哈佛心理學(xué)家：撫養(yǎng)“好”孩子的方法

Ways to raise 'good' kids, according to Harvard psychologists

哈佛心理學(xué)家：撫養(yǎng)“好”孩子的方法

Here are the 2 parenting strategies they outlined that are proven to raise caring children.

下面是哈佛心里學(xué)家概括的兩個(gè)有效關(guān)愛(ài)教育孩子的方法。

1. Put Fun Time on the Calendar

1. 在日歷上標(biāo)注上娛樂(lè)時(shí)間

Why: Kids learn about care and respect when they are treated with care and respect, psychologists say. The best time to give them care and respect—when you're doing something fun together!

原因：當(dāng)孩子們受到了父母的關(guān)愛(ài)與尊重，他們也會(huì)學(xué)會(huì)關(guān)愛(ài)和尊重他人。當(dāng)你們?cè)谝黄鹱鲆恍┯幸馑嫉氖虑榈臅r(shí)候，就是給予他們關(guān)愛(ài)和尊重最好的時(shí)間。

How: It's as simple as reading your child a bedtime story or playing tennis together. "Build one-on-one time into their weekly schedules rather than leaving it to chance," the findings suggest. That way you'll treat it just as importantly as that work meeting, and it's more likely to happen on a regular basis. Asking questions like "what was the best part of your day?" and "what did you accomplish today that makes you feel good?" can help them learn to think beyond the surface level of their actions and identify their feelings.

做法：就譬如在床頭給孩子講故事或者一起打乒乓球那樣簡(jiǎn)單。研究表明“在每周的計(jì)劃中都安排一次娛樂(lè)時(shí)間，而不是順其自然一起玩耍。”你需要像對(duì)待工作會(huì)議一樣重視娛樂(lè)時(shí)間，而且最好是定期玩一次。問(wèn)一些問(wèn)題，例如“你今天感覺(jué)最好的是什么呢?”或者“你今天完成了什么任務(wù)讓你感覺(jué)不錯(cuò)?”，這些問(wèn)題能夠幫助他們不止停留在行為表面進(jìn)行思考，而是明確自己的感受。

2. Be a Strong Role Model

2. 做最強(qiáng)大的榜樣

Why: The experts say your child learns ethical values and behaviors by watching you.

原因：專(zhuān)家稱(chēng)你的孩子通過(guò)觀察你了解道德價(jià)值和行為舉止。

How: Pay close attention to whether or not you're practicing honesty, fairness, and caring for yourself. "Nobody is perfect all the time," the Harvard report points out. "That is why it's important for us, in fact, to model for children humility, self-awareness, and honesty by acknowledging and working on our mistakes and flaws." Your kids know you're not perfect—or they will when they get to their teenage years—so own it and use it as a chance to talk through your mistakes with your child.

做法：要密切注意自己是否表現(xiàn)誠(chéng)實(shí)、公正，關(guān)愛(ài)自己。哈佛報(bào)告中指出“沒(méi)有人能時(shí)刻保持完美。實(shí)際上，這就是我們需要通過(guò)承認(rèn)并改進(jìn)自己的錯(cuò)誤和缺點(diǎn)，成為孩子謙虛、自覺(jué)、誠(chéng)實(shí)的榜樣的重要原因。”你的孩子知道你并不完美——或者當(dāng)他們長(zhǎng)大成為青少年的時(shí)候就會(huì)明白這一點(diǎn)——所以要利用自己的不完美，借此機(jī)會(huì)與孩子討論自己的錯(cuò)誤。