Dad
The first memory I have of him- of anything, really is his strength. It was in the late afternoon in a house under construction near ours. The unfinished wood floor had large, terrifying holes whose big and opening darkness I knew led to nowhere good. His powerful hands,then age 33, wrapped all the way around my tiny arms, then age 4, and easily swung me up to his shoulders to command all I surveyed.
The relationship between a son and his father changes over time. It may grow and flourish in mutual maturity. It may sour in hated dependence or independence. With many children living in single-parent homes today, it may not even exist.
But to a little boy right after World War II, a father seemed a god with strange strengths and strange powers enabling him to do and know things that no mortal could do or know. Amazing things, like putting a bicycle chain back on,just like that. Or building a hamster cage. Or guiding a Jigsaw so it forms the letter F: I learned the alphabet that way in those pre-television days.
There were, of course, rules to learn. First came the handshake. None of those cold little finger grips, but a good firm squeeze accompanied by an equally strong gaze into the other’s eyes. "The first thing anyone knows about you is your handshake , ’he would say. And we’ d practice it each night on his return from work, the serious toddler in the battered Cleveland Indian’s cap running up to the giant father to shake hands again and again until it was firm enough.
爸爸
我對(duì)他的第一印象—一對(duì)他的任何事情的第一印象,說真的——是他的力量。在一個(gè)下午的晚些時(shí)候,在我家附近的工地上,那尚未完工的木制地板張著它那巨大恐怖的黑糊糊的嘴,給人以不祥之預(yù)感。父親時(shí)年33歲,他用他那有力的雙手抱起了4歲的我,把我放在他的肩膀上,讓我島瞰一切。
父子之間的關(guān)系隨著時(shí)間的變化而變化。它可以在父子間共同的成熟過程中發(fā)展深化,也會(huì)在充滿怨恨的不獨(dú)立或獨(dú)立的過程中變壞。由于現(xiàn)今社會(huì)許多孩子生活在單親家庭中,父子關(guān)系甚至可能不存在了。
但對(duì)于一個(gè)生活在二戰(zhàn)剛結(jié)束時(shí)的男孩來說,父親好像是神,他的神奇的力量和超凡的能力使他知曉一切,能做一切事,這是一般常人所辦不到的,像重新給自行車裝上鏈條或做一個(gè)倉鼠籠子或教我玩拼圖玩具拼出一個(gè)字母“F”這類奇妙的事,在那個(gè)沒有電視機(jī)的時(shí)代,我就是以這種方式來學(xué)習(xí)字母的。
當(dāng)然,還有一些做人的道理要學(xué)。首先是握手。握手不是那種冷冰冰的手指相握,而是一種強(qiáng)有力的握手,同時(shí)堅(jiān)定有力地注視對(duì)方。他會(huì)說,“人們首先是通過與你握手來了解你的。”每天晚上下班回來,我們練習(xí)握手。嚴(yán)肅認(rèn)真的剛會(huì)走路的小孩頭戴一頂破克利夫蘭印第安帽,踉踉蹌蹌地奔向威武高大的父親,與他一次又一次地握手,直至握得堅(jiān)定有力。