[美]西奧多·德萊塞(Theodore Dreiser)
嘉莉是個俊俏的農(nóng)村姑娘,她羨慕大都市的物質(zhì)生活,便來到了芝加哥謀生。嚴酷的現(xiàn)實破碎了她的美夢,迎接她的是失業(yè)和疾病。在走投無路時,她做了推銷員德魯埃的情婦,后來由于更大的欲望又做了酒店經(jīng)理赫斯渥的情婦。與赫斯渥私奔后,在紐約由于偶然的機會她成了走紅一時的演員,擠進了上流社會,實現(xiàn)了她的夢想。然而,所謂的“上流社會生活”又給她帶來了什么呢?她感到空虛,找不到生活的真正意義,在寂寞和凄涼中,她坐在搖椅里夢想著那終不可得的幸福。
In the light of the world's attitude toward woman and her duties, the nature of Carrie's mental state deserves consideration. Actions such as hers are measured by an arbitrary scale.Society possesses a conventional standard whereby it judges all things.All men should be good, all women virtuous.Wherefore, villain, hast thou failed?
For all the liberal analysis of Spencer and our modern naturalistic philosophers, we have but an infantile perception of morals. There is more in the subject than mere conformity to a law of evolution.It is yet deeper than conformity to things of earth alone.It is more involved than we, as yet, perceive.Answer, first, why the heart thrills;explain wherefore some plaintive note goes wandering about the world, undying;make clear the rose's subtle alchemy evolving its ruddy lamp in light and rain.In the essence of these facts lie the first principles of morals.
“Oh,”thought Drouet,“how delicious is my conquest.”
“Ah,”thought Carrie, with mournful misgivings,“what is it I have lost?”
Before this world—old proposition we stand, serious, interested, confused;endeavouring to evolve the true theory of morals—the true answer to what is right.
In the view of a certain stratum of society, Carrie was comfortably established—in the eyes of the starveling, beaten by every wind and gusty sheet of rain, she was safe in a halcyon harbour.
Drouet had taken three rooms, furnished, in Ogden Place, facing Union Park, on the West Side. That was a little, green-carpeted breathing spot, than which, today, there is nothing more Beautiful in Chicago.It afforded a vista pleasant to contemplate. The best room looked out upon the lawn of the park, now sear and brown, where a little lake lay sheltered.Over the bare limbs of the trees, which now swayed in the wintry wind, rose the steeple of the Union Park Congregational Church, and far off the towers of several others.
The rooms were comfortably enough furnished. There was a good Brussels carpet on the floor, rich in dull red and lemon shades, and representing large jardinieres filled with gorgeous, impossible flowers.There was a large pier-glass mirror between the two windows.A large, soft, green, plush-covered couch occupied one corner, and several rocking-chairs were set about.Some pictures, several rugs, a few small pieces of bric-a-brac, and the tale of contents is told.
In the bedroom, off the front room, was Carrie's trunk, bought by Drouet, and in the wardrobe built into the wall quite an array of clothing—more than she had ever possessed before, and of very becoming designs. There was a third room for possible use as a kitchen, where Drouet had Carrie establish a little portable gas stove for the preparation of small lunches, oysters, Welsh rarebits, and the like, of which he was exceedingly fond;and, lastly, a bath.The whole place was cosey, in that it was lighted by gas and heated by furnace registers, possessing also a small grate, set with an asbestos back, a method of cheerful warming which was then first coming into use.By her industry and natural love of order, which now developed, the place maintained an air pleasing in the extreme.
Here, then, was Carrie, established in a pleasant fashion, free of certain difficulties which most ominously confronted her, laden with many new ones which were of a mental order, and altogether so turned about in all of her earthly relationships that she might well have been a new and different individual. She looked into her glass and saw a prettier Carrie than she had seen before;she looked into her mind, a mirror prepared of her own and the world's opinions, and saw a worse.Between these two images she wavered, hesitating which to believe.
“My, but you're a little beauty,”Drouet was wont to exclaim to her. She would look at him with large, pleased eyes.
“You know it, don't you?”he would continue.
“Oh, I don't know,”she would reply, feeling delight in the fact that one should think so, hesitating to believe, though she really did, that she was vain enough to think so much of herself.
Her conscience, however, was not a Drouet, interested to praise. There she heard a different voice, with which she argued, pleaded, excused.It was no just and sapient counsellor, in its last analysis.It was only an average little conscience, a thing which represented the world, her past environment, habit, convention, in a confused way.With it, the voice of the people was truly the voice of God.
“Oh, thou failur e!”said the voice.
“Why?”she questioned.
“Look at those about,”came the whispered answer.“Look at those who are good. How would they scorn to do what you have done.Look at the good girls;how will they draw away from such as you when they know you have been weak.You had not tried before you failed.”
It was when Carrie was alone, looking out across the park, that she would be listening to this. It would come infrequently—when something else did not interfere, when the pleasant side was not too apparent, when Drouet was not there.It was somewhat clear in utterance at first, but never wholly convincing.There was always an answer, always the December days threatened.She was alone;she was desireful;she was fearful of the whistling wind.The voice of want made answer for her.
Once the bright days of summer pass by, a city takes on that sombre garb of grey, wrapt in which it goes about its labours during the long winter. Its endless buildings look grey, its sky and its streets assume a sombre hue;the scattered, leafless trees and wind-blown dust and paper but add to the general solemnity of colour.There seems to be something in the chill breezes which scurry through the long, narrow thoroughfares productive of rueful thoughts.Not poets alone, nor artists, nor that superior order of mind which arrogates to itself all refinement, feel this, but dogs and all men.These feel as much as the poet, though they have not the same power of expression.The sparrow upon the wire, the cat in the doorway, the dray horse tugging his weary load, feel the long, keen breaths of winter.It strikes to the heart of all life, animate and inanimate.If it were not for the artificial fires of merriment, the rush of profit-seeking trade, and pleasure-selling amusements;if the various merchants failed to make the customary display within and without their establishments;if our streets were not strung with signs of gorgeous hues and thronged with hurrying purchasers, we would quickly discover how firmly the chill hand of winter lays upon the heart;how dispiriting are the days during which the sun withholds a portion of our allowance of light and warmth.We are more dependent upon these things than is often thought.We are insects produced by heat, and pass without it.
In the drag of such a grey day the secret voice would reassert itself, feebly and more feebly.
Such mental conflict was not always uppermost. Carrie was not by any means a gloomy soul.More, she had not the mind to get firm hold upon a definite truth.When she could not find her way out of the labyrinth of ill-logic which thought upon the subject created, she would turn away entirely.
按照世俗對女人及其職責(zé)的看法,嘉莉的心態(tài)確實值得推敲。像她這種行為,人們總要用一種專斷的尺度來加以衡量。本來判斷一切行為,社會上就有著一套傳統(tǒng)標準。男人應(yīng)該剛正不阿,女人應(yīng)該冰清玉潔。惡人啊,你為什么所謀不遂呢!
根據(jù)斯賓塞和我們當(dāng)代自然主義哲學(xué)家們的分析研究,我們對道德的認識還很少;其內(nèi)涵除了它僅僅符合進化規(guī)律以外,還有很多。反正它比僅僅符合塵世間的事物這一標準更深刻,而且比我們已知的還要復(fù)雜。首先,請回答,心為什么會顫抖?請解釋,為什么某些哀傷的曲子在世上廣為流傳且經(jīng)久不衰?誰又能說清,玫瑰花為什么在日光和雨露微妙的魔力之下燦然盛開,有如一盞紅燈?道德的首要原則,寓于所有這些現(xiàn)象的實質(zhì)之中。
“啊,”德魯埃暗自欣喜地想道,“我初戰(zhàn)告捷,該有多美?!?/p>
“啊,”嘉莉憂心忡忡地暗自思忖道,“我,從個人來說,失去了什么呢?”
面對這個像世界一樣古老的難題,我們態(tài)度嚴肅,滿懷興趣,卻又感到困惑不解;努力找出道德的真諦,尋求正確行為的真正答案。
照某些社會階層的標準看,如今嘉莉的境遇是夠舒適的了——在那些飽受風(fēng)吹雨打、忍饑挨餓的人的眼里,嘉莉正安身在風(fēng)平浪靜的海港里。
德魯埃在西區(qū)協(xié)和公園對過的奧格登公寓給她租下了一套三間帶家具的房子。那里綠草成茵,空氣新鮮。如今在芝加哥再也找不到比這更優(yōu)美的地方了。從窗戶看出去,景色美不勝收,令人心曠神怡。最好的那個房間俯瞰著公園里的大草坪,這時草木早已枯黃,可小湖上卻依然樹影婆娑。樹梢后面聳立著聯(lián)合公園公理會教堂的尖頂,再遠處,還有好幾個教堂的塔樓聳立著。
房間布置得舒舒服服。地上鋪著漂亮的布魯塞爾地毯,暗紅配淡黃的鮮艷底色上織著插滿奇花異卉的大花瓶圖案。兩扇窗子之間有一個大穿衣鏡。房間的一個角落里擺著一張大而柔軟的長沙發(fā),上面蓋著綠厚絨布,還散放著幾把搖椅。幾張畫,幾塊小地毯,還有幾件小古玩,這些就是屋里的全部擺設(shè)了。
在前屋后面的臥室里,有嘉莉的一個大箱子,是德魯埃給她買的。壁櫥里掛著一大排漂亮衣服——嘉莉穿著不僅非常合身——而且數(shù)量之多是嘉莉一輩子都沒有過的。第三個房間用作廚房,德魯埃在那里裝了一個可以移動的煤氣灶,讓嘉莉做一些簡單的便餐和德魯埃最愛吃的牡蠣、烤奶酪面包之類的食品。最后還有一個浴室。整個房子很舒適,因為室內(nèi)使用煤氣照明,還有調(diào)溫取暖設(shè)備,那種設(shè)備還帶有一個襯著石棉的爐柵。這是當(dāng)時最新潮的、最舒適的取暖設(shè)備。由于嘉莉的勤勞和整潔,這套房間始終保持著一種格外宜人的氣氛。
嘉莉就在這種愜意的地方安頓了下來,擺脫了那些一直在生活上威脅著她的困頓,可是同時又添了許多心理負擔(dān)。她的人際關(guān)系發(fā)生了如此大的改變,真可以把她看成是一個與舊日告別的新人。她從鏡子里看到一個比以前漂亮的嘉莉,但是從她腦子里的那面鏡子里,她看到了一個比以前丑陋的嘉莉,那面鏡子代表了她自己的看法和世俗的見解。她在這兩個影像之間搖擺不定。不知道該相信哪一個。
“哎呀,你——好一個小美人兒!”德魯埃常常喜歡這樣大聲嚷嚷。于是,她就睜大眼睛高興地望著他。
“你知道你有多美,是不是?”他會繼續(xù)說。
“哦,我不知道?!奔卫蜻@么回答,有人認為她美,她心里不禁感到欣喜,盡管她相信自己很美,她還是不敢肯定,生怕自己太虛榮,自視過高。
不過,憑良心說,她不像德魯埃那樣喜歡一味恭維。她的良心聽到了另一種聲音,她在這種聲音面前爭辯,并且還試圖替自己開脫。歸根到底,她的良心也不是公正賢明的顧問。這只是世俗庸人那種渺小的良心,其中混雜著世人的見解,還有嘉莉在過去的環(huán)境、習(xí)慣和世風(fēng)流俗中曾親身經(jīng)歷過的。有了它,人們的聲音真的就無異于上帝的聲音了。
“嘿,你墮落了?!蹦莻€聲音低聲對她說。
“為什么?”嘉莉問。
“看看你周圍的那些人吧,”那個聲音低聲說,“看看那些正派人吧,他們不屑于做你所做的事??纯茨切┖霉媚铮亲屗齻冎滥隳敲唇?jīng)不住誘惑,她們會躲開你。你還沒有真正試圖反抗,就認輸了。”
嘉莉一個人在家,憑窗眺望公園的時候,她就會聽到這個聲音。每當(dāng)百無聊賴的時候,生活中的安適和逸樂赫然在目的時候,或者德魯埃不在她身邊的時候,這個聲音就會出現(xiàn)。這個聲音起初很清晰,不過嘉莉從來沒有完全信服過,因為她總是有話可說。12月嚴冬的威脅啦,她很孤單啦,她渴望著太多的東西,她害怕呼嘯的寒風(fēng)。窮困的聲音替她做了回答。
明媚的夏天一過去,城市就變得灰蒙蒙的,在這個漫長的冬天,一望無際的樓宇都顯得灰不溜丟,天空和街道也都蒙上了一層灰暗的色調(diào)。光禿禿的樹木以及在風(fēng)中飛舞的灰塵和廢紙,更增添了陰沉嚴峻的氣氛。席卷大街小巷的陣陣寒風(fēng),仿佛帶有悔恨的意思。并非只有詩人、藝術(shù)家或者感情細膩的上流人物才能感受到這種愁思,連狗和普通人都受了感染。他們的感受并不亞于詩人,只是他們沒有詩人那樣的表達能力而已。站在電線上的麻雀,躲在門洞里的貓,還有負重跋涉的轅馬,全都感受到了漫長嚴冬刺骨的寒風(fēng)。世上萬物,一切有生命的和沒有生命的東西,都深切感受到這氣息刺心入肺。要是沒有那些歡樂的爐火,沒有以營利為目的的商業(yè)活動,沒有出售歡樂的游樂場所,要是沒有那些在店堂內(nèi)外照常展出的貨物,沒有街上那些花花綠綠的招牌,沒有熙熙攘攘的顧客,我們會迅速感受到冰冷的冬之手沉重地壓在我們的心上。碰到陰雨天,太陽不肯賜予我們那一份應(yīng)得的光和熱,這種日子是多么讓人沮喪。我們對光和熱的依賴,遠遠超出了常人的想象。我們只是一群由光和熱孕育的昆蟲,離開了光和熱,我們就不復(fù)存在了。
在這種灰蒙蒙的漫漫寒冬,這個神秘莫測的聲音就會越來越弱,越來越無力了。
這種思想斗爭并非時時浮上心頭。嘉莉并不是一個郁郁寡歡的人,她也沒有不達真理誓不罷休的決心。她在這個問題上左思右想,陷入了邏輯混亂的迷宮,實在找不到一條出路,于是就干脆不想了。
One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.
——James Russell Lowell
一次痛苦的經(jīng)驗抵得上千百次的告誡。
——英國詩人 洛威爾
實戰(zhàn)提升
作者介紹
西奧多·德萊塞(1871—1945),美國小說家,出生于印第安納州特雷霍特鎮(zhèn)。他的第一部小說《嘉莉妹妹》,因被指控“有破壞性”而長期禁止發(fā)行,但一些散發(fā)出去的贈閱本卻引起了許多作家的注意。德萊塞以他的代表作《美國的悲劇》《珍妮姑娘》和《欲望三部曲》,奠定了在美國文學(xué)界的地位。1944年,德萊塞被美國文學(xué)藝術(shù)學(xué)會授予榮譽獎。
單詞注解
naturalistic[7nAtFErE5listik]adj.博物學(xué)的;自然主義的
essence[5esns]n.本質(zhì),實質(zhì);要素
contemplate[5kCntempleit]vt.思忖,思量
portable[5pC:tEbl]adj.便于攜帶的,手提式的;輕便的
interfere[7intE5fiE]v.妨礙;沖突;抵觸
gorgeous[5^C:dVEs]adj.燦爛的,華麗的,豪華的
名句大搜索
本來判斷一切行為,社會上就有著一套傳統(tǒng)標準。
歸根到底,她的良心也不是公正賢明的顧問。
在這種灰蒙蒙的漫漫寒冬,這個神秘莫測的聲音就會越來越弱,越來越無力了。