把愛(ài)人的注意力吸引回你身上
1.You have to turn the attention of your spouse's wandering eyes back to you.
你要把愛(ài)人的注意力吸引回你身上。
You do this by having "Date Nights." It can be three times a month at the very least, where you and your spouse get the chance to dress sexy and leave the kids with the babysitter or a family member.
你可以通過(guò)“約會(huì)之夜”來(lái)做到這點(diǎn)。至少一個(gè)月要約會(huì)三次,你和你的配偶就有機(jī)會(huì)打扮的非常性感,把孩子留給保姆或家里別的人照看。
Go to a place you haven't been in a long time and you both enjoy such as a fancy restaurant, a club, to play pool, or the movies, or even a bar. This night should be about rediscovering yourselves again and the fun part of you and your spouse, so try leaving the bossiness, jealousy, and talks about money and kids behind.
去一個(gè)你們很久沒(méi)去又都很喜歡的地方,比如說(shuō)一家高級(jí)餐廳、夜總會(huì),去打臺(tái)球、或看場(chǎng)電影,甚至去酒吧都可以。在這樣的夜晚應(yīng)該重新發(fā)現(xiàn)你自己,重拾你們之間的樂(lè)趣,所以試著把你的跋扈、猜忌和關(guān)于錢(qián)和孩子的問(wèn)題統(tǒng)統(tǒng)拋到腦后吧。
2.Hold hands.
手拉手。
It might be cheesy to some people and it may take getting used to but in fact holding hands builds a bond with your partner and it gives you a sense of romance sort of like when the two were boyfriend and girlfriend, or in the beginning of the relationship.
有些人可能覺(jué)著這有點(diǎn)俗氣,而且需要時(shí)間去習(xí)慣。但事實(shí)上,牽手能在你們之間建立一種紐帶,帶給你們做男女朋友時(shí)或戀愛(ài)初期那種浪漫感覺(jué)。
At first you might not feel comfortable and you might even be shy in public because you are not used to this, but this is romance and is intimacy.
最初你可能感覺(jué)不舒服,在公共場(chǎng)合甚至覺(jué)著不好意思,這是因?yàn)槟氵€沒(méi)有習(xí)慣,但這就是浪漫,這就是親密。
3.Share information with your spouse.
和他/她共享信息。
There are couples that don't even talk to each other anymore, or when they do is only talks of money, kids, and schedule.
有的夫妻甚至都不和對(duì)方聊天,或只聊錢(qián)、孩子和日程安排。
Take the time to ask your spouse how their day was. If they are hesitant to share information and just answer with a mere fine, start the conversation. Tell them something that happened at your job or around the house, tell them something you might have discussed at work with your friends, or how your job is going. This will get them to want to share their information and they will also start building the habit of asking you how work was.
花點(diǎn)時(shí)間問(wèn)問(wèn)你的愛(ài)人一天過(guò)得怎么樣。如果他/她們有點(diǎn)猶豫不想說(shuō),只回答說(shuō)“還好”,那你就開(kāi)始跟他/她聊天。告訴他們你工作上或家里發(fā)生了什么,告訴他們你本來(lái)要和工作上的朋友討論的事,或者你的工作進(jìn)展得怎么樣。這會(huì)使他們想要和你分享他們的事,并開(kāi)始養(yǎng)成問(wèn)問(wèn)你工作的習(xí)慣。
4.Be kind to one another.
善待彼此。
Relationships that have lasted for a while tend to fall into habits and tricks, you get to know your partner's likes and dislike and so you know what they hate the most, what hurts their feelings, what makes them cry, or laugh. Some partners take advantage of this and decide to use this against one another.
關(guān)系發(fā)展到一定程度就容易養(yǎng)成一些習(xí)慣,會(huì)有竅門(mén)可循。你了解伴侶的好惡,所以你知道他們最討厭什么,什么能傷害他們的感情,什么使他們哭,什么使他們笑。有些夫妻就利用這一點(diǎn)來(lái)對(duì)付彼此。
Do not insult each other whether in public or in the privacy of the house. Insulting each other causes hurt feelings and the damage might be irreversible. Even if you are mad, try to refrain from using nicknames or curse words and saying things that you will later regret, because what you might be left with in the relationship is only resentment towards each other. Take the time to say nice things to your partner. Call them sweetie, honey, baby, and tell them how good they smell or anything that is kind and tender. This will make your partner feel love and will in turn make them treat you the same way.
無(wú)論在公共場(chǎng)合還是在家,都不要侮辱彼此。彼此侮辱會(huì)造成精神上的傷害,這種傷害可能是不可逆轉(zhuǎn)的。即使你氣得發(fā)瘋,也要努力避免叫對(duì)方的綽號(hào)或說(shuō)謾罵的話,避免說(shuō)出過(guò)后會(huì)使你后悔的話,因?yàn)槟銈冞@段關(guān)系中留給彼此的就只有怨恨了?;c(diǎn)時(shí)間跟對(duì)方說(shuō)好聽(tīng)的話,叫他們“親愛(ài)的”或“寶貝”,告訴他們身上的味道有多好聞,或跟他們說(shuō)好聽(tīng)的溫柔的話。這會(huì)使你的愛(ài)人感覺(jué)到愛(ài),并以同樣的方式來(lái)對(duì)待你。
5.Plan a vacation.
計(jì)劃一次度假。
Sometimes we just need to get away and go on vacation with our partners. Family, too much work, stress in the relationship, worries about bills or kids can also affect the relationship. Find a romantic getaway even if you are taking the kids with you. Book things to do and try new things with your partner to bond. Drink some champagne, listen to soft music, and light some candles. Romance is the key to staying in love. Do everything in the vacation with your partner.
有時(shí)我們只是需要走出去,和愛(ài)人去度個(gè)假。家庭、過(guò)多的工作、各種關(guān)系上的壓力、對(duì)賬單或孩子的擔(dān)憂也會(huì)影響到夫妻關(guān)系。即使帶著孩子旅行也要找一個(gè)浪漫的度假地點(diǎn),計(jì)劃好要做的事,和另一半一起嘗試新鮮事物來(lái)增進(jìn)你們之間的關(guān)系。喝點(diǎn)香檳,聽(tīng)聽(tīng)輕音樂(lè),再點(diǎn)上幾支蠟燭,浪漫就是愛(ài)情保鮮的關(guān)鍵,在度假期間和你的愛(ài)人做一切你們想做的事。
6.Always remember your partner's birthday.
牢記愛(ài)人的生日。
There’s nothing more awful than your partner forgetting your birthday or you forgetting theirs. No matter how old we get we should always remember their birthday and they should do the same. Even if you can't buy them an expensive birthday gift, just saying happy birthday and acknowledging their birthday will make them feel good.
沒(méi)有什么事比你的愛(ài)人忘記你的生日或你忘記他們的生日更糟糕了。無(wú)論我們多大年紀(jì),都應(yīng)該牢記他們的生日,他們也應(yīng)如此。即使你不能給他們買(mǎi)一份貴重的生日禮物,只說(shuō)一聲“生日快樂(lè)”來(lái)表明你記得他們的生日也會(huì)讓他們很開(kāi)心的。
7.Renew your vows.
重申你們的誓言。
Relive the moment of when the two of you decided to become one and you can even make it better this time.
重新體驗(yàn)一次你們決定結(jié)為夫妻的那一刻,這一次你們能做的更好。
When renewing your vows, you don't have to have a big celebration with all the friends you know and your partner know and the whole lot of people like the first time. It can be a small family and close friends’ celebration. The important thing this time around is creating your own vows. Take the time and think about all the things you like about your partner. This will make both of you remember and think of why you love each other and the things that you like about each other.
重申誓言時(shí),不必像第一次邀請(qǐng)所有親朋好友那樣隆重,僅限于家人和親近朋友在一起慶祝就可以。這次的重點(diǎn)是說(shuō)出你們自己的誓言,花時(shí)間想想你喜歡他/她的哪些方面。這會(huì)使你們兩個(gè)人想起,并明白你們?yōu)槭裁磹?ài)對(duì)方,你們愛(ài)對(duì)方的哪一點(diǎn)。
8.Hygiene is important for romance.
想要浪漫,個(gè)人衛(wèi)生很重要。
There is nothing worse than cuddling at nighttime with your partner only to find out they don't smell so good and then the moment is ruined.
沒(méi)有什么比晚上和愛(ài)人依偎在一起卻發(fā)現(xiàn)他們身上味道不好更糟糕了,美好的夜晚都被毀掉了。
9.Write love letters.
寫(xiě)情書(shū)。
This is something we, both women and men, have completely forgotten about. Don't we love those romantic movies about a letter such as message in a bottle? Why can't we have our own fairy tales? Well we might not have a fairy tale life but we can have our own romantic story.
這件事我們(無(wú)論男女)都已經(jīng)完全忘掉了。難道我們不喜歡那些把信(比如留言)裝在瓶子里的愛(ài)情影片嗎?為什么我們不能擁有自己的童話故事?可能我們沒(méi)有童話里的生活,但我們可以有自己的浪漫故事。
Sit down and think about all the things you like about your husband or wife, think about what made you fall in love with him or her and write it down in a piece of paper, then think about something you want to say to your love one. If this is difficult, think if it was your very last day on this earth or last day you were going to see them what did you want them to know?
你要坐下來(lái),想一想你的丈夫或妻子所有吸引你的地方,想一想是什么使你愛(ài)上他/她,把這些寫(xiě)在紙上,然后想想你想對(duì)你的摯愛(ài)說(shuō)的話。如果這對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)有點(diǎn)困難,那你就假設(shè)如果這是你的最后一天或者你能見(jiàn)到他們的最后一天,你想讓他們知道什么呢?