作為老師或家長你如何看待孩子的失敗

今天的這段對話，在討論失敗，
 
失敗是很常見的事情，作為老師或家長你如何看待孩子的失敗
 
來聽今天的講解:
 
A: Talking about kids and school, what do you think about failure? Like it seems like we're moving to where we're not allowed to tell kids that they're not doing well, that everybody has to be a winner. You know, everybody gets a good grade. What do you think about that especially as a teacher and a parent?
 
就孩子和學(xué)校來說，你怎么看待失敗？我們不能告訴孩子他們做得不好，或是每個人都一定要成功。或是所有人都要拿好成績之類的。作為老師和家長來說，你怎么看？
 
B: As a teacher, I think, I read something recently that the chastising a student, telling them they did bad, has no motivational value whatsoever but praise does. So definitely I think it's important to always praise. If you have a really bad student and you can't find anything to praise them on then I don't know what the answer is really. But I'm sure you can always find something to praise someone on.
 
作為老師來說，我最近看了一些文章，里面說處罰學(xué)生或是告訴學(xué)生他們做得不好并不會起到激勵作用，而表揚可以鼓勵學(xué)生。所以我認(rèn)為表揚非常重要。如果你的班級里有一個壞學(xué)生，你在他身上找不到可以表揚的地方，那我也不知道應(yīng)該怎么辦了?？墒俏掖_定一個學(xué)生是會有值得表揚的地方的。
 
A: Yeah.
 
好。
 
B: So I think it's important to focus on the positives all the time.
 
我認(rèn)為一直關(guān)注積極的方面很重要。
 
A: See actually I kind of disagree.
 
其實我不太同意你的觀點。
 
B: Do you?
 
是嗎？
 
A: Yeah. I think that, you know, that your score is or your progress is absolute. Like either you pass or you fail, either you get high marks or low marks but that's the motivation. Like if you get, if you don't do well, then you want to try harder. You know, like if you're a fat kid and you don't want to be fat then you, you know, you're motivated to lose weight or if you aren't a star in the baseball team you need to practice harder so you move up. But if you tell kids that they're doing great when actually they're not exceptional then maybe that actually does harm.
 
對。我認(rèn)為成績或者是進步是絕對的。不是合格就是不合格，不是高分就是低分，但我認(rèn)為這就是動力。如果你成績不好，那你就會想再努力一些。就好像如果你是個胖孩子，你不想再胖下去，你就會有動力去減肥，或是如果你不是棒球隊里的明星球員，那你就需要在練習(xí)時更加努力，這樣你才能進步。但是如果你告訴并不優(yōu)秀的學(xué)生他們做得很好，這可能會造成傷害。
 
B: OK, well maybe I misexplained that. I don't mean give a false, I don't mean say they're doing well when they're not doing well but what I mean is focus more on the successes than the failures.
 
好，也許我沒有解釋清楚。我的意思不是給出錯誤的認(rèn)可，我不是說在學(xué)生做得不好時還要夸他們做得好，我的意思是要更多地關(guān)注成功而不是失敗。
 
A: Oh, I see. Like confidence building?
 
哦，我明白了。建立信心，對吧？
 
B: Yeah, I guess that's what I mean more. But I guess we're talking about motivation rather than an end result like, of course, yeah, you're going to fail some things. I don't know. I never failed that many things at school and later on in life when I did encounter failure, I took it pretty bad so perhaps it would have been healthier for me to have failed a few things. I don't know.
 
對，對，那才是我的意思。我認(rèn)為我們現(xiàn)在在說的是動力而不是結(jié)果，當(dāng)然人肯定會遇到失敗。要怎么說……如果我在學(xué)校和生活中從來沒有經(jīng)歷過失敗，那當(dāng)我日后失敗時我可能會無法接受，所以經(jīng)歷過失敗對我來說可能更有好處。不知道我說明白沒有。
 
A: Well that's the question, isn't it? Like when you fail or you do bad I think that maybe that's the eye-opening moment you need to see. Like you need to see the truth rather than just tell somebody that they're doing well when actually maybe they're not or that they're exceptional and talented when maybe they're not.
 
這是個問題，不是嗎？如果你失敗了或是表現(xiàn)不好，我想要用開放的觀點去看。要看到事實，而不是在學(xué)生做得不好或者沒有那種天賦時還要告訴他們做得很好。
 
B: When they're not, that's true. Yeah, there was another thing that I read as well about telling, praising children for their intellgence, you should never, you should never tell a child they're smart because they get a false image of what intelligence is. You should always praise effort.
 
沒錯。我還看了一篇有關(guān)表揚孩子智商的文章，那篇文章的觀點是永遠不要告訴孩子他們很聰明，因為那會讓他們對智商產(chǎn)生假象。你應(yīng)該要表揚他們的努力。
 
A: Ah, right.
 
說得對。
 
B: As opposed to some sort of innate, what we believe to be an innate quality that you can never have if you don't have it. So telling a child yeah you're really smart, when the child faces a problem that requires them to apply themselves and maybe fail they're afraid.
 
而不是強調(diào)那種天生的品質(zhì)，我們認(rèn)為天生的品質(zhì)是，如果你不擁有那種品質(zhì)，那你就永遠不會擁有。如果你告訴孩子你非常聰明，在孩子面臨需要他們自己去解決的問題時，他們可能會害怕失敗。
 
A: Mmm.
 
嗯。
 
B: Because then they may think no I'm not intelligent after all. So it should always be about praising effort and actually the result is not so important.
 
因為他們可能會想，也許我并不聰明。所以應(yīng)該表揚孩子們的努力，而結(jié)果并不是那么重要。