《四季隨筆》節(jié)選 - 秋 12

《四季隨筆》是吉辛的散文代表作。其中對隱士賴克羅夫特醉心于書籍、自然景色與回憶過去生活的描述，其實是吉辛的自述，作者以此來抒發(fā)自己的情感，因而本書是一部富有自傳色彩的小品文集。

吉辛窮困的一生，對文學名著的愛好與追求，以及對大自然恬靜生活的向往，在書中均有充分的反映。本書分為春、夏、秋、冬四個部分，文筆優(yōu)美，行文流暢，是英國文學中小品文的珍品之一。

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The free man, says Spinoza, thinks of nothing less often than of death. Free, in his sense of the word, I may not call myself. I think of death very often; the thought, indeed, is ever in the background of my mind; yet free in another sense I assuredly am, for death inspires me with no fear. There was a time when I dreaded it; but that, merely because it meant disaster to others who depended upon my labour; the cessation of being has never in itself had power to afflict me. Pain I cannot well endure, and I do indeed think with apprehension of being subjected to the trial of long deathbed torments. It is a sorry thing that the man who has fronted destiny with something of manly calm throughout a life of stress and of striving, may, when he nears the end, be dishonoured by a weakness which is mere disease. But happily I am not often troubled by that dark anticipation.

一個自由的人幾乎很少思考死亡，斯賓諾莎如是說。從他闡釋的意義上說，我不能說自己“自由”。我經(jīng)常會思考死亡，這想法確實一直都存在于我的頭腦中；然而從另外一個意義上說，我當然是自由的，因為死亡并沒有讓我心生恐懼。曾有一個時候，我對它感到害怕；但只是因為它對于那些仰賴我生存的人，意味著災難，肉體的消滅本身不能讓我感到痛苦。我對痛苦的忍耐力不強，想到臨死前在病床上長久地受煎熬，我會感到憂慮。一個人終其一生在重壓下努力奮斗，勇敢平靜地與命運抗爭，在生命即將終結(jié)時，竟因為疾病這個弱點而蒙受恥辱，真讓人扼腕。但是，幸好我并沒有經(jīng)常受到這種黑暗預測的困擾。

I always turn out of my way to walk through a country churchyard; these rural resting-places are as attractive to me as a town cemetery is repugnant. I read the names upon the stones, and find a deep solace in thinking that for all these the fret and the fear of life are over. There comes to me no touch of sadness; whether it be a little child or an aged man, I have the same sense of happy accomplishment; the end having come, and with it the eternal peace, what matter if it came late or soon? There is no such gratulation as Hic jacet. There is no such dignity as that of death. In the path trodden by the noblest of mankind these have followed; that which of all who live is the utmost thing demanded, these have achieved. I cannot sorrow for them, but the thought of their vanished life moves me to a brotherly tenderness. The dead, amid this leafy silence, seem to whisper encouragement to him whose fate yet lingers: As we are, so shalt thou be; and behold our quiet!

我常常會在散步時繞道穿過一個鄉(xiāng)村墓地，這些鄉(xiāng)村安息地對我充滿吸引力，就像城鎮(zhèn)的公墓令我感覺厭惡一樣。我讀著刻在石頭上的那些名字，想到對他們來說，生活中所有的煩惱和恐懼都已經(jīng)結(jié)束，便會感到一種深沉的慰藉。我沒有感覺一絲悲傷的情緒，不管那是一個小孩子還是耄耋老翁，我都有同樣的快樂的成就感；生命已走到盡頭，隨之而來的是永恒的平靜，既然如此，時間的早或晚又有什么關(guān)系呢？沒有比“長眠于此”更讓人滿足的事，沒有比死亡更體面的事。在人類最高貴之士走過的道路上，這些人追隨而去；活著的人的終極要求，這些人也都達到了。我不能為他們感到悲傷，但是想到他們消逝的生命，我對他們萌發(fā)出了兄弟般的溫情。那些在枯葉覆蓋的沉默中安息的死者，似乎在輕聲鼓勵著生命尚存的人們：我們的今天，就是你的明天，看看我們的寧靜吧！