陳豪在北京的ABC美國公司工作。他和美國同事Amy剛剛開完會。
(Office ambience)
A:陳豪,Do you have a few minutes to talk?
C:Sure, 有什么事嗎?
A:I noticed something in our meeting just now. 做為朋友,我覺得應該告訴你。It has to do with good etiquette.
C: 我有什么地方做得不對嗎?西方禮節(jié)對我來說還有些陌生,你可得隨時提醒我。
A: It has to do with body language, specifically eye contact.
C:肢體語言?Amy, 你能說得具體點兒嗎?
A:We send nonverbal messages with our arms, our legs, our posture, our gestures and most often with our eyes.
C:你是說能從我眼睛里能看出我的想法嗎?
A:沒錯。比方說,今天開會時,your eyes said more than your words or your facial expression. Todd 介紹提案時,我能看出你不同意他的意見。
C:奧, 你從我眼睛就能看出來?我真的是有異議。可你看出來的?我可是一字都沒說呀。
A: You didn't have to. You rolled your eyes.
C: 我翻眼睛了嗎?我怎么一點兒都沒覺得。
A:你是下意識的。You were not aware, but several people at the meeting noticed.
C:那就是說雖然我嘴上沒表示反對,其它人還是能夠看出來。Was there anything else that I did with my eyes?
A:Unfortunately, yes. You looked away several times while Todd was speaking.
C:這有什么不好嗎?他說的我都聽過好幾遍了。
A:沒錯。By not looking at Todd, you gave the impression that you had heard it all before and were not the least bit interested in hearing more.
C:這我可沒想到。我一直在努力管住自己的嘴巴,不要亂講話。
A:Well, your eyes did that for you.
C: Amy, 你還從我的眼神兒里看出什么了?
A:When you lost complete interest in what Todd was saying, you just stared at him blankly. It was that old "deer in the headlights" look.
C:“車前燈里的鹿”是什么意思啊?
A:For the deer facing the headlights of an oncoming car, its expression is one of looking, but not seeing.
C:你是說我的眼睛雖然看著Todd,但是別人能看出來,我其實并沒有聽進去?
A:That's right. The courteous professional is as conscious of his body language as he is his spoken language.
C: Amy, 你能不能再提醒我一下,以后要怎么做,省得我的眼睛把我的想法都泄漏出去了。
A:記住,眼睛是心靈的窗口。Learning to control the message that your eyes send is the key to courteous communication.