延年益壽

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle- aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. "Will I die?" she asks.
God says, "No. You have 30 more years to live."
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed.
Up in heaven, she sees God. "You said I had 30 more years to live," she complains. "That’s true," says God.
"So what happened?"
God shrugs. "I didn’t recognize you."

一個(gè)中年婦女因心臟病發(fā)而動(dòng)手術(shù)的時(shí)候在床邊看到了上帝。
“我會(huì)死掉嗎？”她問上帝。
上帝說：“不會(huì)。你還要活三十年。”
既然還有三十年可活，這位女士打算好好享用剩下的時(shí)光，于是她趁住院期間隆了下胸，抽了下脂，縮了下腹，植了下發(fā)，給嘴唇注射了下膠原蛋白。她看上去神采奕奕。
出院的那天她昂首闊步地走出醫(yī)院的大門、穿過街道，但是立即被一輛救護(hù)車撞死了。
在天堂她見到了上帝，向他抱怨：“你說過我還有三十年可活啊！”
“是的，”上帝回答。
“那我怎么就被撞死了呢？”
上帝聳了聳肩：“我沒有認(rèn)出你來。”