(中英)現(xiàn)代散文:雷峰塔下 Under Leifeng Pagoda

Under Leifeng Pagoda

雷峰塔下

◎ Lu Yin

◎　廬　隱

Han! Don't you remember that April day? We strolled about under Leifeng Pagoda on a lush green meadow sparsely studded with yellow flowers and then sat down side by side on the downy grass. Then you picked a yellow flower to fix it onto the front of the purplish lined cambric blouse I was wearing. You stared at me shyly and timidly like you feared I might refuse to take it. I too was afraid to look you in the face and probably blushed. I knew my heart was beating fast and sweat seemed to be oozing from my forehead.

涵①！記得吧！我們徘徊在雷峰塔下，地上芊芊碧草，間雜著幾朵黃花，我們并肩坐在那軟綿的草上②。那時(shí)正是四月間的天氣③，我穿的一件淺紫麻沙的夾衣，你采了一朵黃花插在我的衣襟上，你仿佛怕我拒絕，你羞澀而微怯的望著我④。那時(shí)我真不敢對(duì)你逼視，也許我的臉色變了，我只覺心臟急速的跳動(dòng)，額際仿佛有些汗?jié)瘛?

While the evening sunlight was gilding the tip of the pagoda and shedding its rosy rays on the rippling water in the middle of the West Lake, pairs of young lovers were seen floating past on their rowboats. Han! You then plucked up enough courage to softly hold me by the hand — our first ever physical contact. But I felt as if a sharp sword had pierced me to the heart and tears began to trickle down my cheeks unconsciously. And you too were somewhat tremulous. Han! At that moment I somehow had a premonition that things would not go well with us on our life journey.

黃昏的落照，正射在塔尖，紅霞漾射于湖心，輕舟蘭槳，又有一雙雙情侶，在我們面前泛過(guò)。涵！你放大膽子，悄悄的握住我的手，——這是我們頭一次的接觸，可是我心里仿佛被利劍所穿，不知不覺落下淚來(lái)，你也似乎有些抖顫，涵！那時(shí)節(jié)我似乎已料到我們命運(yùn)的多磨多難⑤！

Suddenly, as was characteristic of the capricious weather of the Lake area, a dark cloud emerged from the foot of a mountain followed by the far-off rumble of thunder. We were at first too much seized with tender feelings to notice the unpleasant rain and wind. Soon we got wet as the rain pelted down in big drops. We had each brought an umbrella with us when we first arrived, but later, seeing it was fine, had left them in a boat.

山腳上忽涌起一朵黑云，遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)的送過(guò)雷聲，——湖上的天氣，晴雨最是無(wú)憑，但我們凄戀著，忘記風(fēng)雨無(wú)情的吹淋，頃刻間豆子般大的雨點(diǎn)，淋到我們的頭上身上，我們來(lái)時(shí)原帶著傘，但是后來(lái)看見天色晴朗，就放在船上了。

The rain shower continued with wind and dust. We dashed to the boat, thoroughly drenched. All of a sudden I felt chilly and crouched down shivering. You covered me with a felt rug and sat close to me. Han! At that moment you still didn't dare to open your heart to me!

雨點(diǎn)夾著風(fēng)沙，一直吹淋。我們拼命的跑到船上，彼此的衣裳都濕透了，我頓感到冷意，伏作一堆，還不禁抖顫，你將那墊的氈子，替我蓋上，又緊緊的靠著我，涵！那時(shí)你還不敢對(duì)我表示什么⑥！

It cleared up after dusk. We sat on a lakeside bench admiring the moon. You said to me in a whisper, "Under Leifeng Pagoda, that's where we'll leave a significant imprint of our life history!" I hang my head and kept silent. Han! Truly, I always doubted whether we would be happy together.

晚上依然是好天氣，我們?cè)诤叺囊巫由献?，看月。你悄悄?duì)我說(shuō)：“雷峰塔下，是我們生命史上一個(gè)大痕跡！”我低頭不能說(shuō)什么，涵！真的！我永遠(yuǎn)覺得我們沒有幸福的可能！

Oh, Han, that very night you made known to me your pent-up feelings. As a timid and weak girl, I just couldn't say no to you though I feared what the future might have in store for us.

唉！涵！就在那夜，你對(duì)我表明白你的心曲，我本是怯弱的人，我雖然恐懼著可怕的命運(yùn)，但我無(wú)力拒絕你的愛意！

After coming back from Leifeng Pagoda, we, as lovers, passed four difficult years. However, by the end of the four years, we finally came through and had every obstacle cleared away. We revisited this place in April and put up at the same hotel. The same dusk, the same Leifeng Pagoda. Han! This time we felt absolutely free. We embraced and held each other by the hand as much as we liked. How proud we were ...!

從雷峰塔下歸來(lái)，一直四年間，我們是度著悲慘的戀念的生活。四年后，我們勝利了！一切的障礙，都在我們手里粉碎了。我們又在四月間來(lái)到這里，而且我們還是住在那所旅館，還是在黃昏的時(shí)候，到雷峰塔下，涵！我們那時(shí)是毫無(wú)所拘束了。我們?nèi)吻榈膿肀В我獾奈帐?，我們多么驕傲…?

Han, in the following year Leifeng Pagoda toppled over. Do you remember how we mourned over it? But little did I then expect that in October of that year you would depart this life leaving everything behind and be gone, never to return! Ah, Han, I used to grieve over the collapse of the Pagoda, but, now, oh, now I am thankful for its collapse for it has also blotted out the imprint we together left there.

但是涵！又過(guò)了一年，雷峰塔倒了，我們不是很凄然的惋惜嗎？不過(guò)我絕不曾想到，就在這一年十月里你拋下一切走了，永遠(yuǎn)的走了！再不想回來(lái)了！呵！涵！我從前惋惜雷峰塔的倒塌，現(xiàn)在，呵！現(xiàn)在，我感謝雷峰塔的倒塌，因?yàn)樗牡顾?，可以撲滅我們的殘痕?

Han, it will soon be October again. You have been gone for three years! Has this human world gradually faded from your memory? Oh, father is getting on in years! Every time he writes me, he always speaks of you and refers to the relationship between us as something ordained by fate. Yes, we have been suffering retribution for our deeds in the former life.

涵！今年十月就到了。你離開人間已經(jīng)三年了！人間漸漸使你淡忘了嗎？唉！父親年紀(jì)老了！每次來(lái)信都提起你，你們到底是什么因果？而我和你確是前生的冤孽呢！

Han! Last year, due to the inconvenience caused by living in the school dormitory, I failed to hold a memorial ceremony for the second anniversary of your death as I had intended. All I could do then was scribble a memorial message and then have it burned. May your soul exist! How I am longing for you to make a distinct appearance in my dreams! But, alas, you never appeared!

涵！去年你的二周年紀(jì)念時(shí)，我本想為你設(shè)祭，但是我住在學(xué)校里，什么都不完全，我記得我只作了一篇祭文，向空焚化了。你到底有靈感沒有？我總癡望你，給我托一個(gè)清清楚楚的夢(mèng)，但是那有？！

Han, I did, however, once see you in my dream, but you looked so cold. Why? Does it mean that our relationship has come to an end? Han! You may have the heart to leave me and forget all about me! But you will never forget the imprint we have left under Leifeng Pagoda.

只有一次，我是夢(mèng)見你來(lái)了，但是你為甚那么冷淡？果然是緣盡了嗎？涵！你拋得下走了，大約也再不戀著什么！不過(guò)你總忘不了雷峰塔下的痕跡吧！

Han! Things have gone from bad to worse in this human world. Everything has changed since you departed. My family has also got into deep trouble. Father has failed in business. My two elder brothers are wandering overseas. Mother and my younger brother have moved to the countryside. And father, despite his inner sorrow, is still rushing about to raise money to clear up the debts. Han! All that would have troubled you when you were on your deathbed. Now, when I tell you all about what has happened, do you feel sad too?

涵！人間是更悲慘了⑦！你走后一切都變更了。家里呢：也是樹倒猢猻散，父親的生意失敗了！兩個(gè)兄弟都在外洋飄蕩，家里只剩母親和小弟弟，也都搬到鄉(xiāng)下去住，父親忍著傷悲⑧，仍在奔忙，籌還拖欠的債，涵！這都是你臨死而不放心的事情⑨，但是現(xiàn)在我都告訴了你，你也有點(diǎn)眷戀嗎？

As for me, I'm still battling on, and maybe you're not worrying for me. Han! The collapse of Leifeng Pagoda has been an omen of our ill luck. Now, on the occasion of the third anniversary of your death, let me offer this message to your soul in heaven as a token of my ever lingering love for you despite our separation.

我！大約你是放心的，一直掙扎著呢，涵！雷峰塔已經(jīng)倒塌了，我們的離合也都應(yīng)驗(yàn)了。——今年是你死后的三周年——我就把這斷藕的殘絲⑩，敬獻(xiàn)你在天之靈吧！

《雷峰塔下》是廬隱于1928年為悼念亡夫郭夢(mèng)良所寫的一篇祭文。文章回憶了作者與郭在杭州雷峰塔下的談愛、定情和同居的昔日情況，傾吐了不盡的緬懷之情，堪稱中國(guó)現(xiàn)代散文中的一篇佳作。茅盾曾在《廬隱論》一文中高度評(píng)價(jià)了這篇小品文。