雙語讀?。篊all me by ...（一）03:這刺痛了我

Maybe it started soon after his arrival during one of those grinding lunches when he sat next to me and it finally dawned on me that, despite a light tan acquired during his brief stay in Sicily earlier that summer, the color on the palms of his hands was the same as the pale, soft skin of his soles, of his throat, of the bottom of his forearms, which hadn’t really been exposed to much sun. Almost a light pink, as glistening and smooth as the underside of a lizard’s belly. Private, chaste, unfledged, like a blush on an athlete’s face or an instance of dawn on a stormy night. It told me things about him I never knew to ask.
It may have started during those endless hours after lunch when everybody lounged about in bathing suits inside and outside the house, bodies sprawled everywhere, killing time before someone finally suggested we head down to the rocks for a swim. Relatives, cousins, neighbors, friends, friends of friends, colleagues, or just about anyone who cared to knock at our gate and ask if they could use our tennis court—everyone was welcome to lounge and swim and eat and, if they stayed long enough, use the guesthouse.
 
一切或許始于他抵達(dá)不久后某一次磨人的午餐。當(dāng)時(shí)他坐在我旁邊，我總算注意到盡管那年夏天他在西西里島逗留時(shí)曬得有點(diǎn)黑，但他掌心的顏色和他腳底、喉嚨、前臂內(nèi)側(cè)一般白皙柔軟，因?yàn)闆]有太多暴露在太陽(yáng)下，幾乎是淡粉色，像蜥蜴腹部一樣光亮平滑。私密、純潔、青澀，就像運(yùn)動(dòng)員臉上的紅暈，像暴風(fēng)雨夜的黎明曙光，透露了一些我完全不需要去問的事。
一切或許始于午餐后那些無止無盡的空閑時(shí)段，大伙兒都穿著泳衣，在屋子內(nèi)外閑晃或躺倒來消磨時(shí)間，直到終于有人提議到礁石那邊去游泳。不論是近親遠(yuǎn)鄰、朋友、朋友的朋友、同事，或隨便哪個(gè)愿意敲我們的門、詢問可否借用網(wǎng)球場(chǎng)的人，人人都被歡迎來這兒自由閑逛、游泳，與我們一同用餐；如果待得夠久，當(dāng)然還可以在客房留宿。
 
Or perhaps it started on the beach. Or at the tennis court. Or during our first walk together on his very first day when I was asked to show him the house and its surrounding area and, one thing leading to the other, managed to take him past the very old forged-iron metal gate as far back as the endless empty lot in the hinterland toward the abandoned train tracks that used to connect B. to N. “Is there an abandoned station house somewhere?” he asked, looking through the trees under the scalding sun, probably trying to ask the right question of the owner’s son. “No, there was never a station house. The train simply stopped when you asked.” He was curious about the train; the rails seemed so narrow. It was a two-wagon train bearing the royal insignia, I explained. Gypsies lived in it now. They’d been living there ever since my mother used to summer here as a girl. The gypsies had hauled the two derailed cars farther inland. Did he want to see them? “Later. Maybe.” Polite indifference, as if he’d spotted my misplaced zeal to play up to him and was summarily pushing me away.
But it stung me.
 
又或者一切始于海邊。或在網(wǎng)球場(chǎng)上?；蛘呔驮谒麆偟降牡谝惶?，我們第一次并肩同行，我遵照囑咐為他介紹房子，帶他參觀周邊。走著走著，我總算帶他深入到偏僻區(qū)域那塊仿佛無邊無際的荒地，通過那道古老的鍛鐵金屬門，往曾經(jīng)連接 B 城與 N 城、如今棄置已久的那段鐵軌走去。“附近有廢棄火車站嗎？”他抬眼望向烈陽(yáng)下樹林深處的另一頭，或許是想對(duì)屋主的兒子提出恰到好處的問題。“沒有，附近從來就沒有火車站?；疖囍皇请S叫隨停。”他對(duì)火車很好奇，因?yàn)殍F軌看起來那么窄。是有皇家標(biāo)志的無頂貨車，我解釋道?，F(xiàn)在是吉普賽人住在里面。從我母親少女時(shí)期到這兒來避暑時(shí)，他們就住在那里，還把兩截脫軌的貨車拖到更遠(yuǎn)的內(nèi)陸去了。我問他想看嗎？“回頭再說。或許吧。”有禮的冷淡，仿佛他識(shí)破了我以不合時(shí)宜的熱情去討好他，還立刻一把推開我。
這刺痛了我。