老爸老媽的浪漫史第四季21

[00:01.19]Great. So,um,I'll give you a call. [00:01.19]好吧 回去我打給你 [00:03.80]- I hope you do. - All right. [00:03.80]- 要記得哦 - 沒問題 [00:08.23]Look at this. [00:08.23]瞧瞧呀 [00:09.39]I just got that girl's number. Check it out. [00:09.39]我剛剛拿到那美女號碼了 你們看 [00:12.08]Holly. Nice. [00:12.08]叫Holly 干得好 [00:14.54]Girls whose names end in L-Y are always dirty. [00:14.54]女生名字要是以ly結(jié)尾 通常都很浪 [00:18.34]Holly,Kelly,Carly,Lily. [00:18.34]比如說Holly Kelly Carly Lily [00:23.65]Oh,yeah,I know it's true. [00:23.65]倒也沒說錯 [00:25.98]And don't even get me started on girlshose names should end in Y, [00:25.98]更別說那些本以為是名字以Y結(jié)尾 [00:30.35]but instead end in I. [00:30.35]其實是以I結(jié)尾的女生 [00:32.22]Those girls are like roller coasters. [00:32.22]搭上她們就像坐過山車那樣 [00:34.67]You got to wait in a long line,but once you get up there, [00:34.67]你得排一長條隊 可等你上車后 [00:36.94]you just hold on for dear life and hope you don't drop your keys. [00:36.94]你只會感嘆想要抓住美好的人生 希望別掉鏈子 [00:40.44]Hey,you know what I'm gonna do? [00:40.44]知道我要怎么做嗎? [00:41.63]I'm gonna call her right now. [00:41.63]我現(xiàn)在就打給她 [00:43.48]I'm gonna do that whole,"Hey,remember me? It's been so long." [00:43.48]我要跟她講 "嘿 還記得我吧? 有一陣子沒見了" [00:48.24]See,it's funny because I just saw her. [00:48.24]很有趣吧 因為我剛剛才見過她 [00:50.10]Dude,you can't call her. [00:50.10]兄弟 不能打給她 [00:51.44]You have to wait three days to call a woman. That's the rule. [00:51.44]你得三天后才能打給她 這是規(guī)矩 [00:54.15]Barney,that rule is completely played out. [00:54.15]Barney 這規(guī)矩已經(jīng)過時了 [00:56.11]Girls know exactly what you're doing. [00:56.11]女生們都知道你在想什么 [00:57.53]Hey,I got a new rule. [00:57.53]嘿 我來創(chuàng)造個新規(guī)矩 [00:59.75]It's kind of crazy,but I call it,You like her,you call her. [00:59.75]雖然有點不著調(diào) 我把它叫做 "喜歡她 就打給她" [01:04.35]I'm sorry. Can you repeat that? I don't speak I Never Get Laid. [01:04.35]不好意思 能再說一次嗎? 我不太懂"釣不到妞"語 [01:08.78]Barney,the Three Days Rule is insane. [01:08.78]Barney 三天之約太愚蠢了 [01:11.36]I mean,who even came up with that? [01:11.36]你說 誰提出來的? [01:14.64]Jesus. [01:14.64]耶穌 [01:16.13]Barney,don't do this. Not with Jesus. [01:16.13]Barney 別這樣 別把耶穌扯進(jìn)來 [01:18.93]Seriously. Jesus started the whole wait-three-days thing. [01:18.93]我認(rèn)真的 三天之約確實是耶穌創(chuàng)造的 [01:22.98]He waited three days to come back to life. [01:22.98]他被釘死第三天才復(fù)活的 [01:25.29]It was perfect. [01:25.29]這才完美嘛 [01:26.32]If he have only waited one day,a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. [01:26.32]要是他等一天就復(fù)活 很多人甚至都不知道他的死訊 [01:29.89]They'd be all,"Hey,Jesus,what up?" [01:29.89]不知情的就跟他打招呼 "嘿 耶穌 吃了飯沒?" [01:32.38]And Jesus would probably be,like,"What up? I died yesterday." [01:32.38]耶穌可能就會這么說 "吃啥飯呀? 我昨兒個死了" [01:36.66]And then they'd be all,Uh,you look pretty alive to me,dude. [01:36.66]而其他人就說 "呃 我看你還挺鮮活的呀 兄弟" [01:40.28]And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. [01:40.28]然后耶穌就得跟他們解釋 他是怎么奇跡般地復(fù)活的 [01:44.06]And then,the dude would be,like,Uh,okay,whatever you say,bro. [01:44.06]那些家伙就會說"好了 兄弟你就吹吧" [01:48.56]Wow,ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now. [01:48.56]古人說話咋這么做作 [01:51.65]And he's not going to come back on a Saturday. [01:51.65]然而他要星期六復(fù)活也不成 (耶穌星期日復(fù)活) [01:53.65]Everybody's busy doing chores. [01:53.65]大家都忙著家務(wù)事呢 [01:56.14]Working the loom,trimming their beards. No. [01:56.14]他們都在家織布 修胡須 復(fù)活可不成 (猶太人星期六不工作) [01:58.98]He waits the exact right number of days... Three. [01:58.98]他等到最適合的時間... 第三天 [02:03.63]Okay,I promise-- I'll wait three days. Just please stop talking. [02:03.63]好了 我保證第三天才打電話 拜托咱們轉(zhuǎn)話題吧 [02:07.87]Plus,it's Sunday,so everyone's in church already. [02:07.87]還有 那時是星期日 大家都在教堂呢 [02:10.98]They're all in there,Oh,no,Jesus is dead. [02:10.98]在教堂見到耶穌 說"不 耶穌竟然死了" [02:14.44]Then,bam! He bursts through the back door,runs up the aisle. [02:14.44]然后 砰! 他推開后門 穿過走廊 [02:18.43]Everyone's totally psyched. [02:18.43]大家都激動死了 [02:19.74]And,FYI,that's when he invented the high-five. [02:19.74]還有 你要知道 擊掌就是在那時發(fā)明的 [02:23.07]Three days,Ted. [02:23.07]三天 Ted [02:24.53]We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. [02:24.53]三天后再打給那女生 因為耶穌要我們等三天 [02:32.32]True story. [02:32.32]我可是說真的 [02:45.65]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode21 [02:45.65]老爸老媽浪漫史 第四季 第21集 [02:47.65]Okay,fine. I promise,I won't call Holly for three days. [02:47.65]好吧 我保證三天后再打給Holly [02:52.04]But I never said anything about texting. [02:52.04]可我沒說不能發(fā)短信 [02:54.77]I started things off with something cute and charming. [02:54.77]我發(fā)了一條可愛又迷人的短信 [02:57.70]"I was thinking about you,so I thought I'd send you a little texty text." [02:57.70]"我正想你呢 所以給你發(fā)條小短信" [03:01.99]And the moment I hit "Send," I realized it wasn't cute at all. [03:01.99]在我手指按上"發(fā)送"之時 我意識到這一點都不可愛 [03:06.55]texty text [03:06.55]小短信 [03:06.55]It was the lamest thing anyone has ever said to anyone. [03:06.55]對別人說這話 真是丟臉?biāo)懒? [03:10.01]And the worst thing about texting is that once you send it... [03:10.01]而發(fā)短信最大的缺點 就是一旦你發(fā)了出去... [03:15.80]Oh,no! No! [03:15.80]別! 別跑! [03:19.59]you can never get it back. [03:19.59]就覆水難收了 [03:21.78]And then... you wait. [03:21.78]然后...你就等著回信 [03:22.59]****** [03:22.59]23分鐘后 [03:24.36]And just when you've decided never to text anyone again... [03:24.36]就在你決定再也不給別人發(fā)短信的同時 [03:29.46]"I've been thinking about you,too, [03:29.46]"我也在想著你呢" [03:31.79]"and how weird is it that you texted me while I was in the bath?" [03:31.79]"收到短信時我就躺在浴缸 很奇怪吧?" [03:42.33]- What was that? - What? [03:42.33]- 你怎么了? - 啥? [03:43.81]- You made a noise. - That was my phone. I got a text. [03:43.81]- 你發(fā)出了奇怪的聲音 - 是我的手機(jī) 我收到短信了 [03:46.87]- Not that. You made your naked lady noise. - What? [03:46.87]- 不是說那個 你發(fā)出了裸女之聲 - 啥? [03:49.98]Whenever you see a naked lady,you make the noise. [03:49.98]每次你見到裸女 就會發(fā)出這種聲音 [03:56.10]I don't do that. [03:56.10]才不是呢 [03:57.44]Really? [03:57.44]真的嗎? [04:00.91]Oh,God,sorry,Lily. [04:00.91]不好意思 Lily [04:07.62]While the men are out hunting,the women of New Guinea's indigenous Korowai tribe [04:07.62]家里的男人都出去打獵了 新幾內(nèi)亞Korowai部落的女人 [04:11.51]wash their clothes in the river. [04:11.51]就會在河邊洗衣服 [04:21.10]That's totally a boob. [04:21.10]這肯定是胸部 [04:24.94]Is that Holly who keeps texting you? [04:24.94]是那個Holly給你發(fā)短信嗎? [04:26.87]Didn't you promise to wait three days? [04:26.87]你不是保證過要等三天嗎? [04:28.59]To call,yes. Texting is totally different. [04:28.59]不打電話嘛 發(fā)短信可不同 [04:31.53]Okay,well,just try to keep the naked lady noises to a minimum. [04:31.53]隨你了 只要把裸女之聲調(diào)到最低就好 [04:34.79]I don't make a naked lady noise. [04:34.79]我沒有發(fā)出裸女之聲 [04:38.67]Really? [04:38.67]真的? [04:46.25]Holly and I stayed up texting until 2:00 in the morning. [04:46.25]我和Holly互發(fā)短信直到凌晨2點 [04:50.46]And we spent the whole next day texting each other,too. [04:50.46]第二天我們也發(fā)了一整天短信 [04:54.07]She seemed perfect. [04:54.07]她真的很棒 [04:57.03]Holly just told me what she's wearing right now. [04:57.03]Holly剛跟我說她現(xiàn)在穿著什么 [05:00.07]It is pretty hot. [05:00.07]可真辣呀 [05:01.63]Yeah,whatever it is,I can guarantee you she's not wearing it. [05:01.63]不管是什么 我向你保證 她沒說真話 [05:04.70]She's lying to you to make you like her. [05:04.70]她在說謊 好讓你喜歡她 [05:06.26]- How do you know that? - Here. Come here. [05:06.26]- 你怎么知道? - 拿來 [05:09.03]Because no woman in the history of the world is ever [05:09.03]因為史上從來沒有女孩會 [05:11.63]"just sitting around reading architecture magazines in my old cheerleader uniform." [05:11.63]"穿著以前的啦啦隊制服 靜靜坐著看建筑雜志" [05:17.56]Okay,maybe she's lying about the architecture magazines. [05:17.56]好吧 或許看建筑雜志那是假的 [05:25.83]Oh,no. [05:25.83]噢 不 [05:27.38]- Oh,no. This is bad. - What? [05:27.38]- 噢 不 壞菜了 - 怎么了? [05:29.67]She just sent me a text that was clearly meant for someone else. [05:29.67]她剛剛發(fā)了條短信 明顯收信人就不該是我 [05:34.76]"Hey,baby,I picked up some take-out from Generro's. Be home soon." [05:34.76]"親愛的 我去Generro那兒帶點外賣 很快回來" [05:39.17]Okay,yes,this sounds bad,but let's think about this,okay? [05:39.17]聽起來不太妙 不過往好的方面想 [05:42.57]It could be for a brother or maybe her sick dad. [05:42.57]可能是她兄弟 或者是有個病了的爸爸 [05:46.44]Scroll down. [05:46.44]繼續(xù)看 [05:49.23]"And then I want you to do me on the couch." [05:49.23]"然后我要你在沙發(fā)上干我" [05:53.79]Okay,maybe not a sick dad. [05:53.79]好吧 不一定是個病老爸 [05:56.39]Or a very sick dad. Am I right? [05:56.39]可能是個變態(tài)老爸 對吧? [06:01.74]Sorry. [06:01.74]對不起 [06:04.34]Hey,guys. [06:04.34]大伙兒 [06:07.25]God. What is this? [06:07.25]這是啥? [06:09.95]It's just some take-out from Generro's. I'm bringing it home for Lily. [06:09.95]Generro's那兒的外賣 給Lily帶的 [06:12.64]Oh,that's weird. [06:12.64]奇怪了 [06:14.10]Holly just texted Ted something about take-out from Generro's. [06:14.10]Holly剛給Ted發(fā)了條短信 要去Generro's那兒帶外賣 [06:19.66]Wait a second. [06:19.66]等等 [06:21.79]- You sons of bitches. - What? [06:21.79]- 你們倆混蛋 - 怎么了? [06:25.35]You're Holly. [06:25.35]你們就是Holly [06:30.78]So Ted hasn't been texting Holly at all? [06:30.78]這么說給Ted發(fā)短信的人不是Holly? [06:33.80]He's been texting you two? [06:33.80]他一直在跟你們發(fā)短信? [06:35.43]Look,we knew he'd try to call her before the three days,so I swiped his phone, [06:35.43]我們就知道他忍不了三天 所以我偷了他電話 [06:39.75]and I changed her number to my work cell. [06:39.75]把那女生的號碼換為我的工作手機(jī)號碼 [06:42.42]We were just gonna bust on him for calling her too soon,but then he started texting her. [06:42.42]我們只是想抓到他不遵守規(guī)矩 沒想到他給她竟然發(fā)短信 [06:49.34]Texty text? [06:49.34]小短信? [06:51.43]Oh,Ted. [06:51.43]噢 Ted [06:52.75]Oh,poor,sweet Ted. We should... we should tell him it's us. [06:52.75]可憐的Ted呀 咱們--咱們得告訴他這是我們 [06:57.04]Yeah. Or... [06:57.04]好 又或者... [06:59.43]we pretend we're Holly,and we're in the bath. [06:59.43]我們裝作是Holly 現(xiàn)在躺在浴缸 [07:03.77]Yeah,that's better. [07:03.77]這主意更好 [07:11.21]Well,that was fun. [07:11.21]真好玩 [07:12.83]We should tell him that it's us. [07:12.83]我們還是告訴他真相吧 [07:14.13]Yeah,we should. Or... [07:14.13]應(yīng)該的 又或者... [07:17.05]we tell him our favorite color is red,and we think the cowboy look is very sexy. [07:17.05]我們跟他說紅色是咱們的最愛 還有牛仔裝扮非常性感 [07:22.89]Yeah,that's better. [07:22.89]不錯 [07:25.63]I'm wearing them right now,and they do look sexy. [07:25.63]穿著呢 沒錯 真的很性感 [07:31.11]- He put on the boots! - He totally put on the boots! [07:31.11]- 他穿上了那雙靴子! - 他真的穿上了那雙靴子! [07:35.33]- That was awesome! - Yeah. [07:35.33]- 帥呀! - 對呀 [07:36.98]But it's time to tell him who he really put those boots on for. [07:36.98]不過是時候告訴他是誰在玩他了 [07:40.71]Yeah. Or... [07:40.71]沒錯 又或者... [07:43.08]we just took off our shirt. [07:43.08]說美女正寬衣解帶 [07:46.01]Yeah,that's better. [07:46.01]不錯 [07:48.62]You think maybe we're wearing a black lace bra underneath? [07:48.62]你說咱們穿著黑色蕾絲胸罩打底好不? [07:54.03]I don't think we're wearing anything underneath. [07:54.03]我覺得咱們不應(yīng)該打底 [07:56.32]God,we're hot. [07:56.32]老天 咱們真辣 [08:00.50]Now he's only wearing the cowboy boots! It is on! [08:00.50]現(xiàn)在他只穿著那雙牛仔靴子了! 好戲上場了! [08:04.01]It is so on! Okay,okay,tell him that we're... [08:04.01]來吧來吧! 好 咱們這么說... [08:06.10]we're slowing slipping out of our... [08:06.10]咱們慢慢地褪下... [08:10.94]What are we doing? [08:10.94]咱們在干嘛呢? [08:14.82]I think that we're about to have sex with Ted. [08:14.82]我估計咱們要跟Ted電話做愛了 [08:22.90]So,you did this to him all day? That's just mean. [08:22.90]你們就這么一整天地耍他? 太過分了 [08:26.45]No,no. No,it was... It was actually for his own good. [08:26.45]不...這樣是為了他好 [08:30.07]We're protecting him from himself. [08:30.07]我們在保護(hù)他不被自己所傷害 [08:31.62]He... No. He really likes this girl. [08:31.62]他...他真的喜歡這女孩 [08:33.28]He had that-that look in his eye. [08:33.28]從他的眼神能看出來 [08:34.98]Yeah,that crazy "I'm about to move too fast and screw this up" look. [08:34.98]對 那種"我會進(jìn)展過快而搞砸"的眼神 [08:39.17]It was actually the same look he had on his first date with you. [08:39.17]這跟與你第一次約會的眼神是一樣的 [08:41.70]- And we all remember how that went. - Yeah. [08:41.70]- 大家都記得最后怎樣了吧 - 沒錯 [08:44.40]- I think I'm in love with you. - What? [08:44.40]- 我愛上你了 - 啥? [08:47.42]Yeah,well,I-I think I was a special case. [08:47.42]嗯 我-我覺得自己是個特別的例子 [08:50.38]This Holly is no Robin Scherbatsky. [08:50.38]這個Holly可不是Robin Scherbatsky [08:53.98]Hey,what is the deal with her hair? [08:53.98]嘿 她頭發(fā)是怎么回事? [08:55.37]I mean,news flash: they make conditioners that don't leave a buildup. [08:55.37]最新消息:就跟現(xiàn)在的空調(diào)一樣偷工減料 [09:00.22]I'm so b. [09:00.22]我太壞了 [09:01.86]Look,it's been a while since Ted really liked someone. [09:01.86]聽著 Ted很久沒這么喜歡過一個人了 [09:04.69]He's clearly got a lot of crazy stored up. We just... [09:04.69]他隱忍了很久 我們只是... [09:07.23]we thought we'd get him to say "I love you" before he even makes contact with this girl. [09:07.23]我們想讓他說"我愛你"之前 起碼能了解下這個女孩 [09:11.11]And you can tell it's on the way. He's exhibiting all the telltale signs. [09:11.11]你跟她繼續(xù)說 我拿證據(jù)出來 [09:14.29]Yeah. One: He joked about getting married. [09:14.29]第一:他拿結(jié)婚開玩笑 [09:17.33]"You like architecture? We should get married." "Ha-ha.LOL." [09:17.33]"你喜歡建筑師? 咱們結(jié)婚吧" "哈哈 LOL." (laugh out loud簡寫 大聲地笑) [09:22.20]"Just kidding. Question mark?" [09:22.20]"開玩笑的啦 問號" [09:25.04]Two: He made a crazy way-too-soon trip suggestion. [09:25.04]第二:他太單刀直入了 [09:29.05]"I like beer,too. We should totally go to Germany together." [09:29.05]"我也喜歡啤酒 咱們一起去德國吧" [09:32.64]"LOL.JK.LOL." [09:32.64]"LOL.JK.LOL." (just kidding簡寫 開玩笑) [09:37.01]And three: He got way too personal way too soon. [09:37.01]第三:他太快進(jìn)入私人話題 [09:40.90]"Yeah,my parents got divorced a couple years back. [09:40.90]"我父母幾年前離婚了 [09:44.02]It was really tough." LOL." [09:44.02]那時我很難過" "LOL." [09:48.24]And he clearly doesn't know what LOL means. [09:48.24]他肯定不知道LOL啥意思吧 [09:50.58]Yeah,but here's the real problem. [09:50.58]還有個更嚴(yán)重的問題 [09:51.93]Ted wasn't saying "I love you" as easily as we thought he would. [09:51.93]Ted沒我們想象中容易說"我愛你" [09:55.67]Then we met... Stan. [09:55.67]直到我們遇到...Stan [10:04.80]Why are you making so much noise,man? [10:04.80]吵吵啥呀? 伙計 [10:08.29]So we explained everything to him,and when we were done,something amazing happened. [10:08.29]我們就跟他解釋咯 解釋完后 有趣的事情發(fā)生了 [10:14.01]Why don't you tell Ted that just knowing he's out there,thinking about you, [10:14.01]不如你們跟Ted說 他能想著你們 [10:17.58]caring about you,makes you feel safe? [10:17.58]關(guān)心你們 讓你們有安全感很開心? [10:20.74]So,all your fears,all your yesterdays wash away, [10:20.74]你們的恐懼 往事統(tǒng)統(tǒng)趕走 [10:23.90]and only hope remains in the promise of his embrace. [10:23.90]希望就留在他承諾的懷抱中 [10:30.47]Go,Stan. Who is this guy? [10:30.47]Stan好家伙 他誰呀? [10:32.93]He's a security guard who works nights. [10:32.93]他是個夜班的保安 [10:34.35]And he eats lunch at MacLaren's every day. [10:34.35]他每天都在Maclaren's吃午飯 [10:36.14]- And he wasn't done. - Not by a long shot. [10:36.14]- 他還沒說完 - 喝了點小酒后 [10:39.05]You make me thank God for every mistake I ever made [10:39.05]你讓我為自己犯下的每個錯誤 都心懷感激 [10:41.81]because each one led me down the path that brought me to you. [10:41.81]因為它們把我?guī)У侥闵磉? [10:46.46]That's,uh,really nice,man. [10:46.46]你真好 兄弟 [10:49.10]Whatever. It's okay. [10:49.10]管他呢 挺好的 [10:52.37]"And when finally come together,"I want you to hold me. [10:52.37]"當(dāng)相遇那一天終于來臨 我想要你抱著我" [10:56.08]Hold me" "all night. Stroke my hair." [10:56.08]"整晚的抱著我 撫摸著我的秀發(fā)" [10:59.49]"Tell me I'm a woman and show me you're a man. [10:59.49]"讓我知道自己是個弱女子 而你是個真男人" [11:02.62]Until there there was only now." [11:02.62]"矢志不渝" [11:04.76]You and I... and now." [11:04.76]"你和我...盡在此刻" [11:09.17]Yes! [11:09.17]我愿意! [11:11.96]You want me to text that to Ted. I know that. [11:11.96]你想讓我把這些話發(fā)給Ted 我明白了 [11:17.52]"I do not ask "of the night explanations. [11:17.52]"我不需要你今晚做出決定 [11:20.15]I wait for it,and it envelops me," [11:20.15]我愿意等 而這感覺擁抱著我" [11:23.03]"and so you and bread and light and shadow are." [11:23.03]"而我也被你被面包和陽光以及陰影圍繞" [11:29.65]That's Pablo Neruda. [11:29.65]這是詩人Pablo Neruda寫的 [11:31.87]I don't know,um,what bread was doing in there, [11:31.87]我不知道干嘛會提到面包 [11:34.85]but that touched me here and here. [11:34.85]但這些話真的打動我的這里和這里 [11:40.50]Well,if Ted won't say it,I will. [11:40.50]好吧 如果Ted不愿說這番話 我替他會說的 [11:44.18]I love you. [11:44.18]我愛你 [11:47.86]That's cool. [11:47.86]很好 [11:51.39]Still nothing,huh? [11:51.39]還是沒回復(fù) 啊? [11:52.78]Maybe he's not in love with us. [11:52.78]可能他并不愛我們吧 [11:54.21]How can he not be in love with us? We're everything he's looking for. [11:54.21]他怎能不愛我們? 我們就是他苦苦尋找的一切 [11:56.94]I don't get men. [11:56.94]我真搞不懂男人 [12:00.11]Got to head to work. [12:00.11]我要回去工作了 [12:01.38]Will you be... Will you be back? [12:01.38]你還會...還會回來嗎? [12:04.00]I'll be back when the wind and fates and chance bring me back. [12:04.00]當(dāng)風(fēng)吹起 命運召喚我之時 我會回來的 [12:08.20]Which will be tomorrow. [12:08.20]可能是明天吧 [12:10.11]It's cheese steak day. [12:10.11]明天奶酪牛排搞特價 [12:14.50]It sounds like you were all over this guy. [12:14.50]聽著你們很迷這個大漢啊 [12:17.58]Hope his girlfriend didn't get jealous. [12:17.58]希望他的女朋友不會吃醋 [12:19.92]Did he mention a girlfriend or... [12:19.92]他有提到女朋友或者... [12:23.32]It was all going great until Marshall sent Ted a text meant for Lily and ruined everything. [12:23.32]一切進(jìn)展順利直到Marshall 把給Lily的短信誤發(fā)給了Ted 全毀了 [12:28.53]Well,it doesn't matter. Okay? It's over now. [12:28.53]沒關(guān)系 知道吧 一切都結(jié)束了 [12:31.05]I got to get going,but here's what's going to happen: [12:31.05]我要走了 但是你們得這么做: [12:33.18]You're going to call him right now,tell him what you did,and apologize. [12:33.18]你們趕緊打電話給他 坦白你們的惡作劇 向他道歉 [12:37.68]- You got it? - Yes. [12:37.68]- 你們聽清楚了嗎? - 明白了 [12:43.07]Or... [12:43.07]或者... [12:45.13]Holly explained everything. It was all just a misunderstanding. [12:45.13]Holly解釋說那完全是個誤會 [12:48.06]- Everything's great now. - Really? [12:48.06]- 現(xiàn)在沒事了 - 真的? [12:50.47]Uh,how did,uh,Holly explain her way out of that one? [12:50.47]那么Holly是怎么解釋那件事的? [12:53.43]Well,apparently,her dumb friend Marsha accidentally used her phone to text her husband Billy. [12:53.43]事實上是她的蠢朋友Marsha 不小心用了她的手機(jī)給老公Billy發(fā)短信 [12:58.77]Marsha and Billy. [12:58.77]Marsha和Billy [13:00.33]No one sprained any muscles there. [13:00.33]可真是天衣無縫啊 [13:03.29]And now we are better than ever. [13:03.29]我們倆感情反而更好了 [13:05.95]Look,I know this sounds crazy,but I think I might actually be falling for this girl. [13:05.95]看 雖然聽起來很不可思議 但我覺得自己是愛上這個女孩了 [13:11.37]- You're falling for Barney and Marshall. - What? [13:11.37]- 你是愛上了Barney和Marshall - 什么? [13:14.47]They didn't believe that you could wait the three days, [13:14.47]他們不相信你會等上3天 [13:17.24]so Barney changed her number in your phone to his work cell. [13:17.24]所以Barney把你手機(jī)里她的號碼 換成了自己的商務(wù)號碼 [13:20.71]Holly is Barney and Marshall. [13:20.71]Holly就是Barney和Marshall [13:22.78]Wait. That whole time it was them? [13:22.78]慢著 這全是他們搞的? [13:26.07]So Holly wasn't in the bath? [13:26.07]那么Holly沒有躺在浴缸里? [13:31.20]Or sitting by her window,looking up at the stars,thinking about me? [13:31.20]沒有坐在窗戶邊上 看著滿天繁星 在想我? [13:38.69]Or lounging in her old cheerleader uniform reading architecture magazines? [13:38.69]也沒有套上舊拉拉隊服在讀建筑雜志? [13:46.54]Yeah. I don't think they actually did those things. [13:46.54]對 我想他們都沒做這些事 [13:49.13]They were just at the bar. [13:49.13]他們只是待在酒吧里 [13:51.26]Right. [13:51.26]沒錯 [13:52.44]But,yeah,it was them. [13:52.44]沒錯 但就是他們搞的鬼 [13:55.11]- Unbelievab. - I know. [13:55.11]- 真不敢相信 - 我明白 [13:57.17]So you might as well tell them you're on to them. [13:57.17]你也可以跟他們說 你識破了他們的惡作劇 [13:59.15]Yeah. Or... [13:59.15]對 或者... [14:03.09]I text them something that will really mess with their heads. [14:03.09]我給他們發(fā)一些讓他們摸不著頭腦的東西 [14:05.79]Oh,I gotcha. Okay. How about... [14:05.79]哦 我明白了 比如說... [14:10.42]"I haven't told any of my friends yet,but I only have three months to live?" [14:10.42]"我沒跟自己的朋友提起過 其實我只剩3個月的命了?" [14:15.17]- Not bad. - Yeah. [14:15.17]- 不錯 - 對 [14:16.43]How about "I once killed a man with a shovel,and those feelings are creeping up again"? [14:16.43]比如說 "我曾經(jīng)拿鐵鏟殺了一個人 那種感覺似乎又回來了"? [14:22.48]I-I liked that thing someone said before about having three months to live. [14:22.48]我喜歡剛才有人提到的 只剩3月壽命的建議 [14:26.27]How about "I never told anyone this,but I slept with my best friend's mom"? [14:26.27]比如說"我從未跟別人說過 但我和好友的媽媽上過床"? [14:30.99]Oh,that is good,but I feel like we keep coming back to that three months to live thing. [14:30.99]不錯 但我更想接著回到只剩3個月可活的話題 [14:35.92]- Wait. I think I got it. - Oh,yeah? [14:35.92]- 等等 我知道了 - 哦 真的? [14:41.18]He texted back! [14:41.18]他回短信了! [14:43.45]"I probably shouldn't tell you this. [14:43.45]"我本不該跟你說的" [14:46.32]I mean we barely know each other." [14:46.32]"我是說我們根本不了解彼此" [14:49.32]But what the hell,I'll just say it. [14:49.32]"但是管他呢 我還是想說" [14:51.66]This is it,dude. Here comes the "I love you." [14:51.66]來了來了 伙計 要說"我愛你"了 [14:54.38]- I sh Stan were here. - Stan. [14:54.38]- 真希望Stan也在這兒 - Stan [15:00.41]What? [15:00.41]什么? [15:02.18]I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend. [15:02.18]我有時會做跟自己的好友玩同志的夢 [15:10.95]I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend. [15:10.95]我有時會做跟自己的好友玩同志的夢 [15:15.13]Why in the world would Ted text a girl he barely knows that he sometimes has gay dreams about me? [15:15.13]Ted到底為何會對一個陌生的女孩說 他有時會對我存有同性戀幻想? [15:21.91]Slow your roll. You? [15:21.91]慢著下結(jié)論 他指的是你? [15:24.55]He's clearly talking about me. [15:24.55]很明顯他是在說我 [15:26.42]Dude,it's me. I'm his best friend. [15:26.42]伙計 是我 我是他最好的哥們 [15:28.86]Okay,one: that has never been proven. [15:28.86]好吧 第一:這從未得到證實 [15:30.96]Two: If anyone were to have gay dreams about one of us,it would be me. [15:30.96]第二:如果有人會對我們其中一個 產(chǎn)生同性戀幻想 那也必然是對我 [15:35.64]I mean,look at me. Now look at you. [15:35.64]看看我 再看看你自己 [15:38.33]A still-in-the-closet 80-year-old wouldn't be into that mess. [15:38.33]即使是80歲的老古董也不會是 你這副德行 [15:43.14]Here's the thing,Barney. I'm snuggly. You're not. [15:43.14]關(guān)鍵在于 Barney 我讓人感覺溫暖 而你不是 [15:46.56]Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? [15:46.56]誰周日早上不想偎依在這結(jié)實的懷抱里? [15:50.33]Wrapped in a comforter,and it's raining outside,and there's muffins warming in the oven. [15:50.33]纏繞在胸膛里 就算窗外下著雨 烤爐里正熱著松餅 [15:54.69]I'm cuddly,bitch. Deal with it. [15:54.69]我就是如此居家 賤人 就是這樣 [15:57.48]I work out every day. [15:57.48]我每天都健身 [15:59.74]If there is one thing we know about Ted,it's that he likes a nice body. [15:59.74]我們最了解Ted的莫過于他喜歡好身材 [16:03.55]This body would rock his world. [16:03.55]這副身材會讓他瘋狂 [16:05.24]Ted and I have a history. I know what he likes. [16:05.24]我和Ted結(jié)交多年 我知道他的喜好 [16:07.99]There are things I could do to him that would blow his mind... [16:07.99]我能為他做的那些事 會讓他失去理智... [16:14.44]Why do we keep trying to have sex with Ted? [16:14.44]為啥我們要搶著去和Ted嘿咻? [16:16.24]I don't know. It's weird. [16:16.24]我也不知道 太奇怪了 [16:18.42]Crazy,right? [16:18.42]簡直瘋了 對吧? [16:20.06]Ted's having gay dreams about me. [16:20.06]Ted對我有同性戀幻想 [16:22.54]And by me,he means M-E,Marshall Eriksen, [16:22.54]他所說的"我" 指的是M-E Marshall Eriksen [16:26.66]star of Ted's gay dreams. [16:26.66]Ted同性戀春夢里的情人 [16:29.38]Who cares? So Ted has gay dreams about one of you guys. [16:29.38]管他呢 就是說Ted同性戀春夢夢到你們其中一個 [16:32.55]It's not like you found out he has three months to live. [16:32.55]而不是你們發(fā)現(xiàn)他只剩3個月的壽命 [16:36.21]That's like,oh,shocking,right? [16:36.21]這真是 太震驚了 對吧? [16:39.88]Hey,look at this guy. [16:39.88]嘿 瞧瞧這小子 [16:41.68]How's it going,uh,best friend of 12 years? [16:41.68]今天還好吧? 12年的好朋友 [16:45.31]Well,it's kind of weird,but,uh,I had this crazy dream the other night. [16:45.31]感覺很奇怪 但是我昨晚做了個瘋狂的夢 [16:50.98]It's a little embarrassing. [16:50.98]真令人尷尬 [16:52.24]You can tell us,Ted. This is a safe space. [16:52.24]你可以告訴我們 Ted 這里很安全 [16:54.93]ah,your feelings are perfectly natural,buddy. [16:54.93]你的感覺是很正常的 伙計 [16:57.73]Okay. Here's what happened. So I'm at... [16:57.73]好吧 事情是這樣的 那么我當(dāng)時在... [17:01.70]And then I proceeded to waste a half hour of those bastards' lives, [17:01.70]于是我浪費了這倆混蛋半小時的時間 [17:05.29]telling them about this dream I had [17:05.29]告訴他們我的夢 [17:06.73]where I ate dinner with my top five favorite architects throughout history. [17:06.73]夢里我跟最喜歡的5位建筑師一起吃飯 [17:10.56]And then,at the end of the meal,Frank Gehry slides the check over to I.M.Pei, [17:10.56]最后吃完飯 Frank Gehry把賬單推給I.M.Pei [17:14.93]and he says,Buddy,tonight,your name is I.M.Paying. [17:14.93]他說 伙計 今晚你就是"付賬先生"了 (與其名字諧音) [17:20.88]Buckminster Fuller almost did a spit take. [17:20.88]Buckminster Fuller差點噴飯了 [17:25.64]And then I woke up. [17:25.64]然后我就醒了 [17:28.79]So,that-that's it? [17:28.79]那么 就這樣? [17:30.95]No other dreams? [17:30.95]沒做別的夢? [17:32.87]- Nothing confusing or erotic? - Nope. [17:32.87]- 迷亂或者色情的夢呢? - 沒有 [17:38.40]Okay,how about this? [17:38.40]好吧 這么說吧 [17:39.98]Ted,you know how at some point in the future,machines will rise up against us? [17:39.98]Ted 你知道未來的某天 機(jī)器會統(tǒng)治人類? [17:43.03]- Sure. - Okay.So,the machines-- [17:43.03]- 當(dāng)然 - 好吧 那么機(jī)器-- [17:45.90]they've killed everybody, [17:45.90]它們摧毀了全人類 [17:47.32]and all that's left is you,me,and Barney. [17:47.32]只剩下你和我 還有Barney [17:54.69]Which one of us would you,like... [17:54.69]你會選哪一個 就像是... [17:59.16]get with? [17:59.16]一起生活? [18:02.43]And,um... [18:02.43]呣... [18:03.98]why do I have to get with one of you? [18:03.98]我為啥要跟你們其中一個生活? [18:06.72]The machines are forcing you. [18:06.72]那些機(jī)器強(qiáng)迫你 [18:08.10]They want to watch. That's just how they get down. [18:08.10]它們想要圍觀一下 它們就這個風(fēng)格 [18:11.27]Oh,that's a... that's a... That's a tough one. [18:11.27]哦 那真是... 真是...真是個難題 [18:14.06]I guess it would have to be... [18:14.06]我想如果非得選的話... [18:19.50]Holly. [18:19.50]選Holly [18:21.80]Robin told me what you guys did. [18:21.80]Robin告訴我短信是你們發(fā)的 [18:23.28]That's why I made up the gay dreams thing. [18:23.28]這就是為何我編造了同性戀春夢的事 [18:24.90]Uh,guys,this is Holly. [18:24.90]伙計們 這就是Holly [18:27.86]And I didn't wait your precious three days to call her. [18:27.86]我沒有按照你們說的 等上寶貴的三天再聯(lián)系她 [18:30.50]I knew where she worked,so I tracked her down. [18:30.50]我知道她工作的地方 便直接去找她 [18:32.86]Um,let me ask you. Did I call you too soon? [18:32.86]讓我來問問你 我給你打電話早了嗎? [18:35.04]I loved that he called me right away. [18:35.04]我喜歡他立馬給我電話 [18:37.59]I found it very romantic. [18:37.59]我覺得很浪漫 [18:39.71]And by the way,I don't sit around my apartment reading architecture magazines [18:39.71]順便一提 我不會坐在公寓里讀建筑雜志 [18:42.74]in my old cheerleader uniform. [18:42.74]還穿著我的舊拉拉隊服 [18:45.51]I do that completely naked. [18:45.51]我都是裸著的 [18:52.13]So,uh,Holly and I are going out to dinner. [18:52.13]那么 我和Holly要出去吃晚餐了 [18:54.58]- I'll meet you out front. - Okay. [18:54.58]- 我在門口等你 - 好的 [18:58.53]I'm sorr bud. We-We were just trying to help you. [18:58.53]抱歉伙計 我們只是想要幫你 [19:01.25]And,also,it was really fun. [19:01.25]而且 這很有趣 [19:06.21]I don't need your help,okay? I can take care of myself. [19:06.21]我不需要你們的幫助 好吧? 我自己能搞掂 [19:10.00]And,yeah,maybe... [19:10.00]沒錯 也許... [19:11.40]maybe there are some girls who wouldn't like it that I called them right away [19:11.40]也許有些女孩子 不喜歡我立刻給她們打電話 [19:14.29]or said things too soon,but guess what? [19:14.29]或者太早說愛她 但是知道嗎? [19:16.85]Those aren't the right girls for me. [19:16.85]她們不是適合我的女孩 [19:19.32]Maybe the right girl is the one who loves that I do those thin [19:19.32]也許適合我的女孩會喜歡我做的事 [19:22.58]because that's just who I am,and I'm not going to change because of some stupid Three Days Rule. [19:22.58]因為這才是我 我不會因為愚蠢的3日原則而改變自己 [19:30.48]Oh,and,um,Holly spells her name with an "I." [19:30.48]哦 還有Holly的名字其實是以"I"結(jié)尾的 [19:36.31]So I had proven that the Three Days Rule was wrong,and I was out to dinner with a pretty girl. [19:36.31]我證明了3日法則是錯誤的 并和一個美女去吃晚餐 [19:41.40]And until right now,I've never told anyone the truth about what happened on that date. [19:41.40]直到今日 我都沒有跟人提過那晚發(fā)生了什么 [19:45.65]That's so funny! I love indie music,too. [19:45.65]太有趣了! 我也喜歡印度音樂 [19:48.32]We should get married. [19:48.32]咱倆真該結(jié)婚 [19:50.81]Just kidding. Or am I? [19:50.81]開玩笑的 或者我確實這么想的? [19:54.61]Just kidding again. [19:54.61]還是開玩笑 [19:56.18]That's it. We're totally going to Brazil together! [19:56.18]沒錯 我們真該一起去巴西! [19:58.38]And I went to my doctor this morning,and he said it is all cleared up,so I'm good to go. [19:58.38]今早我去見了醫(yī)生 他說我都康復(fù)了 我可以走了 [20:03.03]I think I'm in love with you,Ted. [20:03.03]我想我愛上你了 Ted [20:04.96]In the end,I didn't need to wait three days,but Holly really,really did. [20:04.96]最后 我不需要等上3天 需要等的人是Holly [20:10.40]Like a lot of rules,there are times to follow them and times to not. [20:10.40]正如許多的規(guī)矩一樣 有時我們需要遵守 有時未必 [20:14.44]But I will tell you this. [20:14.44]但我要告訴你們 [20:16.38]When I got your mother's number,I called her right away. [20:16.38]當(dāng)我拿到你們老媽的號碼 我立馬打給了她 [20:23.55]- Stan! - Hey,fellas. [20:23.55]- Stan! - 嘿 伙計們 [20:25.95]- Stan,aren't you working? - Took the night off. [20:25.95]- Stan 你不用上班? - 今晚休息 [20:28.17]- That's great! We can all hang out! - Yeah. [20:28.17]- 太棒了! 咱們可以出去啦! - 沒錯 [20:29.89]Uh,I can't. Got a date. [20:29.89]不行 我有約了 [20:32.52]- You ready,baby? - Yup. [20:32.52]- 可以走了嗎 寶貝? - 走吧 [20:34.23]What the... [20:34.23]搞什么... [20:35.58]Wait,wait. Couldn't you guys just stay here and do your date with us? [20:35.58]等等 你們倆不能留下來 跟我們一起約會嗎? [20:39.40]Yeah,it'll be fun! Look,I'm laughing! [20:39.40]沒錯 這會很有趣的! 看 我都在笑了! [20:42.68]It's fun here! You like magic? [20:42.68]這兒很有趣! 你喜歡魔術(shù)嗎? [20:45.10]Fellas,it-it's time we said good-bye. [20:45.10]伙計們 我們該說再見了 [20:48.59]I mean,we shared a very special afternoon together,and that's something I will always cherish. [20:48.59]我們曾在一起度過一個愉快的下午 這是我不會忘記的趣事 [20:53.23]I'll never forget you guys. [20:53.23]我不會忘了你們的 [20:56.06]- Do you even know their mes? - No idea. Is the tall one Ted? [20:56.06]- 你知道他們的名字嗎? - 不知道 那高個是Ted嗎? [20:58.52]No. That's Marshall. He's married to Lily. [20:58.52]不 那是Marshall 他跟Lily結(jié)婚了 [21:00.65]- Okay. You like chicken wings? - Oh,yeah. [21:00.65]- 好吧 你喜歡吃雞翅嗎? - 喜歡

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