雙語讀電影《怪獸大學(xué)》第16章 :我們只有一個(gè)大腦——我的大腦

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2018年08月02日

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Chapter 16

The next day, Mike gathered the team out on the campus quad. Sulley leaned against a tree and watched as Mike had them line up military-style. “Okay, listen up, Oozmas!” Mike said. “We’re going to have to start winning these things together, so that means I need each of you to pull your own weight.”
“We’ve made a list of our strengths and weaknesses,” Squishy said, smiling.
Don stepped forward. “In high school I was the master of the ‘silent scare.’ Why, I could sneak up on a field mouse in a pillow factory,” he said as he got down on his hands and knees and began to creep across the sidewalk. But his suction cups made a loud pop-pop-pop sound. “Uh, sorry,” Don said. “They get stickier when I’m sweaty.”
Then Terri and Terry stepped up. One hand pulled out a deck of playing cards. “We’re experts in the ancient craft of close-up magic,” Terry said with an air of mystery as he waved the cards in front of them.
“It’s all about misdirection,” Terri explained. But just then, all the cards accidentally tumbled out of his sleeve and fell to the ground. Terry looked at his brother and gave an exasperated sigh.
“I have an extra toe,” Art said. He laughed quietly and added, “Not with me, of course.”
Mike could see that the boys needed some direction. “Guys, one slipup. in the next event and we’re goners. So for this to work, I need you to take every instinct you have and bury it deep, deep down.”
“Done,” Art said.
Mike nodded. “From now on, we are of one mind. My mind.”
“Oh, please,” Sulley said, rolling his eyes.
“I will tell you exactly what to do and how to do it,” Mike continued.
Sulley made a face, but the Oozmas were completely on board. “Okay, Mike,” they said. “That sure seems best.”
Mike smiled at them and said, “Good. Give me fifty sneaks, right now, in place, let’s go!”
As the Oozmas began to exercise, moving their oddly misshapen bodies, Sulley walked over to Mike and said, “You’re wasting your time. We need a new team.”
“We can’t just get a new team,” Mike replied. “I checked this morning, and it’s against the rules.”
“What if we disguise the new team to look like the old team?” Sulley asked hopefully.
“Oh, no. We are not cheating!” Mike said.
“It’s not cheating,” Sulley said, shaking his head. “I’m just, you know, leveling the playing field.” Mike stared at him, and Sulley sighed. “Okay, so it’s kind of cheating! But what do you want me to do? They’re not exactly the scariest group in the world.”
They both turned and looked at the Oozmas. Squishy was prancing around with a ladybug on his hand. “Oh, make a wish, everybody! Make a wish!”
Sulley gave Mike an annoyed look and walked off. “Where are you going?” Mike called after him. “We’re training!”
“I’m a Sullivan!” Sulley called back. “You tell them what to do, but not me. Later, Coach.”
Squishy suddenly sprung up behind Mike, who jumped into the air in surprise.
“AH!” he screamed. “Boy, we need to get you a bell!” Then he turned to the group. “Okay, Oozmas. Pop quiz: What’s more dangerous than a human child?”
Art raised his hand and said, “Two human childs?”
Mike sighed. “No! A human adult! The next event is all about avoiding capture. So remember, do exactly what I do.” Mike raised a foot and walked heel to toe, super-slow. The rest of the team nodded eagerly.

第 16 章

第二天，麥克把隊(duì)員集結(jié)到四方坪上。毛怪倚著樹，看著麥克把剩下的隊(duì)員像軍人一樣排成一行。“好啦！聽著，兄弟們！”麥克喊道，“我們只有齊心協(xié)力才能贏得比賽，也就是說，我們所有人都要全力以赴。”
史乖寶微笑著說：“我們列了張單子，上面有我們的優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)。”
老唐往前邁了一步：“高中時(shí)代，我就是‘無聲嚇人’之王。在枕頭廠工作的時(shí)候，我還能偷襲田鼠，”他邊說邊趴在地上，在路邊爬了起來，可他的吸盤總是發(fā)出“啪啪啪”的聲音。“哦，抱歉，我的觸手越出汗就越黏。”
接著，泰瑞和泰銳走上前來，拿出一副撲克牌。泰銳一邊揮動(dòng)著眼前的牌一邊神秘地說：“我們擅長的是古老的近景魔術(shù)。”
“重點(diǎn)在于聲東擊西。”泰瑞解釋道?？删驮谶@時(shí)，所有的撲克牌卻不小心從他的袖子里掉了出來，散落到地上。泰銳看著他兄弟，惱火地嘆了口氣。
“我多長了個(gè)腳趾！”阿拱輕聲笑著補(bǔ)充道，“不過也沒什么用。”
麥克發(fā)現(xiàn)，這些隊(duì)員需要點(diǎn)方向性的指導(dǎo)，就說：“兄弟們，下場比賽要是出一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)問題，我們就沒戲了，所以，我要你們把你們的本能深深地、深深地埋起來。”
“明白！”阿拱回答。
麥克點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，說道：“從現(xiàn)在起，我們只有一個(gè)大腦——我的大腦。”
毛怪翻了翻白眼：“哦，拉倒吧！”
麥克接著說道：“我會(huì)確切告訴你們要做什么，怎么做。”
毛怪做了個(gè)鬼臉，但OK會(huì)的其他成員卻很支持麥克，說道：“沒問題，麥克！這是最好的方法了。”
麥克滿意地笑了，他說：“很好?，F(xiàn)在做五十個(gè)偷襲動(dòng)作，各就各位，開始！”
OK會(huì)隊(duì)員開始練習(xí)，各自扭動(dòng)著他們那奇形怪狀的肢體。這時(shí)，毛怪走到麥克身邊說道：“你這是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，我們得重新組個(gè)隊(duì)。”
麥克回答說：“我們不能重新組隊(duì)，我早上查過了，這是犯規(guī)的。”
“我們要是把新隊(duì)員裝成老隊(duì)員呢？”毛怪還抱有一絲僥幸。
麥克說：“不，不行，我們不能作弊！”
毛怪搖著頭說：“這不是作弊，我只是……你懂的，讓競爭公平點(diǎn)。”看到麥克瞪著自己，他又嘆了口氣說：“好吧，這是作弊！可你想讓我怎么辦？他們根本就不是最嚇人的隊(duì)伍啊。”
他們倆回過頭看著OK會(huì)的這群成員。史乖寶手上正托著一只瓢蟲雀躍著：“大家許個(gè)愿吧，快許個(gè)愿！”
毛怪生氣地看了麥克一眼就走開了。“你要去哪兒？我們還在訓(xùn)練呢。”麥克在后面喊道。
“我是蘇利文家族的人！”毛怪回答，“你要指手畫腳就對(duì)著他們說，別對(duì)著我。再見，大教練！”
史乖寶突然出現(xiàn)在麥克身后，嚇了他一大跳。
“??！”麥克叫了起來，“天哪，看來我得給你綁個(gè)鈴鐺！”接著，他轉(zhuǎn)向其他成員，“兄弟們！注意啦！突擊考查！有什么比一個(gè)人類小孩更危險(xiǎn)？”
阿拱舉起手回答道：“兩個(gè)人類小孩？”
麥克嘆了口氣：“不是！是一個(gè)人類成年人！下一場比賽是躲避抓捕。記住，我做什么，你們就照做。”麥克抬起一只腳，然后由腳跟到腳尖，又輕又慢地落下去。其他隊(duì)員紛紛點(diǎn)頭如搗蒜。

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雙語讀電影《怪獸大學(xué)》第15章 :別這么吃驚，華斯基先生

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