Believe me, dear Wilhelm, I did not allude to you when I spoke so severely of those who advise resignation to inevitable fate. I did not think it possible for you to indulge such a sentiment. But in fact you are right. I only suggest one objection. In this world one is seldom reduced to make a selection between two alternatives. There are as many varieties of conduct and opinion as there are turns of feature between an aquiline nose and a flat one.
You will, therefore, permit me to concede your entire argument, and yet contrive means to escape your dilemma.
Your position is this, I hear you say: “Either you have hopes of obtaining Lotte, or you have none. Well, in the first case, pursue your course, and press on to the fulfilment of your wishes. In the second, be a man, and shake off a miserable passion, which will enervate and destroy you.” My dear friend, this is well and easily said.
But would you require a wretched being, whose life is slowly wasting under a lingering disease, to despatch himself at once by the stroke of a dagger? Does not the very disorder which consumes his strength deprive him of the courage to effect his deliverance?
You may answer me, if you please, with a similar analogy, “Who would not prefer the amputation of an arm to the periling of life by doubt and procrastination!” But I know not if I am right, and let us leave these comparisons.
Enough! There are moments, Wilhelm, when I could rise up and shake it all off, and when, if I only knew where to go, I could fly from this place.
我請你原諒,親愛的威廉!我把那些要求我們服從不可抗拒的命運的人罵作廢物,的的確確并非指你。我實在沒有想到,你也會有類似想法。當然,從根本上講,你是對的。不過,好朋友,世上的事情很少能要么干脆這樣,要么干脆那樣。人的感情和行為千差萬別,正如在鷹鉤鼻子與塌鼻子之間,還可能有各式各樣別的鼻子。
你別見怪:我承認你的整個論點,卻又企圖從“要么這樣——要么那樣”這個空子中間鉆過去。
你說什么,“要么你有希望得到綠蒂,要么根本沒有。好啦,如果是第一種情況,你就努力實現它,努力滿足自己的愿望;否則,你就振作起來,擺脫那該死的感情,要不然它一定會把你的全部精力都吞掉?!薄门笥眩f得動聽!說得容易!
可是,對于一個受著慢性病摧殘而一步一步地走向死亡的人,難道你能要求他拿起刀來,一下子結束自己的痛苦么?病魔在耗盡他精力的同時,不也摧毀了他自我解脫的勇氣么?
當然,你滿可以用下面這個貼切的比喻來反駁我:誰不寧愿犧牲自己的一條胳膊,而是遲疑猶豫,甘冒丟掉生命的危險呢?
叫我怎么說好呢?——還是讓我們別用這些比喻來傷彼此的腦筋吧。夠了。
是的,威廉,我間或也在一瞬間有過振作起來、擺脫一切的勇氣,然而……要是我知道往哪兒去的話,我早就走了!