◎ James
There were a sensitivity and a beauty to her that have nothing to do with looks. She was one to be listened to, whose words were so easy to take to heart.
她有著一種與外表無(wú)關(guān)的靈氣和美麗。她的話語(yǔ)輕而易舉地走進(jìn)了人心,她正是我們要聆聽(tīng)的聲音。
It is said that the true nature of being is veiled. The labor of words, the expression of art, the seemingly ceaseless buzz that is human thought all have in common the need to get at what really is so. The hope to draw close to and possess the truth of being can be a feverish one. In some cases it can even be fatal, if pleasure is one’s truth and its attainment more important than life itself. In other lives, though, the search for what is truthful gives life.
很多人都說(shuō)人生的真諦是個(gè)未知的概念。言辭的詮釋、藝術(shù)的表現(xiàn),還有人類(lèi)那似乎永無(wú)休止的紛繁思考,三者都苦苦追尋人生的真諦。希望走近直至完全把握存在的真諦可以令人十分狂熱。在某些情況下,這甚至是致命的,有些人對(duì)真理的追尋比生命本身還重要,于是就有了舍生取義之舉。然而,也有另外的一種人生,他們?cè)趯で笳嬷B的過(guò)程中灌溉生命。
I used to find notes left in the collection basket, beautiful notes about my homilies and about the writer’s thoughts on the daily scriptural readings. The person who penned the notes would add reflections to my thoughts and would always include some quotes from poets and mystics he or she had read and remembered and loved.
過(guò)去,我常常在教堂的心意籃里發(fā)現(xiàn)一些優(yōu)美的短文注釋?zhuān)行┦顷P(guān)于我的布道,有些是作者日常讀《圣經(jīng)》的感想。寫(xiě)這些短文的人不僅對(duì)我的一些觀點(diǎn)加以反思,同時(shí)還會(huì)引用一些他曾經(jīng)讀過(guò)的,令他難忘又喜愛(ài)的詩(shī)人或者神秘主義者的話。
The notes fascinated me. Here was someone immersed in a search for truth and beauty. Words had been treasured, words that were beautiful. And I felt as if the words somehow delighted in being discovered, for they were obviously very generous to the as yet anonymous writer of the notes. And now this person was in turn learning the secret of sharing them. Beauty so shines when given away. The only truth that exists is, in that sense, free.
我被這些短文迷住了。我看到了一個(gè)沉浸于追尋真與美的人。彌足珍貴的字句,優(yōu)美動(dòng)人。我還感覺(jué)到,好像那些字句也樂(lè)于讓我們發(fā)現(xiàn),它們顯然是毫無(wú)保留、十分慷慨地被這無(wú)名氏作者借用,而現(xiàn)在輪到這位無(wú)名氏來(lái)學(xué)習(xí)與人分享這些美文的奧秘。分享令美愈加閃耀生輝,在這個(gè)意義上說(shuō),其實(shí)世上唯一的真理是分毫不費(fèi)的。
It was a long time before I met the author of the notes.
過(guò)了很久我才見(jiàn)到這些短文的作者。
One Sunday morning, I was told that someone was waiting for me in the office. The young person who answered the rectory door said that it was “the woman who said she left all the notes”. When I saw her I was shocked, since I immediately recognized her from church but had no idea that it was she who wrote the notes. She was sitting in a chair in the office with her hands folded in her lap. Her head was bowed and when she raised it to look at me, she could barely smile without pain. Her face was disfigured, and the skin so tight from surgical procedures that smiling or laughing was very difficult for her. She had suffered terribly from treatment to remove the growths that had so marred her face.
一個(gè)星期天早上,我被告知有人正在辦公室等我。幫我應(yīng)門(mén)的年輕人說(shuō)“是個(gè)女人,她說(shuō)留言是她放的”??匆?jiàn)她的時(shí)候,我大吃一驚,因?yàn)槲伊⒓凑J(rèn)出了她是我教區(qū)的信徒,只是我一直不知道那些短文是她寫(xiě)的。她坐在辦公室的一張椅子上,兩手?jǐn)傇诖笸壬希痛怪^。在抬頭看我的時(shí)候,她微笑起來(lái)卻十分費(fèi)勁。那是一張破了相的臉,外科手術(shù)使她的臉皮繃得緊緊的,笑對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)是很困難的。為了去除臉上礙眼的肉瘤,她接受了手術(shù)治療,這令她吃盡苦頭。
We chatted for a while that Sunday morning and agreed to meet for lunch later that week.
那個(gè)星期天早上我們聊了一會(huì)兒,并決定那個(gè)星期再找個(gè)時(shí)間一起吃午飯。
As it turned out we went to lunch several times, and she always wore a hat during the meal. I think that treatments of some sort had caused a lot of her hair to fall out. We shared things about our lives. I told her about my schooling and growing up. She told me that she had worked for years for an insurance company. She never mentioned family, and I did not ask.
后來(lái)我們不止吃了一頓午飯,而是好幾頓。每次一起吃飯,她都戴著一頂帽子。我想可能是她接受的某種治療使她掉了不少頭發(fā)。我們分享了各自生活中的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴。我跟她講我讀書(shū)和成長(zhǎng)的故事,她告訴我她在一家保險(xiǎn)公司里已經(jīng)工作多年了。她從沒(méi)有提過(guò)自己的家庭,我也沒(méi)有問(wèn)。
We spoke of authors we both had read, and it was easy to tell that books are a great love of hers.
我們還談到大家都讀過(guò)的作家作品,不難發(fā)現(xiàn)她非常喜歡看書(shū)。
I have thought about her often over the years and how she struggled in a society that places an incredible premium on looks, class, wealth and all the other fineries of life. She suffered from a disfigurement that cannot be made to look attractive. I know that her condition hurt her deeply.
這些年我經(jīng)常想起她,在這個(gè)以外表、地位和財(cái)富等虛名浮利掛帥的社會(huì)中,她是怎樣掙扎著一路挺過(guò)來(lái)的呢?毀掉的容顏使她怎么也無(wú)法變得迷人。我知道這深深地刺痛著她。
Would her life have been different had she been pretty? Chances are it would have. And yet there were a sensitivity and a beauty to her that had nothing to do with looks. She was one to be listened to, whose words were so easy to take to heart. Her words came from a wounded but loving heart, very much like all hearts, but she had more of a need to be aware of it, to live with it and learn from it. She possessed a fine-tuned sense of beauty. Her only fear in life was the loss of a friend.
如果她長(zhǎng)得漂亮,她的生命軌跡會(huì)不會(huì)有所不同呢?有可能??伤蟹N獨(dú)特的靈氣和美,與外表完全無(wú)關(guān)。她的話能輕而易舉地征服人心,她正是我們要聆聽(tīng)的聲音。她的雋語(yǔ)出于一顆受過(guò)傷卻充滿(mǎn)愛(ài)的心,就像所有人的心一樣,只不過(guò)她比別人更注重對(duì)心靈的關(guān)注,更用心去體會(huì)生活并從中學(xué)習(xí)。她擁有一種細(xì)膩的美感。她生命里唯一的恐懼就是失去朋友。
How long does it take most of us to reach that level of human growth, if we ever get there? We get so consumed and diminished, worrying about all the things that need improving, we can easily forget to cherish those things that last. Friendship, so rare and so good, just needs our care-maybe even the simple gesture of writing a little note now and then, or the dropping of some beautiful words in a basket, in the hope that such beauty will be shared and taken to heart.
我們究竟要花多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間,才能達(dá)到如此高度的成熟?最終能否達(dá)到還是個(gè)未知數(shù)呢。我們總是覺(jué)得身心疲憊,懷才不遇,只顧為眼前的不足憂心忡忡,卻忘了珍視一些歷久彌新的東西。友誼珍貴而美好,只需我們用心呵護(hù)——有時(shí)候簡(jiǎn)簡(jiǎn)單單的表示就足夠了,譬如偶爾寫(xiě)幾句話給朋友,或者在籃子里放幾張優(yōu)美動(dòng)人的字條,希望能與大家共享這美妙的感覺(jué),記住這美好的時(shí)刻。
The truth of her life was a desire to see beyond the surface for a glimpse of what it is that matters. She found beauty and grace and they befriended her, and showed her what is real.
她生命的真諦就是要透過(guò)事物的表面一睹其真正的本質(zhì)。她發(fā)現(xiàn)了美麗與優(yōu)雅,而它們也待她如友,為她呈現(xiàn)生命的真諦。