雙語(yǔ)讀劇：Call me by ...（一）40:我為什么沒能看見？

Did he ignore me the way I ignored him that morning: on purpose, to draw me out, to protect himself, to show I was nothing to him? Or was he oblivious, the way sometimes the most perceptive individuals fail to pick up the most obvious cues because they’re simply not paying attention, not tempted, not interested?
When he and Chiara danced I saw her slip her thigh between his legs. And I’d seen them mock-wrestle on the sand. When had it started? And how was it that I hadn’t been there when it started? And why wasn’t I told? Why wasn’t I able to reconstruct the moment when they progressed from x to y? Surely the signs were all around me. Why didn’t I see them?
 
那天早上，他像我不理他那樣，故意對(duì)我視而不見，這是為了我吐露真情，保護(hù)他自己，表示我對(duì)他無(wú)足輕重？或者他沒注意到？就算是最敏銳的人偶爾也會(huì)錯(cuò)過最明顯的暗示，只因?yàn)樗麄儾蛔⒁?、沒被吸引或不感興趣。
他和奇亞拉跳舞時(shí)，我看見奇亞拉把大腿悄悄滑進(jìn)他兩腿之間。我也看到他們?cè)谏碁┥贤嫠佑螒颉Ｊ裁磿r(shí)候開始的？開始的時(shí)候，我怎么不在？為什么沒人告訴我？為什么我無(wú)法重塑他們從?X?發(fā)展到?Y?的時(shí)刻？當(dāng)然我四周全是征兆。我為什么沒能看見？
 
I began thinking of nothing but what they might do together. I would have done anything to ruin every opportunity they had to be alone. I would have slandered one to the other, then used the reaction of one to report it back to the other. But I also wanted to see them do it, I wanted to be in on it, have them owe me and make me their necessary accomplice, their go-between, the pawn that has become so vital to king and queen that it is now master of the board.
 
我滿腦子想著他們?cè)谝黄鹱鲂┦裁词?。我愿意竭盡所能破壞他們獨(dú)處的每個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)。我可能會(huì)對(duì)其中一人詆毀另一個(gè)，然后將這個(gè)人的反應(yīng)報(bào)告給另一個(gè)。但我也想看他們親熱，我想?yún)⑴c，讓他們虧欠我，把我當(dāng)做他們不可或缺的同伙，他們的掮客；就像一個(gè)對(duì)國(guó)王皇后來(lái)說，如此至關(guān)重要，以至于反客為主的爪牙。
 
I began to say nice things about each, pretending I had no inkling where things stood between them. He thought I was being coy. She said she could take care of herself.
“Are you trying to fix us up?” she asked, derision crackling in her voice.
“What’s it to you anyway?” he asked.
 
我開始說兩人的好話，假裝對(duì)他們之間的事毫不知情。奧利弗以為我忸怩作態(tài)，奇亞拉說她自己的事情她自己處理。
“你想替我們牽線？”奇亞拉的聲音里爆出嘲弄。
“這跟你到底有什么關(guān)系？”奧利弗問。