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英文詩(shī)歌:Dream of the Evil Servant

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2015年06月07日

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Dream of the Evil Servant
by Reetika Vazirani

New Delhi, 1967

1.  We kept war in the kitchen.

A set of ten bone china plates, now eight.

As if a perfumed guest stole her riches . . . The next day she wanted to leave at noon.

I said, be back by four, I'm paying you. She sat by the door, she put out her hand,her knuckles knocked against mine,hard deliberate knuckles. I gave her cash.

Off to watch movies, off to smoke ganja.

2.  She came back late and high as if my fear asked for it.

I called her junglee. Everything went off late ——  dinner, the children getting into bed;  but the guests understood:  they had servants too. She stuck diaper pins in my children.

I cursed her openly. Who shouted? Or I cursed her silently and went my way.

She stole bangles my husband's mother bought, bangles a hundred years old.

But she wore frayed jewelry hawked on the street. She was like a rock that nicked  furniture in corners you'd think only a rat could go.

3. Why didn't I dismiss her?

I don't know.

She got old as I got old.

I could see her sharp shoulder bones

tighten, her knuckled skull.

I had to look at her.

It had to wound me.

Listen, said my mother. Yes mother, I listened, crouched in my head.

Looking over the flowered verandah she said:

Who are you to think you are beautiful? What have you got to show?  Go sit on your rag.

All my life I tended to looks,they betrayed me. I bore you. I am wretched. Be my mother. Be my maid.


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