老外在中國：記一次北京公交車上的歷險

Venturing out to tourist sites during a holiday can be risky business. You can be stuck for hours in traffic or, worse, get trampled.

選擇節(jié)假日去景點是件冒險的事。趕上交通不暢，能堵好幾個小時，更為糟糕的是，你還可能被踩到。

I won’t forget one visit I made to the Great Wall. The human horde inching along the parapet would have made a canned sardine grateful for his spacious quarters.

我忘不了之前有一回去長城，人流沿著城墻一寸一寸向前移動。那景象連罐子里的沙丁魚看了都會感恩。相比之下，它們的空間畢竟還算寬敞。

And so it was with some trepidation last week that my wife and I hopped onto the subway and headed off to the Beijing Botanical Garden. On the bus from the station to the garden’s gate, I stoically refused to think about what we were about to face.

正因如此，上周我和妻子擠上地鐵去往北京植物園的時候，心里還有點惴惴不安。從地鐵站開往植物園門口的那段公交上，我刻意不想接下來可能會面對什么。

Surprise! The crowd inside was moderate, the skies were blue and many flowers were still in bloom. It was perfect. When the warm autumn day settled to dusk, it was time to board a bus for the return trip.

出乎意料!園中的游客數(shù)量只是中等不是很多，天空湛藍(lán)，簇簇鮮花仍在綻放。一切堪稱完美。等到和暖的秋光開始轉(zhuǎn)暗，我們就該坐公交返程了。

This is where things got interesting.

而事情從此刻變得有點意思。

Everybody seemed to be leaving at once, and virtually every bus was crammed with people. Few stopped, and even the ones that did were hopelessly jammed.

這時候，似乎每個人都開始離開園區(qū)，只見每輛公交都差不多塞滿了乘客。沒有幾輛會靠站停車，而且即便停下，車?yán)镆惨褦D得下不去腳。

Eventually, we managed to edge our way aboard a bus that was packed, bow to stern, but had a few cubic centimeters of breathable air. Somehow I ended up standing behind the driver, shoved there helpfully by the mass of bodies behind me.

后來，我們終于擠上了一輛從車頭到車尾都塞滿了乘客的公交。不過這輛車倒還有那么一點點喘氣的空間。不知怎么，最終我被身后的人群推搡著挪到了司機身后的位置。

I envied the sardine.

我不禁羨慕起沙丁魚。

Well, at least we’re the last passengers, I thought. Silly me.

不論怎樣，我們這最后一批乘客總歸搭上了公交。誰知，我想的太簡單了。

The driver stopped again, and yet more people shouldered in — I don’t know how. They flowed into the slimmest of spaces. Everyone aboard shifted to the rear and tried to become thinner. At the next stop, this routine was repeated, and two or three more passengers got in. People compressed themselves ever more tightly down the center aisle as the driver shouted instructions.

司機再次停車，更多的人摩肩接踵地擠了進來——真不知他們是如何做到的。他們見縫插針填進了空檔。所有人都向后方挪動，并極力讓自己變得纖細(xì)些。等車開到下一站，同樣的情形再度上演，又有兩三個人上了車。按照司機喊出的指示，位于中間過道的人們把自己一縮再縮。

There were now 19 (!) people stuffed into the stairwell next to the driver. If you could have seen it from the outside, faces would have been plastered comically against the glass. Now it was clearly impossible to take on another passenger.

此時，司機旁邊的車門臺階區(qū)域塞了19個人!如果你從車外向里看，定能看見人們的面容滑稽地貼到了窗玻璃上。顯然，車?yán)镌僖膊豢赡芗拥眠M人了。

Silly me.

事情可沒有那么簡單。

At the next stop a woman beat on the door, shrieking at the driver. Unbelievably, he opened it! She would not be denied. After several minutes of shouting and jostling, a couple of men winched the woman onto the step but couldn’t close the door. Finally, they forcibly pulled the doors shut around her. As the glass bulged outward, I worried the whole bus might explode like an overinflated balloon.

接下來一站，一位女士猛敲車門，沖著司機大喊大叫。簡直叫人難以置信，司機竟打開了車門!女士并沒有遭到拒絕。幾分鐘的吵嚷推搡，兩位男士費盡氣力將女士拉上了臺階，可車門卻關(guān)不上了。最后，大家一起強推她身旁的兩扇車門，才終于合上。看到車窗玻璃向外鼓起，我擔(dān)心整輛車會像充氣過多的氣球一樣發(fā)生爆炸。

Proceeding to the subway station, the driver took the corners gingerly. The vehicle swayed, its high center of gravity threatening a rollover. But it stayed up.

公交車一路開往地鐵站，司機拐彎時開得小心翼翼。車廂有些搖晃，強大的離心力似乎要將車身掀翻，但還是穩(wěn)住了。

When, thankfully, we stepped off, I was irritated. I told my Chinese wife that overloading a bus like that created a public safety hazard. She upbraided me gently.

謝天謝地我們下車了，這時我有點憤怒。我告訴自己的中國媳婦，公交車超載這么多人會給公共安全帶來隱患。她溫和地反駁了我。

“This is normal in China,” she said sweetly. “There are a lot of people here. He is a good driver, trying to help as many people as he can.”

“在中國這是正常的，”她和氣地說道。“有這么多人要坐公交。司機師傅車技過硬，自然希望能盡力幫助更多的人。”

When I continued my protest, she resorted to her wife voice: “If you don’t like it, go back to your own country.”

我繼續(xù)向她抗議，但妻子拿出了家里領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的口吻：“如果你受不了，就回你自己的國家吧。”

Ohh-kayy. End of discussion. I know when I’m beaten.

哦，好吧，談話到此結(jié)束。我知道自己輸了。