.
“你的畫(huà)賣不賣？”拉里問(wèn)。

“I don't have to，”she answered airily.“I have private means.”
“我沒(méi)必要賣畫(huà)，”蘇姍娜快活地說(shuō)，“我的生活是有著落的?！?/p>

“Lucky girl.”
“你運(yùn)氣好呀?！?/p>

“No, not lucky：clever. You must come and see my pictures.”
“錯(cuò)了，這不是運(yùn)氣不運(yùn)氣，而是智慧。你可一定要來(lái)看看我的畫(huà)喲?！?/p>

She wrote down her address on a piece of paper and made him promise to go. Suzanne, excited, went on talking nineteen to the dozen.Then Larry asked for his bill.
她把自己的住址寫(xiě)在一張紙上，硬逼著拉里一定要去看畫(huà)。她心情激動(dòng)，喋喋不休說(shuō)個(gè)沒(méi)完。后來(lái)，拉里叫侍者過(guò)來(lái)埋單。

“You're not going?”she cried.
“你這就走嗎？”她嚷嚷道。

“I am，”he smiled.
“是的。”拉里微微一笑說(shuō)。

He paid and with a wave of the hand left us. I laughed.He had a way that always amused me of being with you one moment and without explanation gone the next.It was so abrupt；it was almost as if he had faded into the air.
他付過(guò)錢(qián)，沖著我們擺擺手，然后飄然而去。我哈哈大笑。他這種派頭一直使我覺(jué)得很特別——?jiǎng)偛胚€和你在一起，轉(zhuǎn)眼不見(jiàn)了人影，連句解釋的話也沒(méi)有，來(lái)去如風(fēng)，仿佛消失在了空氣里。

“Why did he want to go away so quickly?”said Suzanne, with vexation.
“他為什么這么急著走呢？”蘇姍娜著惱地問(wèn)。

“Perhaps he's got a girl waiting for him，”I replied mockingly.
“也許有個(gè)女孩子在等他吧?！蔽野腴_(kāi)玩笑地說(shuō)。

“That's an idea like another.”She took her compact out of her bag and powdered her face.“I pity any woman who falls in love with him. Oh la la.”
“這話說(shuō)得沒(méi)名頭。”她從包里取出粉盒，往臉上撲了些粉，“哪一個(gè)女人愛(ài)上了他，算她倒霉。算啦，算啦?！?/p>

“Why do you say that?”
“此話怎講？”

She looked at me for a minute with a seriousness I had not often seen in her.
她打量了一下我，表情嚴(yán)肅起來(lái)（很少見(jiàn)她這么嚴(yán)肅過(guò)）。

“I very nearly fell in love with him myself once. You might as well fall in love with a reflection in the water or a ray of sunshine or a cloud in the sky.I had a narrow escape.Even now when I think of it I tremble at the danger I ran.”
“在過(guò)去，我自己就差點(diǎn)愛(ài)上他。愛(ài)他，無(wú)異于愛(ài)水里的倒影、天上的陽(yáng)光或云朵。幸虧我沒(méi)有深陷其中?；叵肫甬?dāng)時(shí)的險(xiǎn)境，我至今還會(huì)嚇得打哆嗦。”

Discretion be blowed. It would have been inhuman not to want to know what this was all about.I congratulated myself that Suzanne was a woman who had no notion of reticence.
好奇心一起，勢(shì)不可當(dāng)。換上誰(shuí)，也都急切想知道中間有什么故事。值得慶幸的是，蘇姍娜肚子里藏不住事，是個(gè)有話就說(shuō)的人。

“How on earth did you ever get to know him?”I asked.
“你到底是怎么和他相識(shí)的？”我問(wèn)道。

“Oh, it was years ago. Six years, seven years, I forget.Odette was only five.He knew Marcel when I was living with him.He used to come to the studio and sit while I was posing.He'd take us out to dinner sometimes.You never knew when he'd come.Sometimes not for weeks and then two or three days running.Marcel used to like to have him there；he said he painted better when he was there.Then I had my typhoid.I went through a bad time when I came out of the hospital.”She shrugged her shoulders.“But I've already told you all that.Well, one day I'd been round the studios trying to get work and no one wanted me, and I'd had nothing but a glass of milk and a croissant all day and I didn’t know how I was going to pay for my room, and I met him accidentally on the Boulevard Clichy.He stopped and asked me how I was and I told him about my typhoid, and then he said to me：‘You look as if you could do with a square meal.’And there was something in his voice and in the look of his eyes that broke me；I began to cry.
“哦，那是多年前的事了。是七年前還是八年前，我記不得了。奧德特那時(shí)才五歲。他認(rèn)識(shí)馬塞爾，而我和馬塞爾住在一起。他常來(lái)畫(huà)室看馬塞爾畫(huà)我，有時(shí)候就約我們出去吃飯。你說(shuō)不準(zhǔn)他什么時(shí)候就會(huì)冒出來(lái)。有時(shí)候幾個(gè)星期不見(jiàn)他的面，隨后又連著兩三天往我們那兒跑。馬塞爾喜歡讓他來(lái)，說(shuō)有他在跟前，自己的畫(huà)會(huì)畫(huà)得好些。后來(lái)，我染上傷寒住進(jìn)醫(yī)院，出院后一下子陷入了困境。”說(shuō)到此處，她聳了聳肩膀，這些事以前都給你講過(guò)了。一天，我到各個(gè)畫(huà)室里去，想找份工作，卻沒(méi)人愿意要我。整整一天，我只喝了一杯牛奶，吃了一只羊角面包，晚上連住宿費(fèi)都沒(méi)有。走到克利希大街，不知怎么卻碰上了拉里。他停住腳步，問(wèn)我日子過(guò)得怎么樣。我把生病的事給他說(shuō)了。他聽(tīng)后對(duì)我說(shuō)：‘你看上去得先吃頓飽飯。’他的聲音和眼神里有一種東西叫我十分感動(dòng)，弄得我哭了起來(lái)。

“We were next door to La Mère Mariette and he took me by the arm and sat me down at a table.I was so hungry I was ready to eat an old boot, but when the omelette came I felt I couldn’t eat a thing.He forced me to take a little and he gave me a glass of burgundy.I felt better then and I ate some asparagus.I told him all my troubles.I was too weak to hold a pose.I was just skin and bone and I looked terrible；I couldn’t expect to get a man.I asked him if he’d lend me the money to go back to my village.At least I’d have my little girl there.He asked me if I wanted to go, and I said of course not.Mamma didn’t want me, she could hardly live on her pension with prices the way they were, and the money I’d sent for Odette had all been spent, but if I appeared at the door she would hardly refuse to take me in, she’d see how ill I looked.He looked at me for a long time, and I thought he was going to say he couldn’t lend me anything.Then he said：“‘Would you like me to take you down to a little place I know in the country, you and the kid?I want a bit of a holiday.' “I could hardly believe my ears. I'd known him for ages and he'd never made a pass at me. “‘In the condition I'm in?'I said. I couldn't help laughing.‘My poor friend，'I said，‘I'm no use to any man just now.’
我們站的那個(gè)地方隔壁就是馬里埃特大媽餐館。他挽起我的胳膊走進(jìn)去，尋一張餐桌叫我坐下。我肚子餓極了，覺(jué)得自己恐怕連整整一頭牛都能吞下肚?？墒?，夾著蔬菜和肉的煎蛋卷端上來(lái)時(shí)，我卻一口也吃不下去了。他逼著我吃了一些，然后給我要了杯勃艮第葡萄酒。一杯酒下肚，我感覺(jué)精神了些，然后又吃了點(diǎn)炒蘆筍。接下來(lái)，我就大倒苦水，把滿腹的委屈都告訴了他。我弱不禁風(fēng)，當(dāng)不成模特兒；又瘦得皮包骨頭，面容憔悴，根本沒(méi)指望能找個(gè)情夫。我問(wèn)他能不能借給我一點(diǎn)錢(qián)，助我回老家去——起碼，我還有個(gè)小女兒在那里呢。他問(wèn)我是不是真的想回去，我說(shuō)當(dāng)然并非真的想回。媽媽不會(huì)愿意接收我的。物價(jià)那么高，靠那點(diǎn)撫恤金，她的處境舉步維艱；我寄給奧德特的錢(qián)已經(jīng)全部花光。不過(guò)，到了家門(mén)口，她見(jiàn)我病成這個(gè)樣子，恐怕也不會(huì)將我拒之門(mén)外的。拉里看著我，看了好長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，我以為他會(huì)拒絕我，不愿借錢(qián)給我呢，然而卻聽(tīng)他這樣說(shuō)：‘你愿不愿隨我去鄉(xiāng)下的一個(gè)地方，把你的孩子也帶上？我剛好也需要休一段時(shí)間的假?！液?jiǎn)直不敢相信自己的耳朵，因?yàn)槲艺J(rèn)識(shí)他那么久，沒(méi)見(jiàn)他對(duì)我有過(guò)意思。 ‘就憑我現(xiàn)在這副模樣，你還要我？’我說(shuō)完，忍不住大笑起來(lái)，‘可憐的朋友，我眼下這副慘象，任何男人都不會(huì)要我的?！?/p>

“He smiled at me. Have you ever noticed what a wonderful smile he's got?It's as sweet as honey.
他聽(tīng)了沖我莞爾一笑。他的笑是那么迷人，你注意過(guò)沒(méi)有？那種笑容甜如蜜糖。

“‘Don't be so silly，'he said.‘I'm not thinking of that.'
‘別胡扯，’他說(shuō)，‘我指的不是那檔子事?！?/p>

“I was crying so hard by then, I could hardly speak. He gave me money to fetch the child and we all went to the country together.Oh, it was charming, the place he took us to.”
“我當(dāng)時(shí)感動(dòng)得哭成了淚人兒，連話都說(shuō)不出了。他給我錢(qián)，把孩子接出來(lái)，我們一起到了鄉(xiāng)下。啊，他領(lǐng)我們母女去的那個(gè)地方真是美極了?！?/p>

Suzanne described it to me. It was three miles from a little town the name of which I have forgotten, and they took a car out to the inn.It was a ramshackle building on a river with a lawn that ran down to the water.There were plane trees on the lawn and they had their meals in their shade.In summer artists came there to paint, but it was early for that yet and they had the inn to themselves.The fare was famous, and on Sundays people used to drive from here and there to lunch with abandon, but on week-days their peace was seldom disturbed.With the rest and the food and wine, Suzanne grew stronger, and she was happy to have her child with her.
蘇姍娜對(duì)我把那地方描繪了一番，說(shuō)那兒離一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)有三英里遠(yuǎn)（小鎮(zhèn)的名字我記不起來(lái)了）。他們乘汽車去了一家客棧。客棧是一幢搖搖欲墜的房屋，位于河畔，房前有一片草坪直達(dá)水邊。草坪上長(zhǎng)著幾棵梧桐樹(shù)，他們就在樹(shù)蔭下吃飯。夏天會(huì)有畫(huà)家到那兒寫(xiě)生，但他們?nèi)r(shí)，還未到寫(xiě)生季，所以客棧里只有他們幾個(gè)客人。客棧里的飯菜聞名遐邇。每逢星期天，人們會(huì)開(kāi)著車趕來(lái)大快朵頤。但是在別的日子里，他們寧?kù)o的生活很少受到打攪。蘇姍娜得到充足的休息，享用著好酒好肉，身體逐漸好了起來(lái)。而且，有孩子在身邊，這叫她感到很幸福。

“He was sweet with Odette and she adored him. I had to prevent her from making a nuisance of herself, but he never seemed to mind how much she pestered him.It used to make me laugh, they were like two children together.”
“他對(duì)奧德特非常好，奧德特也很喜歡他。她老纏著拉里，我攔都攔不住，可拉里好像并不介意她的糾纏。他倆在一起，就像兩個(gè)不懂事的小孩子，常常逗得我大笑不止。”

“What did you do with yourselves?”I asked.
“你們都做些什么呢？”我問(wèn)。

“Oh, there was always something to do. We used to take a boat and fish and sometimes we'd get the patron to lend us his Citro?n and we’d go into town.Larry liked it.The old houses and the place.It was so quiet that your footsteps on the cobblestones were the only sound you heard.There was a Louis Quatorze h?tel de ville and an old church, and at the edge of the town was the chateau with a garden by Le N?tre.When you sat at the café on the place you had the feeling that you had stepped back three hundred years and the Citro?n at the kerb didn’t seem to belong to this world at all.”
“哦，總有事做的。有時(shí)劃船、釣魚(yú)，有時(shí)則把客棧老板的雪鐵龍牌汽車借來(lái)開(kāi)著到鎮(zhèn)上去。拉里喜歡那個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)。那兒有古老的房屋和廣場(chǎng)，周圍異常安靜，鴉雀無(wú)聲，只能聽(tīng)得到你自己走在石板路上的腳步聲。鎮(zhèn)上有一個(gè)路易十四時(shí)期的市政廳和一座老教堂；小鎮(zhèn)邊上矗立著一座城堡和一個(gè)勒諾特爾設(shè)計(jì)的花園。當(dāng)你坐在廣場(chǎng)旁的咖啡店里的時(shí)候，你會(huì)覺(jué)得時(shí)光倒流，又回到了三百年前，而馬路邊停放的那輛雪鐵龍好像根本不屬于這個(gè)世界?！?/p>

It was after one of these outings that Larry told her the story of the young airman which I narrated at the beginning of this book.
在一次出游之后，拉里把本書(shū)開(kāi)頭時(shí)所講過(guò)的那個(gè)年輕飛行員的故事告訴了蘇姍娜。

“I wonder why he told you，”I said.
“真不明白他為什么給你講這個(gè)?！蔽艺f(shuō)道。

“I haven't an idea. They'd had a hospital in the town during the war and in the cemetery there were rows and rowsof little crosses.We went to see it.We didn't stay long, it gave me the creeps-all those poor boys lying there.Larry was very silent on the way home.He never ate much, but at dinner he hardly touched a thing.I remember so well, it was a beautiful, starry night and we sat on the riverbank, it was pretty with the poplars silhouetted against the darkness, and he smoked his pipe.And suddenly，à propos de bottes, he told me about his friend and how he died to save him.”Suzanne took a swig of beer.“He’s a strange creature.I shall never understand him.He used to like to read to me.Sometimes in the daytime, while I sewed things for the little one, and in the evening after I’d put her to bed.”
“我也不知道為什么。戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)期間，小鎮(zhèn)上有所醫(yī)院和一座公墓，公墓里有一排排的十字架。我們?nèi)ツ莾嚎催^(guò)，沒(méi)有久留。那地方叫我毛骨悚然——那么多可憐的年輕人長(zhǎng)眠在那兒。返回的路上，拉里默默無(wú)語(yǔ)。他平時(shí)就吃得不多，而那天晚飯時(shí)幾乎粒米未進(jìn)。我記得非常清楚，那天的夜晚很美，滿天的星，我們坐在河沿上，白楊樹(shù)在黑暗中影影綽綽的，景色很美，拉里抽著煙斗。忽然間，非常突兀地，他講起了他的那位朋友，說(shuō)那位朋友為了他而獻(xiàn)出了生命?！碧K姍娜喝了一口啤酒，又說(shuō)了下去，“他是個(gè)怪人。我永遠(yuǎn)也理解不透他。他喜歡念書(shū)給我聽(tīng)，有時(shí)是在白天，我邊聽(tīng)邊給小家伙縫縫補(bǔ)補(bǔ)，有時(shí)是在晚上，在我打發(fā)小家伙睡覺(jué)之后。”

“What did he read?”
“他都念些什么？”

“Oh, all sorts of things. Letters of Madame de Sévigné and bits of Saint-Simon.Imagine-toi, I who’d never read anything before but the newspaper and now and then a novel when I heard them talk about it in the studios and didn’t want them to think me a fool！I had no idea reading could be so interesting.Those old writers weren’t such fatheads as one would think.”
“形形色色的，什么都有。其中有塞維尼夫人的《書(shū)簡(jiǎn)集》，也有圣西蒙的《回憶錄》。想想看，我以前除了報(bào)紙什么都不看，有時(shí)偶爾讀上一本小說(shuō)，也是在畫(huà)室里聽(tīng)別人議論，又不愿讓他們把我當(dāng)白癡看待，才去讀的。想不到讀書(shū)竟能引人入勝。其實(shí)，過(guò)去的那些作品并非像人們想象的那么枯燥乏味?！?/p>

“Who would think?”I chuckled.
“誰(shuí)會(huì)那么想象呢？”我撲哧笑了。

“Then he made me read with him. We read Phèdre and Bèrènice.He took the men’s parts and I took the women’s.You can’t think how amusing it was, she added na?vely.“He used to look at me so strangely when I cried at the pathetic parts.Of course it was only because I hadn’t got my strength.And you know, I’ve still got the books.Even now I can’t read some of the letters of Madame de Sévigné that he read to me without hearing his lovely voice and without seeing the river flowing so quietly and the poplars on the opposite bank, and sometimes I can’t go on, it gives me such a pain in my heart.I know now that those were the happiest weeks I ever spent in my life.That man, he’s an angel of sweetness.”
“后來(lái)，他叫我跟他一起念。我們一起念《費(fèi)德?tīng)枴泛汀敦惱倌萁z》。他念男人的臺(tái)詞，我念女人的臺(tái)詞。你都不知道那是多么有意思。”她天真地補(bǔ)充了一句，“念到催人淚下的臺(tái)詞，我會(huì)泣不成聲，而他則用不解的目光望著我。當(dāng)然嘍，我的身體還沒(méi)有恢復(fù)過(guò)來(lái)，才那么多愁善感。實(shí)不相瞞，那些書(shū)我至今還保留著呢。即便在今日，看看他曾給我念過(guò)的塞維尼夫人的《書(shū)簡(jiǎn)集》，似乎仍能聽(tīng)見(jiàn)他那可愛(ài)的聲音，仍能看見(jiàn)靜靜流淌的河水以及對(duì)岸婆娑的樹(shù)影。有的時(shí)候，拿起書(shū)我都看不下去，只覺(jué)得心里隱隱作痛。現(xiàn)在我認(rèn)識(shí)到那幾個(gè)星期是我一生中最快樂(lè)的時(shí)光。他這個(gè)人，真是像天使一樣可愛(ài)?！?/p>

Suzanne felt she was growing sentimental and feared（wrongly）that I should laugh at her. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled.
蘇姍娜覺(jué)得自己有點(diǎn)感情沖動(dòng)，生怕我會(huì)笑她（這是錯(cuò)誤的判斷）。講到這里，她聳了聳肩膀，笑著說(shuō)：

“You know, I've always made up my mind that when I've reached the canonical age and no man wants to sleep with me any more I shall make my peace with the Church and repent of my sins. But the sins I committed with Larry nothing in the world will ever induce me to repent of.Never, never, never！”
“要知道，我心里也盤(pán)算好了，等到我人老珠黃，沒(méi)有男人愿意跟我睡覺(jué)時(shí)，我就皈依教門(mén)，懺悔自己的罪惡?？墒?，我和拉里犯下的那些罪惡，我無(wú)論如何也不會(huì)懺悔的。絕不，絕不懺悔！”

“But as you've described it I can see nothing you can possibly have to repent of.”
“可是，根據(jù)你的描述，實(shí)在看不出來(lái)你有什么可懺悔的。”

“I haven't told you the half of it yet. You see, I have a naturally good constitution and being out in the air all day, eating well, sleeping well, with not a care in the world, in three or four weeks I was as strong as ever I'd been.And I was looking well；I had colour in my cheeks and my hair had recovered its sheen.I felt twenty.Larry swam in the river every morning and I used to watch him.He has a beautiful body, not an athlete's like my Scandinavian, but strong and of an infinite grace.
故事的后半截我還沒(méi)講呢。你也可以看得到，我的身體素質(zhì)原本是很好的，那段時(shí)間成天在戶外待著，吃得好，睡得香，無(wú)憂無(wú)慮，不出三四個(gè)星期，我就跟從前一樣健健康康的了，樣子也好看了，臉蛋紅紅的，頭發(fā)有了光澤，感覺(jué)就像二十歲一樣。拉里每天早上在河里游泳，我時(shí)常在一旁看他。他的身體長(zhǎng)得很美，不像我那個(gè)斯堪的納維亞人的運(yùn)動(dòng)員型的身體，而是結(jié)實(shí)有力，非常入眼。

“He'd been very patient while I was so weak, but now that I was perfectly well I saw no reason to keep him waiting any longer. I gave him a hint or two that I was ready for anything, but he didn't seem to understand.Of course you Anglo-Saxons are peculiar, you're brutal and at the same time you're sentimental；there's no denying it, you’re not good lovers.I said to myself，‘Perhaps it’s his delicacy, he’s done so much for me, he’s let me have the child here, it may be that he hasn’t the heart to ask me for the return that is his right.’So one night, as we were going to bed, I said to him，‘D’you want me to come to your room tonight?’”
“我身體差的時(shí)候，他表現(xiàn)得相當(dāng)有耐心，現(xiàn)在徹底恢復(fù)了健康，就沒(méi)有理由叫他再繼續(xù)等下去了。于是，我向他暗示了一兩次，表示我已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好了，可他好像不明白似的。當(dāng)然，你們盎格魯撒克遜人是很怪的，野蠻粗魯，同時(shí)又多愁善感。談情說(shuō)愛(ài)并非你們的長(zhǎng)項(xiàng)，這是無(wú)法否認(rèn)的。我對(duì)自己說(shuō)：‘也許，他比較含蓄吧。他為我做了那么多的事情，還讓我把孩子也帶了來(lái)，可能不愿叫我報(bào)答他的恩情。反正他有他的理由?！惶煲估?，大家都準(zhǔn)備睡覺(jué)時(shí)，我對(duì)他說(shuō)：‘今天夜里，你要我到你的房間嗎？’”

I laughed.
我聽(tīng)了哈哈大笑。

“You put it a bit bluntly, didn't you?”
“你說(shuō)話可有點(diǎn)太直白了，是不是？”

“Well, I couldn't ask him to come to mine, because Odette was sleeping there，”she answered ingenuously.“He looked at me with those kind eyes of his for a moment, then he smiled.‘D'you want to come?'he said.
“這個(gè)嘛，我又不能讓他來(lái)我的房間，因?yàn)閵W德特睡在里邊?！彼手钡鼗卮鹫f(shuō)，他用他那雙和善的眼睛看了我一下，然后笑瞇瞇地問(wèn)：‘你愿意來(lái)嗎？’

“‘What do you think-with that fine body of yours?'
‘你的身體那么誘人，你說(shuō)我能不愿意嗎？’

“‘All right, come then.'
‘好吧，那你就來(lái)吧?！?/p>

“I went upstairs and undressed and then I slipped along the passage to his room. He was lying in bed reading and smoking a pipe.He put down his pipe and his book and moved over to make room for me.”
“我上了樓，脫掉衣服，然后，沿著過(guò)道溜進(jìn)他的房間。他正躺在床上看書(shū)，抽著煙斗。見(jiàn)了我，他便放下煙斗和書(shū)，挪挪身子，給我騰出點(diǎn)地方?！?/p>

Suzanne was silent for a while and it went against my grain to ask her questions. But after a while she went on.
說(shuō)到此處，蘇姍娜沉默了一會(huì)兒。我也不好意思再朝下問(wèn)。不過(guò)，過(guò)了片刻，她又繼續(xù)說(shuō)了下去。

“He was a strange lover. Very sweet, affectionate and even tender, virile without being passionate, if you understand what I mean, and absolutely without vice.He loved like a hot-blooded schoolboy.It was rather funny and rather touching.When I left him I had the feeling that I should be grateful to him rather than he to me.As I closed the door I saw him take up his book and go on reading from where he had left off.”
“他是個(gè)很奇怪的情人，和藹可親、感情真摯，甚至可以說(shuō)是溫柔體貼，散發(fā)著陽(yáng)剛之氣，卻并非激情勃發(fā)，希望你能理解我的意思——他的情欲是純真無(wú)邪的。他的那種愛(ài)情就像熱血沸騰的青年學(xué)生的戀情。當(dāng)時(shí)的情形很滑稽，卻又令人十分感動(dòng)。我離開(kāi)時(shí)，覺(jué)得應(yīng)當(dāng)是我感謝他，而不是他感謝我。當(dāng)我?guī)祥T(mén)時(shí)，看見(jiàn)他又拿起書(shū)，從剛才中斷的地方繼續(xù)看了下去?！?/p>

I began to laugh.
我一聽(tīng)又大笑起來(lái)。

“I'm glad it amuses you，”she said a trifle grimly. But she was not without a sense of humour.She giggled.“I soon discovered that if I waited for an invitation I might wait indefinitely, so when I felt like it I just went into his room and got into bed.He was always very nice.He had in short natural human instincts, but he was like a man so preoccupied that he forgets to eat, yet when you put a good dinner before him he eats it with appetite.I know when a man's in love with me, and I should have been a fool if I'd believed that Larry loved me, but I thought he'd get into the habit of me.One has to be practical in life and I said to myself that it would suit me very well if when we went back to Paris he took me to live with him.I knew he'd let me have the child and I should have liked that.My instinct told me I’d be silly to fall in love with him, you know women are very unfortunate, so often when they fall in love they cease to be lovable, and I made up my mind to be on my guard.”
“很高興這能叫你感到開(kāi)心?！彼悬c(diǎn)不快地說(shuō)。不過(guò)，她自己也覺(jué)得有點(diǎn)滑稽，便也咯咯笑了起來(lái)?！拔液芸炀桶l(fā)現(xiàn)，要是等他邀請(qǐng)我，那就等八輩子也等不來(lái)。所以，我一旦想干那種事，就溜進(jìn)他的房間，爬上他的床。每一次他都來(lái)者不拒。按說(shuō)，他也有人的那種自然本能，然而他卻像個(gè)心不在焉的人，有時(shí)會(huì)忘記吃飯，當(dāng)你把豐盛的飯菜擺在他面前時(shí)，他則吃得津津有味。一個(gè)人愛(ài)不愛(ài)我，我是清楚的。如果我認(rèn)為拉里愛(ài)我，那我就是個(gè)傻瓜。但我認(rèn)為，這樣的生活方式他終究會(huì)習(xí)慣的。一個(gè)人，是必須講求實(shí)際的。我心想，如果回到巴黎，他讓我和他一道生活，我會(huì)很高興的。我知道他一定會(huì)叫我把孩子留在身邊，這一點(diǎn)非常合我的意。我的本能告誡我，只有傻瓜才會(huì)墜入情網(wǎng)。你知道女人是很不幸的，一旦墜入情網(wǎng)，就變得不可愛(ài)了。我決定讓自己時(shí)刻保持警惕，絕不栽這個(gè)跟頭?！?/p>

Suzanne inhaled the smoke of her cigarette and blew it out through her nose. It was growing late and many of the tables were now empty, but there was still a group of people hanging around the bar.
蘇姍娜抽了一口香煙，然后把煙從鼻孔里噴出來(lái)。時(shí)間已晚，許多桌子都已經(jīng)空了。不過(guò)，仍有一些顧客圍坐在吧臺(tái)那兒。

“One morning, after breakfast, I was sitting on the riverbank sewing, and Odette was playing with some bricks he'd bought her when Larry came up to me.
一天上午，吃過(guò)了早飯，我坐在河畔做針線活，奧德特在玩拉里給她買(mǎi)的積木。就在這時(shí)，拉里走到了我跟前。

“‘I've come to say good-bye to you，'he said.
‘我是來(lái)向你告別的?！f(shuō)。

“‘Are you going somewhere?'I said, surprised.
‘你要走了嗎？’我詫異地問(wèn)。

“‘Yes.'
‘是的?！?/p>

“‘Not for good?'I said.
‘再不回來(lái)啦？’我問(wèn)道。

“‘You're quite well now. Here's enough money to keep you for the rest of the summer and to start you off when you get back to Paris.'
‘你現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)完全康復(fù)。這里有一筆錢(qián)夠你這個(gè)夏天用的，可以幫你回到巴黎后重新生活?！?/p>

“For a moment I was so upset I didn't know what to say. He stood in front of me, smiling in that candid way of his.
一時(shí)間，我心里非常難過(guò)，都不知道說(shuō)什么好了。他站在我的面前，笑吟吟的，笑容仍是那般燦爛。

“‘Have I done something to displease you?'I asked him.
‘我是不是有哪些地方叫你不高興啦？’我問(wèn)他。

“‘Nothing. Don't think that for a moment.I've got work to do.We've had a lovely time down here.Odette, come and say good-bye to your uncle.'
‘沒(méi)有的事。千萬(wàn)別這么想。我有工作要做。在這兒，咱們度過(guò)了一段美好的時(shí)光。奧德特，到這兒來(lái)，跟叔叔說(shuō)再見(jiàn)。’

“She was too young to understand. He took her up in his arms and kissed her；then he kissed me and walked back into the hotel；in a minute I heard the car drive away.I looked at the banknotes I had in my hand.Twelve thousand francs.It came so quickly I hadn't time to react.‘Zut alors，'I said to myself.I had at least one thing to be thankful for, I hadn't allowed myself to fall in love with him.But I couldn't make head or tail of it.”
“孩子太小，不知道是怎么回事。拉里把她抱起來(lái)吻了吻，然后也吻了我。隨即，他回到了客棧去，不一會(huì)兒我就聽(tīng)見(jiàn)了汽車開(kāi)走的聲音。我看了看他塞入我手里的鈔票，竟有一萬(wàn)兩千法郎之多。事情來(lái)得突然，我連反應(yīng)的時(shí)間都沒(méi)有?！媸腔钜?jiàn)鬼！’我對(duì)自己這么說(shuō)了一聲。起碼有一點(diǎn)得感謝上帝——幸好我沒(méi)有讓自己愛(ài)上他。他的所作所為，叫人感到一頭霧水?！?/p>

I was obliged to laugh.
我忍俊不禁，笑了起來(lái)。

“You know, at one time I made quite a little reputation for myself as a humorist by the simple process of telling the truth. It came as such a surprise to most people that they thought I was being funny.”
“要知道，過(guò)去有個(gè)時(shí)候，我只是把實(shí)情告訴世人，結(jié)果給自己贏得了一個(gè)幽默作家的美稱。大多數(shù)人都覺(jué)得意外，以為我在說(shuō)笑話?！?/p>

“I don't see the connexion.”
“我看不出你的話跟此事有什么聯(lián)系?！?/p>

“Well, Larry is, I think, the only person I've ever met who's completely disinterested. It makes his actions seem peculiar.We're not used to persons who do things simply for the love of God whom they don't believe in.”
“哦，這么說(shuō)吧——在我認(rèn)識(shí)的人當(dāng)中，拉里是唯一一個(gè)超然物外的人。這讓他的行為顯得很特殊。有一類人，他們并不相信上帝，所作所為卻都是為了上帝之愛(ài)，這類人是叫世人看不慣的?！?/p>

Suzanne stared at me.
蘇姍娜望著我發(fā)呆。

“My poor friend, you've had too much to drink.”
“我可憐的朋友，你的酒喝得太多了?！?/p>