GRE寫作滿分范文六十五

The University of Claria is generally considered one of the best universities in the world because of its instructors' reputation, which is based primarily on the extensive research and publishing record of certain faculty members.  In addition, several faculty members are internationally renowned as leaders in their fields.  For example, many of the faculty from the English department are regularly invited to teach at universities in other countries.  Furthermore, two recent graduates of the physics department have gone on to become candidates for the Nobel Prize in Physics.  And 75 percent of the students are able to find employment after graduating.  Therefore, because of the reputation of its faculty, the University of Claria should be the obvious choice for anyone seeking a quality education. 

While the University of Claria appears to have an excellent reputation based on the accomplishments and reputations of its faculty, one would also wish to consider other issues before deciding upon this particular institution for undergraduate or graduate training.  The Physics and English departments are internationally known, but these are only two of the areas in which one might study.  Other departments are not listed; is this because no others are worth mentioning, or because no other departments bothered to turn in their accomplishments and kudos to the publicity office?  

The assumption is that because English and Physics have excellent brains in the faculty offices, their teaching skills and their abilities to pass on knowledge and the love of learning to their students are equally laudable.  Unfortunately, this is often not the case.  A prospective student would certainly be advised to investigate thoroughly the teaching talents and attitudes of the professors, the library and research facilities, the physical plant of the departments in which he or she was planning to study, as well as the living arrangements on or off campus, and the facilities available for leisure activities and entertainment.  

This evaluation of the University of Claria is too brief, and too general.  Nothing is mentioned about the quality of overall education; it only praises the accomplishments of a few recent graduates and professors.  More important than invitations to teach elsewhere, which might have been engineered by their own departmental heads in an attempt to remove them from the campus for a semester or two, is the relationship between teacher and student.  Are the teaching faculty approachable?  Are they helpful?  Have they an interest in passing on their knowledge?  Are they working for the future benefit of the student or to get another year closer to retirement?  How enthusiastic are the students about the courses being taught and the faculty members who teach those classes?  Are there sufficient classes available for the number of students?  Are the campus buildings accessible; how is the University handling all those cars?  Is the University a pleasant, encouraging, interesting, challenging place to attend school?  What are its attitudes about education, students, student ideas and innovations, faculty suggestions for improvement?  

What about that 75% employment record?  Were those students employed in the field of their choice, or are they flipping burgers and emptying wastebaskets while they search for something they are trained to do.  A more specific statement about the employability of students from this University is needed in order to make the argument forceful.  

The paragraph given merely scratches the surface of what must be said about this University in order to entice students and to convince them that this is the best place to obtain a quality education.  Much more work is needed by the public relations department before this can be made into a four-color brochure and handed out to prospective students.  

Commentary  

The University of Claria is generally considered one of the best universities in the world because of its instructors' reputation, which is based primarily on the extensive research and publishing record of certain faculty members.  In addition, several faculty members are internationally renowned as leaders in their fields.  For example, many of the faculty from the English department are regularly invited to teach at universities in other countries.  Furthermore, two recent graduates of the physics department have gone on to become candidates for the Nobel Prize in Physics.  And 75 percent of the students are able to find employment after graduating.  Therefore, because of the reputation of its faculty, the University of Claria should be the obvious choice for anyone seeking a quality education.