幽默笑話精粹58：三個(gè)修道士

There were three pious monks. These monks were so pious，in fact，that the head abbot decided one day to reward their devotion by granting them each one day of sin，on the condition that they confess their activities to him at the end of the day.

有三個(gè)虔誠(chéng)的修道士，他們非常的虔誠(chéng)，以至于修道院院長(zhǎng)決定，在他們?cè)敢饨淮惶斓乃魉鶠榈臈l件下，允許他們每個(gè)人犯一回戒，以示對(duì)他們虔誠(chéng)的獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)。

So，the day come，and the three monks went off into the night to indulge in all manner of sin.

所以，當(dāng)這天夜色來(lái)臨的時(shí)候三個(gè)修道土就趁著夜色下山去犯戒去了。

The first monk sauntered in at 1:00 in the morning, and tried to sneak upstairs to bed. But the head abbot，who was waiting up for the three，stopped him and demanded that he relate his doings.

第一個(gè)修道士在凌晨一點(diǎn)的時(shí)候悄悄地回來(lái)了，他想偷偷的上樓睡覺去，但是正在等待三人的院長(zhǎng)叫住了他，問他都干了什么。

"No, head abbot，”the first monk said，"it’s too evil for me to admit!”

“沒干什么，院長(zhǎng)”，第一個(gè)修道士說，“對(duì)于我來(lái)說那太壞了，我不能說出來(lái)!”

"'The deal was for you to tell me everything you did，otherwise you will not receive absolution!” said the abbot.

“說好的，你告訴我所有你千的事情，否則不能免你的罪!”院長(zhǎng)說。

So the first monk agreed to tell what he did. "I-I-I drank! And I did all manner of drugs! And 1 smoked marijuana, cocaine and. . .”

第一個(gè)修道士就同意說出他干了什么。“我，我，我喝酒了!我吸了各種各樣的毒品!我吸了大麻、可卡因、還有……”

"Enough!”said the head abbot，enraged. "Those are evil sins, but I promised to forgive you. Go out back，drink some Holy Water, say some prayers and you will be forgiven in the morning.”

“夠了!”院長(zhǎng)生氣地說，“那些太罪過了，但是我曾許諾原諒你，回去喝一些圣水，然后祈禱，早上就會(huì)被原諒的。”

The first monk thankfully went off to follow the abbot’s instructions.

第一個(gè)修道士感激地走了，他去按照院長(zhǎng)的指示去做了。

The second monk wandered in at 2:00 AM. "What did you do last night?" demanded the head abbot.

第二個(gè)修道士在凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)的時(shí)候回來(lái)。“你昨晚做了什么?”院長(zhǎng)問。

"I can’t say! It's much too evil!”

“我不能說!那太罪惡了!”

"The agreement was that you must tell me everything you did!”

“我們說好的，你必須告訴我!”

"Okay，”agreed the second monk." I had all kinds of meat. l had port，beef ,chicken，horse,and even a dog...”

“好吧”，第二個(gè)修道士說，“我吃了各種各樣的肉。有豬肉、牛肉、雞肉、馬肉、甚至還吃了狗肉……”

Enough!” cried the head abbot. "That is a truly great sin. But I promised to give you absolution. Go out back and drink some Holy Water. “Then say some prayers and you will be forgiven in the morning.”

“夠了!”院長(zhǎng)大叫道:“那真是太罪過了。但是我曾許諾原諒你。回去喝一些圣水，然后祈禱，早上就會(huì)被原諒的。”

The second monk sauntered off to do just that.

第二個(gè)修道士按照院長(zhǎng)所說的去做了。

And the third and final monk crawled in at 3:00 in the morning.

第三個(gè)修道士最終在凌晨三點(diǎn)的時(shí)候回來(lái)了。

"What ," asked the head abbot, "did you do this evening?"

院長(zhǎng)問:“你昨晚干了什么?”

"No, head abbot, it's too great a sin to admit. I cannot tell!"

“不，院長(zhǎng)，那太罪惡了，我不能說!”

"The agreement, monk! You must tell me!"

“修道士，別忘了我們事先說好的。你必須告訴我!”

The third monk bowed his head and nodded. "All right, head abbot. Last night I…I…"

第三個(gè)修道士低下他的頭說:“好吧院長(zhǎng)，我說，昨天晚上我，我……”

"Yes?"

“怎么樣了?”

"I pissed in the Holy Water."

“我在圣水里撒了尿!”