雅思寫(xiě)作范文演示與獨(dú)家點(diǎn)評(píng)

Task 1：The two bar charts below show the percentages of male and female students in secondary education and higher education for four different regions of the world in 2000.

　　此次圖形出現(xiàn)的是兩幅柱狀圖，在新東方的課堂上，關(guān)于柱狀圖我們主要分兩種寫(xiě)法：

　　1.如果橫軸有明顯的時(shí)間推移的話，烤鴨們應(yīng)連接柱子頂點(diǎn)，重在描述柱子的升降起伏，寫(xiě)法類(lèi)似于線狀圖。
　　2.如果無(wú)時(shí)間推移，則寫(xiě)法和餅狀圖一樣。即按照各比較對(duì)象所占比例的高低寫(xiě)，同時(shí)要注意4個(gè)地區(qū)男女生在中等教育和高等教育所占比例之間的比較。

　　可以用到的詞匯有：
　　1.表示“占多少”的動(dòng)詞
　　Account for
　　Take up
　　Make up
　　Contribute to
　　Have
　　Represent

　　2.表示“最高級(jí)”和 “比較級(jí)”
　　第一/最小 the largest/biggest proportion of
　　第二 the second/next largest/expensive（+ 形容詞的最高級(jí)）
　　第三 followed closely by
　　最低/最小 the smallest percent of all

　　3.表示“相同比例”
　　即在餅狀圖中遇到了比例相同或者差不多的餅，如有A B兩個(gè)比較對(duì)象。
　　A accounts for the same percentage as B .
　　The proportion of A is as high as B
　　A and B contributed equally/evenly to (all )
　　Task 2 ：Nowadays more and more work can be done by machines instead of hands. Do you think its positive impact on the development outweighs its negative impact on individuals or society?
　　該文屬于雅思寫(xiě)作18大領(lǐng)域中的科技類(lèi)，該類(lèi)的文章在雅思寫(xiě)作中的考察主要集中于現(xiàn)代科技（如這里的機(jī)械化大生產(chǎn)）對(duì)人們生活方式所產(chǎn)生的影響，具體體現(xiàn)在3個(gè)方面：
　　1. 科技的發(fā)展的影響是正面的還是負(fù)面（如2006.1.14）；
　　2. 科技發(fā)展使我們的閑暇時(shí)間變得更多還是更少（如2005.2.19）；
　　3. 科技發(fā)展對(duì)我們的文化、思想、觀念和社區(qū)有什么影響（如2007.3.31）。

　　寫(xiě)作示范
　　本文屬于第1點(diǎn)和第3點(diǎn)的組合型題目，典型的report 類(lèi)題型，利用黃金對(duì)稱(chēng)式寫(xiě)法全文分四段展開(kāi)。
　　首段交代背景，提出寫(xiě)作目的，共③ 句話。
　　①I(mǎi)t is an indisputable fact that machinery poses a significant effect on modern society, either on an individual or social level.
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：注意句型it is an indisputable fact that 短語(yǔ)：pose a significant effect on 和individual or social level.
　?、冖跦owever, when it comes to whether its positive effects outweigh the negative ones, opinions tend to vary. This essay aims to explore the issue from different perspectives and draw some suggestive conclusions.
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：注意短語(yǔ)：explore sth from different perspectives, draw some suggestive conclusions.
　　主題1段： 交代機(jī)械化對(duì)個(gè)人和社會(huì)的正面影響。共⑤句話。
　?、貼o one can deny the fact that modern machinery brings tremendous convenience and benefits to our lives .
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：該句此段的中心論點(diǎn)。注意雙重否定表肯定句型No one can deny the fact that 句式的使用；排山倒海結(jié)構(gòu) brings tremendous convenience and benefits 的使用?？荚嚧螅珖?guó)最大教育類(lèi)網(wǎng)站(www．Examda。com)
　?、赪ith the advent of little gadgets such as computers and mobile phones, people can conduct their business without meeting each other face to face, thus improving working efficiency, saving time and energy and gaining more leisure time of their own.
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：此句作為第一句的支持句，以computers and mobile phones 為例，指出電腦手機(jī)等通訊工具的發(fā)明使得人們極大地提高了自己的工作效率以及有了更多的閑暇時(shí)間可以支配。注意with以及thus improving等結(jié)構(gòu)引導(dǎo)的伴隨狀語(yǔ)表因果。由此得出啟示：表達(dá)因果不一定要用because 或者是so這樣的老熟人。
　　 ③Invention of the Internet triggers an even bigger revolution both in people's lifestyles and the developing pattern of the whole society. ④Because of E-banking, E-trading and on-line shopping, gone are the days when people had to obtain what they needed in some tangible supermarket or met their business partner in another city.⑤Moreover,telecommuters may sit comfortably at home as all the business can be performed on-line without going to the office, therefore reducing the potential risk of traffic congestion, urban air pollution and petrol use.
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：③④⑤句利用排比的形式從因特網(wǎng)發(fā)明的角度說(shuō)明其對(duì)個(gè)人工作以及社會(huì)發(fā)展方式的影響，注意E-banking, E-trading and on line-shopping, traffic congestion, urban air pollution and petrol use.等專(zhuān)有詞匯的使用；triggers an even bigger revolution, reducing the potential risk of 等短語(yǔ)的嫻熟使用以及gone are the days when句式的信手捏來(lái)都有可能構(gòu)成考生的潛在加分點(diǎn)。
　　主題2 段： 交代科技發(fā)展所帶來(lái)的消極影響，共⑥句話。
　?、貯t the same time,however, one must not fail to see the detrimental effects brought about by these modern tools.
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：At the same time,however筆鋒一轉(zhuǎn)，讀者可以預(yù)料作者接下來(lái)會(huì)討論現(xiàn)代科技所帶來(lái)的負(fù)面影響，注意句型：one must not fail to see sth 以及短語(yǔ)the detrimental effects of sth brought about by sth的使用。
　?、贛obiles, for instance, become permanent public intruders as people tend to speak at an increased volume and cause enormous disturbance to others.③Moreover,some addicts seem to be more prone to certain type of cancers and motorists may suffer a higher risk of collisions and losing control of the vehicle when driving and talking on the phone simultaneously.
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：接下來(lái)從手機(jī)帶來(lái)的負(fù)面影響入手，指出其所帶來(lái)的噪音污染，引發(fā)癌癥以及交通事故的潛在危險(xiǎn)。 注意專(zhuān)有詞匯： addicts,motorists, collisions ,public intruders以及短語(yǔ)be prone to sth, suffer a higher risk of sth 的使用。
　　 ④Plus, Internet becomes another thief who steals people of the time to perform leisure and recreational activities, making people become socially isolated and suffer serious loss of vision, back pain and obesity. ⑤In addition, the overwhelming amount of information on line deprives them of the ability of think creatively ,as the only thing they need to do is absorb what is available on line, thus stooping to become passive receivers rather than active thinkers. ⑥Some on-line games and TV shows may even contain pornographic or violent elements which distracts teenagers away from their study and become potential criminals of our society.
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：再次利用層層推進(jìn)的形式將常常被許多考生寫(xiě)過(guò)的因特網(wǎng)弊端一網(wǎng)打盡，講得精講得透才不至于落入俗套，同時(shí)在語(yǔ)言上采用的各種修辭格如：擬人Internet becomes another thief who steals people of ,押韻：passive receivers rather than active thinkers.排比使得考生的英文功底在考官面前如“風(fēng)吹草低見(jiàn)牛羊”之姿態(tài)展開(kāi)。
　　結(jié)尾段：總結(jié)全文，重申論點(diǎn)，共②句話。
　　 To conclude, modern machinery brings both positive and negative effect on people's living. However, as sensible individuals in this society, we need to harness the great convenience it brings and try to minimize the potential risks arising from this process.
　　語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)評(píng)：對(duì)于科技類(lèi)的文章，科技為雙刃劍的結(jié)論雖然被奉為圭臬但是考生完全可以用不同的語(yǔ)言來(lái)表達(dá)這一結(jié)論， harness the great convenience it brings and try to minimize the potential risks arising from this process. 遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)要比：Technology is a double edged sword 或者是Every coin has two sides這樣的語(yǔ)言要好很多。