雙語讀劇：Call me by ...（一）06:我喜歡我們的心似乎平行前進

At dinner on his third evening, I sensed that he was staring at me as I was explaining Haydn’s Seven Last Words of Christ, which I’d been transcribing. I was seventeen that year and, being the youngest at the table and the least likely to be listened to, I had developed the habit of smuggling as much information into the fewest possible words. I spoke fast, which gave people the impression that I was always flustered and muffling my words. After I had finished explaining my transcription, I became aware of the keenest glance coming from my left. It thrilled and flattered me; he was obviously interested—he liked me. It hadn’t been as difficult as all that, then. But when, after taking my time, I finally turned to face him and take in his glance, I met a cold and icy glare—something at once hostile and vitrified that bordered on cruelty.
 
他來后第三天的晚餐上，我向客人解釋我正在改編的海頓《耶穌臨終七言》時，感覺到他正盯著我看。那年我十七歲。由于我是桌上最年輕、講話可能最沒分量的，因此我養(yǎng)成了盡可能以最精簡的語句傳達最多訊息的習慣。我講得很快，給人一種我說話總是慌慌張張、含糊不清的印象。解釋過我正在改編的東西之后，我意識到最熱烈的目光從我左邊投射過來，使我有刺激和飄飄然的感覺；他顯然感興趣——他喜歡我。當時，事情并沒有那么困難。當我好整以暇，總算轉(zhuǎn)身面對他，與他四目相接時，卻遭遇冷冰冰的怒目相向。那是玻璃般帶著敵意且近乎殘忍的東西。
 
It undid me completely. What had I done to deserve this? I wanted him to be kind to me again, to laugh with me as he had done just a few days earlier on the abandoned train tracks, or when I’d explained to him that same afternoon that B. was the only town in Italy where the corriera, the regional bus line, carrying Christ, whisked by without ever stopping. He had immediately laughed and recognized the veiled allusion to Carlo Levi’s book. I liked how our minds seemed to travel in parallel, how we instantly inferred what words the other was toying with but at the last moment held back.
He was going to be a difficult neighbor. Better stay away from him, I thought. To think that I had almost fallen for the skin of his hands, his chest, his feet that had never touched a rough surface in their existence—and his eyes, which, when their other, kinder gaze fell on you, came like the miracle of the Resurrection. You could never stare long enough but needed to keep staring to find out why you couldn’t.
 
這令我不安到極點。我何苦受這種罪？我希望他再對我好，再跟我一起笑，就像幾天前在廢棄鐵軌那兒一樣，同樣那個下午，我向他解釋 B 城是意大利唯一能讓區(qū)間公交載著基督一路急馳而去的城市。他立刻笑了出來，聽出我在影射卡羅·列維3的書。我喜歡我們的心似乎平行前進，我們總能立刻猜出對方在玩什么文字游戲，卻保留到最后一刻。
他會是個難纏的鄰居，我想最好離他遠一點。一想到我?guī)缀鯋凵纤氖?、他的胸膛、他生來從未接觸粗糙表面的腳，他這些部位的肌膚……還有他的眼睛。當他另一種比較和善的凝視落在你身上，感覺就像耶穌復活的奇跡，看再久也不厭倦，反而得一直盯著看，好知道為什么總看不膩。