戀愛(ài)物語(yǔ)4個(gè)方法教你對(duì)討厭的人說(shuō)"No"

 

【視頻文本】

How To Be Assertive

Learn how to take control of your life by effectively communicating with others. Confrontation doesn't have to be unpleasant; it can be a vehicle in which you get to broadcast your feelings and thoughts to someone, if done properly.

Step 1: Confront The Issue（提出反對(duì)）
Start off with showing empathy for the other person's feelings. This shows them that you understand their point of view and you're not trying to pick a fight. Then describe your unhappiness. This tells them why you need something to change. Finally, state exactly what you would like to see change in the other person's behavior.

Step 2: Communication Dos And Don'ts（習(xí)慣用“行”或“不行”）
Don't lose your temper. Keep your voice calm and maintain a pleasant but serious facial expression. Don't accuse, judge or blame the other person; instead, focus on the problem you're having. Use your body to communicate, too; stand or sit up tall and maintain eye contact. Use "I" statements - for example, "I'd like to have some more time to get ready", instead of "You're always rushing me". Express ownership of your thoughts and feelings.

Step 3: Stay On Track（一直關(guān)注）
There are several ways the confrontation can get off track. Be sure to remain focused on the problem at hand. If you need to, keep repeating yourself until the other person gets what you're requesting. This is called the broken record technique. If the content of the argument shifts, slow down and re-evaluate. The real problem may be something bigger than the immediate topic.

Step 4: Just Say No（堅(jiān)持說(shuō)“no”）
Passive people commonly have trouble saying no. If you can't say no, you're not in charge of your life. Realize you do have a choice and if you say no, it doesn't make you a bad person and the other person will accept it as your answer. Decide on your position before you speak and if you need some time to think about it, it's OK to ask for more time. Finally, don't apologize for saying no, remember, it's your right to do so.

【詞匯講解】

1.Assertive adj. 斷定的，過(guò)分自信的

如："This is a very courageous, assertive Speaker, who is not unwilling when be identifies something he wants to do to put his reputation on the line, " said Mr. [Jim] Wright's chief lieutenant, Thomas A. Foley, ... "He likes to go out and grab the nettles." 
賴特[議長(zhǎng)]麾下主將福萊說(shuō)，"這是一位非常勇敢、直言不諱的議長(zhǎng)，要做的事，即令危及名聲，也在所不辭。"... "他喜歡去做棘手的事。"

2.Confrontation n. 對(duì)審，面對(duì)面，面對(duì)

如：Even a limited confrontation can escalate into a major war. 
即使是局部的對(duì)抗也可能擴(kuò)大成一場(chǎng)大戰(zhàn)。

A confrontation between opposing groups in which each attempts to harm or gain power over the other, as with bodily force or weapons. 
戰(zhàn)斗對(duì)立雙方之間的針?shù)h相對(duì)，每方都企圖傷害或統(tǒng)治對(duì)方，如用暴力或武力

3.empathy n. 移情作用，共鳴，執(zhí)著投入

如：There is a strange empathy between the old lady and her grandson. 
老婦人和她孫子間有種莫名其妙的心靈相通的感覺(jué)。

4.ownership n. 所有權(quán)

如：The family possessed documents that proved their right to ownership. 
這家人持有可以證明他們享有所有權(quán)的文件。

Socialist policy favours public ownership of the coal industry. 
社會(huì)主義的政策有利於在煤炭工業(yè)中推行公有制。

5.have trouble 在 ... 有困難

如：Students growing up from nursery school to college have trouble dealing with realities. 
從幼兒園到大學(xué)的大學(xué)生在如何應(yīng)付現(xiàn)實(shí)生活上都存在困難。

If you leave your bicycle out at night, you'll soon have trouble with rust. 
如果你把自行車(chē)放在露天過(guò)夜，要不了多入它就會(huì)生銹，那你就苦了