You insist so much on my not neglecting my drawing, that it would be as well for me to say nothing as to confess how little I have lately done.
I never felt happier, I never understood nature better, even down to the veriest stem or smallest blade of grass; and yet I am unable to express myself: my powers of execution are so weak, everything seems to swim and float before me, so that I cannot make a clear, bold outline. But I fancy I should succeed better if I had some clay or wax to model. I shall try, if this state of mind continues much longer, and will take to modelling, if I only knead dough.
I have commenced Lotte’s portrait three times, and have as often disgraced myself. This is the more annoying, as I was formerly very happy in taking likenesses. I have since sketched her profile, and must content myself with that.
你是那么擔心,生怕我把畫畫給荒疏了,我本想壓根兒不提此事,免得告訴你說,近來我很少畫畫。
我從來還不曾如此幸福過;我對自然的感受,哪怕小到一塊石頭,一根青草,也從來還不曾這么充實,這么親切過。可是——我不知如何表達自己意思才好——我的想象力這么微弱,一切在我心里都游移不定,搖搖晃晃,我簡直抓不住任何輪廓。不過我仍自信,我要是手頭有黏土或者蠟泥,我也會塑造出點什么來的。要是黏土保存得更久,我就取黏土來捏,即便捏出些餅子也好。
綠蒂的肖像我已畫過三次,三次都出了丑。這事令我極為懊惱,尤其因為我前些時候一直很成功。后來我就畫了一張她的剪影像聊以自慰。