維持異地戀的8個(gè)小貼士
Avoid letting geographical distance become emotional distance can be a challenging task. Sure, the good side of it is that you won’t have to shave your legs or clean your apartment every day, but it will take determination, optimism, and effort to turn a distant relationship into a love story.
避免讓地理距離變成情感距離是一項(xiàng)具有挑戰(zhàn)性的任務(wù)。當(dāng)然,它好的一面是你不必每天刮腿毛或打掃你的公寓,但它需要決心、樂觀和努力把一段遙遠(yuǎn)的關(guān)系變成一個(gè)愛情故事。
Nothing is impossible, however, and these tips will help your romance come to fruition, no matter how far away the distance between you are.
然而,沒有什么是不可能的,無(wú)論你們之間的距離有多遠(yuǎn),這些建議將幫助你們保持愛情。
Find the best time to talk
找最好的時(shí)間多聊天
While texting and emailing are available 24/7, sometimes you need to talk to your partner and get an immediate response. Depending on the distance, it may take some time to figure out the best time for conversations, but practice makes perfect and having fun voice messages can make up for the disconnected times or wrong times. And it doesn't matter if you can only call each other on Sunday mornings - spending time together is what matters.
雖然短信和郵件是24小時(shí)待命的,但有時(shí)你需要和你的伴侶談?wù)?,并得到即時(shí)回復(fù)。根據(jù)距離的不同,可能需要一些時(shí)間來(lái)確定對(duì)話的最佳時(shí)間,但熟能生巧,有樂趣的語(yǔ)音信息可以彌補(bǔ)不連接的時(shí)間或錯(cuò)誤的時(shí)間。如果你們只能在周日早上給對(duì)方打電話,那也沒有關(guān)系——重要的是要花時(shí)間在一起。
Find the most effective channels to stay in touch
找到最有效的保持聯(lián)系的渠道
Once you've found the right time, finding the perfect communication channel is also important. Luckily, it's never been easier or cheaper to communicate with the world right now: A Wi-Fi connection is often all you need to talk via Skype, chat and text. Make sure your primary communication tool is easily accessible to both of you, and don't forget that having various channels of communication will make chatting a lot more enjoyable.
一旦你找到了合適的時(shí)間,找到完美的溝通渠道也很重要。幸運(yùn)的是,現(xiàn)在與世界溝通比以往任何時(shí)候都更容易、成本更低:通過Skype、聊天和發(fā)短信,你只需要一個(gè)Wi-Fi連接就可以了。確保你們的主要交流工具對(duì)你們雙方來(lái)說都是很容易獲得的,并且不要忘記擁有不同的交流渠道會(huì)使聊天變得更加愉快。
Be creative
要有創(chuàng)意
Record a voice message during the night, write a letter, and send your partner a postcard or a gift box or a music disc made by you. Use your imagination and find new and surprising ways to let they know that you are thinking about them. This doesn't mean you have to spend all of your money, though.
在晚上錄制語(yǔ)音信息,寫一封信,給你的伴侶寄一張明信片、一個(gè)禮盒或一張你制作的音樂光盤。發(fā)揮你的想象力,用新的、令人驚訝的方式讓他們知道你在想他們。但這并不意味著你要花光所有的錢。
Don't run away from arguments
不要逃避爭(zhēng)論
When you only see each other every few weeks or months, or when you speak different languages, it's easy to ignore problems or concerns. Nobody wants to spend time quarreling when they only have 48 hours together, but avoiding quarrels and arguments can be harmful in the long run. The more you talk about the problems that get in your way before they become major issues in your relationship, the better. However, do not argue via text or email (as there are too many implications). Try to discuss it in person or on the phone as soon as problems arise.
當(dāng)你們每隔幾周或幾個(gè)月才見一次面,或者當(dāng)你們說不同的語(yǔ)言時(shí),很容易忽視問題或擔(dān)憂。當(dāng)只有48小時(shí)在一起的時(shí)候,沒有人愿意花時(shí)間在吵架上,但是避免爭(zhēng)吵和爭(zhēng)論從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)看是有害的。在這些問題成為你們關(guān)系中的主要問題之前,你們對(duì)它們談?wù)摰迷蕉嘣胶谩5?,不要通過文本或電子郵件爭(zhēng)論(因?yàn)橛刑嗟暮?。一旦出現(xiàn)問題,試著當(dāng)面或電話討論。
Speak out
說出來(lái)
Always try to be open and honest about your feelings. Not knowing where the other person is right now or who they spend the Saturday night with can unnecessarily make you both overthink and panic. The fact that social media makes it easier for you to see (or imagine) someone is happy, doesn't make things any easier. It is important that you trust each other enough to share your thoughts and feelings and also find ways to deal with jealousy, anger, or distrust of each other.
總是試著開放和誠(chéng)實(shí)地表達(dá)你的感受。如果你不知道對(duì)方現(xiàn)在在哪里,或者不知道周六晚上和誰(shuí)一起度過,你就會(huì)不必要地過度思考和恐慌。社交媒體讓你更容易看到(或想象)某人很快樂,但這并不會(huì)讓事情變得更容易。重要的是,你們要足夠信任對(duì)方來(lái)分享你們的想法和感受,也要找到處理嫉妒、憤怒或彼此不信任的方法。
Think positively
積極思考
The fact that you will still be essentially living a normal life while maintaining a long-distance relationship can be both a blessing and a curse: You may feel like you're missing things with your partner, as it is difficult to be able to do simple things as a normal couple, like taking each other to work or having lunch together. However, it can also be a big plus as you will be able to do what you want without canceling a dinner plan or making the other worried.
異地戀讓你仍然過著正常的生活,這對(duì)你來(lái)說既是福又是禍。你可能會(huì)覺得你和你的伴侶錯(cuò)過了一些事情,因?yàn)樽鳛橐粚?duì)正常的夫婦很難做一些簡(jiǎn)單的事情,比如帶對(duì)方去工作或一起吃午飯。然而,這也可以是一個(gè)很大的好處,因?yàn)槟憧梢宰瞿阆胱龅氖虑槎蝗∠聿陀?jì)劃或讓對(duì)方擔(dān)心。
Do boring things together
一起做無(wú)聊的事情
Since you only see each other a few times a year, it's like a long vacation. There's nothing wrong if you just enjoy it, sleep, eat brunch, and see the scenery, but doing some boring activities is also important - you know, everyday tasks like folding things, running errands, or mowing grass. Try to make monotonous work fun and enjoyable together.
因?yàn)槟銈円荒曛灰妿状蚊?,這就像一個(gè)長(zhǎng)假。如果你只是享受它,睡覺,吃早午餐,看風(fēng)景,沒有什么錯(cuò),但是做一些無(wú)聊的活動(dòng)也很重要——你知道,像折疊東西,跑腿,或修剪草坪這樣的日常工作。試著讓單調(diào)的工作變得有趣和愉快。
Know when you will meet again
知道什么時(shí)候你們會(huì)再相見
Depending on how much time and money it takes to meet each other, it could be a whole process for the two of you to meet. Not knowing when you will meet again only messes with your emotions and life plans. So, it's best to choose a date as soon as possible after you get home. This way, you can plan ahead while taking advantage of early booking and special offers, not to mention having something to look forward to! (Of course, surprise visits are also great, so do it once in a while if you can.)
這取決于見面所花費(fèi)的時(shí)間和金錢,見面可能是一個(gè)完整的過程。不知道什么時(shí)候會(huì)再見面,只會(huì)攪亂你的情緒和生活計(jì)劃。所以,最好在你回家后盡快選擇約會(huì)。這樣,你可以提前計(jì)劃,同時(shí)利用提前預(yù)訂和特別優(yōu)惠,更不用說有一些期待!(當(dāng)然,出其不意的拜訪也是不錯(cuò)的選擇,所以如果可以的話,偶爾嘗試一下。)