你是怎樣的人 就配擁有怎樣的愛(ài)情

One thing you simply cannot ignore about your relationship is that there is another person in your life. Your partner is someone you have to care for, think about regularly, support and comfort.

在戀愛(ài)中有件不可忽視的事，就是在你的生活中還有另外一個(gè)人。這個(gè)人需要你關(guān)心、想念、支持和安慰。

If you are not fulfilling these duties, your partner will feel neglected and hurt. Relationships can feel strained when you are neither confident in yourself nor feel personal self-worth.

如果你沒(méi)有做到這些，你的另一半會(huì)感覺(jué)到被忽視和受傷。如果你既不自信也感覺(jué)不到自己的價(jià)值，那么你們的愛(ài)情就會(huì)變得岌岌可危。

This is when you might feel overly dependent on a relationship, have low self-esteem and experience anxiety.

這時(shí)你在戀愛(ài)中會(huì)感覺(jué)極度依賴(lài)、自卑、焦慮。

So, what can you do when you feel yourself slipping into this pattern of emotional outbursts, self-doubt and dependency? Take time to self-reflect on your own life goals and ambitions.

那么，當(dāng)你感覺(jué)自己的這種情緒爆發(fā)、并自我懷疑、過(guò)分依賴(lài)時(shí)該怎么辦呢?花些時(shí)間反省一下你自己的生活目標(biāo)和理想吧。

If tomorrow your partner was out of the equation, would you still feel content in the other areas of your life? If your goal is to look and feel healthier, set aside the time to exercise, meditate and eat well.

如果明天你的伴侶離你而去，你是否仍然能從生活的其他方面得到滿(mǎn)足?如果你的目標(biāo)是要看起來(lái)并感覺(jué)更健康，就留出時(shí)間去鍛煉、冥想、健康飲食。

If your goal is to switch jobs, start meeting with recruiters and networking. Making strides in your own life will allow you to be more present for someone else.

如果你的目標(biāo)是換工作，那就開(kāi)始和招聘人員會(huì)面交流、多參加社交活動(dòng)。在生活中大有進(jìn)步會(huì)使你在別人面前看起來(lái)更與時(shí)俱進(jìn)。

Feeling emotionally dependent on your partner is comparable to that dreadful feeling of heartbreak when a relationship collapses.

情感上過(guò)于依賴(lài)另一半，其傷害程度不亞于分手時(shí)心碎的可怕感覺(jué)。

That pressure you experience on your chest feels permanent, you feel confused and overwhelmed. You constantly feel hopeless and alone, even when your partner is in the room.

你胸口所感受到的壓力好像一直存在，你會(huì)感到困惑、不知所措。甚至當(dāng)你的伴侶在房間里時(shí)，你也會(huì)不斷地感到絕望、孤單。

It is as if nothing anyone says or does is enough. This is because nothing anyone does can give you enough unless you feel love for yourself.

就好像任何人說(shuō)什么做什么都不足以讓你感覺(jué)好起來(lái)，這是因?yàn)槌悄阕约焊惺艿綈?ài)，否則任何人做的任何事都不能給你足夠的溫暖。

Your relationship will improve when you emit confidence and positive energy. When you feel valuable, it draws people in closer. When you feel down, depressed and low about yourself, it automatically drives people away.

當(dāng)你散發(fā)出自信和正能量時(shí)你們的關(guān)系才會(huì)好轉(zhuǎn)。你感受到自我價(jià)值，才會(huì)吸引別人更靠近你。在你情緒低落、沮喪、消沉的時(shí)候，人們也會(huì)自動(dòng)地遠(yuǎn)離你。

You can even do an experiment in your own relationship. Next time you feel elated or proud of yourself, observe how your partner acts toward you. I guarantee you will notice a difference.

你甚至可以用自己的戀愛(ài)做一個(gè)試驗(yàn)。下次你歡欣鼓舞、驕傲自豪的時(shí)候，觀(guān)察一下你的伴侶是如何對(duì)待你的，保證你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)不同之處。

It is important to note that it is okay and healthy to somewhat rely on your partner, as you are a team and should work through issues together.

有一點(diǎn)需要注意的是，稍微依賴(lài)一點(diǎn)你的伴侶是可以的，也是明智的，因?yàn)槟銈兪且粋€(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)，應(yīng)該一起解決問(wèn)題。

When you are upset, angry or feel self-conscious, it is part of your partner’s job description to help support you as best as he or she can.

當(dāng)你沮喪、生氣或不自在的時(shí)候，他/她應(yīng)該盡其所能去支持你。

Not only is it the obligation of your partner, but it should also be a role he or she is more than happy to play. If you can’t rely on your partner to a certain degree, how can it be considered a loving relationship? You are basically friends with benefits.

這不僅是他/她的責(zé)任，也應(yīng)該是他/她更樂(lè)意去做的。如果在某種程度上你不能依賴(lài)你的伴侶，那你們之間怎么能稱(chēng)之為相愛(ài)的關(guān)系呢?你們僅僅是利益之交罷了。

When you are in a relationship, it is okay to be vulnerable because you know your partner will be there for you and will not turn away when you are at your lowest.

你在戀愛(ài)中可以脆弱，因?yàn)槟阒滥愕牧硪话霑?huì)陪在你身邊，當(dāng)你處于低谷時(shí)也不會(huì)離你而去。

So, how can we better understand this relationship? Think of it like this: First, you are happy on your own. You feel comfortable in your own skin and confident about your ambitions and goals.

所以，我們?cè)鯓硬拍芨玫乩斫膺@段關(guān)系?這樣來(lái)想一下：首先，你自己要快樂(lè)。要對(duì)自己的狀態(tài)釋然，并且對(duì)自己的理想和目標(biāo)有信心。

Now, your partner enters into the picture. There is certainly an adjustment period, where you learn how to expose your inner thoughts and depend on someone other than yourself.

然后，你的伴侶進(jìn)入了你的世界。當(dāng)然會(huì)有一段調(diào)整期，你要學(xué)會(huì)表達(dá)內(nèi)心的想法并依靠除你之外的那個(gè)人。

After a while, you should feel even more comfortable in our own skin and more ambitious and goal oriented. It should be the cherry on top of your already-delicious sundae.

一段時(shí)間之后，你應(yīng)該會(huì)感覺(jué)更釋然，更雄心勃勃，目標(biāo)也更明確。對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)這應(yīng)該是錦上添花。

If you start from there, you will have a healthy foundation on which to build a mutually-supportive relationship.

如果在此之上建立關(guān)系，那么你會(huì)在一個(gè)健康的基礎(chǔ)上去建立一段相互扶持的關(guān)系。

Ideally, your partner, whom you love and care about, will ride alongside you on your path to success. In turn, you will support your partner to fulfill his or her own life ambitions.

情況理想的話(huà)，那個(gè)你愛(ài)著、關(guān)心著的伴侶會(huì)隨你一起邁向成功。反過(guò)來(lái)，你也會(huì)支持你的另一半去實(shí)現(xiàn)他/她的生活抱負(fù)。