That meeting with Mr Dimmesdale on the scaffold worried Hester Prynne greatly. She saw the young priest's weakness and his misery, and how close he was to madness; she heard the terror in his voice as he asked her for help. And she decided he had a right to all the help she could give him.
Her position in the town was now rather different. In the seven years since Pearl was born, Hester had worn the scarlet letter patiently and had led a hard-working and blameless life. People no longer hated her; some even respected her.
She is always ready to give what she can to the poor,' they said, 'although she gets little thanks for the food she takes to them, or the clothes she makes for them.'
And whenever a house was darkened by trouble, Hester was there with warm and kindly words, and the offer of help. But when sunshine came again, she left without looking back or waiting for the grateful thanks of those who had been troubled. And afterwards, when she saw them in the street, she did not lift her head to speak to them but put her finger on her scarlet letter of shame, and passed by.
Beneath her calmness, however, there had often been great loneliness and suffering. These had made her strong and she now felt able to face the man who had once been her husband. It was clear to Hester that this man was the priest's secret enemy, playing the part of a friend and helper, and slowly but surely driving the priest into madness.
In short, she decided to talk to Roger Chillingworth, and to do what she could to stop his cruel and evil revenge.
She did not have long to wait. One afternoon, while walking with Pearl along the beach, she saw the old doctor with a basket in one hand and a stick in the other. He was collecting plants.
Go down to the water and play while I talk to this gentleman,' Hester told her daughter.
The child flew away like a bird, her small white feet making patterns in the wet sand at the edge of the sea. Her mother walked up to Roger Chillingworth.
I would like to speak to you,' she said.
Ah! Mistress Hester!' he answered. 'I hear news of your good work from everyone I speak to. Only yesterday a magistrate whispered to me that the officers of the town were discussing whether the scarlet letter could now be taken off your bosom. "You should do it at once," I told him.'
It is not for some magistrate to take off this letter,' Hester replied calmly. 'When—if ever—I earn the right to be rid of it, it will fall off without anyone's help.'
Wear it, then, if you want to,' said Chillingworth. 'It is a fine piece of needlework and looks well on your bosom.'
While they spoke, Hester had been watching him closely and was full of wonder at the change she saw in him. He was no longer the calm, intelligent man she remembered; now there was a cruel, searching look in his eyes, and a cold half-smile came and went on his face. Seven years of getting enjoyment from a cruel revenge had left the Devil's mark on him. His soul seems to be on fire! Hester thought.
I want to speak to you about Mr Dimmesdale,' she said.
And what about him?' cried Roger Chillingworth. 'Speak freely, and I will answer.'
When we last spoke together, seven years ago,' Hester said, 'you made me promise not to tell anyone that we once lived as husband and wife. I agreed to be silent because, as you said then, his position and his life were in your hands. But I see now that I was wrong to keep silent. Since that day, you have been beside him, sleeping and waking. You search his thoughts and his heart, and each day you cause him to die a living death! And it is I who have allowed this to happen!'
What else can you do?' asked Chillingworth. 'A word from me, and this man would be thrown from his church into a prison—and from there, to the scaffold!'
Perhaps that would be better!' said Hester. 'Haven't you had your revenge? Hasn't he suffered enough for his sins?'
No!' answered the doctor. 'Do you remember me, Hester, as I was nine years ago? You thought I was cold, perhaps, but was I not kind and true, and a good friend to others?'
Yes,' said Hester. 'All that, and more.'
And what am I now?' he asked, and his face showed the evil that was in him. 'A devil! And who made me this?'
It was me,' said Hester, trembling. 'Me, as much as he. So why didn't you punish me?'
You had the scarlet letter,' he said. 'That was enough revenge for me.' He put his finger on it with a smile. 'Now, what do you want to say about this man?'
I must tell him the truth about you,' said Hester. 'He must know who you are, and why you are doing this to him. What the result will be, I do not know. Do what you want with him. But there is no good for him, no good for me, no good for you, no good for little Pearl. There is no path to guide any of us out of this misery.'
Roger Chillingworth stared at the tall, proud woman in front of him, and heard the pain in her voice. Did he then remember the love he had once felt for her?
I am sorry for you,' he said. 'You were a good person, and you needed a better love than mine.'
And I am sorry for you,' said Hester, 'and for the hate that has changed a wise and merciful man into a devil! Try to be human again! Forgive, and leave judgment to God!'
That is not possible,' replied the old man. 'You planted the evil, and now its black flowers are growing. We cannot change the way things are.'
He turned and walked away, and a dark shadow seemed to follow him along the ground.
Hester stared after him. 'I hate the man!' she whispered to herself. 'How I wish I had never married him!' She turned to look for her child. 'Pearl! Little Pearl! Where are you?'
The child had been busy while her mother had been talking. First she had played at the edge of the water, then she had made little boats out of pieces of wood. Then, seeing some birds feeding on the beach, she had picked up some stones and thrown them until one little grey bird had flown away with a broken wing. For her last game, Pearl collected some grass and used it to make a letter A on her chest.
Will Mother ask me what it means?' she wondered.
Then she heard her mother calling and, moving as lightly as one of the little sea-birds, she appeared beside Hester and pointed her finger towards the letter A on her bosom.
My little Pearl,' said Hester, after a moment's silence, 'the green letter means nothing on your childish bosom. But do you know why your mother wears it?'
Oh, yes!' said Pearl, smiling. 'It is for the same reason that the priest puts his hand over his heart!'
And what reason is that?' asked Hester.
I don't know,' replied Pearl. 'Mother, what does this scarlet letter mean? Why do you wear it on your bosom? And why does the priest keep his hand over his heart?'
Hester stared down into her daughter's black eyes. What should she say? The truth? No! If that was the price of the child's understanding, she could not pay it.
Silly Pearl!' she said. 'There are many things in this world that a child must not ask about. What do I know about the priest's heart? And as for the scarlet letter, I wear it for its gold thread.'
It was the first time that Hester had lied about the letter, and the child did not stop asking the same questions. Two or three times on the way home, several times at supper, and again the next morning, Pearl asked, 'Mother, Mother, what does the scarlet letter mean?' and 'Why does the priest keep his hand over his heart?'
Stop it!' Hester said, in a sharper voice than she had ever used before. 'Stop it, or I'll shut you in the dark cupboard!'
misery n. great suffering or discomfort 痛苦;苦難
searching look a look from someone who is trying to find out as much as possible about someone's thoughts and feelings 探究的目光
cupboard n. a piece of furniture with doors, and sometimes shelves, used for storing clothes, plates, food etc. 櫥柜
在絞刑臺和丁梅斯代爾先生的會面使赫斯特·普林深感憂慮。她看到了年輕牧師的脆弱和痛苦,還有他瀕臨顛狂的狀態(tài)。她聽得出當他向她求助時聲音中的驚恐。她認為他有權要她傾力相助。
如今她在小鎮(zhèn)上的地位已經和原來不一樣了。在珍珠出生后的這七年當中,她耐心地佩戴著那個紅字,過著艱辛卻無可指責的生活。人們不再恨她;她甚至還贏得了一些人的尊重。
“她總是隨時準備去盡力幫助窮人,”他們說,“雖然她給人縫衣送食很少能得到感謝。”
不論何時,只要有人被憂愁困擾,她總會出現,用好言撫慰,并主動提供幫助。但當情況好轉的時候,她會頭也不回地離開,從來不期望那些在困苦中得到過她幫助的人向她致謝。此后,當她在街上遇到他們,也從不抬頭和他們說話,只用手指按住那個恥辱紅字,側身而過。
然而,她平靜的外表下卻埋藏著難以承受的孤獨和痛苦。正是這些遭遇使她堅強,使她現在可以去面對前夫。赫斯特很清楚,這個男人就是牧師的秘密敵人,他扮演著一個朋友和救護者的角色,其實卻在緩慢而堅定地將牧師推向瘋狂。
總之,她打定主意去和羅杰·奇林沃思談談,竭盡全力去阻止他那殘忍、邪惡的復仇。
機會很快就來了。一天下午,她帶著珍珠沿海邊散步,看見了那位老醫(yī)生。他一手挽著籃子,另一只手拄著拐杖,正在采集藥草。
“去到水邊玩吧,我要和這位先生談一談。”赫斯特告訴她的女兒。
這孩子像小鳥一樣飛走了,雪白的小腳丫在海邊濕潤的沙地上留下了一串腳印。她的母親向羅杰·奇林沃思走去。
“我想和你談一談。”她說。
“啊哈!原來是赫斯特太太!”他回答道,“每個跟我談話的人都說到你的善舉。就在昨天,一位治安官還悄悄告訴我,鎮(zhèn)上的官員正在討論是否應該把你胸前的紅字取下來。‘你們應該馬上這么做。’我這樣跟他說。”
“取下這個字不是靠哪個地方治安官。”赫斯特平靜地回應道,“當我贏得取下它的權利——如果有那么一天的話——它自然會掉下去,不需要任何人的幫助。”
“你要是樂意,那就戴著吧。”奇林沃思說,“那是件不錯的針線活兒,戴在你胸前挺好看的。”
在他倆談話時,赫斯特一直仔細地打量著老人,她驚奇地注意到他發(fā)生了多么明顯的變化,原來印象中的那個平和、聰慧的人如今已經蹤影皆無,現在的他眼神殘忍,隨時窺探著什么,一絲冷笑在臉上時隱時現。七年中,他從殘忍的報復中尋求快感,這在他臉上也留下了魔鬼的印記。“他的靈魂正在灼燒!”赫斯特想。
“我想和你談談有關丁梅斯代爾先生的事。”她說。
“他有什么好談的?”羅杰·奇林沃思叫起來,“想說什么就說吧,我會回答的。”
“我們上次在一起交談是七年以前,”赫斯特說,“當時你要我答應不告訴任何人我們曾是夫妻。我答應緘口不言,因為你說那個人的生命和地位全都握在你的手心里。但是我現在才覺得,我不該保持沉默。從那天以后,你就一直日夜不停地纏在他身邊,探究他的思想和內心,讓他每天都生不如死!都是由于我,才會發(fā)生這種事!”
“除此之外,你還能做些什么呢?”奇林沃思問道,“我只消說一句話,就可以把他從教堂投到監(jiān)獄中去——而且可以讓他從監(jiān)獄走上絞刑臺!”
“那樣也許倒好些!”赫斯特說,“你不是已經復仇了嗎?他不是已經為他的罪孽受盡折磨了嗎?”
“不!”醫(yī)生回答,“你還記得我九年前的樣子嗎,赫斯特?你可能認為我冷酷無情,可我不也曾經善良、真誠,是別人的益友嗎?”
“是的。”赫斯特說,“而且還不只這些。”
“可我現在成了什么樣子呢?”他問道,臉上顯露出邪惡的表情。“一個惡魔!是誰把我弄成這樣子的?”
“是我。”赫斯特顫抖著說,“是我,我的責任并不比他小??赡銥槭裁床粦土P我呢?”
“你有那個紅字。”他回答說,“那已經足以為我報復了。”他面帶微笑,把一個指頭放在紅字上面。“現在,關于那個男人你還想說些什么?”
“我必須告訴他你的真面目。”赫斯特說,“他必須知道你是誰,你為什么要這么對他。我不知道結果如何。你想對他干什么就干吧。但是那樣無論對他、對我、對你,或者對小珍珠都不會有任何好處。沒有任何出路能幫我們脫離這種痛苦。”
羅杰·奇林沃思盯著眼前這個高挑、驕傲的女人,聽出了她聲音中的痛苦。他是否記起了過去對她的愛戀呢?
“我真為你難過。”他說,“你是一個好人,本該享有比我更好的人所給予的愛。”
“我也為你難過。”赫斯特回答說,“因為仇恨已經把一個明智、寬容的人變成了惡魔!重新做回人吧!原諒一切,把審判留給上帝!”
“那不可能。”老人回答說,“你種下了罪惡的種子,現在開出了黑色的花朵。我們無法改變事情發(fā)展的方向。”
他轉身離去,身后的地上似乎拖著一道暗影。
赫斯特瞪著他的背影。“我恨這個人!”她喃喃自語道,“我真的希望從沒嫁給過他!”她轉過頭尋找她的孩子。“珍珠!小珍珠!你在哪兒?”
珍珠趁母親談話時一直玩得挺帶勁。她先是在水邊上玩,接著用碎木片搭了幾條小船。后來,她看到幾只小鳥在海灘上吃食,就拾起幾塊石頭向它們投去,直到一只灰色的小鳥拖著被打傷的翅膀飛走了。最后,珍珠拾了一些草,編成一個“A”字戴在胸前。
“媽媽會不會問我這是什么意思呢?”珍珠想道。
就在這時,她聽到了母親的召喚,于是像一只小海鳥似的輕盈地來到赫斯特的身旁,用手指指著自己胸前的“A”字。
“我的小珍珠,”赫斯特沉默了一會兒后說,“那綠色的字母戴在你稚氣的胸口上是沒有意義的。不過你知道媽媽為什么會戴上這個字母嗎?”
“噢,我知道!”珍珠笑著說,“這和牧師用手捂住心口的原因一樣!”
“那是什么原因呢?”赫斯特問。
“那我可就不知道了。”珍珠答道,“媽媽,這紅字是什么意思?為什么你要戴在胸前?為什么牧師總是把手捂在心口上?”
赫斯特凝視著女兒的黑眼睛。她應該說什么?事情的真相嗎?不!假如真相是讓這個孩子懂事的全部代價,她寧可不付這個代價。
“傻珍珠!”她說道,“這個世界上有很多事是小孩子不該問的。我怎么會知道牧師心里是怎樣想的呢?至于這個紅字,我戴著它是因為上面的金線。”
這是赫斯特第一次為紅字的事說謊,但那孩子仍不肯就此罷休。在回家的路上,她又問了兩三次,吃晚飯時也問了幾次,第二天早上她又問:“媽媽,媽媽,紅字是什么意思?”“為什么牧師要把手捂在心口上?”
“別問了!”她母親說,以前她從未用過這么嚴厲的語氣跟珍珠說話。“別問了,要不我就把你關進漆黑的櫥柜里去!”