絕望的主婦第一季第七集

[00:00.20]Previously on "desperate housewives"... [00:01.10] [00:03.20]Someone sent that note to my wife, and I need to know who. [00:05.80] [00:05.80]Some secrets were discovered... [00:07.70] [00:07.70]After my mom died, I started remembering what happened to Dana. [00:10.80] [00:10.80]Who's Dana? [00:11.70] [00:11.70]What are you doing here? [00:12.50] [00:12.50]Some secrets were uncovered... [00:14.60] [00:14.60]It could be any one of these guys she's having an affair with. [00:16.40] [00:16.40]Don't worry about it. I'm not letting her out of my sight. [00:19.40] [00:19.40]And some secrets... [00:20.60] [00:20.60]Jordana Geist manages to get her work done. [00:23.40] [00:23.40]How do you cram it all in? [00:24.60] [00:24.60]Were shared. [00:25.30] [00:25.30]That's A.D.D. medication. [00:27.40] [00:35.70]Competition -- [00:37.10] [00:37.10]it means different things to different people. [00:39.70] [00:39.70]In suburbia, it means keeping up with the Joneses. [00:43.80] [00:43.80]On Wisteria Lane, [00:44.80] [00:44.80]that means keeping up with Bree Van De Kamp. [00:49.00] [00:49.30]Everyone knew Bree had the nicest lawn in the neighborhood, [00:53.20] [00:53.20]and no one be grudged her this. [00:55.20] [00:55.20]No one, that is, [00:57.00] [00:57.00]except Martha Huber, [01:00.10] [01:00.10]whose own lawn paled in comparison. [01:04.10] [01:04.80]No matter how carefully she trimmed... [01:08.00] [01:08.00]or how lovingly she watered... [01:10.90] [01:11.90]or how generously she fertilized... [01:15.90] [01:16.30]the grass was always greener on the other side of the fence. [01:21.90] [01:25.80]Hello, Victor. How are you today? [01:28.30] [01:28.70]Out jogging again? [01:30.40] [01:30.40]I can't catch my breath. [01:32.20] [01:32.20]Would you like a slurp from my hose? [01:35.00] [01:41.30]Victor? [01:42.80] [01:43.50]Victor? [01:44.90] [01:46.40]Don't worry. [01:47.50] [01:47.50]I'm going to get an ambulance. [01:49.70] [01:51.50]Then one day Mrs. Huber finally got the chance to mow down the competition. [01:58.50] [02:12.40]Help! [02:13.40] [02:13.40]Somebody help! [02:15.40] [02:19.20]What happened? [02:20.20] [02:20.20]He collapsed on your hydrangeas. [02:22.50] [02:22.50]Call 911! [02:24.10] [02:39.70]Yes, Mrs. Huber understood the first rule of competition -- [02:45.00] [02:45.00]in order to win, you have to want it more. [02:49.30] [03:26.30]<font color=F62B97>Episode 7 : Anything You Can Do [03:30.50] [03:32.00]When I was alive, [03:33.00] [03:33.00]my friends and I came together once a month for a meeting of the Wisteria Lane book club. [03:38.90] [03:39.10]We found the problems of literary characters so absorbing -- [03:43.20] [03:44.00]the way they dealt with adversity, [03:46.00] [03:47.10]conducted illicit affairs, [03:49.50] [03:50.80]endured domestic dramas, [03:53.60] [03:54.40]and planned romantic conquests. [03:57.40] [03:57.40]But since my death, my friends had lost their interest in fiction. [04:02.40] [04:04.40]So... what did everybody think? [04:06.70] [04:06.70]Their own problems had become absorbing enough. [04:09.70] [04:09.70]I thought the character of Madame Bovary was very inspirational. [04:14.30] [04:14.70]Inspirational? [04:16.50] [04:17.20]She poisons herself with arsenic. [04:19.50] [04:19.50]Really? [04:20.40] [04:20.40]You didn't read until the end? [04:22.50] [04:22.50]I stopped after page 50. [04:24.80] [04:25.30]Am I the only one who read the book? [04:26.90] [04:26.90]I saw the movie. It was really good. [04:29.70] [04:29.70]Ladies, I'm sorry, but [04:31.70] [04:31.70]what is the point of having a book club if we don't read the book? [04:35.60] [04:35.60]More wine? [04:37.30] [04:38.70]So, uh, Reba, Emma, and Laurie, [04:41.30] [04:41.30]would you girls come to the kitchen and help me with the snacks? [04:44.60] [04:44.60]Sure. [04:46.10] [04:47.20]I will be right in. [04:49.60] [04:51.40]God, I couldn't wait to get rid of them. [04:53.20] [04:53.20]Okay, [04:54.70] [04:54.70]so Lynette said that you found Zach. [04:56.90] [04:56.90]He's at a rehabilitation center, [04:58.70] [04:58.70]and Julie snuck in and actually talked to him. [05:01.30] [05:01.30]Did he say anything about his mother's suicide? [05:03.30] [05:03.30]There wasn't enough time, but he did say one thing that was kind of mysterious. [05:06.40] [05:06.40]He said something happened to someone named Dana, [05:09.20] [05:09.20]and that he could never, ever talk about it. [05:11.30] [05:11.30]Who the hell's Dana? [05:12.30] [05:12.30]That's the mystery part. [05:13.50] [05:13.50]I figure Dana has something to do with what Mary Alice was trying to hide. [05:17.50] [05:17.50]So somebody found out Mary Alice's secret... [05:20.20] [05:20.20]and sent the note. [05:21.80] [05:21.80]So who the hell is that? [05:24.00] [05:26.70]The stationery is parchment number 17, 100% cotton. [05:30.20] [05:30.20]It's made by Cypress Office Products. [05:33.30] [05:33.30]They have stores in 12 cities, including yours. [05:36.10] [05:36.10]Now, I traced that postmark back to your local post office. [05:39.10] [05:39.10]Meaning? [05:40.90] [05:41.60]Meaning that the blackmailer is probably someone you know -- [05:44.20] [05:44.20]a neighbor, milkman... [05:47.00] [05:47.00]pool boy, soccer mom. [05:49.60] [05:49.60]Soccer mom? [05:51.20] [05:51.80]Mr. Young, sometimes evil drives a minivan. [05:55.40] [05:56.70]I had this gig once [05:58.30] [05:58.30]tracking down this PTA mom who was hell-bent on landing her daughter [06:01.90] [06:01.90]a spot on the parade float. [06:04.60] [06:05.00]Fed antifreeze to half the homecoming committee. [06:08.00] [06:11.10]Did you catch her? [06:12.40] [06:13.10]Mr. Young... [06:15.20] [06:16.30]the people who hired me didn't hire me to catch her. [06:19.50] [06:26.00]Wow, honey, -- [06:27.70] [06:27.70]this place looks spotless. [06:29.20] [06:29.20]Thanks. [06:30.50] [06:30.90]Hey, so, listen, [06:32.20] [06:32.20]I have come up with this killer idea for the Spotless Scrub campaign. [06:36.20] [06:36.20]Great. You want to run it by me? [06:38.30] [06:38.70]No, I'm good. [06:40.40] [06:40.40]But thanks. [06:41.50] [06:41.50]Okay. [06:43.10] [06:43.50]Well, that's the thing. You know how whenever I pitch in the boardroom at work, [06:45.60] [06:45.60]and Hennessy always tears my ideas down in front of the partners? [06:48.50] [06:48.50]Yeah. [06:49.20] [06:49.20]I invited the partners and their wives over so I could pitchto them here, [06:53.50] [06:53.50]and I thought maybe we could make a formal dinner for six, we could sit, we could -- [06:56.10] [06:56.10]and when exactly would this formal dinner take place? [06:58.90] [06:58.90]Uh, day after tomorrow. [07:00.50] [07:00.50]- Tom. - Yeah, I know, I know, [07:01.90] [07:01.90]I know it's short notice. I just -- [07:03.50] [07:03.50]You think? How am I supposed to pull off a formal dinner with no warning? [07:06.90] [07:06.90]I don't know. Bree Van De Kamp does this kind of thing all the time. [07:10.20] [07:11.90]What did you say? [07:13.30] [07:13.30]Wow, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. [07:14.90] [07:14.90]That's -- you know what? Forget it. I'll call, and I'll cancel. [07:17.70] [07:17.70]Just don't worry about it. [07:18.60] [07:18.60]No, no, let's --let's do it. [07:21.20] [07:22.90]Really? [07:24.20] [07:26.00]Yeah. It's good for your career. I'll pull it off. [07:29.50] [07:29.50]Yes. Honey, thank you so much. [07:32.60] [07:32.60]You know what? I promise, I land this account, [07:34.60] [07:34.60]and I'm going to buy you something awful pretty. [07:37.50] [07:39.90]Luckily for Tom, Lynette had a recipe for success. [07:44.90] [07:51.90]Unfortunately for her, [07:53.90] [07:53.90]she was missing the secret ingredient. [07:57.30] [08:10.60]- Yeah. - It's me. [08:12.40] [08:12.40]Don't turn around. My mother-in-law can see you. [08:15.30] [08:15.30]I hate that she's always watching us. [08:16.70] [08:16.70]So meet me at the motel in an hour? [08:19.70] [08:20.40]John? [08:21.60] [08:21.60]Uh, I've got plans. [08:24.30] [08:24.30]So cancel. [08:25.90] [08:25.90]They're with Danielle. We're going to the movies. [08:28.70] [08:29.10]That sounds like a date. [08:30.90] [08:30.90]Yeah. [08:32.60] [08:32.60]Well, I have a problem with you seeing other girls. [08:35.10] [08:35.10]Well, I have a problem with you having a husband. [08:37.50] [08:37.50]I guess we'll both have to learn to deal. [08:39.70] [09:03.80]Don't even try to make it up to me by talking dirty. [09:06.80] [09:06.80]& nbsp; [09:08.00] [09:08.00]Hello? [09:09.20] [09:29.00]Mr. and Mrs. Van De Kamp. [09:30.90] [09:32.00]So your son decided to entertain some of his friends yesterday [09:35.80] [09:35.80]by shoving a freshman's head into a locker. [09:37.80] [09:37.80]This was the Johnson boy? [09:39.20] [09:39.20]Yes. He broke the boy's nose. [09:41.30] [09:41.30]Because of our no-tolerance policy, your son may face expulsion. [09:44.40] [09:44.40]You're going to ruin his whole future over a little rough housing? [09:46.90] [09:46.90]Rex, this was practially assault. [09:49.60] [09:49.60]Mrs. Stark, what Andrew did was clearly wrong, [09:52.60] [09:52.60]but in his defense, his mother and I are going through severe marital problems. [09:56.40] [09:56.40]How is that relevant? [09:57.40] [09:57.40]Our marriage is disintegrating. [09:59.10] [09:59.10]Of course Andrew is acting out. He has every right to be angry. [10:01.80] [10:01.80]If Andrew's angry about you moving out of the house, [10:04.50] [10:04.50]then perhaps he should shove your head into a locker. [10:06.40] [10:06.40]All I'm saying is that we need to take some of the responsibility here. [10:10.10] [10:10.10]So does Andrew. [10:11.90] [10:11.90]Blaming his actions on our problems -- [10:13.60] [10:13.60]which are not so serious -- [10:15.50] [10:15.50]does not help him. [10:16.40] [10:16.40]Our problems are serious. [10:18.00] [10:18.00]Mrs. Stark, you handle this however you see fit. [10:20.40] [10:20.40]Bree, I've gone to an attorney. [10:22.30] [10:22.30]You're going to be served with divorce papers later today. [10:26.00] [10:26.20]You went to an attorney? [10:27.50] [10:27.50]Yeah. [10:28.70] [10:28.70]And a good one, too. [10:30.50] [10:31.90]Well, he better be good, [10:32.70] [10:32.70]because when I'm finished with you, [10:33.90] [10:33.90]you won't have a cent to your name. [10:36.40] [10:36.90]Bring it on. [10:38.50] [10:39.60]Perhaps detention is the way to go. [10:42.20] [10:42.70]Mom, you're getting too dressed up. [10:44.40] [10:44.40]I know, but I want to look really sexy. [10:47.00] [10:47.40]I told Mike I expect him to have you home by 11:00. [10:49.50] [10:49.70]Hmm. How about midnight? [10:51.60] [10:51.60]All right, but no later. You know how I worry. [10:54.50] [10:54.50]So, you, uh, got protection? [10:56.80] [10:56.80]Oh, my god. [10:58.50] [10:58.50]We are so not having this conversation. [11:01.00] [11:01.00]We are, because I enjoy being an only child. [11:03.50] [11:04.30]Are you finished? [11:05.70] [11:05.70]Almost. [11:07.10] [11:07.20]You know, I always assumed I'd have sex for the first time before you had it again. [11:11.20] [11:11.20]Okay, you can leave now, mm-hmm. [11:14.40] [11:14.40]Y eah. [11:15.30] [11:18.00]What do you think? Trying too hard? [11:20.30] [11:21.70]Yeah, well, what do you know? [11:23.10] [11:23.10]It's 80 degrees outside, and you're wearing fur. [11:25.70] [11:35.00]Hey, Mike. [11:36.30] [11:51.50]Hey, Edie. [11:53.00] [11:54.40]Wow. Get a load of you. [11:57.70] [11:57.70]Ooh, you look so pretty. [11:59.40] [11:59.40]I hardly recognize you. [12:01.10] [12:01.10]Oh, this? [12:02.80] [12:02.80]Well, I have a date right now with Mike. [12:08.00] [12:08.40]We kissed. [12:10.00] [12:10.00]FYI. [12:11.60] [12:21.30]Ooh, love that jacket. Good choice. [12:23.00] [12:23.00]Um, look, Susan, I'm really sorry, but I've got to cancel. [12:27.70] [12:27.70]I have an... [12:29.40] [12:29.40]unexpected houseguest. [12:32.20] [12:32.20]Coming through. [12:32.90] [12:32.90]Oh, sorry. Hi, I'm Kendra. [12:35.00] [12:35.00]Susan. [12:36.30] [12:36.80]I'm going to run to the car and get my stuff. [12:39.30] [12:43.30]I know how this looks, but there's nothing between us. [12:46.20] [12:46.20]Kendra's just an old friend. [12:47.90] [12:47.90]Old friend. [12:49.30] [12:49.30]Yeah, you know -- [12:50.20] [12:50.20]Yeah, yeah. [12:51.80] [12:52.00]No, actually, no, I don't know. [12:53.80] [12:53.80]So by "old friend," you mean college pal, bowling buddy, saved you from drowning? [12:58.10] [12:58.10]It's hard to explain. [12:59.70] [12:59.70]Could you give it a shot? [13:02.00] [13:03.80]Mike, I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower. [13:06.40] [13:09.60]Look, I promise I'll make this up to you. [13:12.90] [13:13.90]And... [13:15.70] [13:15.70]you look amazing. [13:17.20] [13:17.20]Mike, where are the towels? [13:19.90] [13:24.00]Thanks. [13:25.40] [13:30.10]Hey! [13:31.50] [13:31.70]How was your big date? [13:33.30] [13:33.30]& nbsp; [13:34.40] [13:34.40]Mike had to reschedule. [13:36.30] [13:37.00]Oh, because of the hot girl with the suitcase over there? [13:42.60] [13:42.60]Gosh, how devastating for you. [13:44.90] [13:44.90]FYI. [13:46.20] [13:54.30]Look, I just want to move this place fast. I'll do whatever we have to do. [13:57.70] [13:57.70]Well, that's good to know. [13:59.30] [14:00.10]You do realize that you're going to have to disclose the fact that your wife killed herself in the house. [14:04.30] [14:04.30]I am? [14:05.40] [14:05.40]Oh, yeah. [14:06.80] [14:06.80]Legal crap. [14:08.30] [14:08.30]You know, people get really freaked out by suicides. [14:11.60] [14:11.60]I can't blame them. Hell. [14:13.70] [14:13.70]I get the willies just standing here. [14:16.40] [14:16.50]Is there any way to get around it? [14:18.70] [14:18.70]Off the record? [14:19.70] [14:19.70]Yeah. [14:21.30] [14:21.70]You could say that she shot herself in the living room [14:24.80] [14:24.80]and then crawled out back to die. [14:28.00] [14:28.80]Well, I'm just saying. [14:30.60] [14:33.00]Oh, I got to go. I'll call you tomorrow. [14:35.90] [14:41.60]Edie, wait. [14:43.30] [14:53.00]Paul had always known Edie Britt was capable of doing anything to close a deal. [14:58.80] [15:01.20]But now he realized she was capable of so much more. [15:06.70] [15:08.70]Hey, Danielle. [15:09.80] [15:09.80]Hey, Mrs. Solis. [15:11.50] [15:13.30]Oh, Danielle... [15:14.90] [15:16.00]remember when you said you wanted to be a model? [15:17.90] [15:17.90]You remember that? That was, like, last summer. [15:20.30] [15:20.30]Well, as it turns out, Percik Modeling Academy has an opening for their summer program. [15:24.50] [15:24.50]Would you like me to sponsor you? [15:25.90] [15:25.90]Would I? Oh, my god. That's, like, one of the best schools in the country. [15:28.50] [15:28.50]You would do that for me? [15:29.60] [15:29.60]I sure would. [15:31.10] [15:31.10]I would so love to go to New York. [15:33.50] [15:33.70]Oh, and I would so love to help you get there. [15:37.30] [15:45.30]Hey, Jordana. [15:46.60] [15:46.60]Hey, Lynette. How are you? [15:49.10] [15:50.20]You look a little tired. Is everything okay? [15:52.70] [15:52.70]Actually, I'm getting ready for a dinner party tomorrow night -- six people. [15:56.00] [15:56.00]Sounds fun. [15:56.90] [15:56.90]Big fun. [15:58.20] [15:59.00]Say, you wouldn't have any of your kids' A.D.D. medication that you could spare just to get me over the hump -- [16:04.00] [16:04.00]Tina! [16:05.10] [16:05.90]Don't push your sister. [16:07.70] [16:08.10]Gosh, Lynette, [16:10.20] [16:10.20]I'm really running low. [16:12.00] [16:12.00]I need all my energy I can get. [16:14.50] [16:14.50]My sister Elaine and her kids are flying in town for a week. [16:18.10] [16:18.10]Yeah, that's exciting. I wish my sister would visit more often. [16:21.70] [16:22.00]Yeah, sisters are great. [16:23.00] [16:23.00]Yeah. [16:24.10] [16:24.10]Just three or four pills. I'm really hitting a wall here. [16:26.60] [16:26.60]Yeah, the come-down can be a real bitch. [16:29.60] [16:30.00]I wish I could help. [16:32.10] [16:33.50]I'm not going to forget about this, Jordana. [16:35.80] [16:35.80]What's that supposed to mean? [16:37.20] [16:37.20]It means come girl scout cookie time, [16:39.10] [16:39.10]don't bother bringing around little Tina, because we won't be home. [16:42.50] [16:48.50]What's all this about? [16:50.20] [16:51.90]You both know that your mother and I have been unhappy for quite a while. [16:55.10] [16:55.10]After a lot of soul-searching, we've decided that it would be better if we got divorced. [16:59.50] [16:59.70]But whatever problems your father and I may have, [17:01.90] [17:01.90]it doesn't change the fact that we love you very, very much. [17:06.10] [17:06.10]I've got a question. [17:07.10] [17:07.10]Go ahead, sweet heart. Ask whatever you want. [17:09.70] [17:09.70]Can I live with dad? [17:11.60] [17:12.30]I mean, come on, mom, let's face it -- we drive each other crazy. [17:15.20] [17:23.20]Is -- is that what you would prefer, Danielle -- to live with your father? [17:26.00] [17:26.00]I don't really care as long as I have my own bathroom. [17:29.70] [17:33.10]Um... all this, um, [17:36.60] [17:36.60]wine is, uh, giving me a headache. [17:40.40] [17:51.90]Six weeks in the suburban jungle and this is all you got? [17:56.30] [17:56.50]There are over 300 families in this subdivision. [17:59.60] [17:59.60]It'll take time to check them all out. [18:01.10] [18:01.10]Dad said last time he saw you, you were ready to quit. [18:03.70] [18:03.70]Yeah, well, I changed my mind. [18:05.70] [18:05.70]This is a gigantic waste of your time, and my father's money. [18:09.70] [18:09.70]What, are you afraid of the old man burning through your inheritance? [18:12.50] [18:12.50]That's not funny. [18:14.20] [18:14.90]Mike, here's the thing. [18:16.80] [18:16.80]What? [18:17.80] [18:18.90]Dad can't chase ghosts alone. [18:21.00] [18:21.00]If you stop, he'll have to accept it's over. [18:23.70] [18:23.70]Let me have my father back. [18:26.50] [18:26.60]If I quit, he'll just hire somebody else. [18:28.30] [18:28.30]Not if you tell him there's nothing here to find. [18:31.60] [18:32.40]Well, I can't do that. [18:34.20] [18:38.60]What happens when your girlfriend finds out you're not just this sweet, neighborly plumber? [18:44.70] [18:48.40]You're lying to her, Mike. [18:50.70] [18:56.10]Oh, here it is. [18:57.10] [18:57.80]Great. [18:59.10] [18:59.60]This will keep the crab dip warm. [19:01.00] [19:01.00]It took forever to shell the little buggers, but it'll be worth it. [19:03.50] [19:03.50]You shelled your own crabs? [19:05.80] [19:06.20]Okay, I don't want to butt in, but are you doing too much? [19:08.20] [19:08.20]'Cause you look exhausted. [19:09.50] [19:09.50]Oh, I'm fine. I just need some coffee. [19:12.10] [19:12.10]Thank you. [19:13.40] [19:15.50]Oh, my god. Look at this embroidery. [19:18.60] [19:20.80]"Dana." [19:22.10] [19:22.60]Where did this come from? [19:24.20] [19:24.50]Paul Young's garage sale. [19:27.40] [19:31.40]Dana. [19:33.80] [19:34.50]Wow. [19:36.10] [19:36.10]Dana was a baby. [19:38.60] [19:46.00]Surprise. [19:47.50] [19:48.00]No way. [19:48.90] [19:48.90]Yep. [19:49.60] [19:49.60]No way. [19:50.30] [19:50.30]Nah, it's all yours. Here are the keys. [19:52.20] [19:52.40]Rex, what's this about? [19:54.40] [19:54.40]I went and splurged a little. [19:56.50] [19:56.50]Oh, Danielle, here's your present. [20:00.00] [20:00.20]Luggage? [20:00.80] [20:00.80]Yeah. It's to take with you to the Percik Mmodeling Aacademy. [20:03.90] [20:03.90]I'm footing the entire bill. [20:05.40] [20:05.40]You mean it? I can really go to new york? [20:07.10] [20:07.10]Wait. Wait a minute. What's all this about a modeling academy? [20:09.50] [20:09.50]It's my new career. Mrs. Solis is sponsoring me. [20:12.00] [20:12.00]Oh, is she now? And when were you planning on telling me? [20:14.00] [20:14.00]She told me, and I think it's a great idea. [20:16.60] [20:16.60]Don't you two see what he's doing? [20:18.00] [20:18.00]He's trying to get you on his side. He's trying to buy your love. [20:20.40] [20:20.40]Oh, for god's sake, don't be paranoid. [20:22.50] [20:22.50]A car? A modeling academy? [20:25.00] [20:25.20]You should have discussed these gifts with me first. [20:27.20] [20:27.20]I'm sorry, kids, but we cannot accept them. [20:29.90] [20:30.30]Dad, you can't let her do this. [20:32.10] [20:32.10]Bree, we just told the kids we're getting divorced. Isn't it time to spoil them a little? [20:35.80] [20:35.80]I said no. [20:37.50] [20:38.30]You know what? [20:39.80] [20:39.90]They're my kids, too, and I can give the many thing I want. [20:42.80] [20:44.50]There you go. [20:45.40] [20:45.40]- Thank you, daddy. - Yes! [20:47.10] [21:13.80]Did you offer to help Danielle get into modeling school? [21:16.50] [21:16.50]What? [21:17.80] [21:17.80]Uh, yes. [21:18.60] [21:18.60]No. Um... [21:20.60] [21:20.60]is that how she heard it? [21:22.10] [21:22.10]Yes. Gabrielle, did you or did you not offer to sponsor her? [21:26.60] [21:26.60]I just wanted to help out. [21:28.50] [21:28.50]It's in New York, for god's sakes. Why on earth would you suggest that? [21:32.10] [21:33.20]It's her dream, and don't you want her to be happy? [21:36.60] [21:36.60]No. [21:37.40] [21:37.40]And in the future, I would appreciate you keeping your ridiculous ideas to yourself. [21:41.50] [21:42.90]Bree. [21:44.10] [21:51.70]John. [21:52.90] [21:55.30]John! [21:56.40] [21:56.40]You're so jealous of Danielle, you try to ship her off to New York? [21:58.70] [21:58.70]I'm not jealous. I just don't like to share. [22:02.40] [22:02.40]Well, you know what? I quit. The yard, us, everything. [22:05.90] [22:05.90]Oh, don't be that way. [22:07.70] [22:07.70]Well, what's the point if we can never be together? [22:09.70] [22:09.70]You know, an hour here, an hour there. [22:12.10] [22:12.30]I don't want us to end on a bad note. [22:15.70] [22:15.70]Carlos has this black-tie thing tonight. [22:17.80] [22:17.80]- I could slip out -- - Mrs. Solis -- [22:19.60] [22:19.60]John, please. [22:21.80] [22:22.50]What we had was so special. [22:26.20] [22:26.60]I think it deserves a proper goodbye. [22:29.00] [22:30.40]We'd, um... [22:31.70] [22:31.90]we'd still be over, though. [22:33.70] [22:33.70]Of course. [22:35.70] [22:48.90]I knew this play date was a good idea. [22:51.00] [22:51.00]Yeah, thank you for suggesting it. [22:53.00] [22:53.00]Your boys are the only ones I know who could tire out Timmy. [22:56.30] [22:58.00]Yep, he's a feisty one. [23:00.50] [23:01.20]Hey, word on the street is, um, you've been medicating Timmy? [23:04.20] [23:04.20]Oh, yeah, for his A.D.D. [23:06.60] [23:06.60]The pills have been a god send. [23:08.70] [23:08.70]I bet. [23:11.00] [23:12.70]Can I use your bathroom? [23:14.50] [23:32.90]As Lynette swallowed the stolen medication of an 8-year-old child, [23:37.60] [23:37.60]she vowed she'd never again sink to such depths... [23:43.30] [23:45.90]anytime soon. [23:47.90] [23:57.60]Well, it looks like you've got your black mailer. [24:00.10] [24:01.80]Is it time to bring in the police? [24:04.20] [24:04.20]That's not really an option for me. [24:06.60] [24:06.60]Mm. [24:08.40] [24:09.50]Before my wife shot herself, [24:11.36] [24:11.36]we lived a life that I was proud of. [24:13.80] [24:14.00]We loved each other, [24:15.90] [24:15.90]we had values, we went to church, [24:18.40] [24:18.40]we gave to charity. [24:20.10] [24:20.10]We were good people, Mr. Shaw. [24:21.80] [24:21.80]Oh, I believe you. [24:23.80] [24:25.50]That's why it's so incomprehensible to me that Edie Britt would try to destroy us. [24:30.00] [24:31.90]Well, you've suffered a great loss. [24:33.90] [24:33.90]For your pain to heal, that's going to take some time. [24:37.10] [24:38.40]I can't wait. [24:40.10] [24:41.50]I need help now. [24:43.40] [24:47.10]For 5 grand, she's hurt. [24:49.70] [24:49.70]10 grand, she's gone. [24:51.60] [25:09.20]Mom, what's going on? [25:10.20] [25:10.20]Oh, I'm throwing you out. [25:11.60] [25:11.60]I've separated all your things into two sides. [25:13.80] [25:13.80]This side is yours, Danielle, and the other one is Andrew's. [25:17.20] [25:17.20]Okay, you-- you've lost it. [25:19.80] [25:19.80]Where are we supposed to live? [25:21.10] [25:21.10]Darned if I know. [25:22.50] [25:22.50]Uh, Danielle, everything in the north quadrant of your side is clothes and books and such, [25:26.40] [25:26.40]and the south side are miscellaneous items. [25:28.60] [25:28.60]Mom, this isn't going to work, okay? I'm not giving up my car. [25:31.90] [25:31.90]That's a smart idea, because you're probably going to have to sleep in it for a while. [25:35.90] [25:37.30]Mom, you can't stop us from going back inside the house. [25:40.50] [25:40.50]Oh, no? That's Mr. Conlan, the locksmith. He's been very helpful today. [25:45.30] [25:45.30]Of course, I could give you the new keys, [25:47.50] [25:47.50]which would mean you'd have to adhere to my rules, [25:49.40] [25:49.40]which include giving back your father's gifts. [25:52.50] [25:58.80]Okay, fine, you win. I won't go to New York. [26:01.80] [26:06.10]I'm outta here. [26:07.60] [26:12.70]Oh, hello. [26:13.90] [26:13.90]- Welcome. I'm Edie. - Hi. Nice to meet you. [26:16.40] [26:16.40]An open house in the suburbs? [26:18.60] [26:18.60]This is beyond kitsch. [26:20.30] [26:20.30]Just be have yourself. [26:21.20] [26:21.20]This is one of the houses on the street I've had a hard time getting into. [26:23.60] [26:23.60]God, I wish you would let this go. [26:26.10] [26:26.10]I'm taking you out for drinks tonight. [26:27.00] [26:27.00]There's this cowboy bar called the Saddle Ranch you need to see. [26:29.90] [26:29.90]Why? [26:31.20] [26:31.20]It's the last place anybody ever saw your sister. [26:34.00] [26:37.70]Susan. [26:39.10] [26:39.80]What brings you here? [26:41.20] [26:41.20]I just wanted to say goodbye to Mary Alice's house [26:44.40] [26:44.40]before somebody else moved in. [26:46.20] [26:46.20]Aw. [26:47.80] [26:47.80]That sounds almost plausible. [26:49.80] [26:51.00]I beg your pardon? [26:52.20] [26:52.20]Oh, come on. [26:54.00] [26:54.60]We both know why you're here, [26:56.70] [26:56.70]and the answer is yes, they are having sex. [27:00.00] [27:00.00]No question. [27:01.20] [27:01.20]You don't know what you're talking about. They're just friends. [27:03.60] [27:03.60]Hmm. Think so? [27:05.00] [27:05.00]I overheard them say that they're going to the Saddle Ranch tonight [27:08.10] [27:08.10]for drinks and dancing. [27:10.50] [27:10.90]So? Friends can do that. [27:12.90] [27:13.70]Oh, my god. I just want to slap and shake you. [27:17.50] [27:22.50]Where did you say they were going tonight? [27:24.60] [27:34.90]I don't know why I let you talk me into coming here. [27:36.60] [27:36.60]There is obviously nothing going on between them. [27:40.00] [27:40.00]Where are you going? [27:40.90] [27:40.90]I'm going to the bathroom, and then I'm going home. [27:42.30] [27:42.30]I don't want Mike to catch me here. [27:44.30] [27:44.30]It's only been 10 minutes. [27:46.20] [27:46.20]She could be waiting to make her move. [27:49.20] [27:51.60]Oh, come on. You're not going to beat a girl like that by knocking off early. [27:54.70] [27:54.70]It's not a competition. [27:56.70] [27:56.70]The hell it isn't. [27:58.90] [27:59.40]Good night, Edie. [28:01.00] [28:01.70]Suit yourself. [28:03.20] [28:03.20]But for the record... [28:04.80] [28:05.20]I was rooting for you to land him. [28:07.30] [28:07.30]And why would you root for me? [28:10.40] [28:10.40]Well, I figured it'd be easier for me to steal Mike from you than her. [28:14.10] [28:14.30]She seems like fun. [28:16.50] [28:19.90]Just take some ant acid. [28:21.60] [28:21.60]It's not those kind of cramps. [28:23.20] [28:23.20]This is a business dinner. [28:25.30] [28:25.70]It's important. [28:27.70] [28:27.80]Mm. [28:29.30] [28:29.30]Relax. [28:30.90] [28:30.90]You and I can go alone. [28:32.70] [28:32.70]Gabrielle can stay here and get better. [28:35.30] [28:36.70]Fine. [28:38.20] [28:38.40]See you in a couple of hours. [28:39.90] [28:39.90]Okay. [28:41.10] [28:41.50]Take good care of Carlos. [28:43.30] [28:43.30]Oh, I always do. [28:45.60] [28:56.50]Go, Edie! [28:58.00] [29:08.60]Oh, god. [29:10.20] [29:18.80]Mike. [29:20.60] [29:20.60]What a small, small world. [29:23.30] [29:23.30]Yeah, it sure is. [29:24.70] [29:24.70]I caught Edie hiding in the back. [29:26.40] [29:26.40]No kidding. Is she here? [29:28.40] [29:31.70]Yeah. [29:32.60] [29:32.60]Yeah, she said, um, "the jig is up," and then she went to ride the bull. [29:36.90] [29:36.90]Oh, and she said you two came together. [29:38.50] [29:38.50]Oh, well, yeah. W-we did. [29:40.60] [29:40.60]Uh, I just thought she left. [29:43.30] [29:43.30]Are you following me? [29:44.60] [29:44.60]What? [29:46.10] [29:46.60]No. [29:47.70] [29:47.70]No, I just came here, you know, with Edie. [29:50.70] [29:50.70]We just love to ride that bull. [29:54.00] [29:54.20]You ride the bull? [29:55.60] [29:55.60]Yeah. Yeah, it's a real rush. [29:57.90] [29:58.30]Come on, Susan. Give me a break. [30:00.40] [30:00.40]No, you know, you give me a break. [30:01.70] [30:01.70]I did not follow you here, and even if I had followed you here, [30:04.50] [30:04.50]it's just because you've been so secretive about Kendra. [30:06.40] [30:06.40]Kendra and I are friends. [30:08.20] [30:08.20]And I came here to ride the bull. [30:09.80] [30:09.80]Whoo! [30:12.30] [30:12.30]We got another one to ride the bull! [30:14.90] [30:20.20]Okay, little doggie, [30:21.70] [30:21.90]you're up. [30:23.00] [30:23.00]Oh, fun. [30:24.20] [30:24.20]I'm a doggie. [30:26.20] [30:30.80]Oh. Whoo. [30:32.20] [30:44.50]Oh, yeah. I'm here to ride the bull. [30:48.50] [30:49.40]Check it out. Whoo! [30:51.30] [30:52.80]Yeah! Whoo! [30:55.40] [30:55.40]Baby! [30:56.70] [30:56.70]Whoo! [30:59.10] [31:00.60]Aah! Ooh. [31:02.30] [31:05.80]Andrew, you promised you'd stay with your mother. [31:07.50] [31:07.50]That's why I gave you the car. [31:09.30] [31:09.30]Dad, she wants me out. She put all my stuff on the front lawn. [31:12.70] [31:12.70]This is ridiculous. [31:13.80] [31:13.80]I'm going to call her, and I'm going to smooth all this out. [31:16.60] [31:16.60]You're going home. [31:17.20] [31:17.20]No, dad, why? [31:18.80] [31:18.80]Now I can live with you without feeling guilty. [31:20.90] [31:20.90]It'll be perfect. It'll be like our own little bachelor pad. [31:24.10] [31:26.60]What? [31:27.70] [31:27.70]Son, that's not going to happen. [31:30.10] [31:30.10]Why not? [31:31.60] [31:31.60]Andrew... [31:33.50] [31:34.60]you know, these --these last few months have been incredibly difficult for me. [31:38.10] [31:38.10]There are a lot of things that I've got to work out for myself, [31:40.60] [31:40.60]and I can't do it if you're living with me. [31:42.80] [31:42.80]I'm sorry. [31:44.30] [31:44.30]I don't care, all right? [31:46.90] [31:46.90]I'm not going back there. [31:48.10] [31:48.10]I don't think you have a choice. [31:50.60] [31:50.60]But, dad -- [31:51.60] [31:51.60]unh-unh. [31:53.80] [31:58.70]Oh. [32:00.10] [32:00.10]Come on now. Don't -- [32:01.60] [32:08.00]Heath? [32:09.20] [32:09.80]Yeah, it's me. [32:10.90] [32:11.80]Do you still have your fake I.D.? [32:13.80] [32:14.20]Yeah, I've got to go home and kiss my mother's ass, and I am not going to do it sober. [32:18.80] [32:26.00]"That was more than I needed to know." [32:27.50] [32:29.70]He was in shock. He was totally shocked. [32:32.00] [32:32.00]He says, "Congressman, this was a campaign. [32:34.10] [32:34.10]This was not the vote. You voted already." [32:36.20] [32:36.40]That's what it was. [32:37.60] [32:37.60]I love that one. [32:39.80] [32:39.90]Oh, the desserts look wonderful. [32:43.00] [32:43.40]Lynette, do you need any help? [32:44.50] [32:44.50]I got it covered. No problem. [32:46.10] [32:46.10]Okay, Scavo, you're up. [32:47.90] [32:47.90]Let's hear this genius idea of yours. [32:50.30] [32:50.30]Okay. [32:52.10] [32:52.10]Uh... [32:53.90] [32:55.40]okay. [32:56.00] [32:57.20]The single greatest obstacle facing Spotless Scrub is a lack of visibility. [33:01.00] [33:01.00]We need to concentrate ad spending in places where women spend the majority of their time. [33:06.80] [33:06.80]For example, large chain grocery stores. [33:10.30] [33:10.30]Picture Spotless Scrub ads on the side of every mother's shopping cart. [33:16.10] [33:16.70]Interesting. [33:17.50] [33:17.50]Oh, you know what'd be even better? [33:19.00] [33:19.00]Dry cleaning bags. [33:21.00] [33:21.00]What? [33:21.80] [33:21.80]No, really, hear me out. [33:23.00] [33:23.00]Put a big Spotless Scrub ad between a woman and her cashmere sweater, [33:26.50] [33:26.50]I guarantee you'll get her attention. [33:27.70] [33:27.70]Honey, honey, that's great. [33:28.50] [33:28.50]I'm in the middle of a thing here. [33:30.20] [33:30.20]Oh. [33:31.60] [33:32.50]Look -- she's got a point. [33:34.60] [33:34.60]I would notice that. [33:36.50] [33:36.50]And those dry cleaning bags hang in our closets forever, [33:39.00] [33:39.00]and so it is like constant advertising. [33:41.50] [33:41.50]Exactly. [33:43.20] [33:43.20]You know, maybe there's a way that we can work that in, but back to me. [33:44.70] [33:44.70]You know, Lynette, this is kind of a fantastic idea. [33:47.80] [33:47.80]Can we go nation wide with this? [33:49.30] [33:49.30]Why not? Start by targeting the top chain. [33:51.80] [33:51.80]Then branch out from there. [33:53.90] [33:53.90]Boom, boom, boom -- mass saturation. [33:55.50] [33:55.50]Oh, you know what else would be a great idea? [33:57.90] [33:57.90]Here's the thing... [33:58.60] [33:58.60]While Lynette was commanding everyone's attention, [34:01.80] [34:02.80]Susan was trying to remain inconspicuous. [34:07.00] [34:07.00]Everybody's looking at me, aren't they? [34:09.20] [34:09.40]Just the slapstick fans. [34:11.30] [34:11.30]Oh, god, why couldn't I have just been knocked unconscious? [34:16.10] [34:16.70]Beer? [34:17.40] [34:17.40]Absolutely. [34:19.90] [34:21.40]Oh. [34:22.60] [34:23.00]Ow. [34:24.80] [34:24.80]Ow, ow. [34:26.90] [34:29.40]Susan, this is Kendra. [34:31.40] [34:31.40]We've been introduced. [34:32.20] [34:32.20]No, this is Kendra. We've been friends for years. [34:35.00] [34:35.00]She's here on a visit. She's leaving tomorrow. [34:37.20] [34:37.20]That's it. [34:38.40] [34:38.80]It's true. [34:39.70] [34:39.70]I have no designs on this man whatsoever. [34:43.10] [34:44.10]I'll be right back. [34:45.60] [34:48.20]Sorry about the misunderstanding. [34:50.20] [34:50.20]Me too. [34:51.20] [34:51.20]So how long have you two been seeing each other? [34:54.00] [34:54.00]Well, you sort of interrupted our first date, [34:57.10] [34:57.40]but up until then, smoking hot tension. [35:00.30] [35:01.50]Sounds pathetic, I know. [35:02.90] [35:02.90]No, I think it's good to take it slow. [35:05.40] [35:06.10]You'd be smart to be careful. [35:08.60] [35:11.60]Any particular reason? [35:12.90] [35:12.90]Look, Mike's a wonderful guy, really, [35:16.60] [35:16.60]but you should ask him why he moved to Wisteria Lane. [35:21.40] [35:21.70]It's one hell of a story. [35:23.50] [35:25.20]Here, I got some ice. [35:26.70] [35:27.50]Here you go. [35:28.80] [35:28.80]Thanks. [35:30.40] [35:42.20]Well, it's been fun. Thanks, guys. [35:44.80] [35:44.80]See you later. [35:45.70] [35:45.70]Whoo-wee. [35:47.30] [35:49.20]Good evening. [35:50.00] [35:50.00]Well, good evening. [35:51.30] [35:51.90]Have a seat. [35:53.00] [35:57.80]I could get used to this whole closure thing. [36:00.00] [36:00.00]I love long goodbyes. [36:02.20] [36:13.10]Wait around the corner. I'll be right back. [36:15.50] [36:25.20]Smile, Gabrielle. [36:26.50] [36:43.30]Well, that's it, then. [36:44.70] [36:50.20]What are you doing? [36:51.00] [36:51.00]She had a camera. We've got to catch her. [36:53.50] [36:56.00]Mrs. Solis, your husband's going to kill us. [36:58.70] [36:58.70]Come on! [37:00.30] [37:03.00]Leave me alone! [37:04.50] [37:04.70]Give me that camera right now! [37:05.60] [37:05.60]Shut up. [37:06.10] [37:06.10]I'm not kidding, old woman! [37:07.50] [37:07.50]Stay away from me! Don't touch me! [37:10.40] [37:56.30]No. [37:57.10] [37:59.70]No, you go home. [38:01.10] [38:01.50]I'll take care of this. [38:03.10] [38:03.80]And you were never here. [38:05.70] [38:06.50]Go. [38:07.90] [38:07.90]Go. [38:09.10] [38:14.00]Did you see that? [38:15.60] [38:15.90]That guy came barreling around the corner and just hit her. [38:18.50] [38:18.50]Do you have a cell phone? [38:19.50] [38:19.50]Yeah. [38:20.00] [38:20.00]Call 911. [38:21.50] [39:00.30]As Juanita teetered dangerously close to the white light, [39:04.70] [39:05.30]Lynette and Tom were headed into a black hole. [39:08.00] [39:08.00]I was just participating. [39:10.20] [39:10.20]Well -- no, your participation was supposed to be limited to making dinner, [39:13.10] [39:13.10]not making my ideas look bad. [39:15.60] [39:15.60]Yeah, well, maybe you need better ideas. [39:18.10] [39:19.00]I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. [39:21.50] [39:21.50]No. No, no, no, no. [39:22.40] [39:22.40]We both know that your career was going so much better than mine before we had kids. [39:26.00] [39:26.00]You never let me forget that. [39:27.60] [39:27.60]That is not fair. [39:29.20] [39:29.20]You're always competing with me, [39:31.10] [39:31.10]and judging by tonight, you know what? You still are. [39:33.20] [39:33.20]Tom, I am sorry about tonight, truly, [39:35.70] [39:35.70]but these days, if I'm competing with anyone, it's the Bree Van De Kamps of the world, [39:39.50] [39:39.50]with their spotless kitchens and their perfect kids who throw fabulous parties where nothing ever goes wrong. [39:45.10] [39:45.10]I try so hard to keep up, but I can't. [39:47.40] [39:47.40]Lynette, that's not my expecta-- [39:48.30] [39:48.30]and when you work on a pitch or you bring the partners over, [39:50.90] [39:50.90]I am reminded of a world I left behind where I was the winner [39:54.30] [39:54.30]and people tried to keep up with me. [39:56.70] [39:56.70]I can't go back. I can't win where I am. [39:59.70] [39:59.70]I am stuck in the middle, and it is really starting to get to me. [40:02.40] [40:02.40]Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. For your information, [40:05.00] [40:05.00]I thought you threw an amazing dinner party tonight. [40:07.70] [40:07.70]I was thrilled. [40:09.10] [40:10.10]I don't know how you pulled it all together. [40:12.60] [40:15.70]Yeah, well... [40:16.40] [40:16.40]and whether you believe it or not, [40:18.50] [40:18.70]everyone who knows you thinks that you are a great wife and mother. [40:22.90] [40:22.90]No, they don't. [40:23.80] [40:23.80]Yes, they do. [40:25.40] [40:25.90]Especially me. [40:28.00] [40:29.60]Thanks. [40:30.80] [40:33.00]What's wrong with your eyes? [40:35.00] [40:35.50]Nothing. I'm tired. [40:37.80] [40:39.30]Turn around. Wait a minute. I want to look at you. What -- [40:40.90] [40:40.90]I'm fine, really. [40:42.40] [40:44.60]Wow, what's going on outside? [40:46.80] [41:00.10]Oh, my... [41:01.00] [41:01.00]oh, my god. Thank god you're here. [41:02.30] [41:02.30]Will you go take care of Gabrielle? I have to go home for a minute. [41:04.70] [41:04.70]All right. [41:06.30] [41:10.50]Oh, Andrew, thank god you're back. [41:12.40] [41:12.40]I need your help, honey. [41:13.80] [41:13.80]There's been an accident. [41:15.80] [41:17.70]Andrew? [41:18.60] [41:24.10]Mama? [41:25.50] [41:28.80]Andrew. [41:30.50] [41:35.00]Rex, you need to come home. [41:37.30] [41:37.30]Something's happened, and we need you. [41:39.70] [41:51.00]Competition. [41:52.20] [41:52.20]It means different things to different people, [41:55.30] [41:55.70]but whether it's a friendly rivalry [41:58.30] [41:58.30]or a fight to the death... [42:00.80] [42:00.90]Cheers. [42:01.90] [42:01.90]The end result is the same. [42:05.00] [42:06.00]There will be winners... [42:08.80] [42:09.30]and there will be losers. [42:11.90] [42:19.50]Of course, the trick is [42:22.10] [42:22.10]to know which battles to fight. [42:24.90] [42:27.10]You see... [42:28.80] [42:29.40]no victory comes without a price. [42:33.30]

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