I always tried to keep him within my field of vision. I never let him drift away from me except when he wasn’t with me. And when he wasn’t with me, I didn’t much care what he did so long as he remained the exact same person with others as he was with me. Don’t let him be someone else when he’s away. Don’t let him be someone I’ve never seen before. Don’t let him have a life other than the life I know he has with us, with me.
 
我總是盡力把他留在我的視線范圍內(nèi)。除非他不跟我在一起，我從來不讓他漫無目的離開。他不跟我在一起的時候，我倒是不太在意他做什么，只要他還是跟我在一起時的那個人就好。他離開時，別讓他變成另一個人。別讓他變成我從來沒見過的人。除了他跟我們、跟我在一起時，我所知道的那個人生之外，別讓他再有另外的人生。
 
Don’t let me lose him.
 
別讓我失去他。
 
I knew I had no hold on him, nothing to offer, nothing to lure him by.
I was nothing.
Just a kid.
 
我知道我抓不住他，沒什么能奉獻的，沒什么吸引他的。
我什么都不是。
只是個孩子。
 
He simply doled out his attention when the occasion suited him. When he came to my assistance to help me understand a fragment by Heraclitus, because I was determined to read “his” author, the words that sprang to me were not “gentleness” or “generosity” but “patience” and “forbearance,” which ranked higher. Moments later, when he asked if I liked a book I was reading, his question was prompted less by curiosity than by an opportunity for casual chitchat. Everything was casual.
 
他只在自己方便的時候施舍一點注意力給我。有一天我決定讀讀“他的作者”赫拉克利特寫些什么，他幫我理解其中一段文字時的態(tài)度令我想到的不是“和善”、“寬厚”這類字眼，而是更高等級的“耐心”與“容忍”。過了一會兒，他問我喜不喜歡我正在讀的書。這問題與其說出于好奇，不如說是為了找機會隨意閑聊。一切都是漫不經(jīng)心。
 
He was okay with casual.
How come you’re not at the beach with the others?
Go back to your plunking.
Later!
Yours!
Just making conversation.
Casual chitchat.
Nothing.
 
他覺得漫不經(jīng)心無所謂。
——你怎么沒跟其他人去海邊？
——回去彈你的吉他吧。
——回頭再說！
——給你的！
只是找話說而已。
只是隨便聊聊。
沒什么。

《請以你的名字呼喚我》