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雅思大作文中常見的邏輯錯(cuò)誤

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2018年03月08日

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  雅思大作文中常見的邏輯錯(cuò)誤!寫作文關(guān)鍵是邏輯和語言兩個(gè)層面。邏輯是宏觀框架,語法和詞匯是微觀結(jié)構(gòu)。一個(gè)學(xué)生應(yīng)該先學(xué)會(huì)如何做到“一針見血”地扣題論證,沒有宏觀扣題,只想通過堆砌句型和詞匯很難考到理想的分?jǐn)?shù)。今天咱們說說寫作邏輯問題!

  常見的邏輯錯(cuò)誤在題目和段落擴(kuò)展中都有出現(xiàn)~

  01 審題邏輯錯(cuò)誤-未抓準(zhǔn)題眼

  下面這個(gè)題目,常見的跑題觀點(diǎn)有:“reading books可以增加知識(shí)”、“看書可以開拓視野”、“TV和Internet上有的知識(shí)更多”。

  T1: Some people think reading books is more useful in developing young people’s languages skills and imagination than watching TV and surfing the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  為什么這些觀點(diǎn)是跑題的呢?

  因?yàn)檫@寫觀點(diǎn)絲毫沒有提及“language skills and imagination”這個(gè)“目標(biāo)關(guān)鍵詞(goal keywords)”。目標(biāo)關(guān)鍵詞是主題關(guān)鍵詞在題中執(zhí)行的動(dòng)作或者產(chǎn)生的效果,所以目標(biāo)關(guān)鍵詞是一個(gè)題目的“題眼”。一旦偏離“題眼”,必定下筆千言,離題萬里。

  再來對(duì)比下面這道題目:

  T2: Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching television or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  在這個(gè)題目中,并未出現(xiàn)“language skills and imagination”這個(gè)明顯的關(guān)鍵詞,只出現(xiàn)了一個(gè)“better than”,限定條件更少,所以可以寫更多的觀點(diǎn)。但是這個(gè)題目對(duì)主題關(guān)鍵詞有限定,因?yàn)檫@個(gè)題目講到的是“reading stories”。

  02 審題邏輯錯(cuò)誤-單詞誤事

  關(guān)鍵詞匯的領(lǐng)悟錯(cuò)誤,會(huì)導(dǎo)致整個(gè)題目的崩塌。那么由于詞匯量的限制導(dǎo)致跑題的場(chǎng)景也很多。如下,很多同學(xué)qualification理解為“品質(zhì)quality”,于是......

  T3: Nowadays, it is widely accepted that social skills are as important as good qualifications for success in a job. Do you agree or disagree?(x/y并列型)

  題目里“national identities文化身份感”這個(gè)詞匯很多同學(xué)不認(rèn)識(shí),所以寫成其他的自己猜測(cè)的意思,然后跑題的情況也很多。比如說,有個(gè)學(xué)生考完后告訴我說“national identities”他猜測(cè)是“國(guó)家機(jī)密”,那么肯定要跑題。

  T4: Some people regard the increasing business and cultural contact between countries as a positive development. Others, However, feel these leading to loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  03 段落拓展中邏輯錯(cuò)誤的情況

  這類情況比較復(fù)雜,結(jié)合下面這個(gè)例子,大家可以自己思考一下~

  T5: Some people think governments should focus the spending only on public services rather than wasting money on arts (music, printing, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  由于本題目是一種很多特點(diǎn)的題型,文章的論證應(yīng)該結(jié)合一個(gè)正確的思路模板。

  x/y選擇型的基本模板

  開頭: I totally disagree with the viewpoint that…, because I believe X and Y are equally important.

  主體1: There is no doubt that X is of great importance/significance.

  主體2: However, I believe Y is equally important.

  First of all,__. Furthermore,__.

  結(jié)尾: In conclusion, although the significance of X cannot be ignored, I believe Y is of equal importance.

  于是,案例出現(xiàn)了:

  學(xué)生版本1:偷換概念,隔山打牛

  There is no doubt that public services are of great significance. First and foremost, human development1 relies on public services that a country can provide. For instance, if a country was not able to provide general compulsory education2, which plays a vital role in public services, people in this country would not lead a life as good as others living in those countries that have the ability to provide this. What’s more3, public services are of significance to the satisfactory of members of society to a great extent. Only if a country has perfect public services, such as excellent education system, well-maintained medical system, wonderful transport system and stuff like that, can people living there reach a high level of happiness.

  錯(cuò)誤點(diǎn)評(píng)錯(cuò)誤01觀點(diǎn)空大泛

  文章寫到了“human development”,這個(gè)空大泛的觀點(diǎn),由于觀點(diǎn)太大,他后文的任何一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)都會(huì)被此觀點(diǎn)囊括,進(jìn)而會(huì)出現(xiàn)觀點(diǎn)的“交叉重復(fù)”。

  錯(cuò)誤02偷換概念“隔山打牛”

  偷換概念的邏輯是:“義務(wù)教育”是“公共服務(wù)”的重要部分,所以提供了“education”,社會(huì)就會(huì)進(jìn)步。所以此處已變成論證“義務(wù)教育”而不是直接論證“public services”。

  錯(cuò)誤03前文重復(fù)

  前面“human development”,然后他又再次寫出一個(gè)空泛的觀點(diǎn)“social satisfactory民眾對(duì)社會(huì)的滿意”,所以最終兩個(gè)觀點(diǎn)“既空泛又重復(fù)”。

  學(xué)生版本2:以舉例代替說理

  Another example to back up my belief is the development of art could improve some other industry like tourism and economy. For example, if governments pay more money on art galleries, which might attract more tourists such as the Louvre Museum in France. In addition, Japan is famous for its cartoon which is an important part of art, so that the Japanese government invests much funds to cartoon’s making and encourage cartoonists. Nowadays, cartoon plays a very significant role in Japanese economy.

  錯(cuò)誤點(diǎn)評(píng)錯(cuò)誤01以舉例代替說理

  議論文是“以理服人”,例子輔助解釋,做到“有理有據(jù)”。這位同學(xué)本來通過“Louvre Museum”的例子說明“政府投資藝術(shù)的必要性”很有效,但可惜沒論證。

  而他的做法是在“In addition”之后又寫了一個(gè)Japan的例子,導(dǎo)致出現(xiàn)多重邏輯錯(cuò)誤,堆砌例子忽略說理。

  錯(cuò)誤02未能先“有理”后“有據(jù)”

  在第二個(gè)邏輯部分中,此同學(xué)是想表達(dá)的是:cartoon之于Japan,正如羅浮宮之于法國(guó),那么就應(yīng)該在“in addition”說,art can boost economy這個(gè)觀點(diǎn). 然而這個(gè)同學(xué)轉(zhuǎn)到日本的卡通很出名,以一個(gè)例子“喧賓奪主”。

  議論文正確的論證邏輯是:先有觀點(diǎn),再寫例子;即:先“有理”后“有據(jù)”。

  舉例論證是很常見的論證方法,但切記“大量舉例不說明”,否則就會(huì)將核心“本末倒置”。

  由于篇幅問題,文中的語法錯(cuò)誤不再列舉~

  雅思大作文范文賞析

  Despite the undeniable importance of the general public services mentioned, it would be unreasonable and undesirable for the state to allot its financial budgets disproportionately, with one sector overwhelmingly outweighing another. (此句承接上文) From my perspective, the fiscal appropriation in art and recreation is by no means a waste of money; on the contrary, it is equally crucial to meet the public need as well as boost the local economy.(此句為“啟下”的過渡句,并作為下一段的主題句)

  Art and culture, including music, theatre and opera, can be a historical tradition in various countries. The West End theatre of London, comparable with the Broadway theatre in New York City, is a good case in point. Not only does the West End theatre reflect the history and culture of the United Kingdom, it also serves as a landmark of Central London, therefore becoming the national treasure of the proud British. (使用了美國(guó)百老匯和英國(guó)倫敦西區(qū)劇院的例子,去論證“藝術(shù)是一個(gè)國(guó)家的文化傳統(tǒng)”的論點(diǎn)。)More importantly, both the West End theatre and the Broadway theatre are major tourists attractions, offering entertainments for local Londoners and New Yorkers and earning remarkable revenue from oversea visitors. Hence, governmental funding in art and theatre would be paid off.(通過最后一句照應(yīng)題目“政府應(yīng)該重視art”收束全文,同時(shí)與本段主題句遙相呼應(yīng),乃本文畫龍點(diǎn)睛之筆。)


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