Unit 4
Section A
Pre-reading Activities
First Listening
Please listen to a short passage carefully and prepare to answer some questions.
Second Listening
Listen to the tape again. Then answer the following questions with your own experiences.
1. How long does it take us to judge the people we meet?
2. What is one way you can have a positive effect on other people?
3. What is the key to being the best person you can be?
How to Make a Good Impression
Research shows we make up our minds about people through unspoken communication within seven seconds of meeting them. Consciously or unconsciously, we show our true feelings with our eyes, faces, bodies and attitudes, causing a chain of reactions, ranging from comfort to fear.
Think about some of your most unforgettable meetings: an introduction to your future spouse, a job interview, an encounter with a stranger. Focus on the first seven seconds. What did you feel and think? How did you "read" the other person? How do you think he read you?
You are the message. For 25 years I've worked with thousands who want to be successful. I've helped them make persuasive presentations, answer unfriendly questions, communicate more effectively. The secret has always been you are the message.
Others will want to be with you and help you if you use your good qualities. They include: physical appearance, energy, rate of speech, pitch and tone of voice, gestures, expression through the eyes, and the ability to hold the interest of others. Others form an impression about you based on these.
Think of times when you know you made a good impression. What made you successful? You were committed to what you were talking about and so absorbed in the moment, you lost all self-consciousness.
Be yourself. Many how-to books advise you to stride into a room and impress others with your qualities. They instruct you to greet them with "power handshakes" and tell you to fix your eyes on the other person. If you follow all this advice, you'll drive everyone crazy — including yourself.
The trick is to be consistently you, at your best. The most effective people never change from one situation to another. They’re the same whether they're having a conversation, addressing their garden club or being interviewed for a job. They communicate with their whole being; the tones of their voices and their gestures match their words.
Public speakers, however, often send mixed messages. My favorite is the kind who say, "Ladies and gentlemen. I'm very happy to be here" — while looking at their shoes. They don't look happy. They look angry, frightened or depressed.
The audience always believe what they see over what they hear. They think, "He's telling me he's happy, but he's not. He's not being honest."
Use your eyes. Whether you're talking to one person or one hundred, always remember to look at them. Some people start to say something while looking right at you, but three words into the sentence, they break eye contact and look out the window.
As you enter a room, move your eyes comfortably; then look straight at those in the room and smile. Smiling is important. It shows you are relaxed. Some think entering a room full of people is like going into a lion's cage. I disagree. If I did agree, I certainly wouldn't look at my feet or at the ceiling. I'd keep my eye on the lion!
Lighten up. Once in a staff meeting, one of the most powerful chairmen in the entertainment industry became very angry over tiny problems, scolded each worker and enjoyed making them fear him. When he got to me, he shouted, "And you, Ailes, what are you doing?"
I said, "Do you mean now, this evening or for the rest of my life?" There was a moment of silence. Then the chairman threw back his head and roared with laughter. Others laughed too. Humor broke the stress of a very uncomfortable scene.
If I had to give advice in two words, it would be "lighten up"! You can always see people who take themselves too seriously. Usually they are either brooding or talking a great deal about themselves.
Take a good hard look at yourself. Do you say "I" too often? Are you usually focused on your own problems? Do you complain frequently? If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you need to lighten up. To make others comfortable, you have to appear comfortable yourself. Don't make any huge changes; just be yourself. You already have within you the power to make a good impression, because nobody can be you as well as you can.
words: 707
NEW WORDS
impression
n. 1. the effect produced in sb.'s mind 印象,效果
2. an idea or opinion that one forms about sth. 感覺,感想
conscious
a. 1. realizing sth. 感覺到,意識到
2. fully awake; knowing what is happening around 處于清醒狀態(tài),有知覺的
consciously
ad. 意識到地,感覺到地,神志清楚地
unconsciously
ad. 無意識地,無感覺地,神志不清地
self-conscious
a. 1. nervous or embarrassed about the way one looks or appears 不自然的,難為情的,忸怩的
2. strongly aware of who or what one is or what one is doing 有自我意識的
self-consciousness
n. 害羞,忸怩;自我意識
attitude
n. 1. a position of the body 姿勢,姿態(tài)
2. the way one thinks and feels about sth. or sb. 態(tài)度,看法
reaction
n. 1. the way a person reacts to something 反應(yīng)
2. a course of change that occurs when two or more kinds of matter are put together 反應(yīng),作用
range
v. 1. occur (between certain limits)(在一定幅度或范圍內(nèi))變動,變化
2. put things in rows; order in a line or lines 排列;把……排成行
n. 1. a choice; a variety 種類;廣泛(性)
2. the distance over which an object can be sent or thrown; the distance over which a sound can be heard, etc. 射程;距離,范圍
introduction
n. 1. the introducing of one person to another 介紹,(正式)引見
2. the introducing of sth. 引進,采用
▲spouse
n. a husband or wife 配偶(指夫或妻)
interview
n. 1. a meeting and discussion with sb. seeking a job, etc.(對求職者等的)面談,面試
2. a discussion in which a television or radio reporter asks a person questions that he thinks listeners would like to hear the answers to (記者等的)采訪,訪談
vt. question a person in an interview 對……進行面談(或面試);對……采訪
encounter
n. a meeting with sb. that happens by chance 意外(或偶然)相遇
vt. meet or have to deal with (sth. bad, esp. a danger or difficulty) 遇到,遭遇(尤指危險或困難)
focus
v. direct attention, etc. to one point 使(注意力)集中
▲persuasion
n. the act of making sb. do sth., or not do sth., by arguing with them and advising them 說服,勸說
persuasive
a. able to persuade sb. to do or believe sth. 有說服力的,能使人相信的
presentation
n. the presenting of sth. 表現(xiàn),描述
physical
a. 1. having to do with one's body 身體的,肉體的
2. having to do with things that can be seen 物質(zhì)的,有形的,實物的
appearance
n. 1. what can be seen of a person, thing, etc. 外觀,外貌,外表
2. the act of beginning to exist or becoming within one's reach 出現(xiàn)
rate
n. 1. the speed with which sth. happens or is done 速度,速率
2. the number of occasion within a certain period of time when sth. happens 比率,率
pitch
n. the highness or lowness of a voice or a musical note(說話等)聲音(或音調(diào))的高低度;音高
tone
n. the quality of a sound, esp. of the human voice 音調(diào),音
gesture
n. a movement of the hand, head, etc. that expresses something 手勢,示意動作
absorb
vt. 1. hold sb.'s attention completely or interest sb. greatly 吸引……的注意力,使……感興趣
2. take in and hold sth. 吸收
▲stride
vi. walk with long steps, often because one is feeling very sure and determined 大踏步走,闊步行進
n. a long step 大步;步態(tài),步法
impress
vt. make sb. feel admiration and respect 給……深刻的印象,使欽佩
consistent
a. 1. always having the same opinions, standard, behaviour, etc. 一貫的
2. agreeing 一致的
consistently
ad. 一貫地,一直
speaker
n. a person who makes a speech to a group of people 演講者,演說家
depress
vt. make sb. unhappy 使抑郁,使沮喪
audience
n. a group of people who watch or listen to a play, concert, speech, the television, etc. 觀眾,聽眾
contact
n. 1. a state in which two people or things touch each other 接觸
2. communication with a person, official group, country, etc. 接觸,聯(lián)系,交往
relax
v. make or become less worried or stressed; spend time not doing very much 使(困難等)減少;(使)休息,放松
■lighten
v. make or become less heavy or forceful 減輕,放松
entertainment
n. things that interest and humour people 娛樂;供消遣的東西
roar
vi. make a loud, deep sound 大聲叫喊,咆哮
humor (英 humour)
n. the funny or pleasing quality or qualities of sb. or sth. 幽默,詼諧
▲brood
v. (over, on) worry, or think a lot about sth. that makes one sad (不快或怨忿地)想;憂傷;考慮
PHRASES AND EXPRESSIONS
make up one's mind
decide 下定決心,打定主意
range from... to...
occur from...to... 從……到……(范圍或幅度內(nèi))變化
focus on
direct (sth. such as one's attention) firmly on (a subject); pay attention to 使(注意力)集中在
drive sb. crazy
make sb. feel very angry or annoyed 逼得某人發(fā)瘋或受不了
at one's best
in one's best state or condition 處于最佳狀態(tài),在全盛時期
communicate with
speak to; send a message to; be understood by (sb.) 與……交談,與……交流
lighten up
sth. you say to tell sb. to stop being so serious or annoyed 放松,不要生氣
take ...seriously
treat a thing or person as important 認真地對待
PROPER NAMES
Ailes
艾爾斯(人名)
如何給人留下好印象
有研究顯示,我們對他人的判斷是根據(jù)我們最初遇到他們的七秒鐘里所進行的無言的交流形成的。 無論是有意識還是無意識,我們都會用我們的眼神,面部表情,形體動作和態(tài)度來表現(xiàn)我們的真實情感,從而使他人產(chǎn)生從舒適到害怕的一連串反應(yīng)。
想想那些讓你最為難忘的會面:被介紹給你未來的妻子或丈夫,一次求職面試,與陌生人的一次邂逅。 將注意力集中在最初的七秒鐘,你當(dāng)時有何感想?你是如何“解讀”他人的? 你認為他又是如何解讀你的?
你本人就是信息。二十五年來,我在工作中和數(shù)千個想要成功的人打過交道。 我?guī)椭麄?,使他們所作的演講有說服力,教他們?nèi)绾位卮鸩挥押玫奶釂?,以及如何與人更有效地溝通。 而所有這一切的秘訣都在于要懂得你本人就是信息。
如果你能利用你的優(yōu)點,別人就會愿意跟你在一起,并且愿意幫助你。 這些優(yōu)點包括:體貌、活力、語速、語音語調(diào)、手勢、眼神,以及使他人對你保持興趣的能力。 別人對你的印象就是根據(jù)這些因素形成的。
想想有哪幾次你確切知道你給人留下了好印象。你成功的原因又是什么? 那是因為你對你所談?wù)摰氖虑榉浅M度?,你?dāng)時完全沉浸其中,以至于你已經(jīng)完全沒有了羞澀的感覺。
保持自我。許多指導(dǎo)性的書籍會建議你大步走進一個房間,用你的優(yōu)點給別人留下深刻印象。 他們會教你以 "有力的握手"問候他人,并且告訴你要用雙眼注視對方。 可你如果遵循了所有這些建議,你會讓所有的人都受不了-包括你自己。
訣竅在于要始終如一地保持自我,保持你最佳狀態(tài)的自我。 給人印象最深的那些人從不隨著情境的變化而改變自己。 無論是在與人交談時,在花園聚會上發(fā)表演說時,還是在求職面試中,他們的表現(xiàn)是一樣的。 他們?nèi)硇呐c人交流;他們的音調(diào)和手勢與他們說的話保持著一致。
然而,演說家常常會傳遞一些混合不清的信息。 我覺得最有意思的一類演說家是那些看著自己的鞋子說:"女士們、先生們,我很高興來到這里。"而他們看上去并不高興。他們看上去或氣憤、或恐懼、或是沮喪。
聽眾總是相信自己親眼所見勝過耳聞。他們會想,"他告訴我他很高興,可他并不是這樣。他現(xiàn)在并沒有說實話。"
使用你的眼睛。不管你是和一個人交談,還是對一百個人發(fā)表講話,始終記住你要看著他們。 有些人在開始說話時會直視你,但一句話剛說了幾個字,他就會中斷與你目光的接觸,把目光移向窗外。
當(dāng)你走進房間時,目光從容地掃視;然后直視房間里的人,并對他們微笑。 微笑是很重要的,它表明你很放松。 有人認為走進一個滿是人的房間就像走進了一個獅子籠。 我不同意這種說法。就算我同意,我也肯定不會看著自己的腳或是天花板。我會注視那頭獅子。
放松。一次在員工會議上,一位娛樂業(yè)最有影響的董事長由于一些微不足道的問題大發(fā)雷霆,責(zé)備每一位員工,為能使員工害怕自己而感到滿足。 當(dāng)他走向我,對我喊道,“還有你,艾爾斯,你干些什么?”
我這樣說,“你是說現(xiàn)在,今晚,還是在我的余生中?” 之后有片刻的沉默。接著董事長掉過頭來放聲大笑。 其他的人也會跟著笑起來。幽默可以打破令人尷尬的場合中的緊張氣氛。
如果一定要我用兩個詞說出我建議的話,那就是“放松”! 你總會發(fā)現(xiàn)有一些人對待自己太過認真。 他們通常不是在沉思,就是在滔滔不絕地談?wù)撟约骸?br />
仔細地觀察一下你自己,你說“我”的次數(shù)是否過多? 你通常是否將注意力集中在你個人的問題上? 你是否經(jīng)常抱怨? 對于上述問題,哪怕只有其中一個你給出的是肯定的回答,那么你就需要放松了。 為了讓別人感到自在,你自己先要表現(xiàn)得輕松。 不必作出巨大的改變,只需要保持自我。 你本身已具備了給人留下良好印象的能力,因為要保持你的自我,只有你自己才能做得好,誰也代替不了你。