How To Give And Receive Compliments VideoJug and etiquette expert Diana Mather of PublicImage.com, have prepared a film on how to give and receive compliments. Giving and receiving compliments can help strengthen bonds and improve relationships, so listen carefully to these simple tips.
Step 1: Be sincere(真誠)
The key to giving compliments is sincerity. There is something about a fake compliment that is easy to spot, and is embarrassing for both giver and receiver.
A good compliment is a little outburst of enthusiasm and positivity, and as such should be delivered spontaneously and simply. If you prepare compliments in advance, or think too much about what you are going to say before you say it, you may end up sounding too smooth or too polished, which is suspicious.
So the rule should be, as soon as you are moved to say something nice, do so.
Step 2: Be simple and specific(簡介明了)
Be specific and concentrate on a single achievement rather than making a generalization. This shows sincerity because you realize the importance of that achievement. For example, instead of saying 'you are an excellent cook', compliment them on a specific dish, 'That quiche was simply delightful'.
Be wary of damning with faint praise, so don't qualify your statement by saying 'That quiche was excellent - considering the state of your kitchen'. Do not compare their achievement to somebody else's, or some other achievement. A compliment needs to flatter the receiver on it's own merits.
Step 3: Be timely(及時)
Giving a compliment in a timely manner is just as important as the sincerity of your compliment. So aim to deliver the compliment very soon after the achievement you are complimenting has been attained.
A compliment given in front of others conveys the fact that you want witnesses to hear proof of its sincerity.
If for some reason you miss the window of opportunity to make a spontaneous compliment, you can always come up with an excuse to write a note afterwards- a card saying thanks for dinner for example- and include your compliment within it.
Step 4: Receiving a compliment(接受稱贊時)
When someone compliments you, the simple steadfast rule is to smile and say thank you. Do not shrug off a compliment or disagree with what they are saying as this will show that you think the other person's judgment is poor, and dissuade them from complimenting you in future.
Another important rule is to not upscale a compliment. For example if someone says to you: "The board of directors liked your presentation today" Do not say something like: "Liked it? They absolutely loved it. It blew them away."
Another thing you should avoid if you have been given a compliment, is to immediately reply with one back. This can sound insincere, even if you mean what you say.
【詞匯講解】
1.etiquette n. 禮儀,禮節(jié),成規(guī)
如:Let us avoid the etiquette.
讓我們免除禮節(jié)。
The forms of ceremony and etiquette observed by diplomats and heads of state.
外交禮節(jié)外交官和國家元首遵守的禮節(jié)和禮儀形式
2.generalization n. 一般化,普遍化,概括,泛論
如:A generalization of arithmetic in which symbols, usually letters of the alphabet, represent numbers or members of a specified set of numbers and are related by operations that hold for all numbers in the set.
代數(shù)學計算的普遍原理,其中通常為字母表中字母的符號,其代表數(shù)字或一組特定數(shù)字中的幾個數(shù)字,它們通過對組中全部數(shù)字都適合的運算法則相聯(lián)系
3.come up with 提出,想出
如:The scientists are beating their brains trying to come up with a solution to the problem.
科學家正絞盡腦汁,力求找到解決這個問題的辦法。
Edwards's always chasing after rainbows and never come up with a really practical idea.
愛德華總是想入非非,從來提不出真正實際的意見。
4.dissuade vt. 勸阻
如:My teacher dissuade me from accepting the job.
老師勸我不要接受這份工作。
She tried to dissuade her son from marrying the girl.
她試著勸兒子不要與那女孩結(jié)婚。
5.upscale vt. 提高,提升
如:Cosmetics for the upscale market.
以上流階層為消費對象的化妝品