幸福和成功的秘訣?試著同情

幸福和成功的秘訣?試著同情

Looking for a way to be happier? Are you seeking deeper connections with friends or looking for more friends? Want to relate better to your co-workers?

在尋找一種更快樂的方式嗎?你是想和朋友建立更深的聯(lián)系，還是想找更多的朋友?想和同事建立更好的關(guān)系?

Try a little compassion.

試著有點(diǎn)同情心。

Compassion, as one scholar describes it, is "experiencing feelings of loving kindness toward another person's affliction." It's related to, but a little different from empathy, which the same scholar defines as "feeling with someone, that is, sharing the other person's emotion."

正如一位學(xué)者所描述的那樣，同情是“對(duì)他人的痛苦體驗(yàn)仁愛之情。”它與同理心有關(guān)，但與同理心略有不同，同理心是同一位學(xué)者定義的“感受他人，也就是與他人分享情感”。

But compassion is not for the touchy-feely Oprah set alone. The U.S. military and professional sports teams found real success with mindfulness and compassion training. In fact, the baseball team that incorporated mindfulness practice into their routine last year, the Chicago Cubs, won the World Series. The "lovable losers" hadn't won a World Series in 108 years.

但是同情并不屬于奧普拉一個(gè)人。美國(guó)軍隊(duì)和職業(yè)運(yùn)動(dòng)隊(duì)通過善意和同情心訓(xùn)練取得了真正的成功。事實(shí)上，去年將了善意訓(xùn)練納入日常訓(xùn)練的棒球隊(duì)芝加哥小熊隊(duì)(Chicago Cubs)贏得了世界職業(yè)棒球大賽冠軍。這位“可愛的失敗者”已經(jīng)108年沒有贏得過世界大賽冠軍了。

"'This training is not for wimps,' as my grad student, who was a former football player, used to say," said Amishi Jha, an associate professor of psychology. "This is for the toughest of the tough who want to make the world better and benefit personally, too."

心理學(xué)副教授阿米希賈(Amishi Jha)說，“我的研究生曾是一名足球運(yùn)動(dòng)員，他常說，‘這種訓(xùn)練不適合懦弱的人。’”“這是為那些想讓世界變得更美好、也想親自受益的最堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的人準(zhǔn)備的。”

Jha has U.S. Department of Defense contracts to teach mindfulness and compassion to the military. At the University of Miami, she works with football players and regular students to teach them resilience in the face of high stress, and regular everyday stress, too.

賈與美國(guó)國(guó)防部簽訂合同，向軍方教授善意和同情心。在邁阿密大學(xué)(University of Miami)，她與足球運(yùn)動(dòng)員和普通學(xué)生合作，教授他們面對(duì)高壓力時(shí)的適應(yīng)力，以及日常壓力時(shí)的適應(yīng)力。

What she, and many other scholars have found, is that compassion is key to coping. The compassionate tend to have deeper connections with others and more friends. They are more forgiving and have a stronger sense of life purpose. Many studies have shown these results.

她和許多其他學(xué)者發(fā)現(xiàn)，同情心是應(yīng)對(duì)問題的關(guān)鍵。富有同情心的人往往與他人和更多的朋友有更深的聯(lián)系。他們更寬容，有更強(qiáng)的生活目標(biāo)感。許多研究顯示了這些結(jié)果。

Compassion also has direct personal benefit. The compassionate tend to be happier, healthier, more self-confident, less self-critical (pdf), and more resilient.

同情也有直接的個(gè)人利益。富有同情心的人往往更快樂，更健康，更自信，更少自我批評(píng)，更有彈性。

But if you've ever struggled to find loving kindness for the guy who cut you off on your morning commute, know you are not alone.

但是，如果你曾經(jīng)掙扎著為那個(gè)在早上的通勤路上攔住你的人找到愛的善意，要知道你并不孤單。

Recent politics have exposed real anger, coldness and polarization among Americans, polls say. We may even be getting less compassionate, as a 2009 study showed.

民意調(diào)查顯示，最近的政治事件暴露出美國(guó)人真正的憤怒、冷漠和兩極分化。2009年的一項(xiàng)研究顯示，我們甚至可能變得越來越?jīng)]有同情心。

Compassion takes practice. But if you do practice, the experts promise the next time you get cut off, while you may not be happy about it, it won't ruin your morning.

同情需要練習(xí)。但如果你真的練習(xí)，專家保證下次你被攔住時(shí)，雖然你可能不高興，但不會(huì)毀了你的早晨。

How do you get to compassion?

你如何獲得同情?

A whole industry exists to teach you compassion, but it doesn't have to cost you money. You can start simply with a common exercise called the Loving Kindness Meditation.

整個(gè)行業(yè)的存在是為了教會(huì)你同情，但這并不需要你花錢。你可以簡(jiǎn)單地從一個(gè)叫做“仁愛冥想”的普通練習(xí)開始。

In that quiet space, sit in a comfortable position. Focus on your breath and try to clear your mind. The key is to be present in that space in that time. Then mentally focus on your heart area and think about someone you feel tenderness toward. This could be your spouse or your mom or your child.

在那個(gè)安靜的空間里，坐到一個(gè)舒服的位置。專注于你的呼吸，試著清理你的大腦。關(guān)鍵是要在那個(gè)時(shí)間出現(xiàn)在那個(gè)空間里。然后在心里專注于你的心臟區(qū)域，想想你對(duì)誰(shuí)感到溫柔。這可能是你的配偶、母親或孩子。

The people with the compassion training still felt these negative emotions, like those with empathy training did, but the part of their brain connected with reward and positive effect also lit up.

接受過同情訓(xùn)練的人，和接受過同理心訓(xùn)練的人一樣，仍然會(huì)感受到這些負(fù)面情緒，但他們大腦中與獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)和積極效果相關(guān)的部分也會(huì)被激活。